http://dearsugar.com/ Just ask. en http://dearsugar.com/2322250 <p>We all know that boys will be boys, but when they are in a relationship, time with the guys becomes all the more important. Just as women need alone time with their friends, men desire the same interaction. But I've noticed a common theme when my girlfriends tell me about their significant others' nights out: they're constantly up to no good, drinking too much, staying out too late, and spending too much money. Of course it's their life and they can live it however they see fit, but when it compromises their girlfriends' feelings, something has to change. So ladies, how do you feel when your significant other goes out with the guys? Is it a cause for contention, or are you a supporter of boys' night out? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/41_2008/boys.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image xxlarge" width="489" height="349"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2322250#comment Boys drinking hurt feelings Money Relationship Protocol Relationships Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2322250 http://dearsugar.com/slideshow/2275103 <a href="/slideshow/2275103?page=0"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/41_2008/couple.xlarge.jpg" alt="Five Things You Can Do As a Couple on the Cheap" title="Five Things You Can Do As a Couple on the Cheap" class="image xlarge inline left" height="320" width="213" /></a>Unless you've been living under a rock, you're fully aware of our current <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/tags/economy">economic</a> crisis. And while professionals are telling us not to panic, chances are most of you are cutting back on your spending. But saving money and scaling down your date nights doesn't mean you can't have fun; you just might have to think outside the box! So if you're looking for things to do with your significant other on the cheap, check out my five date-night suggestions that don't require you to break the bank. <a href="http://www.gettyimages.com">Source</a> <div id='pager' style='margin:25px auto;text-align:center;margin:8px; '><a href="/slideshow/2275103?page=0">Start Slideshow</a></div> http://dearsugar.com/slideshow/2275103#comment cooking Dating Economy games Money Relationships Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2275103 http://dearsugar.com/2061371 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/stk95935cor.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="315" width="315"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I live with my cousin, and moving in with her was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. At first when we sat down and talked about living together, it sounded it like it would work. We came to an understanding about how we would live and things started off well. But then she quit her job, without having a new one lined up, so I've had to fill in the gap in rent that she couldn't afford. Finally another month went by, she managed to get a job, but she still couldn't afford the rent. She wanted to just pay it late, but I told her it would look bad for both of us, and she'd end up with the late fee. So I offered to pay her rent again, but only on the condition she pay me back as soon as possible including the late fee. </p> <p>She finally got paid, but when she went to pay me back, she only gave me one month's rent, not including the late fee. I tried to rationalize with her about why I should get that money, but she refused. I've hit my limit now and I want her out! She can't even take care of herself and she's completely self-absorbed. I've told her to leave, but she thinks I'm joking. How do I get her to go? </p> <p>— Roommate Blues Rae</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2061371">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2061371#comment Advice Family Money Roommate You Asked Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2061371 http://dearsugar.com/2085755 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/sad.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="275" height="385"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I just finished my master's in May and I still can't find a job. I am in the education field and I live on Long Island, where jobs are hard to find. My boyfriend and I have an apartment together, and he is working <i>a lot</i> to keep us afloat. We have considered relocating for my sake but figured we would allow some time first. Money aside, I am having a really hard time dealing with being unemployed. I am feeling sad over the fact that my boyfriend is overworked and has to basically support me. I feel like all of the time and money I spent on my education is not paying off. I have a part-time job, I work evenings, so I spend most of the day at home and then miss my boyfriend because he has a day job. At first, I took advantage of getting myself organized and continuing my job search, but now I have a hard time getting out of bed and feel like there is no purpose to my day. I know that I am depressed. I would love to have some input on how I can get out of this slump and get on with things. — Desperate Davida </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2085755">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2085755#comment Advice Career Job Money Moving Relationships unemployed You Asked Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2085755 http://dearsugar.com/2078267 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/shop.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="275" height="416"></span>Since so many of you consider shopping a <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1793911" >form of therapy</a> I thought you could benefit from a <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26840446/" target="_blank">new test</a> that determines whether or not you're considered a shopaholic. Since compulsive buying is linked to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and stress, it's a good idea to determine if you should be leaving those credit cards at home! </p> <p>As we all know, there's a difference between buying and over-the-top spending, which has the ability to wreak havoc on your life. Those who are considered compulsive buyers spend money on things regardless of the need for them or what's in their bank account, and according to Kent Monroe, a marketing professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, "Compulsive buying is an addiction that can be harmful to the individual, families, relationships. It is not just something that only afflicts low-income people."