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Women's Common Complaint: My Man Is Letting Himself Go

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Many women take great pride in making themselves look good. They eat right, exercise, spend money on makeup, manicures, and highlights, and they're always up to date on the latest fashion. We want to look good for our own self-confidence, but we also do it for the men in our lives. But once we're in a relationship, I'm sure we can all admit to getting comfortable and perhaps not trying as hard. Guys are the same way, but what happens if your man takes comfort to a whole other level and completely lets himself go? Maybe he grows a beard, wear sweats all the time, doesn't shower as much, spends an insane amount of time on the couch, drinks excessively, or gains weight. He may think, "she loves me no matter what" so what's a girl to do? To hear my suggestions

Women's Common Complaint: Intercourse Doesn't Do It For Me

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

If you have a difficult time reaching an orgasm solely through intercourse, then you're not alone. Seventy percent of women need special attention paid to their clitoris in order to achieve an orgasm. Logistically speaking, the motion of sex doesn't really provide the direct contact women need, so many women can be left pretty unsatisfied. If sex is consistently mediocre, then you won't be very excited about doing it. But don't give up! It's all about patience and creativity, so start with some of my ideas.

Slow down. While it's nice to rip each other's clothes off and go at it, a woman needs to be warmed up. Spend some extra time on foreplay. Kiss each other all over, let your hands wander all over each other's clothed bodies, and then slowly take turns undressing each other. The anticipation of what's to come is sure to build up excitement.
Since you know that intercourse is a guaranteed party pleaser for your man, let the focus be on you in the beginning. Have him pleasure you with his hands, his mouth, his words, or a vibrator — whatever gets you aroused. Make sure you reach orgasm before you move on to intercourse. That way you'll have your turn, and he'll have his, and you can both really enjoy yourselves.

Two more tips, so

Women's Common Complaint: He Won't Perform Oral Sex

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Certainly some of us are lucky enough to have a partner who's good at oral sex, but unfortunately that doesn't always means he's so inclined to do it. If that's the case, here are a few tips to get your man to pleasure you.

Ask for it. Be bold, take charge, and tell him exactly what you want. Say it in your own sweet way.
If you don't want to have to ask for it, place yourself in a position (literally) that communicates exactly what you want. Shift your body and his kisses appropriately to move him in the right direction.
You can even make it a little game by taking turns with one another or by incorporating oral sex into something new that you're experimenting with.
When it does happen, make sure that he knows how good he makes you feel. If he believes that he's good at it, he'll be more likely to want to do it in the future.

Ideally, it should be fun for both of you, so work together to come up with ways to make it more pleasurable for him. Got your own tips? Share them in the comments below.

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Women's Common Complaint: He Occasionally Sees Strippers

DearSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

So your man doesn't hit the strip clubs every weekend, but what if he goes with the boys every once in a while? If it's something you don't like or even understand, you're not alone, but talking about it with him will surely make a big difference. Here are some points you can cover.

Ask him why he likes going to strip clubs so you can get a better understanding of his rationale. Maybe he goes so he can spend guy time with his buddies, or maybe it's a way to have fun and relieve stress.
Explain how it makes you feel, that you're worried he may be more sexually interested in these other women than he is you. This is a good way to find out if there's anything about your sex life that bothers him or if he wishes things were different.
Ask him if it's one of his sexual fantasies to see a woman strip down and dance for him, then ask if he'd be interested in you stripping for him instead!

Dear's Advice:Remember that boys will be boys and just because your significant other enjoys hitting the strip club every once in a while, it doesn't necessarily mean he's any less attracted to you. With that said, if talking about it doesn't make you feel more secure, or if he's not willing to see things from your perspective and make some changes, you might want to reconsider your relationship.

Source

Women's Common Complaint: He's Not Into My Sexy Lingerie

DearSugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

You tried so hard to get your man excited — you went shopping with your girlfriend and picked up the sexiest satin and lace number you could find. You thought you looked great and was sure your man wouldn't be able to resist you. Then when you slipped it on for what you thought was going to be one amazing night, he wasn't that into it. What gives?

While it's true that guys are very visual when it comes to sex, not all guys love to see their woman in sexy lingerie. It all comes down to personal preference, and a feather-fringed nighty may not be the type of thing that turns your guy on. So what can you do about it?

If you love wearing sexy getups because it makes you feel sexy and beautiful, then don't worry about what he thinks. Wear it anyway because your confidence will surely be a turn-on.
If you only bought it for him and he's not even batting an eye, find out what he does like you to wear. Maybe he's into a plain white T-shirt or your old high-school cheerleading outfit or perhaps he'd rather see you in nothing at all. You'll never know unless you ask.
While many guys get turned on by what they see, maybe your man is more intrigued by how you smell or feel, or what you say to him. Again, you'll only know by talking to him about it.

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Women's Common Complaint: He's Bad at Oral Sex

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Not everyone is good at everything. Maybe your man is a passionate kisser, sensitive listener, and makes a delicious Eggplant Parm, but when it comes to pleasing you, his skills are slightly lacking. One common complaint I hear from women is that they aren't satisfied when it comes to oral sex. So ladies, if your man seems to be lost when he goes below the belt, don't give up! I'm sure he's really trying hard to please you, so here are some suggestions on how to help make it happen.

