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Relationship Protocol: Do You Prefer Telephone Privacy?

DearSugar — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800

When in a relationship, most people tell their significant other everything, even the stuff they're not supposed to, but there's something to be said about having a private conversation without your man sitting right there next to you. Since every relationship is different, tell me, do you prefer to talk to your friends and family in private or in front of your honey so he can be a part of the conversation too?

Source

Where Do You Stand? Forwarding Emails

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Email seems to be the most popular mode of communication these days. And when you're trying to plan something or relay a message, it's sometimes easier to just forward someone's email instead of retyping it, but that could easily lead to trouble. Since the Internet has a life of its own, you can never be too careful with your personal conversations or private information. So where do you stand when it comes to forwarding emails without permission? Is it something you do without thinking twice? Have you done it before and had it blow up in your face? Or has someone forwarded an email of yours that wasn't meant for anyone else's eyes?

Source

Handle This: Your Ex's New Girlfriend Wants Information

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

After you broke up with your boyfriend you both kept in touch, and though you’re not close anymore, you’re still friendly. He recently started exclusively dating someone new who you actually know through a friend of a friend.

She’s a nice girl, and you have no hard feelings towards her, but you’re caught off-guard when you run into her and she immediately starts inquiring about your ex. She wants to know all sorts of personal details about his past including specifics about your relationship with him. You're speechless but that doesn't stop her from asking you to coffee so you can chat. It's an awkward situation to say the least so how do you handle this?

Source

A Do or a Don't: Going Into Detail

DearSugar — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 14:00:00 -0700

When I’m being told one of my friend’s dating escapades, I like all the details. Maybe I’m just nosy, but I'd want to make an informed opinion if I’m asked for it. Likewise, I’m apt to walk my friends step-by-step through a situation I've been through. That’s me — I’m all about the details. But not all my friends share my enthusiasm for sharing the specifics.

Recently when I asked a friend to tell me all the juicy details about her date, she reproached me and said, “I want to keep some things to myself.” Immediately, I apologized, because I knew exactly what she meant — butt out. Are there things you’d rather just gloss over when dishing to your friends? Or when it comes to reliving your personal drama, are you a detail-oriented woman like myself?

Source

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Read a Friend's Diary?

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Since so many of you admitted to snooping, I thought I'd take it one step further. In this crazy world we all live in, it seems that writing in a journal is one of the only times where we can be truly one with our feelings; to write out our deepest and darkest secrets and innermost thoughts. It should go without saying that someones journal or diary is a very private, sacred possession yet so many people jump at the opportunity to turn the pages of someone else's sentiments. I understand that certain desperate situations call for that invasion of privacy, but tell me, have you ever read a friend's diary out of mere curiosity?Source

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Read a Friend's Diary?

I'm guilty of reading a friend's journal and I still feel terrible for it to this day.

No, I've never read anyone's journal simply because I would feel so betrayed if someone did it to me.

Other — Please explain below.

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Snooped?

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Snooping is usually a pretty bad idea. Not only is it a violation of privacy, but it’s very rare that the snooper actually feels better after the misdeed. But still, many of us are prone to fits of curiosity and an open email account or unmanned cell phone can be too tempting. I’m not one to judge, so ladies, tell me, have you ever snooped? Source

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Snooped?

Yes, hasn’t everyone at one point or another?

I did, but it was totally called for!

I’ve been tempted, but never gone through with it.

Not me. It's a true invasion of privacy.

Other — Please share below.

Where Do You Stand? Sharing the Family Dirt With Friends

DearSugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

It seems like along the way, every family manages to gain a few secrets or drama-filled issues. And often the family gossip can have a serious effect on your day-to-day life. As with all personal strife, it’s natural to want to talk it out with friends, but sometimes spilling family news can feel a bit disloyal. So where do you stand on sharing your family drama with friends? What about your significant other?

Source

Relationship Protocol: Have You Ever Embarrassed Each Other?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

As your relationship develops and you grow closer together, eventually you begin to learn the more intimate details of your partner like his particular neuroses and even his bathroom habits. Being privy to so much private information about the other, it would be simple to break one of the good standby relationship rules — making the other person look good — by revealing one of those intimate details to others. Fortunately, most of us have enough commonsense to avoid such an indiscretion.

But sometimes, whether we're feeling particularly spiteful or simply suffering a slip of the tongue, certain bits of information, opinions, or behaviors, which you'd bother rather keep private, can make their way into a social setting and serious embarrassment can ensue. Hopefully this doesn't happen often, but ladies, have you and your man ever embarrassed each other? If so, was it intentional or totally accidental?

