http://dearsugar.com/ Just ask. en http://dearsugar.com/2557886 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/49_2008/ab1c540dba9738d4_move-on.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="275" height="377"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My boyfriend of four years and I broke up seven months ago. Three days after we broke up, he started hooking up with a new girl. For the past seven months, he has been dating her semiseriously, and I have been <i>trying</i> to see other people. I had no idea it would take so long to find someone new, let alone get over my ex, and I have been miserable. I know people have this happen to them all the time, so what should I do to ease the pain of missing him and watching him move on when I haven't been able to do the same? I still love him so much. — Stagnant Stacy </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2557886">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2557886#comment Breakup holiday Relationships You Asked Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2557886 http://dearsugar.com/2554979 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/49_2008/d78f8a346f275ec4_tree.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="265" height="400"></span>Patty Brisben, of PureRomance.com fame, is back to offer up another tip so we can learn how to avoid a sex slump of our own and master how to bring the romance back after the holiday stress is behind you. Check out her advice below:</p> <p>Creativity has long been linked with sexual <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2541784" >appetite</a>, so share a creative project with your main squeeze — make personalized ornaments, bake holiday <a href="http://www.yumsugar.com/tags/cookies" >cookies</a>, <a href="http://dearsugar.com/slideshow/2275103?page=0" >cook a romantic meal with one another</a>, or decorate the Christmas tree. Even a small project like decorating a tree comes with challenges (making sure the tree doesn’t lean, that all the lights are working, etc.) and believe it or not, taking on a task and working through all the quirks together can often spark a little romance. You’ll both benefit from feelings of teamwork when you’re able to take a look at the final results of something you took on and accomplished together! </p> <p>To learn more about Patty, click <a href="http://pureromance.com/pr_companyprofile.aspx" target="_blank">here</a> and to visit PureRomance.com, click <a href="http://pureromance.com/index.aspx" target="_blank">here</a>. To see her previous tips, click <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/sex+slump" >here</a>!</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2554979#comment cooking hobby holiday Patty Brisben Pure Romance Relationships sex slump Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2554979 http://dearsugar.com/2557823 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2557823"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2557823',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2557823');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/49_2008/c9251f8a145ba6b1_ex.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="254" height="320"></span>Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this <a href="http://www.truemomconfessions.com/" target="_blank">True Confession</a>.</p> <p>"I had a sex dream about my ex-husband last night. He's better in bed than my current husband, but that's the only thing I miss about him. After four years being apart, I can still remember how it felt to have his hands caress my body and I miss it. He was more romantic and the sex was better and more frequent. Now I'm with a man who is OK with just a quickie once a month. I love him, but I feel like I went from one end of the spectrum to the other — I miss my ex."</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2557823" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>True Confession — I Miss My Ex</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Not forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Undecided</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2557823" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2557823#comment Ex Relationships Sex true confessional Wed, 03 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2557823 http://dearsugar.com/2552734 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2552734"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2552734',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2552734');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/49_2008/c9f64d275cb08c3c_sex.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="313" height="313"></span>I'm sure you've heard the phrase "sex makes things complicated" on more than one occasion, but I'm not convinced that there's any truth behind it. Sure, if you're crossing the line of friendship with someone, sex can complicate things, and if you're not having sex in a relationship, that can most definitely raise a red flag. But does the actual physical act of getting busy convolute a relationship? Tell me ladies, do you think sex makes things complicated? <br clear=all> <a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2552734" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Does Sex Make Things Complicated? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes, sex almost always makes things complicated. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> No, I've actually never found sex to complicate my relationships. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> It totally depends on the situation. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2552734" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2552734#comment complicated Dear Poll Relationships Sex Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2552734 http://dearsugar.com/2552477 <p>Dear Sugar,<br /> My boyfriend and I have been happily together for two years. Sure, things aren't always perfect, but he's considerate, playful, and gives me hope that we can have a wonderful future together. Here's the problem: My ex came home for the holidays, said that he's moving back and wants to get together for dinner and drinks. We broke up for the simple fact that he had to move away for a job and long distance became too difficult. There was no cheating or lying, and we didn't fall out of love for each other. We always had had amazing chemistry and said that if it was meant to be, we'd find one another again.<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/49_2008/6a97d50360578d04_ex.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image center xlarger" width="400" height="292"></span><br /> I really don't want to jeopardize the relationship I am in now, but I'm still young and feel like I'll always wonder "what if?" I am scared that if I do see him, I'll instantly fall back in love and then I'll be in an even bigger mess than I am now. I'm at such a loss and could really use some advice! — At a Loss Liza</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2552477">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2552477#comment Advice Ex Boyfriend Getting Back Together Relationships You Asked Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2552477 http://dearsugar.com/2549189 <p>It's normal for couples to disagree and <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1041435" >fight</a> from time to time. We argue about huge things like <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/" >money</a>, and little things like which TV show to watch. Sometimes if a couple isn't getting along, a little intervention may be necessary. <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/49_2008/ff8d40c86a1493cf_fight.