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Sunday Confessional: I Lied to My Boyfriend to Protect My Friend

DearSugar — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Three years ago I met my boyfriend through my best friend's boyfriend, and the four of us have been a great group. But recently, they've been having some problems, so she and I have been logging in some girl time. A few weeks ago we went out for drinks and met some guys. They did their best to hit on us, and I politely shooed them away, but not before my friend started flirting with one. She had been drinking so I dragged her home and didn't think much of it. Last weekend we went out again and I was shocked when she told me that the guy she had been flirting with was coming to meet us. I was angry, and told her I resented her for putting me in that position. I stormed out of the bar, but decided I'd wait a few minutes outside to see if she followed. When she didn't, I went back in to tell her I was leaving, only to find her making out with him. I pleaded with her to come with me, but she wouldn't listen so left alone. The next day I talked to her and she claimed that she realized she had made a mistake, but needed time to sort things out before telling her boyfriend. But apparently the guys talked about how we got home at different times that night because my boyfriend confronted me, asking what happened. I knew that if I told him the truth he would feel obligated to tell his friend, so I told him that we got in a fight and she ended up hanging out with another girl friend of ours. It took some convincing, but he believed me. Now I feel completely awful. Even if it was to help my friend, I've never lied directly to my boyfriend before. If it all comes out, I know he'll be hurt. Do you think this is something I can be forgiven for? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Lied to My Boyfriend to Protect My Friend

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: I Led Him On

DearSugar — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

For as long as I can remember, I've had the horrible tendency to pursue a guy until he's totally into me, and then dump him right as things start to heat up. There's just something about a crush being interested in me that suddenly makes me totally uninterested in him. In many ways I think I just like the thrill of the chase. Now I'm heading into my late-20s, and struggling with the same habit. I've tried to work on it but I just can't force my feelings.Recently I met a truly wonderful guy. We started dating and hit it off immediately. In fact, things were going so well that I thought I might be finally getting over my issue. Over the months we were dating, I learned that he was dealing with the recent loss of his mother. I was shocked that talking about something so serious brought us closer together instead of sending me out the door. Well a few weekends ago, we went out, I drank way too much, and ended up very sick. He took care of me, brought me home, and stayed the night with me to make sure I was OK. As soon as I woke up the next morning, I immediately sensed something had changed in me; I was over it. That night we had plans to hang out but I never called him back. The next day he called to see what happened and again, I didn't call him back. I ended up breaking up with him via voicemail. He called one last time to ask what he had done wrong, and to try to talk things over with me, but I ignored him. In the past, breaking up always felt like a relief, but this time I felt terrible. I realized I'm actually feeling a loss. Now I want to work things out with him, but I heard through a mutual friend that he's totally disgusted by my behavior. Do you think there's any way for him to forgive me?Source

Sunday Confessional: I Led Him On

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please share.

Sunday Confessional: I Wasn't There When She Needed Me

DearSugar — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A few weekends ago, I ditched out on my long-time friend to hang out with a guy that I have feelings for. My friend and I had been planning on going to the movies, and when I canceled she got upset with me. Since I so rarely flake out, I immediately became irritated with her, and we ended the phone call on a very negative note. We didn't hang out that night, and I ended up going over to my date's house. Much later in the night, when I was fooling around with my crush, I got a text message from my friend saying that she needed to talk to me. I ignored it out of anger. A few minutes later she called me, and again, I ignored it. Not giving it much thought, I put my phone on silent. I was annoyed, but I figured I'd call her in the morning and we could talk about stuff then. The next day when I checked my phone, I had multiple missed calls from my friends, desperately trying to get ahold of me. As it turns out, my friend decided to go to the movie alone and on the way home, she had been assaulted by some young guys. They took her jewelry and her wallet. Needless to say, she was shaken up, but luckily they didn't hurt her and fortunately, she had her phone in her back pocket so she was able to call for help. As it turned out, she was trying to get ahold of me to meet her at the police station. She eventually got another friend to come get her, but I wasn't there to help her when she needed me most. I feel beyond horrible. I've seen her since and tried to talk her, but things are strained; I'm not sure I should even try explaining myself. I'm so torn up. Is what I did to her and our friendship ever forgivable? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Wasn't There When She Needed Me