Source

A Do or a Don't: Spreading the Word About a New Love Interest

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

When we meet someone new or find ourselves with that butterfly feeling, the natural inclination is to share the news with friends, family, and whoever else might listen. There’s so much pleasure in going over the details of a chance encounter or eye-opening date, but sometimes sharing too much too soon can lead to feelings of embarrassment and rejection if things don’t work out.

It’s fun to talk about a guy asking for your number, but it can be painful to later disclose that he never called. While I love to hear about my friends’ escapades no matter the outcome, I understand when they keep things under wraps until they get more serious. Does this ring true for you? Do you tend to spread the word about a new love interest? Or do you think it’s better to keep it quiet at first until you have an idea of how things will pan out?

Source

Handle This: Office Affair

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Recently you figured out that your co-worker, who you’ve always considered a friend, too, is having an adulterous relationship with your boss. She hasn't actually spilled the beans, but you've pieced it together after seeing them at a restaurant arm in arm.

She’s been making references to the new guy she’s been seeing and even asks for your input on certain personal issues. The entire situation doesn’t sit right with you, and you get the feeling that she wants to tell you but she can't. That last thing you want to do is get involved, but you’re sick of hearing about it, so how do you handle this?

Source

Sunday Confessional: I Exposed Her Secrets on My Blog

DearSugar — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I started a personal blog about a year ago as a way to keep track of my life post-college. In the beginning, it was more of a casual thing, but over time, and as I gained a few readers it became more serious. Friends and family knew about it, but I never really made it accessible for them. In fact, many of the people in the posts involve my closest friends and family members — though I've always given them pseudonyms. One friend in particular has had some bad months lately, and I often found myself blogging about her and her messy life. She's made a lot of poor decisions, and I think posting it on my blog was a way for me to talk through it without actually talking about it with anyone who might know her. Long story short, she recently discovered my site — I have no idea how — but she was enraged and deeply hurt. She feels that her trust has been violated, and that I've completely stabbed her in the back. And of course, she's upset by the opinions I have of her. She's cut me out of her life, and informed mutual friends about my blog, who have now also turned on me. I understand why she feels the way she does, but I never meant for anyone to find out. My personal life is a wreck now! It's like my diary has been exposed. I've pulled down my blog, and I want to make things right, but can I ever be forgiven?Source

Sunday Confessional: I Exposed Her Secrets on My Blog

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Relationship Protocol: Sharing Passwords

DearSugar — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

I’m a huge supporter of honesty and communication when in a relationship, but I’m still not sure about sharing passwords. Since most email accounts, voicemail boxes, and computers shouldn’t contain anything you wouldn’t want your significant other to have access to, it shouldn’t matter whether or not he has your information or you have his, but I still think that there’s something to be said for having a little privacy — even in a relationship.

It seems like having access might create too much temptation for curious minds, and even with the most innocent of intentions, snooping is always problematic. What do you think? Do you or would you share your passwords with your significant other? Do you expect him to share his with you?

Source

Dear Poll: Do Celebs Have a Right to Fight Back?

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:00:00 -0700

We hear about celebrities yelling at the paparazzi all the time. Just this week it was Seal giving them a piece of his mind, but Cameron Diaz has done it and Justin Timberlake has too. Even Hugh Grant has made his opinion known, loud and clear. Whenever I see the shutterbugs swarming celebrities, I always feel badly for them. Sure, paparazzi comes with the territory, but when is enough, enough? Famous faces can't even grab a bite to eat without flashes practically blinding them!I may sound like a softy, but I feel like everyone has a right to privacy. What's your take on this touchy subject? It seems that most people have no sympathy for celebrities, so do you think they have a right to fight back at the media, call them names, even let matters get physical every once in a while to protect themselves? Source

Dear Poll: Do Celebs Have a Right to Fight Back?

Yes — The paparazzi completely step over the line.

No — They knew what they were getting themselves into when they chose their profession.

It depends on the time and place.

Other — Please share below!

Dear Poll: Would You Reveal All?

DearSugar — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 10:00:00 -0800

One would think being a celebrity with the constant, watchful eye of an evasive public would be more than enough, but when you voluntarily expose yourself to more scrutiny, I have to question one's motives. Lindsay Lohan's drama has been splashed all over every tabloid for months now, but it seems like she hasn't had enough. First she posed naked for New York magazine and now images of her tattoos will be on display come Thursday. I know that celebrities choose their career because they love the attention, but what ever happened to protecting your privacy? It's fun to flaunt it if you've got it, but ladies, let me ask you, would you ever voluntarily put your life on display?Source

Dear Poll: Would You Reveal All?