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image xlarge" height="300" width="300"></span>You're probably familiar with <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1707060" >couples counseling</a>, but have you ever heard of <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27826010/" target="_blank">relationship boot camp</a>? It could be seen as the last shot to mending a broken connection or as relationship maintenance, like bringing your car in for its 30,000-mile tune-up. </p> <p>Relationship boot camp workshops are cropping up all over since divorce rates are skyrocketing. Relationship specialist Terry Real thinks this is because people never learned the skills needed to connect to another person. In his <a href="http://estore.realrelational.com/detail.aspx?ID=15" target="_blank">three-day relationship boot camp workshop</a>, he teaches the basics like how to communicate clearly and honestly, how to listen, how to deal with conflicts, and how to argue respectfully. Relationship miracles don't come cheap, though; be prepared to spend $1,500 a couple.</p> <p>Is this something you'd be willing to try? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2549189#comment fighting Relationship Boot Camp relationship issue Relationships Therapy Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2549189 http://dearsugar.com/2553063 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/49_2008/7f690a888386ec85_annoyed.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="263" height="400"></span><i>If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?</i></p> <p>You finally met a guy that you were excited to go out with. A date was set and you were looking forward to it all week. He said he'd call you in the late afternoon to solidify your plans for the night, but when he called, you could tell that he was out someplace and it was pretty evident that he had been drinking. When you asked where he was, he told you that he stopped by the local pub to catch the <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1994596" >football game</a> with his buddies. He went on to say he was really excited to see you and asked when you'd be ready. Unfortunately you're instantly turned off — you weren't expecting to have to deal with a buzzed date, especially a buzzed first date! </p> <p>Part of you wants to reschedule, but you're already in the going-out mindset, plus your calendar is almost completely booked up due to the holidays. You're torn, so how would you handle this? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2553063#comment Dating drunk football Handle This Relationships sports Tue, 02 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2553063 http://dearsugar.com/2541959 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2541959"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2541959',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2541959');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/d922087e45e9ad55_sex.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="313" height="313"></span>Sex is a powerful tool. It's an act that you have the right to exercise when you see fit. When you're in a relationship, though, sex becomes a special bond that connects you with your partner. Since relationships aren't always wine and roses, it's not uncommon for people to withhold sex as a form of punishment during an argument, but doesn't that create a power struggle in an otherwise healthy relationship? What do you all think: Is withholding sex as a form of punishment a do or a don't?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2541959" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>A Do or a Don&#039;t: Withholding Sex as Punishment</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> A do</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> A don't </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2541959" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2541959#comment A Do or a Don't fighting Relationships Sex Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2541959 http://dearsugar.com/2538500 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I met a cute boy at a law school function on Saturday night and after a few cocktails and dances, we ended up at a bar, just the two of us, and kissing ensued. It was lovely and he offered to walk me back to my apartment. (I insisted it wasn't necessary seeing as how we live on opposite sides of Manhattan, but the boy could not be dissuaded!) Though he never made it beyond my apartment doorway, we exchanged the cutesy "let's do this again soon" texts after he left. So now, it's Monday, and he has yet to contact me again. What gives? — Surprised Sascha </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/54b9283331970f3a_phone.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image xxlarge" width="465" height="368"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2538500">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2538500#comment Advice Dating Relationships You Asked Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2538500 http://dearsugar.com/2546945 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/f99a93f0088c4340_d23552692a051446_Steve.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span></p> <p>Steve Santagati, of <a href="http://badboysfinishfirst.com" target="_blank">BadBoysFinishFirst.com</a> and author of the best-selling book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1228259539&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Manual</a>, answers your burning questions when it comes to dating, love, and how men think. He's a veteran at giving street-smart, straight-to-the-point advice, so ladies, tell me, what do you want to ask Steve about men? This is your chance to get answers so don't hold back! Submit your questions <a href="http://dearsugar.com/contact/ask " >here</a>.</p> <p>Dear Steve, </p> <p>I can't tell you how many times I've been out some place — like a bar or a restaurant — and I'll find out the guy that's been flirting with me and my girls is either married or in a relationship, what's up with that? Why do they even bother if they can't "swing through the ball" — so to speak? I feel like I need to preface every conversation I have with a man with "wait, do you have a girlfriend?" — Perplexed Penelope </p> <p>To see Steve's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2546945">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2546945#comment Ask a Bad Boy Flirting Relationships Steve Santagati Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2546945 http://dearsugar.com/2534480 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/cc7e08b504f96b60_cheating.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>DearSugar and Stuck in the Middle May need your help. She knows her friend's fiance has cheated on her, but she doesn't know if she should butt in and tell her the truth. It's a complicated situation, but what would you do? </p> <p>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>In the past year I have become very close with my boyfriend's friends' girlfriends. They are now great friends of mine who I talk to all the time and hang out with regularly when the guys aren't around. One of the girls has been dating my boyfriend's best friend for about seven years, and they are engaged to be married. The only problem is he has cheated on her many times over the course of their relationship and slept with numerous other women. It's been kind of a "don't ask don't tell" situation, but all the guys are in on it. I'm technically not supposed to know this information, but my boyfriend told me in confidence before she and I became close. I'm actively helping her plan the wedding but I just can't shake the guilt I feel for knowing this and not telling her.