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: I Took Revenge

DearSugar — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A year ago I started dating a guy I met through a work conference. He was living across the country, but was in the process of transferring to my office for a promotion. We immediately fell for each other and decided to deal with the long distance for a few months before we could be together. During that time we kept things alive by doing a lot of online flirting — he even sent me some naked pictures of himself. Due to the nature of our company, we decided to keep our relationship quiet even after his move. As it turned out, he was in another online relationship with an ex-girlfriend. I didn't figure this out until nine months later, after we had already discussed moving in together and making our relationship public. Fortunately we didn't, and I promptly dumped him for his betrayal — he didn't even seem to feel bad. I was heartbroken and decided to get back at him. I created a fake email account, took one of the particularly unflattering nude pictures that he had sent me, and forwarded it to every person I could think of in our industry. When I came into the office the next day, the rumors had already started. Obviously I received a nasty response from my ex, but I just ignored it. In a few days the whole thing drifted away and for a moment, I felt satisfied, but then I found out that his boss had demoted him and was sending him back to his old office. Now that the consequences of my actions are clear, I feel torn. Can I ever be forgiven for this? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Took Revenge

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: I Made Her an Online Dating Profile, Without Permission

DearSugar — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

For the past year, my good friend has been going on and on about how she never meets guys and how she's doomed to be alone forever — she's only 26! She's a cute woman who's smart and successful, but she refuses to really put herself out there. Throughout numerous conversations, I've explained to her how to approach guys and talk to them — I'm single too — but she refuses to try and then just complains!On top of being depressed about her non-existent romantic life, she tends to be jealous of our other friends in relationships, or the single ones who are having dating success. I know the feeling of loneliness that comes from thinking everyone else is happy in love, but at this point it's hard for me to be sympathetic. Outside of these complaints she really is an amazing person, and a true friend, but I hit my limit. So out of desperation, a few weeks ago, I signed her up for a reputable online dating site without telling her. Her profile ended up getting a lot of interest. Pretending to be her, I started emailing with my top picks and narrowed it down to three guys who I thought would be great for her. Obviously they all wanted to meet up with her in person, so I had to tell her what I'd done. At that point, I figured she'd be so excited about the dates that she wouldn't be upset. Well, I was wrong; now she claims I'm not the good friend she thought I was and is ignoring my phone calls. I feel like she's completely overreacting, but our other friends are divided and it's creating a huge problem in our group. I really was just trying to make something happen for her, which she said she wanted. Shouldn't I be forgiven?Source

Sunday Confessional: I Made Her an Online Dating Profile, Without Permission

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: She Stabbed Me in the Back

DearSugar — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A year before I left for college, I started dating a guy I was crazy about; it was my first love. We had a very happy relationship, but as high school relationships do, things got difficult when I went away to college. By the time I headed home for Winter break, it was clear that he was spending time with another girl behind my back. He admitted to it, and I immediately ended things. Of course, I felt completely wounded and foolish. It was only a few weeks later that I learned that girl he'd been hooking up with was none other than one of my closest friends. I was extremely hurt, and my initial feelings of embarrassment were only multiplied — I was played a fool by my boyfriend and my friend. By the time I talked her again, I was already settled into college life and had emotionally moved on from my ex. She wanted things to go back to the way they were, but in my mind our friendship was over. Now seven years later, she contacted me via email out of nowhere. It turns out she heard from a friend that we are both living in the same city. As a recent transplant, she doesn't know anyone and she's looking for friendship. Of course her email doesn't acknowledge anything about what happened before, but it was the first thing I thought of. I don't care about what happened seven years ago, but what she did then makes me question who she is now. Should I forgive her past actions and become friends again? Or is she not worth my time? Source

Sunday Confessional: She Stabbed Me in the Back

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Sunday Confessional: He Took Advantage of Our Time Apart

DearSugar — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I was with my boyfriend for about nine months when circumstances forced me to move in with him for a couple of months. At first things were OK, but within a few weeks I noticed a huge change. He didn't come straight home from work to be with me and he always found a reason to spend time with friends. By the time I found a place and began the moving out process, we had hit a full-blown rough patch. I think he was resentful that I was living with him, and I was resentful of the way he took it out on me. In the end we decided to take a break. Even though it felt like the right decision, I was devastated that it had come to this — we had been such a happy couple. During our break, we talked every once in a while, but we never got intimate. Finally he came back to me, saying that he realized his role in everything and wanted to make things work. Together we decided to rebuild things. It's been about five months and things have been much better, until last week when a friend confided in me that during the time we were separated, my boyfriend was having sex with his ex-girlfriend. My boyfriend's excuse is that we were "on a break," a la Ross and Rachel from Friends. I see it as emotional cheating; we took time apart to see if we could fix things, not to see if we wanted to meet other people. He claims he really does want to make this work, but now I feel conflicted about who he is. He thinks I'm overreacting, but am I? Should I just forgive him for taking advantage of our break? Source