</p> <p>To see what this test entails, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2078267">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2078267#comment Emotions Money News to Me Shopping Stress Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2078267 http://dearsugar.com/2078716 <p>The economy is terrible and your company’s taken a hit, so when you lose your job you’re devastated, but not shocked. The problem is you don’t have any prospects, no one’s hiring, and your rent is due. Your parents have deep financial woes of their own, so you can't turn to them. Your boyfriend is by no means well-off, but he currently is in a better situation than you. He’s offering to loan you money until you get a job, but you know money and romance don't mix. So how do <i>you</i> handle this? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/200304968-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" height="332" width="500"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2078716#comment borrow Boyfriend Handle This lend Money Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2078716 http://dearsugar.com/2028905 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2028905"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2028905',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2028905');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/dating_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="300" height="427"></span>There has been a lot of talk about <a href="http://fabsugar.com/tags/model+diversity" >race on the runway</a> lately and it's got me thinking about the role race plays in relationships. There are many couples out there with <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1952881" >varying religious</a> beliefs and conflicting points of views <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1712570" >on money</a>, but what about dating someone of a different race? Just like any of the above, dating outside your race can bring a sense of complication to the relationship, but at the end of the day, it's all about the connection and love each person feels for the other. Clearly I'm curious so tell me, have you ever dated outside of your race? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> <p><br clear=all></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2028905" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Have You Ever Dated Outside Your Race?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> No</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Other — Please explain below. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2028905" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2028905#comment Dating Dear Poll Money race Relationships Religion Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2028905 http://dearsugar.com/2028395 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/frustrated.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="313" height="313"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My husband and I had a decent size wedding of about 120 people. Each guest cost my parents about $130. One family we invited sticks out in particular. Eight people in their party showed up (all adults) and when it came time to open gifts after the wedding, theirs was $100 — $100 from eight grown, working adults!! My husband and I were both shocked initially because the family is pretty well-off, but my husband decided we should let it go.</p> <p>We've been married for over a year now and I can't seem to completely get over this. They are family friends of my husband so I hate to mention it to him, but it still hurts me to this day. I know I'm being selfish, but do I have a right to feel kind of cheated? I would never dare approach the family about it, but I've lost a lot of respect for them. In fact, their daughter (who attended our wedding) is getting married at the end of the month and I'm tempted to skimp out on her gift just in spite. Are my feelings justified? And when it comes to wedding gifts, what are the general rules anyway? — Holding a Grudge Gretta </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2028395">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2028395#comment Advice Anger Gifts Money Wedding wedding registry You Asked Wed, 17 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2028395 http://dearsugar.com/1982130 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/37_2008/71058600.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="232" width="350"></span>In controversial news, a 22-year-old woman is making headlines everywhere by offering her virginity to the highest bidder in the hopes of earning money for grad school. Commenting on the scandal this is causing, an article in <a href="http://reuters.com" target="_blank">Reuters</a> notes that many who've weighed in on this strange scenario think it's just a desperate attempt at fame, while others consider such an act synonymous with prostitution. The woman offered her <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSSP12411420080911?feedType=RSS&amp;feedName=lifestyleMolt&amp;pageNumber=1&amp;virtualBrandChannel=0" target="_blank">own insight</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>I don't think auctioning my virginity will solve all my problems but it will create some financial stability. I'm ready for the controversy, I know it will come along. I'm ready to do this . . . We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?</p></blockquote> <p>I'll be honest, I find the notion of selling your virginity for anything, including higher education, extremely disconcerting. And while I advocate that women be both proud and in control of their sexuality, this seems like another thing entirely. </p> <p>Regardless of whether it is or isn't prostitution or a try at fame, it troubles me to think that a woman would consciously put herself in this position. What do you think of this endeavor? Is capitalizing on our virginity akin to <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1102339" >using our good looks to get ahead?