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You Asked: My Boyfriend Is Too Affectionate With My Friends

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating just shy of two years. He is a hugger, he hugs friends and family, and I have no problem with it, it's actually something I love about him, however what I do not like is that once he gets acquainted with my girlfriends, he kisses them on the lips! It makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I'm not sure what to do. Some of my friends don't allow this and will turn their heads so he kisses their check, which makes me feel even more awkward. I did at one time tell him this was not something I felt comfortable with and I hoped that would be that, but that was six months ago! What should I do? — He's Too Affectionate Amanda

To see DearSugar's answer,

Where Do You Stand: Kissing Guy Friends on the Lips

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

I am all for being friendly and affectionate, but I have my limits. I think it's sweet and appropriate to hug and kiss my family and friends on the cheek, but never on the lips. I save that kind of intimacy for the guy I'm in a relationship with.

What about you? When you see your guy friends, do you kiss them hello on the lips? Is it just a friendly way to greet, or do you think lip-to-lip contact should be reserved for the special man in your life?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Open Your Eyes During Sex?

DearSugar — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Sex, and everything that leads up to it, is really the closest you can possibly be to another person. And since more than half of you — 65 percent to be exact — prefer to kiss with your eyes shut, I thought I'd ask you the same question in relation to making love. Like kissing, I think most people's initial reaction is to close their eyes, but seeing the way your partner looks in the heat of passion can make for an even deeper level of intimacy, not to mention making the sex all the more sensual! So do you keep your eyes open or closed while doing the deed?Source

Dear Poll: Do You Open Your Eyes During Sex?

Open — I love looking at my partner while we're making love.

Closed — It's just second nature to close my eyes.

It depends on the kind of sex we are having!

Other — I'll explain below.

My 10 Favorite Makeout Songs

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Listening to music can be an incredibly sensual experience, so it's no wonder it pairs so well with a hot and steamy makeout session. In fact, just the experience of creating the perfect lip-smacking playlist can be a turn on in itself. So here's my own personal list of the top 10 makeout session songs!

"Crash Into Me," Dave Matthews Band
"Wicked Game," Chris Isaak
"Sexual Healing," Marvin Gaye
"Untitled" (How Does It Feel)," D'Angelo
"In Your Eyes," Peter Gabriel

To see the last five and add your own,

Dear Poll: Does PDA Make You Uncomfortable?

DearSugar — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Even if you think PDA is a good idea, there's a time and a place for it. When you're the touchy-feely couple in question, chances are you're too smitten to even notice, but you could indeed be offending those around you. I, for one, am totally OK with witnessing a couple embrace or share a passionate kiss, but anything beyond that just makes me uncomfortable; like I shouldn't be looking! Sure, I could just turn away, but sometimes there's no where to run! I have a feeling we've all been there so how do you feel about PDA? Are you usually guilty of this crime, or does it make you feel awkward, too? Source

Dear Poll: Does PDA Make You Uncomfortable?

Yes, I feel extremely uncomfortable witnessing PDA. Get a room for crying out loud!

A little goes a long way. I'm OK with a kiss here and there, but full on making out is a big no-no.

No, I don't really mind it actually.

Other — Please share below.

Dear Quiz: Pucker Up!

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0700

I just love kissing, don't you? It can be a sweet, familiar peck to greet a family member or an intimate and sexy, passionate kiss between lovers. Whatever it is, it always makes me feel closer to someone. To learn a little more about this particularly fun activity, take the quiz below!

Source

Handle This: You Catch Him Kissing Someone Else

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

After a lot of back and forth on your part, you decide that you're not ready to be completely exclusive with the guy you've been seeing. Instead, you both decide to keep things how they are and continue to just date each other. Things are going well, until you’re both invited to a mutual friend’s engagement party.

As soon as you get to the party, both of you proceed to drink far too much and before you know it, you’ve lost track of your man. The next time you see him kissing a girl who you recognize as a friend of a friend. You want to scream at both of them, but you also feel like you don't have the right to, so how do you handle this?

Source

Handle This: Getting It on in Front of You

DearSugar — Fri, 23 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

A friend invites you out with her boyfriend because she misses you. Even though you hate to be a third wheel, you agree to go because you’re trying to be a good friend. At first things are fine, but as the night wears on, your friend and her man keep getting more and more physical. If he's not brushing his fingers over her neck and chest, then she's running her hands through his hair.

The excessive PDA is getting old, and you go the bathroom to get it away from it for a while. You’re sure it can’t get much worse, but when you get back to the table, they’re fully groping each other and making out. You're totally grossed out, but you feel uncomfortable interrupting them, so how do you handle this?