Sunday Confessional: He Took Advantage of Our Time Apart

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: She Knew He Had Herpes and Didn't Tell Me

DearSugar — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Six months ago I started dating my girl friend's male roommate. At the time, my friend warned me that although her roommate was a good friend, he was a notoriously bad boyfriend. I explained to her that I just wanted to have fun, but she still acted weird about it. Five months in, I learned he was hanging out with a lot of other girls, so we decided to end things. I was disappointed it didn't work out, but I knew it wasn't meant to be. A few weeks ago I found out that I have genital herpes. I knew immediately it was from him — I've only been with one other guy who was also a virgin. I had asked him before we slept together if he had been tested, and he said he was totally clean. Obviously I was very upset by the news and confronted him. Naturally, he claimed that I must have picked it up from some other guy. When I came crying to my friend, she was extremely distressed by what he had said. Apparently, he had confided in her a long time ago that he had herpes, but asked her to keep it a secret. When I heard this I was furious. I know that they're good friends, but I couldn't believe she'd kept that from me when she knew I was sleeping with him! I feel beyond betrayed, but she says she "tried" to warn me. Is her omission of the truth forgivable? Source

Sunday Confessional: She Knew He Had Herpes and Didn't Tell Me

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: I Have Feelings For My Best Friend's Boyfriend

DearSugar — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I've been close with my best friend for nearly eight years. We were roommates in our freshman year of college, and have been practically inseparable ever since. About a year ago she started dating a guy whom we met through a friend of mine. At the time we both had a goofy crush on him, and when they started dating I was happy for her. But as their relationship developed, my feelings for him only grew. We all spend a lot of time together, and I've come to know him really well. I won't go into all the reasons why I feel such a connection with him, but my feelings are incredibly strong. It's gotten to the point where I can't be around them together without experiencing a lot of frustration and sadness. On the one hand, I'm glad my friend's happy, but on the other, I wish it was me. Though I would never compromise my friendship or their relationship by acting on my emotions, I still feel incredibly guilty for spending so much time thinking about my best friend's man, and even worse, secretly wishing things wouldn't work out for them. Can I be forgiven for these inappropriate feelings? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Have Feelings For My Best Friend's Boyfriend

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Sunday Confessional: I've Been Faking Orgasms Our Entire Relationship!

DearSugar — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for over five months. I'm very happy with where we are as couple except for one area: our sex life. My boyfriend just doesn't do it for me! I'm completely attracted to him, but his moves just don't get me to where I need to go. It's partially my fault; I've never communicated my likes and dislikes, instead, I've been faking orgasms (I know, I know) since day one. At first it was just a matter of not ruining the night, but after a while it would have just been too weird if I didn't (pretend) orgasm anymore. I guess I just figured it would work itself out, but it hasn't. So now, in all these months, I haven't had one real orgasm and I can't take it anymore! I am satisfied in every other way, and I want to make it work, but I can't even comprehend what his reaction might be if I tell him the truth. He's a kind man, but he's still very prideful. Do you think he could ever forgive me for this? Source

Sunday Confessional: I've Been Faking Orgasms Our Entire Relationship!

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Sunday Confessional: I Want to Leave Her

DearSugar — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My girlfriend and I are both 24 years old and have been together for nearly four years. Two years ago we were in a terrible car accident together. I was driving at the time, when an oncoming car swerved across our lane. I walked away with chronic back problems, but my girlfriend was critically injured. She spent two weeks in the hospital, where she had multiple surgeries to fix her broken arms and legs. She did eventually recover, but she has a very bad scar that runs the entire length of her face; she looks like a different person.At the time, I struggled with extensive amounts of guilt over what had happened to her. I did everything to be a good boyfriend while she recovered; I worked closely with her through her rehabilitation and was always there for her. Once she was doing better, we started focusing on our relationship again. We've been making it work, with ups and downs of course, but overall we've been happy. However, in the last couple months, I've found myself longing for something else. I care about my girlfriend deeply, and I think that we'll always have a connection, but I don't love her the same way I used to. Based on a few conversations, I know that my girlfriend and our families assume that we'll marry because of what's happened. I don't want to abandon her — she still copes daily with her appearance and physical pain — and I don't want to disappoint our families, but I'm just not sure that's what I want. Can I ever be forgiven if I walk away from this relationship? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Want to Leave Her