</p> <p>She is a great girl and does not deserve to marry someone who has cheated on her countless times. Supposedly he has stopped, but who really knows for sure? I want her to know what she's getting herself into before she commits to marriage and has her parents spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, but I know the damage I would cause by speaking up. I want to be a loyal friend, but I don't want to stir the pot. Should I tell or not? — Stuck in the Middle May</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2534480#comment cheating DearSugar Needs Your Help Friendship loyalty Relationships Sat, 29 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2534480 http://dearsugar.com/2537522 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/0d9e8e6b28d7bada_cafe.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="313" height="312"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I met this guy in college and developed a major crush on him, but nothing ever happened. After graduating we kept in contact via email, then after a couple months, we met for coffee. We got to talking and he told me that he's been attracted to me for some time now, but informed me that he was in a relationship with someone else. He said he needed to figure things out on his end before getting me involved. I let him know that I too am attracted to him, and that I still wanted to maintain our friendship. </p> <p>He emailed me about a week later and suggested we meet up again — I agreed. This time we went to a cafe in the evening and talked for several hours. I know he is with another girl so I wanted to be respectful, but the whole time we were together I was thinking about how much I like him. When we left the cafe, he told me he wanted to do it again sometime, but what does all this mean? Does he just want to be friends? Is he keeping me around just in case he and his girlfriend break up? Am I setting myself up? Please help! — Unclear Claire </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2537522">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2537522#comment Advice Breakup Dating Friendship Relationships You Asked Wed, 26 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2537522 http://dearsugar.com/2531308 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/b8120b2b5470847d_couple.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Yesterday I gave you <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2524513" >five things to be thankful for if you're single</a> this Thanksgiving, but there are plenty of things to be thankful for if you're in a relationship too. If you need a reminder, check out my list below:</p> <ul> <li> You always have a “wingman” at family gatherings.</li> <li> You have someone to share your second piece of <a href="http://www.yumsugar.com/tags/pecan+pie" >pecan pie</a> with.</li> <li> You have someone to recap the night with.</li> <li> You have two families to celebrate the holiday with.</li> <li> You don't have to feel like the third wheel when you're with your coupled-up relatives. </li> </ul> <p>What about being in a relationship are you thankful for this year? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2531308#comment holiday Relationships thankful Thanksgiving Tue, 25 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2531308 http://dearsugar.com/2534381 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/ad7e80bad8172d56_flowers.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="275" height="377"></span>Over the weekend I asked you all to tell me <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2506092" >how important sex is in your relationship</a>, and I was surprised to see that it's an infrequent act for many of you. Sure, once the honeymoon period subsides, it's normal for that initial lust to die down, but if you're not connecting physically, there must be other ways you stay in tune with one another. So ladies, tell me, how do you keep the fire, passion, and intimacy alive in your relationship when you're not getting it on? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a><br /> <br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/2534381#comment Relationship Protocol Relationships Romance Sex Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2534381 http://dearsugar.com/2521206 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/1c9b788a476c620e_orgasm.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="320" height="320"></span>It might not be our best look, but we all have one: an orgasm face! Even if you've never seen your own, chances are you've seen your partner's — that unique mixture of deep concentration, relaxation, and release. But like I said, it's not always pretty, which could pose a problem while you're in the act of love-making. Since this is all anonymous, do tell ladies, are you a fan of your partner's orgasm face? If not, tell us why, I'm curious and I bet everyone else is too!</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2521206#comment good looks orgasm Relationships Sex Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2521206 http://dearsugar.com/2531671 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was devastated. We were head over heels for each other but things just weren't working out so we ended it. At one point when I was trying to get over him, I threw away all the pictures I had of him and us, all the CDs he made me, and anything that reminded me of him. I've completely moved on and I'm actually married to someone else, but I recently found pictures of my husband's ex-girlfriend in a desk drawer. I know that everyone moves on from past relationships differently, but is it normal that he still has photos of this girl years later? I understand that she was an important person in his life, but why does he need reminders of her now that he's happily married to me? — A Little Annoyed Amber<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/84458f7ab350d9db_photo.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image xxlarge" width="476" height="358"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2531671">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2531671#comment Advice past relationships Relationships You Asked Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2531671 http://dearsugar.com/2506092 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/47_2008/588ca043eccd7b36_sex.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="center image xlarger" height="296" width="400"></span></p> <p>When in a relationship, some people adore <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/Sex" >sex</a>. They think about it often, have it a lot, and are into trying new <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1812777" >toys</a>, positions, and <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1716562" >places</a> to make it better. Then there are other people in relationships who aren't that interested in getting it on. They rarely crave that kind of intimacy, and could have sex once a month (or less) and feel completely satisfied. So where do you fall in the spectrum? Is sex really important to you when you're in a relationship, or are there other ways you two prefer to celebrate your connection?