DearSugar -- Just ask.

Handle This: His Friend Is Draining Your Relationship

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?

Your live-in boyfriend's best friend just called off his engagement and is crushed. In an attempt to lift his friend's spirits, your boyfriend has been inviting him over a lot in addition to them hitting the town together. He has become a good friend of yours as well so you don't mind his company every once in a while, but having a third wheel around all the time is starting to affect your relationship — you can't remember the last time you had a night alone together.

You're glad his friend has the support of your boyfriend, but you're missing the intimacy of your relationship. You don't want to sound like a needy girlfriend, especially since his friend really needs the support right now, so how would you handle this?

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: I'm a Punished Bridesmaid!

DearSugar — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Being Punished Betsy need your help. She's a bridesmaid in her cousin's wedding and the bride doesn't want her to bring a date. She feels like she's being punished because she's not in a serious relationship, so what should she do since she doesn't want to go alone?

Dear Sugar,
My cousin is getting married in the Spring; she's a month older than me and we've been raised almost like sisters. I'm in the bridal party and am flying in with my parents from out of town. I want my best friend (he's gay) to be my date for the wedding, but when I asked her, she said that she "really needs me to be there for her 100 percent," even though her sister is the maid of honor and she has four other bridesmaids. We had this conversation several months ago but I didn't tell my friend that my cousin said no because he wasn't sure if he would be able to come anyway.

He just told me today that he is free that weekend and that he'd love to be my date. The more I think about it the more I feel that I should be able to bring someone. If I were to get married next year and had my cousin in my wedding, it would be understood that she could bring her husband the same way it would be understood that my friend would come if he was my boyfriend.

My parents love him so I know that if I were to be busy or preoccupied with helping her or doing something for the wedding, he'd be OK — he's a big social butterfly as it is — so I don't understand what the big deal is. I get that my cousin wants this opportunity to have the spotlight, (as she should ) but is asking to bring a date an unreasonable request? I feel as though I'm being punished for being single! I don't want to cause problems before her special day but I truly don't want to go stag. What should I do? — Being Punished Betsy

Source

Dear Poll: Are Most of Your Friends Single or in a Relationship?

DearSugar — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Life seems to have a peculiar ebb and flow when it comes to love. Sometimes it's as if everyone I know is either in a serious relationship or on their way to one, while at other times everyone seems to be on the brink of breaking up and doing the single thing. What does it look like in your social scene right now?Source

Dear Poll: Are Most of Your Friends Single or in a Relationship?

Most of my friends are totally taken!

Lots of singles!

Actually, it’s pretty even.

It changes so often, it’s impossible to say.

Other

For People Who Struggle With Being Single, What Advice Do You Have?

DearSugar — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Life is a learning process, and the things we learn when we’re on our own are the same things we take with us into a relationship. Likewise, the things we come to know about ourselves after we’ve been with someone could have been extremely useful to know back when we were single. You can’t go backward, but wouldn’t it at least be great to share with your past self some of the things you’ve learned in the dating game? Since we can't, we might as well share our advice with the women who can use it right now. So ladies, for those of you settled into relationships and those of you thrilled with your single status, what advice would you give to those women who would rather pass on the single life altogether?

Source

Do Tell: What's Your Best Comeback?

DearSugar — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Thanks to a wonderful suggestion from Looseseal, I'm here to give you all a chance to share your comebacks for the most frustrating question asked when you're single: Why don't you have a boyfriend? Not only does that question put us on the spot, but no answer ever seems good enough when the reality is just that we haven't met the right person yet! So ladies, have at it and tell me how you respond to such questions.

Source

Five Single Women to Admire

DearSugar — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

In this media-driven world, I'm always so grateful to find famous women worthy of their accolades. As women, we know that success comes in all sorts of different packages, so in honor of Singles Week, I've picked five unwed women who embody many things I look for in a role model. Regardless of what your relationship status is, these ladies are still inspirational, so check them out! Source

Dear Poll: Do You Like Being Single?

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

There was a time when negative connotations surrounded being single, but today with movies like Sex and the City booming at the box office, it's clear that there's a new image of the single woman. A woman who can take on the world, man or not. While it's promising to see that being single is finally being acknowledged as a choice, it's true that we still live in a society that values partnership. The looming pressure of finding a partner can negate the joys of being totally solo. So for those of you who are currently single (or once were!), I want to know how you fare in this complicated world, so tell me, do you truly enjoy being single? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Like Being Single?