Source

Dear Poll: When Was Your Last Hickey?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:30:52 -0700

Even in high school when getting a hickey was like wearing a badge of honor, I didn't like them. I love a steamy makeout session as much as the next girl, but not only do I find bruising unsexy, but I just don't really enjoy being nibbled on like that! Needless to say, I was totally shocked when my friend had one peeking out by her collarbone just the other day. I know she’s dating someone new, but still, I thought once you reach a certain age, hickeys were a thing of the past. I know I can’t remember the last time I had one, but when was the last time you were sporting a hickey?Source

Dear Poll: When Was Your Last Hickey?

Within the last month.

Sometime in the past year.

Not since high school.

I can’t remember either.

Never!

Dear Poll: How Often Do You Say "I Love You" to Your BF?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Just as some couples can’t keep their hands off each other and others save the physical affection for the bedroom, the same is true when it comes to saying “I love you.”Even though every couple may be in love, the expression of those feelings is different for everyone. Some of us like to say "I love you" every time we talk to our significant other, while others say it few and far between. Of course there is no right way, so tell me ladies, how often do you say, “I love you”?Source

Dear Poll: How Often Do You Say "I Love You" to Your BF?

Too many times a day to count!

At the very least, once a day.

A few times over the course of a week.

We save it for special occasions.

Other — please share below

This or That: He Won't Kiss You or He Won't Make Eye Contact?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Your new boyfriend is amazing. He's everything you’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend and he’s a ton of fun, too. In fact, sexually speaking, you’re having the time of your life — and you haven’t even had sex yet! When the time finally comes, you’re both excited and nervous, but you end up feeling more than a little discouraged by the time it’s over. Would it be worse if he . . .This: Refuses to look you in the eye during and after sex? You even physically used your hands to move his head directly in front of yours, and he still averted his eyes. Or . . .That: Won’t kiss you? The worst part is that when you went to kiss him, his lips didn’t respond at all and it was completely awkward. Which would be worse?Source

This or That: He Won't Kiss You or He Won't Make Eye Contact?

This — He'd rather look at the wall than your face.

That — His lips refuse to touch yours.

Dear Poll: What's More Sensual? Hands or Lips?

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Being touched is a great thing, but the right touch can be absolutely amazing. We know that our body is covered with nerve endings and erogenous zones, which when touched, can send electric bolts of sensation right through us. So let me ask you this, when you’re getting frisky, is it more sensual to be touched by lips or by hands? Source

Dear Poll: What's More Sensual? Hands or Lips?

Lips! They’re so smooth; the feeling of a kiss anywhere is amazing!

Hands! They can be gentle or rough!

Undecided — They’re both so good, I just can’t choose.

Do Tell: What Do You Miss Most About Just Dating?

DearSugar — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

As we all know, the beginning of a blossoming relationship is exhilarating and the courting period is what makes every day one to look forward to. But once couples get comfortable with each other, that initial fire dwindles and your relationship turns a new leaf. Now I'm not saying that taking that next step in the romance department is a bad thing, but many people do miss what the beginning entails: you know the passionate kisses, the butterflies in your stomach and the over the top dates! So ladies, if you're currently in that comfortable place in your relationship, what do you miss about just dating?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Kiss Hello?

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:00:48 -0700

A lot of people in my social circle follow the European style of greeting each other with two hello kisses. In some groups, only men and women greet each other this way, while other times, women just kiss hello with their girlfriends. Some people are just uncomfortable with the whole idea. What about you?Source

Dear Poll: Do You Kiss Hello?

Yes! I kiss hello whenever it's appropriate.

Sometimes — It depends on who I'm greeting.

Rarely — Only when everyone else is doing it.

No, it makes me uncomfortable.

Other — Please share!

Syphilis Rates on the Rise

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0700

There's been a lot of talk about STIs in the news lately, and unfortunately there's more. Studies from the US Centers For Disease Control and Prevention have shown that syphilis rates have increased for the seventh year in a row. There are 3.7 cases of this STI per 100,000 people.

Why is this such bad news? Although syphilis is a bacterial STI that can be treated with antibiotics, having syphilis can increase a person's risk for contracting and passing HIV.
What's worse is that the FDA says that when it comes to protection, condoms seem less effective against syphilis. Why? Because this STI is transmitted through minor cuts or abrasions in your skin or mucous membranes. Having sex with someone who has syphilis is a common way to get it yourself, but it can also be passed on through oral sex or regular kissing (scary, I know).