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2506092#comment Do Tell Relationships Sex Sun, 23 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2506092 http://dearsugar.com/2516071 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2516071"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2516071',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2516071');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p>The holiday season is all about family, and while it's also about welcoming others to the table, I think most people look forward to being home every November. Married couples are often forced to alternate holidays if both families can't be together. But what about when you're in a serious relationship, just not married? Is spending Thanksgiving with your significant other a do or a don't? <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/5804f3f3df94ba8b_together.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image center xlarger" width="400" height="400"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2516071" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>A Do or a Don&#039;t: Thanksgiving Together Before Marriage </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> A Do — I don't like to be away from my significant other during the holidays.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> A Don't — Thanksgiving is a family holiday. We can be apart for a few days. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> We just do a big Thanksgiving together so we don't have to choose.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2516071" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2516071#comment commitment Family holiday Marriage Relationships Thanksgiving Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2516071 http://dearsugar.com/2519004 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/511c8cc8eb88ead6_used.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My last relationship was pretty hot and heavy, and when it ended over six months ago, it was because of his personal reasons — he said he needed more time to concentrate on his career — not because our feelings for each other had changed in any way. We remain friends but every time we have hung out, we have hooked up. All my friends tell me he is a jerk and that he's just using me, but when I'm with him it's like all the bad things he's ever done just disappear. I really want to stop hooking up with him so I can finally move on, but I'm not sure how to do that. Do you have any advice? — Being Used Brenda </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2519004">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2519004#comment Advice Breakup hooking up Relationships You Asked Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2519004 http://dearsugar.com/2521249 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/d0728c5cf8ba0c5a_love.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="253" height="320"></span>Falling in love means something different to everyone, but it's usually a pretty overwhelming experience. Love can also be tricky though. I don't know about you, but I've definitely <i>thought</i> I was in love before, only to realize later down the road that it wasn't love at all! Since finding it doesn't happen all that often, do tell, when do you <i>know</i> you're in love? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> <p><br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/2521249#comment Do Tell Emotions Love Relationships Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2521249 http://dearsugar.com/2510694 <p>Last night on <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/The+hills" >The Hills</a>, Audrina and Lauren have yet another heart-to-heart about Audrina's relationship with Justin Bobby. Although most of Audtrina's friends are skeptical of their relationship, she continues to defend it by saying she just doesn't have the same chemistry or connection with anyone else. Lauren referred to Justin as Audrina's "number one," and it got me thinking about those guys that will always have your attention, no matter how wrong they might be. Even if you're not with him anymore, tell me, have you ever had a number one? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/1ef8f268bdd33914_07-lauren-audrina-drinks.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" width="550" height="308"></span></p> <p>Photo courtesy of <a href="http://www.mtv.com/" target="_blank">MTV</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2510694#comment Celebrity Dating Number One Relationships The Hills Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2510694 http://dearsugar.com/2502508 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/f99a93f0088c4340_d23552692a051446_Steve.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Steve Santagati, the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1225651203&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Manual</a>, is back to answer another question for all of you — I hope advice from the male point of view helps! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them <a href="http://dearsugar.com/contact/ask" >here</a> or in the comments section below. Enjoy!</p> <p>Dear Steve, </p> <p>This is a debate I've been having with my girl friends for years now and I'd love to hear your take on it. Do guys have a lower opinion of you if you "put out" on the first date? Can a relationship ever come to fruition if there's no longer any sense of mystery? — Wondering Wednesday </p> <p>To see Steve's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2502508">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2502508#comment Advice Ask a Bad Boy Dating men Relationships Sex Steve Santagati Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2502508 http://dearsugar.com/2494581 <p>A common <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2488816" >fear many women have as Thanksgiving approaches</a> is how to answer those intrusive, uncomfortable, and sometimes rude questions by family members or old acquaintances. To help get you prepared for turkey day, I'm here to offer my suggestions for how to respond to the line of questioning most everyone gets this time of year. Let's start with question number one: Why aren't you dating? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/ab26047cecf06146_questions.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image xxlarge" width="483" height="353"></span></p> <p>To see my answers, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2494581">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2494581#comment Dating Family holiday Relationships Thanksgiving Tough Questions Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2494581 http://dearsugar.com/2499024 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2499024"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2499024',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2499024');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/b8d962e1f30f5ae6_set-up.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span><br><br>The jury is still out on <a href="http://dearsugar.com/655863" >whether it's OK to date a friend's ex</a>, but sometimes, when you've completely moved past the relationship, it's possible to have enough clarity to see that he just might be better for your friend than he was with you. I could imagine that would be a tough realization, but tell me, have you ever set up one of your ex-boyfriends with a girl friend of yours?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2499024" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Have You Ever Passed an Ex Off to a Friend?