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5 Tips For Being on Time

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Being late happens from time to time, but if it's your norm, it can make other people feel that their time isn't respected or valued. Since perpetual lateness can be irritating for those waiting for you, I've come up with five tips on how to be more punctual.

To check them out,

Handle This: She's Getting It on in Front of You

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

You and a close friend have made a trip back to your college town to visit a mutual friend for the weekend. Since the friend you're visiting is married with kids, you both opted to stay in a hotel instead of at her house, figuring if you shared a room, it wouldn’t be too expensive.

One night you all head out for drinks and end up running into an old male friend who used to go to college with all of you. You decide to call it a night on the early side, but your other friend is ready to party. You part ways with her, and she says she’ll see you in a few hours. Back at the hotel you fall asleep, only to wake up to some strange noises coming from your friend’s bed. It takes you a moment, but it suddenly clicks that she’s in the middle of having sex two feet away from you! How would you handle this?

Source

Sunday Confessional: I Got Too Comfortable With My Boyfriend's Dad

DearSugar — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been living together the past two years. Recently his parents visited from out of town to see my boyfriend and his two sisters. They were here for a few weeks, so the siblings decided to take turns hosting and showing them around. Since I've known them for some time now, we've grown quite close and I was looking forward to our time together. As it turned out, we hosted them at our house for the final leg of the trip, and even though we'd had a great time so far, I was stressed out and exhausted. One night, when trying to get dinner on the table for the entire group, my boyfriend's father came in to help me. The gesture was nice, but I just wanted to have the kitchen to myself. He wouldn't take no for an answer so I put him in charge of the salad. When I handed him the cucumber, he said he was sure my boyfriend was allergic to it. I assured him he wasn't and instead of believing me, he went in the other room and asked him. When he came back he said, "You're right. He's not allergic", I completely snapped, and replied, "I know. I already told you that, remember?!" My tone was very harsh, and I immediately felt terrible. I apologized, and he was gracious, but afterward, things were strained. Obviously I showed him a side he hadn't seen before — one I usually only have when dealing with my own parents. They're back home now, but I still feel awful, and I can't stop beating myself up for being so rude to my potential father-in-law. Can I be forgiven for my snippy comment? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Got Too Comfortable With My Boyfriend's Dad

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please share

Four Steps For Handling Hurtful Comments

DearSugar — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

There's nothing as rude and hurtful as a critical comment dressed as praise or a joke. The truth is no matter how they're brushed off, you know when someone's said something to intentionally put you down. Anger and embarrassment are natural reactions, but an article from November's O magazine offers some more productive ways of countering rude comments. I've summed up the four principles it mentions, so to see them just

Handle This: A Rude Encounter

DearSugar — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

On a night out with a girlfriend, you head to the local bar. When you get there, you make your way to an empty table to settle down and order some drinks. Not two minutes go by before a couple of girls come over and demand that you move because they were there first.

When you tell them that you didn’t see any glasses on the table or jackets hanging on the chairs, they get more heated. They're obviously drunk and now they’re getting up in your faces, which is making being the bigger person all the more difficult. So how would you handle this?

Source

Handle This: Your Ex's New Girlfriend Wants Information

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

After you broke up with your boyfriend you both kept in touch, and though you’re not close anymore, you’re still friendly. He recently started exclusively dating someone new who you actually know through a friend of a friend.

She’s a nice girl, and you have no hard feelings towards her, but you’re caught off-guard when you run into her and she immediately starts inquiring about your ex. She wants to know all sorts of personal details about his past including specifics about your relationship with him. You're speechless but that doesn't stop her from asking you to coffee so you can chat. It's an awkward situation to say the least so how do you handle this?

Source

Handle This: Your Ex Refuses to Acknowledge You

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:00:00 -0700

At a mutual friend’s going-away party, you encounter your ex and his new girlfriend, much to your surprise. Although you know the situation is invariably awkward, you decide to go out of your way to be friendly.

When standing with a group of friends, your ex comes up to introduce his girlfriend but conveniently skips over you — you can’t help but be offended. His refusal to acknowledge you has only served to make things more uncomfortable so how do you handle this?

Source

This or That: His Mom's a Diva or a Control Freak?

DearSugar — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

You knew your fiancé’s mom had issues, but since you’ve started wedding planning, you’ve really been able to see her true colors. Now you’re in direct contact with her multiple times a week without your fiancé as a buffer. Would it be worse if . . .This: She somehow manages to make every aspect of planning about her? You’ve spent more time helping her find a dress than focusing on your own wedding gown! When you call her out on it, she only gets more outlandish. Or . . . That: She’s completely taken over all of the planning? You feel like you don't have a say in your own wedding and when you try to make a suggestion, she tells you that she's already taken care of it.Source

This or That: His Mom's a Diva or a Control Freak?

This — It’s all about her.

That — It’s about you, but only as long as she approves it.

This or That: Your Neighbor Is a Stomper or a Bed Rocker?

DearSugar — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

You just moved into a new apartment, and while you used to live on the top floor, you’re now living right in the middle. You haven’t had many issues with the building as a whole, and you’ve never even seen or heard your downstairs neighbor, but it only takes a week for you to realize your upstairs neighbor may be a problem. Would if be worse if . . .This: All you hear when she’s home is the stomping of feet or the booming voices from her TV? Worse still, she seems to have a strange habit of watching TV in the middle of the night; the reverberations of infomercials keep you up. Or . . . That: She’s fairly quiet until she’s having loud and very kinky sex (in all rooms of the house)? You’d get over it more easily if it didn’t happen all week long!Source

This or That: Your Neighbor Is a Stomper or a Bed Rocker?