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Sunday Confessional: I Spread a Dirty Secret

DearSugar — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I'm close with my team at work; we often meet for happy hours and even get together on the weekends. About a year ago we hired a new girl who became fast friends with the whole group, including me. But a few months ago something in her changed. Now I find that she's increasingly competitive with me, but not in a professional sense. Instead, she's competitive when it comes to just about everything else. When I get gleeful about losing five pounds, she starts working out every day and comes in bragging about the 10 pounds she just lost. If I host a cocktail party at my house, within weeks she's planning her own and literally tallying the amount of people that comes to each. Most recently, she started flirting with a bartender that we see often whom she knows I have been pursuing. Needless to say, she drives me absolutely nuts — I feel like I'm in high school again!She also tends to drink way too much when we go out, and usually ends up sleeping with someone (it's been a coworker on more than one occasion). For whatever reason, she's inclined to confide in me about her sexual escapades so I usually know what everyone else on our team is just speculating about. Recently she told me that she slept with one of our biggest clients after a dinner meeting — a big no-no at our company. This time I was so fed up with her that I decided to spread it around the office. It felt satisfying at the time, but now her job's on the line. It's not like I made something up, but I still feel guilty that she might lose her job. Can I be forgiven for spreading her secret around? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Spread a Dirty Secret

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: He Walked Out of My Life, Now He Wants Back In

DearSugar — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I'm 29 years old and got out of a long-term relationship about eight months ago. My boyfriend and I had been together for three years and were planning on moving in together and getting engaged within the year. We had a very happy relationship, and I believed we were very much in love. Then out of the blue, he told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I was completely shocked, and told him that he was just feeling stressed out with the move and work, but that things would calm down soon. He insisted that he didn't think he loved me like I loved him, and then he just left. When I tried to call, he didn't answer, until finally I received an email from him saying he needed space and that I should stop contacting him. To say I was brokenhearted would be an understatement. Since then I have done the best I can to move on. Although I haven't started seriously seeing anyone, in the past couple of months I've actually flirted with guys and have started to feel like my old self. But a week ago my ex showed up. Desperate for closure, I agreed to meet with him. I expected a simple apology, but instead he begged for me to work things out with him. Apparently he had spent the last few months soul-searching and realized that he truly does want to be with me for the rest of his life. I still love him, and there's part of me that still wants to be with him, but I'm also unbelievably angry and I don't know what to do. Should I try to forgive him for breaking my heart and make this work? Source

Sunday Confessional: He Walked Out of My Life, Now He Wants Back In

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Sunday Confessional: I Ruined Her Wedding Dress

DearSugar — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Last weekend I was in my best friend's wedding. As her maid of honor, I took her wedding dress home with me for safe-keeping while she and her husband left from the reception straight to the airport for their honeymoon. The next night, feeling slightly down and a little goofy, I got the silly idea to try on her wedding dress. I admit it wasn't a smart idea but at the time I really meant no harm; I just wanted to see what I'd look like in it! I pranced around in it for a bit, but since my friend is a few sizes smaller than me, it was extremely tight and I had to take it off. Stupidly, when twisting my torso to unlatch it, I managed to rip the back seam. Completely panicked, I tried to get it off me as quickly as possible and ended up tearing a large portion of the bodice, which was hand-beaded! The upper portion of the dress is now destroyed, and I'm not sure it's even repairable.She gets back in a week, and I don't know how I'll bring myself to tell her. This dress was literally created just for her; she even gushed about passing it on to her future daughter. My guilt is overwhelming right now, and I'm terrified of how upset she'll be. Is there any way I can ever be forgiven for destroying one of her prized possessions? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Ruined Her Wedding Dress

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: I Exposed Her Secrets on My Blog