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes, and it worked! </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Yes, and it blew up in my face. I don't recommend doing it. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> No, I don't think I'd ever be comfortable with that. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2499024" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2499024#comment Dating Dear Poll Relationships set up Fri, 14 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2499024 http://dearsugar.com/2490722 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2490722"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2490722',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2490722');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/bc0dc38a1c8f3f11_laughter.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="259" height="320"></span><br><br>Couples fight, it just comes with the territory, but knowing when to call a truce takes a certain sense of humility. I've found that laughter helps to keep things in perspective so tell me, have you ever cracked a joke or started to giggle in order to keep the peace in your relationship? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2490722" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Do You Ever Break the Tension With Laughter? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes. Laughter is the best solution for fighting. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> No. When I'm mad at someone, laughing is the last thing I want to do. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2490722" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2490722#comment Dear Poll fighting Laughter Making Up Relationships Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2490722 http://dearsugar.com/2496329 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/a9c38b68f858b6d8_food.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="260" height="320"></span>Were you glued to your TV last night like I was, watching the season premiere of <a href="http://www.yumsugar.com/tag/Top+Chef" >Top Chef</a>? This show is one of my favorites, and I've always thought it'd be a great one to watch with a significant other. Unlike most reality shows, its main focus is on the craft — the food — and the drama that follows is just the icing on the cake!</p> <p>Food can be a great focal point when you're in a relationship. Not only is it fun to cook together, but <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2469651" >sharing certain foods</a> can also bring an element of flirtation to a relationship, whether you're dining in or eating out. Does food play an important role in your relationship?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2496329#comment Flirting Food Relationships Top Chef Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2496329 http://dearsugar.com/2494033 <p>Most of you have <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2365448" >been in at least one relationship before</a>, which means you have a story that explains how you met! I always enjoy hearing how it all began — not only does it give me faith that it can happen to me too, but it gives a lot of insight into the couple and the individuals. Whether it was <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2481742" >love at first sight</a> or just a total fluke, do tell, how did you meet your significant other?<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/e7657fa8fcea5856_dating.xxlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image xxlarge" width="500" height="333"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2494033#comment Do Tell meeting people Relationships Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2494033 http://dearsugar.com/2475034 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I'm a 47-year-old woman and I've only had sex with my first love — my husband of 31 years. The reason I'm writing is to ask if it's normal to only be able to climax in one position. I can only orgasm when I'm on top which makes me think I'm missing out on so many other fun positions. Do you have any suggestions to help bring excitement back to our sex life? — On Top Tatiana </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/56ea48f60b726369_orgasm.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image xxlarge" width="478" height="357"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2475034">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2475034#comment Marriage orgasm Relationships Sex sex toys spice things up You Asked Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2475034 http://dearsugar.com/slideshow/2490642 <a href="/slideshow/2490642?page=0"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/3e51f1f683615b16_TV.xlarge.jpg" alt="5 Things to Do When Your SO&#039;s Out of Town!" title="5 Things to Do When Your SO&#039;s Out of Town!" class="image xlarge inline left" height="320" width="320" /></a>On Monday I asked if you <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2480477">like to play when the cat's away,</a> and I feel like there was some confusion surrounding my question. I wasn't asking if you cheated while he was gone; rather, I was asking if you went out and <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1764032">painted the town a little red</a>, or splurged with your girlfriends. In keeping with that theme, if enjoying the TV all to yourself is too mundane, I've come up with five great ways to enjoy time away from your significant other. If I've missed something, share what it is you like to do when he's away in the comments below. <a href="http://www.gettyimages.com">Source</a> <div id='pager' style='margin:25px auto;text-align:center;margin:8px; '><a href="/slideshow/2490642?page=0">Start Slideshow</a></div> http://dearsugar.com/slideshow/2490642#comment Alone Time list Relationships Wed, 12 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2490642 http://dearsugar.com/2485553 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/eddfce7764729140_i-love-you.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>Is meeting the parents a big deal? My boyfriend of almost a year recently had his mom visit for two days while she was passing through town. I ended up having dinner with her both nights but he hasn't said I love you yet. He's very close to his mom so should I take that as a good sign? He wouldn't introduce me to his family if he didn't see long-term potential with me, right? If so, why can't he say I love you yet? — Becoming Impatient Brenda </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2485553">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2485553#comment I Love You meeting the family Relationships You Asked Tue, 11 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2485553 http://dearsugar.com/2487548 <p>I didn't think Spencer had it in him to swallow his pride, admit his wrongdoings, and put someone else first. But last night on <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/The+hills" >The Hills</a>, he proved me wrong! Though he didn't get very far in trying to get Heidi her job back, I was glad to see him go to her rescue. </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/c581a7798a240ffb_hilll.