Yes — I'm not affraid of who I am, my body or my tattoos for that matter!

No — I'm way too private.

If I was getting paid the big bucks, sure, why not!

Other — I'll explain below

A Case of Too Much Information

DearSugar — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Do you have a friend, or worse, a coworker who just doesn’t know when to stop sharing information about her personal life? When people end up leaving everyone around them slightly uncomfortable, they've divulged TMI, or too much information. Things that fall under that category might be your mom’s sex life, your boss’s bathroom habits, your neighbor’s foot fetish, or even your own personal fantasies. It’s not that you’re judging what they're saying per se, but you just don’t want to know; we all have our limits! So tell me: Are you one to stop people from giving TMI, or are you a TMI offender?

Source

Where Do You Stand? Dating Someone Who Lives With the Parents

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:00:00 -0800

If I found out the guy I was dating was living at home, I'd be totally turned off, unless of course he's taking care of his sick mother or his house just burned down. If a guy is simply mooching off his parents, or is too lazy and cheap to pay for his own place, it's a pretty good sign that he'd make a bad lifetime partner.

What do you think about dating someone who lives with his or her parents? Do you think it's a non-issue, even though you'd have almost no privacy, or are you totally against it?

Source

Do Tell: What's in Your Night Stand?

DearSugar — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Sometimes people's most personal belongings are kept in their bedside table drawer as opposed to their medicine cabinet. It's easy to snoop around in someone's bathroom, but going through people's drawers in their bedroom is just a total no no. So whether it's your book, your private photos, condoms, lube, your vibrator or your favorite sex toy, ladies do tell, what do you keep in your bedside table drawer?

Source

Would you Let a Camera Crew into your Home?

DearSugar — Thu, 31 May 2007 10:35:00 -0700

First there was the Real World, then came Newlyweds, Til Death Do Us Part, My Fair Brady, Run's House, Girls Next Door, etc. etc.! There is something so enthralling about snooping into the lives of famous people -- figuring out if they really live "normal" lives just like the rest of us. So ladies, if you were famous, would you let a camera crew film your every move and give the public a sneak peek into your private life?Source

Would you Let a Camera Crew into your Home?

Yes: Why not! I have nothing to hide and if it would boost my career, I would give it a shot

No: Not a chance, it is a total invasion of privacy and personal space. Nothing would be sacred

Other: Please share!

Do Tell: If You Were Being Interviewed

DearSugar — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 03:01:00 -0700

I've been reading a lot of interviews lately, and it's interesting to notice the ways in which the questions and the answers are managed. For good reasons, celebrity curiosity is indulged, but a certain measure of privacy is maintained. Which got me thinking: if we were constantly being interviewed for television and magazines, what would we consider an intrusion? How far would be too far?

Do tell, ladies, what interview question would you be unwilling to answer?

Source

You Asked: Her Jealousy vs His Privacy

DearSugar — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 12:30:00 -0800

DearSugar --

I have the problem that my girlfriend cannot refrain from snooping through my computer, and more importantly, through my internet browser history. She is incredibly devious about it, and given half the chance - ie, my pc is on and left unlocked and unattended, she will jump at the chance to see if I've been "looking at porn".

Just yesterday I was looking for software and drivers for her cellphone. It took me to a 'warez' site, which as most people know tend have some adult content on them. Most people will also know that these such sites bring up several popup windows advertising almost exclusively porn and gambling sites. I do not know whether I clicked a banner accidentally or if it was the popup itself but somehow I had three porn sites added to my history - (which I never check but you-know-who does).

So this morning I open up google and I'm about to search for something and the previous searches that have been entered come up, clearly from my g/f. The first one I saw was "My boyfriend looks at porn" and others along the same lines. I check the history, and clearly she had dredged up those ad sites and then gone onto google to search for some sort of advice.

So now rather confront me about it and ask me straight out, she has been distant and difficult and now I know why. I can't even begin to try and explain about pop-ups and how these things happen without her saying "uh-huh, sure", and to be honest I don't see why I should have to in the first place. This is a direct result of her being unable to respect my privacy - she was snooping through my computer and found things that would make her unhappy, but through no fault of mine.

I'm a big boy and I can't help feeling where I go and what I look at is my business and nobody else's - not even hers. I take it a chronic breach of trust that I cannot leave my pc unattended without her having to check up on me all the time. The current status? We're not talking about it. But I know that as soon as I go shopping later she will go through my history again and more than likely read this letter.

I can't go on like this. Please please, any help or advice would be welcome. I love her lots but I cannot handle the duplicity and deceit any longer. -- Suspected Steve

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