DearSugar — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I started a personal blog about a year ago as a way to keep track of my life post-college. In the beginning, it was more of a casual thing, but over time, and as I gained a few readers it became more serious. Friends and family knew about it, but I never really made it accessible for them. In fact, many of the people in the posts involve my closest friends and family members — though I've always given them pseudonyms. One friend in particular has had some bad months lately, and I often found myself blogging about her and her messy life. She's made a lot of poor decisions, and I think posting it on my blog was a way for me to talk through it without actually talking about it with anyone who might know her. Long story short, she recently discovered my site — I have no idea how — but she was enraged and deeply hurt. She feels that her trust has been violated, and that I've completely stabbed her in the back. And of course, she's upset by the opinions I have of her. She's cut me out of her life, and informed mutual friends about my blog, who have now also turned on me. I understand why she feels the way she does, but I never meant for anyone to find out. My personal life is a wreck now! It's like my diary has been exposed. I've pulled down my blog, and I want to make things right, but can I ever be forgiven?Source

Sunday Confessional: I Exposed Her Secrets on My Blog

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

True Confession — I Moved on in Record Speed

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."I got dumped by my fiancé a week ago. I thought he was off 'thinking' about our relationship and I held out hope that it wasn't over. But then I saw his dating profiles were updated and I realized that he'd moved on. That cleared the wool from my eyes, and only a few hours later, I hooked up with a previous friend with benefits. Man — sweaty sex is the best therapy ever! Can I be forgiven for moving on so quickly?"Source

True Confession — I Moved on in Record Speed

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: I Stood Up for My Friend, But Now I'm the Bad Guy

DearSugar — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My roommate, who also happens to be one of my closest friends, has been with her current boyfriend for just over six months. They're serious, and she even plans on moving in with him when our lease ends. He's a decent guy, and I know he loves my friend — I've gotten to know him really well because he's always at our house. But every time they go out together and drink, he starts to act insanely jealous. They end up fighting, leaving early, and it always sends my roommate into a torrent of tears. Needless to say, I'm the one trying to calm them both down or comfort my friend at the end of the night. And since I'm often out with them, it regularly ruins my night too. Once he sobers up, her boyfriend always apologizes for his behavior and suddenly all is right again. I've talked to her about it before and she agrees that his actions are unacceptable, yet nothing changes. Last weekend they were going out with some mutual friends, and to avoid one of their scenes, I stayed home. Later that night, they came home in usual fighting mode and I just hit my limit. I decided to confront her boyfriend about his behavior. He heard me out, so I felt like things went well, but within a few days I could tell my roommate was upset with me. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was extremely angry that instead of talking to her I decided to make her boyfriend feel uncomfortable; she even said I was being selfish! I think I did the right thing. Should I be forgiven for standing up for my friend? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Stood Up for My Friend, But Now I'm the Bad Guy

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

True Confession — Is It Wrong to Cuddle With Another Man While in a Relationship?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."When my boyfriend and I fight, I have a couple guy friends I can always call to come cuddle with me. I don't have any sexual feelings towards them, but if my boyfriend knew I did this he would be devastated yet I still continue to do it. Can I be forgiven for turning to other men for comfort?"Source

True Confession — Is It Wrong to Cuddle With Another Man While in a Relationship?

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: My Roommate's Been Having Sex in My Bed

DearSugar — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Since graduating from college, I've been living in a house with two other girls; we were all friends in school. There are only two bedrooms, and one of the girls has to sleep in an alcove off the living room — she pays far less rent. It's not an ideal situation, but it's what we can all afford. Luckily, I'm often gone on the weekends to see my boyfriend, so I can get away. However, recently upon getting home, I started getting the feeling that someone had been in my room. I'm fairly clean and organized, so I couldn't help but notice an extra glass of water on my bedside table and a pillow on the ground. I didn't want to accuse anyone of anything, so I kept my mouth shut. One day my roommate, who has the other bedroom in the house, approached me privately and told me that she was sure our other roommate was bringing guys over and having sex in my bed. Apparently she had heard certain noises coming from there on more than one occasion when I was gone and even saw one guy sneak out in the morning. Obviously this news both infuriated and disgusted me — I had been sleeping in those sheets! I've always felt bad for our roommate, since she has little space and just a futon mattress in the alcove, but I have a huge problem with her taking over my bed to sleep with some guy. I confronted her, and we had a huge fight. We're currently not speaking, and I want her out of the house. Only now, my other roommate is trying to convince me to just let it go. She doesn't want us to kick her out and she's tired of all the tension in the house. I don't want to be a drama queen, but I still feel totally disrespected and unnerved by the whole thing. Should I listen to my other roommate and forgive her? Or are my feelings justified? Source

Sunday Confessional: My Roommate's Been Having Sex in My Bed

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

True Confession — He Still Wants Me and I Like the Attention!