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image xxlarge" width="500" height="274"></span></p> <p>I'm not an advocate of <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1909838" >confrontation</a>, but I think it'd be pretty hot to have a boyfriend stand up for me, whatever the situation. Has a boyfriend ever come to your aid when you needed rescuing? </p> <p>Photo courtesy of <a href="http://www.mtv.com/" target="_blank">MTV</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2487548#comment drama pride Relationships The Hills Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2487548 http://dearsugar.com/2485956 <p>Finding <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1894647" >Mr. Right</a> is no easy feat, and sometimes you end up dating a guy who may be fun and sweet, even though you know in your heart he's not the man you want to end up with. </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/46_2008/0b3ea6b49d2ff6da_on-the-beach.jpg" alt="" title="" class="center image xlarger" height="290" width="400"></span></p> <p>But is there anything wrong with enjoying the time you spend together and "loving the one you're with," or do you think it's unfair to both of you to stay in a relationship that you know won't result in <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/marriage" >marriage</a>?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2485956#comment mr. right Relationships Where Do You Stand Tue, 11 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2485956 http://dearsugar.com/2474483 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I created a Facebook account sometime ago and came across an old friend. We had a tumultuous relationship and she often times didn't see anything wrong with calling me a friend without treating me like one. She was selfish and rude to me. She hurt me too many times so I ended the "friendship." I was devastated, but I realized neither she, nor her friends accepted me in the first place. She seemed hurt as well, but had other people she could rely on.</p> <p>It's been three years since our breakup and since my social life is currently in despair, I've been considering trying to rekindle a friendship with her. I'm nervous that I'm making a big mistake and I really need some advise on this. What do you think I should do? — Friendless Francis </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/bc741abb94131f72_friend.xxlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image xxlarge" width="500" height="334"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2474483">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2474483#comment frenemy Friendship making new friends Relationships You Asked Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2474483 http://dearsugar.com/2480477 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/5407aae791d42847_away.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xxlarge" width="368" height="464"></span>Does the old saying when the cat's away, the mouse will play ring at all true in your relationship? It's a common notion that when a significant other is out of town, the other half gets a "hall pass." While I'm sure that's appealing to some, others might use that time apart to catch up on alone time, to get errands run, or to simply spend time with friends and family. So when it comes to your relationship, tell me, when the cat's away, do you play? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2480477#comment Alone Time Party Relationship Protocol Relationships Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2480477 http://dearsugar.com/2473794 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/5f04f1304cbcfcf3_date.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarge" width="313" height="313"></span>First dates are typically meant for getting to know one another, but when our nerves get the best of us, it's easy to walk away from the night without really learning much about him at all. To prevent that from happening, I've come up with 10 first date questions that are sure to enlighten you on some of the important character traits you'll need to know later down the road — sometimes knowing how he takes his coffee is as important as whether or not he wants kids! Check out my questions below and please add your own in the comments below. </p> <ul> <li> Are you a dog or cat person?</li> <li> What's your favorite food?</li> <li> What's your least favorite food?</li> <li>Are you a night owl or a morning person? </li> <li> Winter or Summer?</li> </ul> <p>To see five more questions, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2473794">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2473794#comment Dating First Date list personality traits Relationships Mon, 10 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2473794 http://dearsugar.com/2473677 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/f99a93f0088c4340_d23552692a051446_Steve.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Steve Santagati, the Author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1225651203&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Manual</a>, is back to answer his first question for all of you — I hope advice from the male point of view helps! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them <a href="http://dearsugar.com/contact/ask" >here</a> or in the comments section below. Enjoy!</p> <p>Dear Steve, </p> <p>What are guys thinking when they are "discreetly" checking out other women when they are in a loving, happy relationship? Do they have sexual thoughts like, "She's so hot I'd love to do her," or is it more like what I think, "Oh she's pretty," and leave it at that? — Curious Casey</p> <p>To see Steve's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2473677">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2473677#comment Advice Ask a Bad Boy Dating men Relationships Steve Santagati Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2473677 http://dearsugar.com/2470994 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/9e9a8c54045ac4fd_cook.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="275" height="379"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been going out for four years; since I was 20. Despite working full time, he still lives at home with his mother who is very controlling, and in turn, he lets her treat him that way. The problem is he can't say no to her. She frequently makes plans for him and guilts him into staying home. It's gotten to the point where he doesn't have any friends he sees regularly besides me.</p> <p>The other night we arranged to go out for dinner. When he got home from work, his mom had made him dinner because he forgot to tell her we had a date. Rather than saving the dinner she made for another day, he called and told me he changed his mind about going out and then he got mad at me for being inflexible when I got upset. </p> <p>Clearly his mother is causing a rift in our relationship. It feels like she is trying to fight me for his attention all the time. This has been going on a long time now so I guess it is my own fault for putting up with it, but I don't think he will ever change. Do you think I should wait until he moves out or see if things change on their own? — Competing Courtney </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2470994">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2470994#comment Family living situation mother Relationships You Asked Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2470994 http://dearsugar.com/2469086 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/cd7531eb15e4f4d2_simon-cowell.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="254" height="320"></span>If you didn't already hear, <a href="http://popsugar.com/2451849" >Simon Cowell and long-time girlfriend Teri Seymour have called it quits</a>, but according to <a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20238032,00.html" target="_blank">People</a>, he's not looking for love again anytime soon. He claimed to have sworn off women and his statement got me thinking.