I love it! It's so much fun.

I definitely enjoy it, but I'm looking forward to settling down, too.

I think it's a total drag.

Other — please share below!

Five Great Things About Being Single!

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Being single has its ups and downs, but today, in the spirit of kicking off our coverage of National Singles Week, I thought it would fun to embrace our single-hood!
Sometimes you don't miss something until it's gone so make sure you don't forget these five great things about being single. As always, let me know what I've missed! Source

What City Do You Think Has the Best Looking People?

DearSugar — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:00:00 -0700

According to an online poll taken by Travel +Leisure magazine, Miami residents are the most attractive in the US. As someone who's visited there, I can see why! Philadelphia came in last at number 25, with New Orleans as a close runner-up. When looking at the correlation between good-looking people and singles, you might be pleasantly surprised — seems like there are a lot of pretty single people out there, especially in San Francisco and Texas. To see the complete list and rankings of America's most attractive cities, click here.

The notion of a specific place having more good-looking people than another is kind of funny, but it's so true! When ever I travel to New York or Los Angeles, there's someone beautiful to look at everywhere you turn. In my opinion, the best-looking people reside in the Big Apple, but what about you? What city do you think houses the best-looking people?

Source

When It Comes to Being Single, Some Cities Are Better Than Others

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Late last week, Forbes revealed its list of best cities for singles, and I'll admit, I found some of them a bit surprising. To properly rank each city, surveyors examined six different categories including nightlife, living costs, and percentage of singles. The article explains:

[Forbes] rankings are meant to be a guide for young, ambitious singles who, in an age of techno-mobility, can live and work wherever they want. Our methodology focuses on career-minded, "never-marrieds" under the age of 35.

Chances are you're not about to move to a city simply for its dating potential, but I still think it's fun to find out where your city ranks. Check out the top 20 below and see if any cities surprise you.

Atlanta, Georgia
San Francisco, California
Dallas, Texas
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Washington DC
Seattle, Washington
Boston, Massachusetts
New York City
Orlando, Florida
Phoenix, Arizona

To see the remaining 10, just

Dear Read: How to Be Single

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Recently I picked up Liz Tuccillo’s, co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You, fiction debut How to Be Single. I loved the former, and the title of Tuccillo’s new book intrigued me. It was a complete impulse buy, but I’m glad I went for it because even though I didn’t love the book like I did He’s Just Not That Into You, it did bring up some very interesting points.

The story follows the narrator, Julie, on her travels around the world while she researches single women in every culture. Interwoven with Julie’s quest is her four single friends back home, succeeding and failing with their own journeys. It’s rife with stereotypes, but in many ways, I think the struggles are relatable to many single women.

In fact, the novel opens by confronting the burning question often asked of single people: Why are you single? I have many single friends who dread such a question; it seems to imply that there’s something wrong with them. You’ll have to read the book to find out what Tuccillo’s answer is, but for now, I’ll ask you. What’s your advice for how to be single? And how do you respond when someone has the nerve to ask you why you are?

Source

Where Do You Stand: Men That Refer to You With Pet Names

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Calling your significant other by a pet name is a cute term of endearment, but it makes my skin crawl when a guy calls me hot stuff, sweetie, darling, or baby when we're not in a relationship! I'm sure they mean no harm by it, but when they reuse those nicknames with more than one woman at a time, they lose their value and become way too contrived. Of course, this is just my opinion so tell me where you stand on men that aren't your boyfriends calling you pet names. Does it make you feel special or do you find it way too phony and cheesy?

Source

You Asked: How Can I Balance a Social Life With Being a Mom?

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm a 23-year-old single mom who has decided to start dating after the end of a seven-year relationship with the only man I've ever been with. I'm trying to figure out how to balance between my love life and taking care of my 2-month-old baby. I've barely gone out since she was born. We've spent so much wonderful, quality time together, and I don't want to sacrifice any of that for my own selfish desires. Do you have any advice for balancing the two?