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."This guy I used to mess around with, that I haven't seen in four years, is begging me to send him pictures of myself in my underwear. Besides that the fact that I'm happily married now, I would never do it, but truth be told, it makes me feel pretty good that after four years, he still thinks about me and my 'perfect' body. Can I be forgiven for still smiling at his request?"If you have any naughty thoughts to confess, do it here!Source

True Confession — He Still Wants Me and I Like the Attention!

Forgive

Not forgive

Undecided — Please explain!

Sunday Confessional: I Was a Bad Friend, but I'm Ready to Make Amends

DearSugar — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A few years ago, I started a relationship with a very controlling and emotionally abusive man. Obviously this wasn't clear to me at the time, I just knew that I felt happy for the first time in what seemed like ages, and I truly believed that we were in love. My group of friends had immediate reservations about him — they saw something that I couldn't — and my feelings were hurt that they weren't being more supportive. In less than six months time, my entire world had started to revolve around him. He had begun to effectively convince me to cut off all ties with my friends. I stopped returning phone calls and socializing in any way; I still have heartbreaking emails from my friends begging me to call them. By the time I woke up and realized what was going on, I was too ashamed to call them and ask for help. It took me nearly a year and half to pull myself from that terrible relationship. After a lot of soul-searching, I've come to realize many of my flaws, and I'm ready to start over. My friends are everything to me and I know that it shouldn't have taken all of this for me to see that, but it did. Unfortunately, they want nothing to do with me. Most of them won't talk to me, and those who do are generally angry and full of resentment. I missed a lot of important things that happened to them, and I wasn't there for them when they needed me, but I'm ready to be there now. Is there any way that I can be forgiven for cutting them out of my life? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Was a Bad Friend, but I'm Ready to Make Amends

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: My Fiancé Thinks I'm a Virgin, but I'm Not

DearSugar — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My fiancé and I have been engaged for the past year and were together for a year before that. We were both 20 when we met, and within the first few weeks of our relationship my fiancé confided in me that he was a virgin and intended to be until he was married. He comes from a very religious and traditional family, and his values and morals are extremely important to him — one of the many reasons why I love him. I knew that there was something special between us, so I didn't think twice about having to hold off on sex. But when he went on to tell me that he needed to be with a woman who shared the same values, I panicked. Out of fear of losing him, I made a horrible error and lied about my own sexual history. I told him that I too was a virgin and wanted to wait until marriage, when in fact, I had had sex with two other guys. It's now two years later and just over a month away from our wedding. I know that my fiancé is nearly more excited for the wedding night than the actual wedding, and this secret is eating away at me. I love him more than words can describe. I don't want to disappoint him or hurt him; it will destroy him to find out about this. Can I ever be forgiven if I continue this secret and never tell him? Source

Sunday Confessional: My Fiancé Thinks I'm a Virgin, but I'm Not

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please share.

True Confession — I Want to Get Pregnant!

DearSugar — Wed, 28 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."I want another baby so badly, but my hubby won't budge. I want to pull an "oopsey" and forget to put in my Nuvaring this month but if I get pregnant that way, can I be forgiven?"Source

True Confession — I Want to Get Pregnant!

Forgive?

Not Forgive?

Undecided

Sunday Confessional: My Entire Family Lied to Me

DearSugar — Sun, 25 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I'm the baby of my family with two older sisters. My Parents have been married for 30 years, and we've all been very close my entire life. I won't go into the details, but I recently found out my mom was cheating on my dad. I was utterly devastated and immediately went to my sisters to seek comfort. Surprisingly, they didn't react the way I was expecting. I was full of anger, but they seemed to be more understanding. Eventually after a lot of prying and crying, they revealed that my father had an affair with some woman for nearly a decade. Apparently things had come out about five years ago when I was still in high school — I do remember a strange time during my junior year, but I didn't put things together. My sisters had talked about it with both my parents, but they had all decided not to tell me. Obviously my mom chose to stay, and I think the same will be said of my dad after this new turn in events, though apparently their relationship is more "open" then I realized.Ever since my sisters broke the news to me, I feel like everything I had ever thought about my family was the exact opposite. I can't believe that my parents were willing to put our family through this, and I'm terribly angry with my sisters for collaborating with them to keep this lie going for so long. I have never felt more naive and hurt. They've all tried to contact me, but I feel so much hate towards them right now, I just can't let them in. I don't know what to do. Should I try to learn to forget their terrible betrayal and forgive them? Source