</a> Are there ways in which you use your sexuality as a tool to get what you need or want? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1982130#comment Money News to Me prostitution Sex sexuality virgin Women Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1982130 http://dearsugar.com/1970534 <p>Yesterday, the Business section of <a href="http://nytimes.com" target="_blank">the New York Times</a> had an article addressing the significance of financial compatibility in marriage, likening its seriousness in making or breaking a marriage to that of sex and children. And, of course, it has me thinking about what it takes to make a successful long-term partnership beyond love. The <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/10/business/businessspecial3/10WED.html?pagewanted=1&amp;_r=1&amp;sq=marriage&amp;st=cse&amp;scp=6" target="_blank">article notes</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Marrying for love is a relatively recent phenomenon. For centuries, marriages were arranged affairs, aligning families for economic or political purposes or simply pooling the resources of those scraping by. Today, while most of us marry for romantic reasons, marriage at its core is still a financial union.</p></blockquote> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/37_2008/dv267033a.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" height="332" width="500"></span><br /> I know we're all grateful that we live in a time when love is valued, so it's somewhat disconcerting to think of a life-long partnership in business-related terms, like "financial union." If you're in love, it can be difficult to separate your intense emotions from the practicalities that go into making something work for the long haul, but sometimes you have to — financial strain can be a huge burden. </p> <p>What do you think? Are you good at considering your relationships from a more pragmatic point of view? And if so, which elements of compatibility matter most to you outside of a shared love? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1970534#comment Long Term Relationship Marriage Money News to Me Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1970534 http://dearsugar.com/1953787 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/37_2008/200266643-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="284" width="350"></span>Your boyfriend has been completely down on his luck for the past year; he had a car accident which resulted in medical bills, as well as issues with his student loans, and he has absolutely no financial help from his parents. He makes a decent salary, but he’s just not good at managing his finances. </p> <p>You’ve always been willing to help with the small things, like paying for dinner and a tank of gas, but now he’s come to you and says he needs a grand to pay for his rent. You have the money, so how do <i>you</i> handle this? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1953787#comment Boyfriend Problems Handle This Money Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1953787 http://dearsugar.com/1932946 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/36_2008/living.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="300" height="451"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My roommate moved to Seattle (my town) from Indiana at the end of June after I had secured a lease on an apartment. We had never met before, except online through a mutual hobby. She moved in time to go to an interview for a job she did not end up getting. A month went by before she found work, leaving me to pay the rent in its entirety, with the agreement that she'd pay me back once she found a job. Meanwhile, as she sat at home looking for a job all day, she did nothing to clean the apartment. I would come home from work, do the dishes, clean up the place, make dinner, and then go to bed. Rinse, repeat.</p> <p>She finally got a job, and then lost it three weeks later. This was not her fault, but regardless, it has been three weeks since she lost her job and she still does not have another. Not even a minimum wage job to tide her over until she finds a web design job she wants. And yet again, she fails to do anything around the apartment.</p> <p>I can't stand the fact that I'm living with someone I find to be irresponsible. In addition to the lack of cleaning, lack of job, and lack of ability to pay rent on time, I hate her dog. I walk in every night and the dog is all over me. She doesn't do anything to stop it, so I always feel like the bad guy for disciplining it. We are both on the lease. I've already inquired about switching roommates and the landlord said it wouldn't be a problem, but how do I tell her I want her out? She has no money and no job, but I'm simply miserable! — At My Wits End Emma</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1932946">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1932946#comment Advice living situation Money respect Roommate You Asked Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1932946 http://dearsugar.com/1910013 <p>Even if you’re not married, a relationship requires certain financial negotiations: <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1850881" >Who pays for what?</a> And when? Often the lines are easily drawn, but sometimes things can get complicated, especially if your boyfriend likes to spend more money than you. It can be difficult to maintain a budget if your partner doesn’t, not to mention that it can often be stressful on a relationship. Is that true for you? Do you find that your boyfriend’s spending habits affect your own? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/36_2008/200248305-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" height="333" width="500"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1910013#comment Budget habits Money personality traits Relationship Protocol Relationships Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1910013 http://dearsugar.com/1893958 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/35_2008/sting.