Dear's Advice: I know this probably makes you never want to go on a date again, but it's not the end of the world. The best thing to do is get tested with your partner for all STIs before becoming intimate (even before making out). If your partner doesn't understand and won't do it, you might want to reconsider your relationship.

Source

A Do or a Don't: Kissing on the Lips

DearSugar — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I have a male friend that kisses on the lips every time he greets his friends. He is happily married with kids, so I know he does it out of pure friendship, but it makes me very uncomfortable each and every time. I'm all for kisses on the cheek, but when someone you're not intimate with leans in for a wet one on the lips, I have to say I squirm! Since I'm sure he's not the only one who practices this form of salutation, tell me, do you think kissing on the lips when saying hello or goodbye is a do or a don't?Source

A Do or a Don't: Kissing on the Lips

A Do — A platonic kiss on the lips doesn't bother me at all.

A Don't — I think kissing on the lips is just inappropriate unless you're dating.

I only kiss family members on the lips, not friends and especially not married friends!

Other — I'll tell you below in comments.

A Do or a Don't: Kissing on a First Date

DearSugar — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:00:00 -0800

Call me easy, but I think kissing on a first date is important — you can tell if you have any chemistry and get a feel for your partner's level of passion. With that said, I have friends that completely disagree with me — they feel a kiss should be saved for someone you really like, not shared with someone you went on a mediocre date with. So where do you stand? Is kissing on a first date a do or a don't in your eyes?Source

A Do or a Don't: Kissing on a First Date

A Do: If this kiss is bad, it's a tell-tale sign of what's to come, so I'd rather know sooner than later.

A Don't: I like to build the sexual tension and then kiss! It makes it so much better!

It totally depends on the person.

Other — Please share!

This or That: Sloppy Kiss or Angry Orgasm?

DearSugar — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 10:00:00 -0800

You've been broadening your horizons when it comes to the guys you date because everyone says you're too picky. Things have been going better than you would have expected on your second date with a guy that you met through a friend. You actually end up back at his apartment one night, just talking, and as you guys begin to connect more, things start to get steamy. You encounter a Charlotte from Sex and the City moment when he pulls out a surprise move. Would it be worse if . . .This: Just as the make-out session was getting more intense, he started to rotate between trusting his tongue to the farthest corners of your throat and licking your face? Or . . .That: You end up in an awesome sex session, but just as he's orgasming, he starts screaming and shouting expletives that would make even Samantha blush?Source

This or That: Sloppy Kiss or Angry Orgasm?

This — Well, his moves definitely get you wet.

That — Satisfaction never sounded more vulgar.

News to Me: Kissing and Chemistry

DearSugar — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 10:00:00 -0800

You know how after a first kiss, your friends ask you if there was any chemistry? Well, it turns out that question is right on the money. According to a recent article in Scientific American, there are multiple chemical reactions that occur when we kiss, which affect all sorts of emotional responses including bonding, stress levels, attraction, compatibility, and of course, sexual arousal.
Perhaps the most interesting point the article makes, is this:

The researchers found an unusual flurry of activity in two brain regions that govern pleasure, motivation, and reward. . . . Addictive drugs such as cocaine similarly stimulate these reward centers, through the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Love, it seems, is a kind of drug for us humans.

I knew there was a reason that I love foreplay — I'm hooked on kissing. The article also mentions that a first kiss is an indicator of genetic compatibility with a mate. It rings true for me, but how about you? Has a kiss ever influenced your attraction to someone?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Kiss With Your Eyes Open?

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:00:00 -0800

I am a huge advocate of kissing. I feel like kissing is the most intimate thing you can do with your significant other. There are many different ways to kiss but when you lean in for a smooch, is it second nature for you to close your eyes? I think it is for most people, but there's something very special about making eye contact with the person you're locking lips with — it makes the kiss all the more deep and sensual. Do you agree? Ladies, what I want to know is, do you like to kiss your beau with your eyes open or closed? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Kiss With Your Eyes Open?

Open — I like to gaze into my man's eyes when I kiss him, it's so much more romantic than keeping them closed.

Closed — I think it's kind of creepy to kiss with your eyes open. Sometimes he makes funny faces, which can be a turnoff!

Other — Please explain

Dear Poll: How Many First Kisses Did You Have in '07?