— Balancing Baby Life Lillian

To see DearSugar's answer,

You Asked: I'm Another Girl With the Same Old Question

DearSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I am a long time reader and a first time poster and my question for you is what am I doing wrong? I am a smart, pretty girl and just turned 31, but all through this time I have never had a boyfriend. I have joined some associations and I'm outgoing and funny, but every relationship I start ends in friendship. I've tried Internet dating and now my last effort is for a professional matchmaker. I am getting a bit tired of always being single. Can you help? — Boyfriend-less Becky

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Poll: Do You Prefer to Hang With Other Couples?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

As a relationship progresses, it’s likely that there will eventually come a time when you’re with your boyfriend more than you’re apart from him. And even though you might love spending time with your single friends, it’s sometimes easier to hang out with other couples — you get your girl time while simultaneously hanging with your boyfriend, who’s also totally entertained. Though it’s important to spend time with all your friends regardless of their relationship status, tell me ladies, when you’re taken, do you prefer spending time with other couples?Source

Dear Poll: Do You Prefer to Hang With Other Couples?

Yes — I love my single friends, but it's just easier to hang out with other couples.

No — I get sick of the whole double-dating thing; I love just being with the girls.

I don't care either way. All that matters is that I'm with my friends.

Other — I'll explain below

Things You Forget When You're Single

DearSugar — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

The saying “the grass is always greener” couldn’t be more true. It’s just so easy to glamorize what we don’t have, especially when it comes to relationships. When you’re taken, it suddenly feels like everyone is living la vida loca, and when you’re single, all the negative that comes with being in a relationship magically disappears. But the truth is, just because you’re glamorizing something doesn’t actually make it more glamorous, so I thought I’d put together a list to remind the single folks what they’re not missing! To check it out,

This or That: Lackluster Romance or Long-Term Singlehood?

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

After getting out of string of very passionate, but brief relationships, you end up enjoying your time being single. But after a while, you start to get bored and kind of lonely. You know you’re still young, but while all of your friends are off getting engaged, you suddenly have a vision of yourself as a crazy cat lady in 30 years. Would it be worse if . . .This: You end up single late in life — but not forever? You definitely get to know yourself better than you ever thought possible, but there are some tough years.Or…That: You start dating a new guy, who’s very sweet, but you just don’t feel passionate with him? He's a nice guy so you decide to make it work, but the chemistry never shows up. Which is worse?

This or That: Lackluster Romance or Long-Term Singlehood?

This — You find love, but not until you should be a grandmother.

That — You’ve got a wonderful man, but you’re not crazy about him.

Dear Poll: Do You Ever Lie About Your Relationship Status?

DearSugar — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I have definitely warded off an approaching jerk by mentioning a fictional boyfriend. But that’s about the only time I’ll blatantly lie about my relationship status. One of my friends always lies to her grandparents and tells them she’s dating when she’s not to avoid their constant pressure. And of course, there are many people, unfortunately, who gladly lie about being in a relationship in order to appear single. So tell me ladies, do you ever lie about your relationship status? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Ever Lie About Your Relationship Status?

No, I’ve never done this.

Only when it comes to getting rid of a guy I’m not interested in.

I do this often.

Other — I'll explain below.

Dear Poll: Do You Groom Down There When You're Single?

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Women take bikini waxing very seriously. Even if there's just one hair that shouldn't be there, we somehow manage to find it, especially during bikini season or when we have a boyfriend. But what about when you're single? Sure, some women are just as neurotic when they're unattached, but others use their single status as an excuse to skip out on tending to their bikini lines altogether. So where do you fall? Do you still groom down there when you're single?

Dear Poll: Do You Groom Down There When You're Single?

Yes — You just never know what could happen at any given moment!

No — I like to take breaks from female grooming when I'm single. It saves me a lot of time and money, too!

Other — I'll explain below

Do Tell: What Do You Do When You're Home Alone?

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0800

When you're home alone, do you do the same things that you'd do if your boyfriend, husband, or sister was over? I've been home sick for the past few days and I've noticed that I definitely have my own secret single behaviors that are actually quite funny: I eat my favorite comfort foods, I set up shop on the couch and indulge in reality TV, I wear my most comfortable worn-in baggy sweat pants, and I soak in the tub until I turn into a prune! Now you all know my secret routine, so what's yours? Do tell ladies, what do you do when you're home alone?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Being Single on Valentine's Day