Maybe there's a problem with logistics. Propping your hips up by placing a pillow under your bum will make it easier for him to reach you. This will also prevent him from getting lower back or neck pain.
If what he's doing isn't pleasing you at all, don't fake it. Help him out a little by letting him know what you do like. Give his some specific directions, even guide him with your own hands. At first it may be difficult (and perhaps a little embarrassing), but if you don't ask for what you want, you're not going to get it.

What else might help? To find out

Women's Common Complaint: He Falls Asleep Right After Sex

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0700

You just shared the most beautiful, mind-blowing experience with your man. Afterwards, you want to stay up and chat about your love, but he's all about rolling over and going right to sleep. So what gives?

Now while I realize not all men react this way, generally speaking, it's more common for guys to get snoozy after sex. But don't get mad at your man — they aren't hitting the pillows because they want to avoid talking to you; in fact, there are many reasons why men fall asleep after sex. Since most people do the deed when they cuddle up in bed at night, they're tired to begin with, so after sex, sleeping is the next logical response. Another reason is that after reaching orgasm, both men and women release a cocktail of chemicals such as oxytocin and vasopressin, which have drowsy effects. Ironically, they seem to be secreted in equal amounts in men and women, but we all know who orgasms more frequently! Sex can also be really active, so if your guy is doing a lot of the work, then afterwards he could be physically exhausted.

So how can you still get in a little cuddling and chatting before bedtime? To find out

Women's Common Complaint: He's Only Affectionate When He Wants Sex

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Guys and girls are so different, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. Since we are very emotional and nurturing souls, we show someone we care by kissing, hugging, and being affectionate. On the other hand, guys show they care by doing things for their partners — fixing things and solving problems. You see for guys, all that mushy stuff we crave clicks on a switch inside them that says it's time for sex. To his brain and body, affection leads to sex. Perhaps that's why guys rarely hug and kiss you just because! This can be really frustrating for a woman, and can make her feel unloved and unwanted by her man.

So how can you get him to give you a little loving during the day without you two ending up naked? Click here to

Women's Common Complaint: I Have Too Much on My Mind to Have Sex

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:00:00 -0800

I'm sure most of you keep busy with either a full time job, a family, or school. Since these roles take up most of your time, I'm sure your brain is constantly working overtime trying to keep everything straight.

Putting all that aside, we also have our own desires, hopes and questions to think about. To be honest, it can be quite overwhelming to have all this on our minds. Not only can it affect your job and your energy level, but it can also affect your sex life. Getting it on can feel like the last thing on earth you want to do when your mind is clogged with so many other thoughts.

Want to hear some ways to clear your head so you can make room for lovemaking? Then

Women's Common Complaint: I'm Too Tired to Do It

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:00:00 -0800

Having sex is a great way to relieve stress and express your love for someone. The problem is, sometimes we can feel too tired at night for an hour-long romp in the sheets. We get up early, work eight or more hours a day, run errands, make dinner, do the dishes, and by the end of it all, we're exhausted. We've got sleep on the mind, not sex.

Here are some tips that may help:

Don't get hung up on both of you having orgasms. Remember that sex is about intimacy and closeness. So spend some time making out and loving each other, and don't worry about necessarily having sex.
If you do want to have sex, get into bed earlier. That way you'll have enough energy to make love and you'll be finished just in time for bedtime.
Exercise during the day. It improves your stamina and also gives you energy for fun things at the end of your day.

Want to see the rest? Then

Women's Common Complaint: Sex Is Too Much Work

DearSugar — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 11:00:00 -0700

It's a known fact (sad as it is) that women can take a while to warm up sexually. It can be frustrating and awkward too when the guy is doing all he can to hold onto his orgasm and the girl is doing all she can to speed it up so it happens.

Here are some ways to take some of the work out of sex.

If you need to, have a vibrator handy. Hopefully, your man knows by now that your clitoris is equal in sensitivity to the head of his penis. That means that the in and out of sex alone usually isn't enough to stimulate you to orgasm. If you need more stimulation while having sex, let the machine step in to do all the work!
Masturbate alone. In order to communicate to your partner what gets you excited, you've got to know yourself. Plus if you have orgasms on your own, you won't be so starved for them the next time you have sex.

Want to hear the other ideas? Then

Women's Common Complaint: Sex is TOO Short

DearSugar — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 08:00:00 -0700

For some women, it can take at least 20 minutes to get aroused, so if your guy goes from 0 to orgasm in under 4 minutes, then you're going to end up being one extremely frustrated and unsatisfied woman, not to mention one embarrassed guy.

Here are some tips to help lengthen the experience:

Make sure you set aside some time for your intimacy. You don't necessarily need to pencil each other into your calendars, but make sure you have at least an hour where you don't need to go anywhere or do anything. That way you won't feel like you need to rush through your love session.
Have foreplay be all about you. Tell him what you'd like him to do, and you may even need to show him how to do it. That way you'll be aroused and ready to have intercourse when he is.
Encourage him to go slow if you are the type that needs a little more TLC.

Want to hear the other great tips? Then