DearSugar — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:00:00 -0800

If you're single, I'm sure you've met your fair share of men this year. The fun part about being unattached is testing out the merchandise, if you will, before buying the goods. Since we all know you have to kiss many frogs before finding your prince, be honest ladies: Were you a kissing bandit this year? If so, approximately how many first kisses did you have in 2007?Source

Dear Poll: How Many First Kisses Did You Have in '07?

None!

1 to 10

10 to 15

15 to 25

More than 25

I was the kissing bandit this year, so I've kissed more people than I can even count!

Kissing Quiz

DearSugar — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Making out on the couch is a wonderful way to spend an evening.

We all know it's fun, it relieves stress, and helps us express our feelings for someone, but what else do you know about kissing? Take this quiz to find out.

Source

Do You Ever Just Make Out Anymore?

DearSugar — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:00:00 -0800

I assume that since you are a Dear Sugar reader, you have a few relationships under your belt. I'm sure we've all gotten through the awkward and exciting experience of going from first base to all the way to home.

While going all the way is great, it seems like after you've done the deed for the first time, every time you get intimate after that it always leads to sex. You start off kissing and move onto other acts of foreplay, but it always ends up the same way. While I'd be happy with that outcome most of the time, whatever happened to good-old makeout sessions? I have such fond memories of French kissing on a guy's couch for hours and leaving it at that. It was so much fun, so exciting, and so innocent.

So I was wondering if you guys ever just make out anymore? Do you think it's possible to stick to first base after you've already hit a home run in the relationship? Or do you think that kissing always leads sex?

Source

Do Tell: How Many Men Have You Dated at the Same Time?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0800

You've heard me say, on numerous occasions, that you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince, and in a previous poll, 54 percent of you agreed that dating multiple people at once is a good idea. Why waste time, right? While I've never felt comfortable seeing more than one person at a time, let me live vicariously through you. Ladies, do tell: How many people have you dated at the same time?

Source

You Asked: I Kissed Someone Off Limits — Now What?

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have a dilemma! I'm a college student, and one of my closest friends here has had a major crush on one of our mutual friends. Though she's liked him for two years, and though they've kissed once before, they're still just friends. Interestingly enough, I have also had a slight crush on him over the years, but nothing close to the intensity of her attraction. I just labeled him in the "off-limits" category because your friend's crushes can never be yours!

Well, the other night, I was dancing with him at a club, and he kissed me. I didn't pull back immediately, but I did stop the kiss ... eventually. Being one of the few friends here that she confides in about her feelings for him, I feel very guilty. To make matters worse, we all live in the same college residence and run into each other often. I haven't seen or spoken to him since (this happened about four days ago). Should I tell my friend what I did? Or should I live with my guilt knowing that telling her will only make her feel awful? — I Messed up Missy

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Are You Into Quickies?

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I love the idea of a quick romp between the sheets. An impromptu noon-er with your man sounds pretty spontaneous, exciting, sexy, and hot, doesn't it?

The only thing is that a guy can usually orgasm in three minutes or less, especially when he's super-excited, but it can take a girl much longer to climax. There is no foreplay when it comes to quickies, just pure fast, passionate lustful sex. So there may not be a huge explosive bang at the end for the girl, but who cares? They're still fun!

What do you think about quickies? Are you into them, or are you more into slow lovemaking sessions instead? Do you have any memorable quickie experiences you want to share? I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'd love to live vicariously through you!

Source

You Asked: How Can I Make him be More Affectionate?

DearSugar — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I have a great boyfriend, who I've been with for almost 1 year. He's a great guy, and we always have a great time together. There's just one thing that bothers me....he is not a passionate guy, or passionate enough to display affection in public. I like PDA, such as kissing in public, or caressing his back. However, he's pretty uptight about it. Once, while we were waiting in line in a clothing store, I put my hand on his butt, and just started to touch it casually, not in an erotic way. He immediately grabbed my hand and put it on his waist, apparently he didn't like my touching in public. I think PDA is a cute way to show your love to the world, while he think it's embarrassing and inappropriate. What should I do? Should I accept it as a fact, as his personality, or should I move on to find a guy who's more passionate and not afraid of showing love to others?

--I Need Passion Pam

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Poll: Do you Kiss on the First Date?

DearSugar — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 14:45:00 -0700

Whether you're on a one on one date or a group date, usually the night will end with a good night kiss. I personally think a kiss is extremely telling about a person's character and soul, but some women don't think kissing on the first date is a good idea. So what I want to know is, do you typically kiss on a first date? Source

Dear Poll: Do you Kiss on the First Date?

Yes: I want to know if there is chemistry from the get go

No: The first date is too soon to be physical with someone

Other: Please share!