DearSugar — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0800

For those of you who are single on February 14, it can feel a lot more like Singles Awareness Day than Valentine’s Day. As if there weren’t already enough things making you feel inadequate for not being coupled off, along comes a holiday for couples. It can be disappointing to watch your roommates head out for dinner with their boyfriends or your coworker dish about the gift she thinks she’s getting, but there are ways to not only cope with your singlehood on Valentine’s Day, but enjoy it, too! To get the details,

Places to Meet Eligible Men

DearSugar — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 09:00:00 -0800

If you're not in a relationship, and you're looking to meet someone, I'm sure you've asked yourself "where are all the good guys?" It can feel really frustrating when you're on the dating scene and meeting a bunch of duds. Here's a list of places good men may be lurking:

At a bar - This may not be the most romantic way to meet a guy, but it's a great place to meet single men, who are also looking to meet single women. Drinking alcohol makes it easier for shy guys to approach you, and you can make dinner plans for another day if a guy sparks your interest.
At the gym - You can get a good look at a guy while he's working out (through the mirror without him knowing), and you'll know in advance that he cares about his health, which is a must.
At the grocery store - Hey you never know where cute guys will be! Keep your eyes open and you might find someone who has a knack for picking out avocados.

Want to see where else? Then

Dear Poll: Would You Wear a "Single" Ring?

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:10:42 -0800

When you're engaged or married, you might wear a ring that shows the world you're spoken for, but what about the single people? Couldn't single people wear a ring to declare that they're proud to be playing the field? Singelringen is a company that has developed a ring to do just that. Not only does this indicate your self-confidence about being unattached, but it also alerts single men that you're available and relationship free. Since there are so many people out there who don't wear a ring when they're engaged or married, I think it's a pretty genius idea. To all you single ladies out there, what I want to know is, would you be into wearing a ring that announces to the world that you're single and ready to mingle?Source

Dear Poll: Would You Wear a "Single" Ring?

Yes. I think it's a great way to announce that I'm available.

No. I don't think I would feel comfortable labeling myself like that.

Other: Please share!

What's the Worst Pick up Line you Have Ever Heard?

DearSugar — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 16:00:00 -0700

It seems like some men just don't know how to be subtle anymore. While I find confidence and assertiveness attractive, a presumptuous and overly cocky man just makes me cringe. After reading an article about the new VH1 show, "The Pick-Up Artist" it made me realize that the days of going out with your girlfriends, just to catch up without being bothered by men are long gone.

This new show teaches 8 unlucky in love men how to gain self confidence in order to turn the women of their dreams into the women of their reality. It's an eight week boot camp to compete for the title of "Master Pick-Up Artist" aided by Mystery, the head honcho, and his wing men, Matador and J Dog. While it seems pretty astonishing that some men have a difficult time mastering the art of the pick up line since it is second nature to oh so many, ladies, tell me, what is the worst pick up line you have ever been thrown?

Source

Dear Poll: Who do you Check out More?

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:00:00 -0700

In a previous poll, 51% of you said you dress for other women rather than men. So since it's pretty clear that you are dressed to impress for the same sex, who do you find yourself checking out more often when you're out to dinner, or walking down the street, shopping or at a bar -- men or women? Do you tend to look at other women to size up your competition first, or do you pay more attention to potential eligible bachelors? Source

Dear Poll: Who do you Check out More?

Men

Women

Other: Please share!

Dear Poll: Are you Happy Being Single?

DearSugar — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 14:45:00 -0700

Oprah recently reported that for the first time in history, there are more single women in America than married ones, 51% to be exact. Some women love their independent lifestyle while other women are working hard at finding their future husband or life partner. The stereotype of the single woman has changed dramatically over the years, so all you women out there, how do you feel about being single? Do you enjoy playing the field and not being tied down, or do you miss the constant companionship of a lover?Source

Dear Poll: Are you Happy Being Single?

Love It: I am having the best time of my life being free as a bird

Hate It: I am a dating machine and can't wait to find "the one"

Other: Please share!

Do Tell: What's your Secret Single Behavior?

DearSugar — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:30:00 -0700

Whether you are single or in a relationship, we all need our alone time. Having the freedom to watch whatever you want on TV or clean your house in the nude can be totally liberating. What we do behind closed doors speaks mouthfuls so ladies, do tell, what is your secret single behavior?

Source

You Don't Need Permission to . . .

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 09:00:00 -0800

. . . be comfortably and unapologetically single until you meet the right person

Source