</p> <p>We all handle breakups differently: some hibernate and regroup while others paint the town red or jump into another relationship. No one way is better than the other so tell me, do you tend to swear off men after a breakup like Simon is doing with women?</p> <p><a href=http://wireimage.com/>Source</a> </p> http://dearsugar.com/2469086#comment Breakup Celebrity Dating News to Me Relationships Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2469086 http://dearsugar.com/2464938 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/45f280ae9ffe762e_married.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="267" height="400"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I have a serious dilemma. My fiancé and I have been together for four and a half years, living together for three, and engaged for five months. We set a date and everything was great, except I started to get very nervous — I have major cold feet! I love him dearly and our relationship is awesome except for a few things: I wish we had a better sex life and I struggle with having more of a social need than him. I want a little spontaneity in my life, I am only 23!</p> <p>Though I'm having cold feet, I don't want to lose such a great person by letting my fear get the best of me. I decided that I needed to be alone and live by myself for a while so I could figure this all this out. He moved out a week ago, and I am not missing him that much. I see him everyday and we are still together, we're just living separately. </p> <p>I am completely confused and need advice as to what to do. Does age really matter when it comes to marriage? Does hot sex really matter? Please help! I'd rather not get married then get married and get divorced. — Cold Feet Courtney </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2464938">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2464938#comment cold feet Love Marriage Relationships Sex You Asked Thu, 06 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2464938 http://dearsugar.com/2466698 <div id="guesswho-view-2466698"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/guesswho/view/2466698',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var guesswho=$('guesswho-view-2466698');guesswho.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p>Guess who said this about the man in her life? <br><br> "I'd always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me."</p><p><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/ab254f441c0477c0_guess-who.jpg" alt="Guess Who Said It?" title="Guess Who Said It?" class="image preview" height="409" width="275" /></p><p><form action="/2466698" method="post" id="guesswho_guess"> <div><div class="guesswho_form"><div class="form-item"> <input type="text" maxlength="128" name="edit[guess]" id="edit-guess" size="20" value="" class="form-text form-autocomplete" /> </div> <input class="autocomplete" type="hidden" id="edit-guess-autocomplete" value="http://dearsugar.com/taxonomy/autocomplete/2" disabled="disabled" /><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2466698" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Guess" class="form-submit" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="I Give Up" class="form-submit" /> <input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="guesswho_guess" /> </div> </div></form> </p></noscript> http://dearsugar.com/2466698#comment Celebrity Guess who guess who said it Love Relationships Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2466698 http://dearsugar.com/2467331 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2467331"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2467331',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2467331');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p>Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this <a href="http://www.truemomconfessions.com/" target="_blank">True Confession</a>. <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/04b22a09283e1e2d_oral.xxlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image xxlarge" width="500" height="332"></span></p> <p>"Is it wrong to let another man go down on me since my husband refuses to do it? We've been married almost four years and he only tried it once — he said it just wasn't his thing. My best O was when my ex-boyfriend went down on me when I was 18 . . . and I miss it."</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2467331" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>True Confession — I Want Oral Sex!</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Not forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Undecided</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2467331" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2467331#comment cheating Oral Sex Relationships true confession Wed, 05 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2467331 http://dearsugar.com/2466461 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/fe4dd8785e7d3c9e_remote.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="320" height="320"></span>Are you sick of telling your man to put the toilet seat down? Are you fed up with asking him to talk about his feelings? If so, you're in luck! This genius <a href="http://www.paper-source.com/cgi-bin/paper/444523.html?cm_id=3325.010" target="_blank">Control a Man Remote</a> that I stumbled upon today could be the answer to all your problems. All you do is point and click the relevant button for your desired results, and hopefully he'll do as he's told; although results may vary!</p> <p>I love this cheeky gadget, but what do you think? </p> http://dearsugar.com/2466461#comment Control a Man Remote Love it or Leave it men Relationships Wed, 05 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2466461 http://dearsugar.com/2465991 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/89ce9b1cb99fc80a_perfect.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarge" width="253" height="320"></span>I'm sure you've all heard the saying "he's perfect on paper" — you know, the guy who went to an Ivy League school, the guy who comes from a good family, who's caring, generous, and of course good looking. While that description might sound good to some, it's far from perfection to others. So ladies, once you've decided he's <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2393996" >boyfriend material</a>, do tell, what's <i>your</i> definition of a guy that's perfect on paper? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2465991#comment Dating Do Tell Perfect Relationships Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2465991 http://dearsugar.com/2463143 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/b548b4b5831acd93_breakup.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I need help making sense out of this situation. I had three great dates with this guy — three dates within the timespan of five days! We were really hitting it off and he was signaling that he was interested in something more. We didn't kiss on our first date, or our second date, (he only kissed my cheek) but on our third date, we were hanging out at his place and the next thing I knew, we were having sex. It was completely casual, nothing weird happened, and it was overall a nice experience. He was really sweet with me after — he helped me put my coat on and kissed me goodnight. That date was last Tuesday. I haven't received a single phone call, text message, or instant message from him since. I'm really confused and now I'm thinking that somehow us having sex on our third date has suddenly freaked him out. I need help sorting this all out! What should I do? — Puzzled Paulina </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2463143">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2463143#comment Advice Dating Relationships Sex You Asked Tue, 04 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2463143 http://dearsugar.com/2463402 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/708cd268a9049afb_vote.