Sunday Confessional: My Entire Family Lied to Me

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True Confession — I Turned Down a One Night Stand and Now I Regret It

DearSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."I don't think my boyfriend loves me anymore. Lately when I see him it's like we're just friends. I had the opportunity last week to have a one-night stand, and now I regret not taking it. Can I be forgiven for wishing I had cheated?"Source

True Confession — I Turned Down a One Night Stand and Now I Regret It

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Sunday Confessional: I Won't Experiment in Bed With Him

DearSugar — Sun, 18 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I have been in my current relationship for about a year, but I have known my boyfriend for four years. We were friends before getting together, and I actually knew him throughout my last relationship. During the time before we were together and after my last relationship, I jokingly, and perhaps teasingly, made references to the sex life with my ex, who was always convincing me to try something new. Once we got together I stopped discussing my sexual past; however, if he flat out asked me if I had done a particular sexual deed or position, I would tell him if I had. Basically, he knows more about my sexual history than I would like. We have a good sex life, but recently, he has been putting a lot of pressure on me to experiment with him in the bedroom because he knows that I've tried certain things before. I am happy to oblige with some of his requests, but others I am not interested in trying again. He assumes that since I was a willing participant with my last boyfriend, I should also be with him. I have tried to make it clear to him that just because I've done things before doesn't mean that I want to do them again, but he's really struggling with this. He is more hurt than angry; he feels like I must be less into him than my previous boyfriend. I feel terrible for making him think he's inadequate. I want to move past this, but I'm just not willing to try some of these things again. Can I be forgiven if I stand my ground on this or am I being selfish? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Won't Experiment in Bed With Him

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Sunday Confessional: I Interfered in a Friend's Love Life

DearSugar — Sun, 11 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A few months ago a very good friend of mine came to a party with me, which was being thrown by my boyfriend's friend. The host completely fell for my friend, and they have since started dating. I love her to death, but she has some real issues when it comes to men. To put it lightly, she's an awful girlfriend. She tends to attract men like crazy, dates them until they're completely enamored with her, and then proceeds to emotionally abuse them until finally she just stops calling. I have a lot of issues with this behavior and have expressed them to her many times to no avail.As soon as I could see things heating up between them, I decided that I had to say something to him — I really like him, and I know he's a sensitive guy. While I didn't go into my friend's relationship history, I did tell him that she had a tendency to treat men poorly and I advised him to stay away from her. Apparently, he decided to share my warning with my friend because a few days later, she showed up at my house in a complete rage. Now she's not speaking to me, and my boyfriend is mad at me for creating tension between him and his friend. I’m suffering serious anxiety over the situation. I truly wasn’t trying to be hurtful and I just don’t think what I did was that awful. I feel like they’re overreacting, but maybe I’m just being too naive. Should they forgive me for interfering? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Interfered in a Friend's Love Life

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Sunday Confessional: I Accused My Friend of Something She Didn't Do

DearSugar — Sun, 04 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A few months ago, my husband and I decided to separate with the intention of divorcing. We have many mutual friends including one girl who used to date one of my husband's best friends. They've since broken up, but I had become very close with her even though she's more than a decade younger than me. A couple weeks into our separation, my husband came to me and told me that this girl had tried to seduce him. He gave a very convincing account, and I was shocked and felt terribly betrayed.But I didn't handle my feelings properly, and instead, I began to attack her via nasty text messages and comments on MySpace. I even convinced some of our mutual friends to completely cut her off. A few days ago one of my husband's male friends came to me in confidence and told me that his admission about my friend hitting on him was a lie that he made up to protect himself. The fact is that as soon as we separated, he headed to her house and tried to seduce her. When she turned him down, he fabricated the other story before she could get back to me and tell me what really happened. At first I didn't want to believe his friend, but I knew in my gut that it was true. I confronted my husband and he confirmed it. I've now tried to contact my friend and apologize, but she'll have nothing to do with me. I realize that I acted fairly immature, and should have talked to her about it before resorting to such mean and hurtful tactics, but I was completely convinced by my soon to be ex-husband. I know we may never be friends again, but the guilt of what I did is still eating away at me. Can I ever be forgiven for my attacks and accusations? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Accused My Friend of Something She Didn't Do

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