This — You can barely get a minute of silence.

That — You’re a little too intimate with her private life.

You Asked: Her Invite Has Me Confused

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My friend's wedding invitation arrived in the mail yesterday, and it was addressed to my name and "partner." My friends know that I'm not seeing anyone at the moment, yet they included this in my invite. As I don't want to go alone (I won't know anyone at the ceremony or party), do I just assume that this is giving me permission to bring a friend instead of a romantic date? Or would this be bad etiquette? I'm assuming that since they didn't specify a name and know that I'm not seeing anyone, that they took that into consideration when writing the invite. But I don't want to be rude. What should I do?

— Uncertain Cee Cee

To see DearSugar's answer,

This or That: Completely Late or a Terrible Dinner Date?

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Your parents are hosting a Sunday night dinner at their house to meet your boyfriend for the first time. You’re a mix of excitement and nerves, and you know that your parents’ expectations are high. Unfortunately, your boyfriend is coming from a weekend away so you haven’t seen him or done any of the obligatory meet-the-parents prep talk beforehand. Would it be worse if . . .This: He’s unbelievably late and doesn’t answer his phone when you call? You’re not sure whether to be worried or angry. He shows up an hour and a half late with dinner cold and only a mediocre excuse. Or . . .That: He’s right on time, even bearing a bottle of wine but then proceeds to be a rude dinner guest? He has zero manners and barely manages to answer a question with more than one word. Source

This or That: Completely Late or a Terrible Dinner Date?

This — He’s late, and you’re infuriated.

That — He has no manners and your parents have taken note.

Do Tell: What Inappropriate Questions Do People Ask You?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Have you ever been asked by either a friend or an acquaintance something that was just totally inappropriate and/or way too personal? I certainly have! Similarly to hearing words of wisdom that I loath, some people have no qualms asking questions that I feel cross the line. "Why are you still single?," "How much did that cost?" and "You don't look very happy, what's wrong?" are just a few that strike a nerve with me, but ladies, do tell, what questions do you find inappropriate or rude?

Source

You Asked: Am I a Glutton For Punishment?

DearSugar — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,
I am feeling very unloved by my boyfriend right now. He's in the middle of a lawsuit and is going through a really hard time and as a result, he has become more and more cold toward me. Yesterday, when we were sitting in the hot tub, he jokingly called me Shamu (after I said I felt so fat). I told him ha ha, very funny, but then I let him know that he really hurt my feelings. About five minutes later, he called me Shamu again. When I got angry at him, he told me I was being too sensitive. I'm having a hard time coping with his attitude lately. He's so angry yet claims that it's my problem, not his.

I am trying to get through to him that he's going to lose me if he doesn't start treating me with love and respect. I think he believes that I will just stick around forever. I am ready to jump ship to prove a point, but I really don't want to. I love him, but I am not getting what I need. Do you have any advice? How can I break through his icy exterior? I know he has a warm heart. — Hurt Heather

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Do Tell: How Long Would You Wait for Your Date?

DearSugar — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0700

A girlfriend of mine called me last night while she was waiting for her date at the restaurant bar where they had planned to meet. This was their first "date" and she was pretty excited to spend the evening with him. When she called me, I was confused since I knew they had plans, and she went on to say that she had been waiting for him for 25 minutes. Apparently, he had texted her saying he was stuck in traffic but still, he was over 20 minutes late and she was just waiting there for him, alone!

She asked me how long she should wait before assuming she was being stood up and while I have my own opinion, ladies, do tell, how long would you wait for a late date? If he called and said he was running a few minutes behind, how long would you give him before calling it a night?

Source

People Watching: Rude or Fun?

DearSugar — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I can't help it. Whenever I'm in a public place, be it an airport, an outdoor cafe, or park bench, I love to people watch. I'm not obvious about it (or at least I hope I'm not), but just taking a few glances at the people passing by somehow relaxes me. People are just so interesting to me because we're all so different.

I find great joy in watching old ladies walking their dogs and couples holding hands. I like to see groups of friends and how they interact, and I of course have to check out what everyone's wearing! I love seeing dads and their kids and mothers and daughters spending quality time together. Seeing people's interactions is inspirational, and it can really uplift your mood. I can relate in some way to all these strangers, and it makes me feel connected and human.

I do think you have to be cautious with who you watch and how you do it. You don't want to freak anyone out or make him or her feel self-conscious. There's a huge difference between people watching and stalking! So what do you think about people watching? Are you a fan or do you think it's a no-no?

Source

What Makes you Yawn?

DearSugar — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 16:00:00 -0700

Have you ever been in a deep conversation with someone whose company you were truly enjoying and all of a sudden you start yawning? Well, I know I have, and while I always thought it was incredibly rude, what I want to know is, do you think yawning is done out of boredom?

Source

You Asked: My Sister-in-Law Puts Me Down!

DearSugar — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

What do I do with a sister-in-law who seems to have a life mission to belittle and put me down every way possible? I don't want to hang out with her because she is so evil and rude, and then she twists everything around to make my husband think that I'm the one who's not reaching out to her. She is just such a pain!

A while back, she said that since she's older than I am she should make the first move to fix our relationship. I was open to the idea, but after a few days she was back to her old self again. I'm just so tired of this. I don't want this for my life anymore. Help!

--Tired of Her Tara

To see DEARSUGAR's answer