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarge" width="313" height="315"></span>I asked you a few weeks ago whether or not you've ever dated someone with <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2181256" >differing political views</a>, and the outcome was mixed — some of you have done it before only to have the relationship end in failure, while others respected their significant other's differing views. Since this is such an important election year, tell me, would a guy choosing <i>not</i> to exercise his right to vote be a deal-breaker for you and your relationship? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2463402#comment 2008 Presidential Election Dating dealbreaker Relationships vote Tue, 04 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2463402 http://dearsugar.com/2453228 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/d23552692a051446_Steve.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Have you ever wanted to know exactly what he was thinking when dealing with guy trouble? I know I have, so if you're interested in getting an unbiased perspective from a man's point of view, you're in luck! I'm thrilled with the opportunity to have Steve Santagati — the Author of the <b>New York Times</b> best-selling book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1225651203&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Manual</a> — answer some of your burning questions and concerns when it comes to dating, love, and how men think. He's a veteran at giving street-smart, straight-to-the-point advice, so ladies, tell me, what do you want to ask Steve about men? This is your chance to get answers so don't hold back!</p> <p>To see more from Steve Santagati, click <a href="http://badboysfinishfirst.com/" target="_blank">here</a>, and to purchase <b>The Manual</b>, click <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1225651203&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><a href="http://sueburdick.com/" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2453228#comment Advice Dating Love Relationships Steve Santagati Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:03:29 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2453228 http://dearsugar.com/2393996 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/44_2008/896c1048df99a26e_hug.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image xlarge" height="320" width="287"></span>I've been in the dating world for quite some time and although it's fun to get to know new people, I'm more interested in finding a special someone. There are definitely some weirdos out there, but I can usually tell within a few hours of meeting a guy whether or not he's boyfriend material. If the conversation flows easily, if he shows he cares by listening when I talk, if there's good chemistry and if he can make me laugh, I'm inclined to think there's potential there! </p> <p>But what about you? What qualities do you look for in a guy when figuring out if he's boyfriend material?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2393996#comment Boyfriend Material Dating Do Tell Relationships Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2393996 http://dearsugar.com/2431770 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/620a254903600ee0_upset.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="313" height="313"></span>DearSugar and Betrayed Becky need your help. She was hurt by her ex <i>and</i> her best friend and she doesn't know what to do. She misses them both but is still devastated by their actions. Do you have any advice for her? </p> <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago, but we have been in contact ever since. I ended things with him because I never really trusted him. He's disappointed me multiple times throughout our one-and-a-half year relationship, and I just knew he wasn't the one for me in the long run. </p> <p>I couldn't bear to break up with him so I lied and said I didn't believe in marriage (it's his dream to get married), and that prompted <i>him</i> to break up with <i>me.</i> Despite all that, I still miss him and love him.</p> <p>However, recently I heard that my ex got together with my best friend the very day after we broke up! I was shocked — I felt betrayed, angry and used. When I confronted my ex about this, he denied it. But when I confronted my "best friend," she confirmed it. I sent various angry emails to my ex, one moment forgiving him, another scolding him. Now all we have is sourness and bitterness, but at times, I still think of him and sometimes I still miss her.</p> <p>How do I get over this betrayal and anger I feel? Is there any way I could rectify my friendship with my ex, or with my friend? And should I? — Betrayed Becky</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2431770#comment Betrayal DearSugar Needs Your Help Friendship Relationships Sat, 01 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2431770 http://dearsugar.com/2444880 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/296b34e1b531335b_birthday.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="320" height="241"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have birthdays two weeks apart; his is first. I treated him to dinner and got him a gift that he had mentioned wanting. When my birthday rolled around, he got me a card and we went to a festival together. It's been almost two weeks since then, and he's taken zero initiative to take me out or get me a birthday gift. I can't help feeling slighted. Neither of us is made of money, but it wasn't that hard for me to spend $75 to $100 on him, and <i>I know</i> he could do the same for me. </p> <p>I understand that guys can be oblivious about the weirdest things sometimes, so I don't want to jump to conclusions that he's just being a jerk, but my feelings are hurt. What's a good way to ask him why he didn't really acknowledge my birthday without sounding selfish or spoiled? — Disappointed Dana </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2444880">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2444880#comment Advice birthdays Relationships resentment You Asked Fri, 31 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2444880 http://dearsugar.com/2440849 <p>The word on the street is that couples are having more sex these days because of all the stress and overwhelming fear that's lingering in the air. And if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Sex is a great stress reliever and it's the one thing that can make you feel utterly connected to someone — a comforting feeling during these uncertain times. Since I'm of the curious nature, tell me, are you and your significant other having more sex these days as a destress mechanism?<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/8a86baef752edb99_sex.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline center image xlarger" width="400" height="292"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2440849#comment Relationship Protocol Relationships Sex Stress stress relief Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2440849