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="338" height="506"></span><br><br>I have some overly generous friends, but I also have a few stingy friends — stingy with their time, their money, their food, you name it, they're stingy with it! While I understand the importance of keeping some things sacred, being stingy isn't the best attribute if you ask me. So do you have any stingy friends who take their selfishness to a whole other level? If so, how do you react to their behavior? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a><br /> <br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/1893958#comment Do Tell Friendship Money selfish stingy Mon, 01 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1893958 http://dearsugar.com/1892753 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/35_2008/engage_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="312" height="315"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years and our relationship took off quickly. I am not a materialistic person, but he goes out of his way to pamper me and buy me things — I think he thinks it's what makes me happy. I've told him that all I need is his love, but he still continues to shower me with gifts. We have wonderful times together, we share the same sense of humor and I love him, but sometimes I feel like we aren't on the same page. Despite all that, we got engaged on our one year anniversary. </p> <p>On my birthday, we had a little argument and completely out of the blue, he decided it wasn't going to work out with us, just two days before he made <i>me</i> promise to never leave <i>him.</i> I feel things really changed for us when we became engaged — his idea not mine — and he says he needs some time because he doesn't know how he feels. What am I supposed to do? I love him and I miss what I thought we had. Any suggestions? Taken Aback Tanya</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1892753">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1892753#comment Breakup engaged Insecure Love material things Money Relationships You Asked Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1892753 http://dearsugar.com/1880300 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/jewls.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="337" height="508"></span>One of my closest friends is single. She does very well for herself and whenever she wants to treat herself to something nice, she buys herself a nice piece of jewelry. She's of the mindset that since she's single and has the means to do so herself, she shouldn't wait around for a man to buy things for her! Since I don't have a man to shower me with diamonds either, I'm OK with buying myself fun jewelry, but I've got to be honest with you, I'm willing to wait for the nice things to come from my future significant other. What about you? Do you think buying yourself nice jewelry is a do or a don't? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1880300#comment A Do or a Don't Money Relationships single life Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1880300 http://dearsugar.com/1875580 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1875580"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1875580',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1875580');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/shop.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="308"></span>Even if you don't have <a href="http://dearsugar.com/636397" rel="nofollow">joint bank accounts</a>, certain couples still have quite an opinion as to where and how their significant other spends money. Generally speaking, women like to spend on <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1869744" rel="nofollow">material goods</a> and even if they aren't shopping beyond their means, some men just don't understand the importance of a new pair of shoes or flattering new jeans. But what is a woman to do if that's the case? Well hide her purchases, of course! So to all you shopaholics out there, tell me, do you hide the evidence of your shopping sprees from your significant other?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1875580" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Relationship Protocol: Do You Hide Purchases From Your Significant Other?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes, I throw away all the bags so he doesn't know I've been shopping. What he won't know won't hurt him!</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> It depends on what it is I bought!</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> No, we usually shop together so there's no need. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Other — Please share below.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1875580" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1875580#comment Dear Poll material things Money Relationship Protocol Shopping Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1875580 http://dearsugar.com/1867887 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My parents are divorced and I've lived in my mother's house for most of my life. I'm currently a student at a very prestigious college. My mom has never fulfilled her responsibilities as a mother. Throughout childhood, I was barely fed and lacked balanced nutrition. My meals were always frozen dinners that my mother bought in wholesale. I've had to work since I was 14 years old so I could pay for my academic competition fees, my own computer, and a lot of my personal expenses. Since my earnings were usually in cash, my mother would "borrow" from me but never pay it back. <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/33_2008/dv1694009.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="372" width="300"></span></p> <p>I have worked very hard to get where I am, but right now I am struggling to pay for college while my mother lives a lavish lifestyle beyond her means. In the three times that my mother has ever needed to fill out my financial aid applications, she has been four months past due, costing me thousands of dollars that she doesn't contribute to. I paid my first year of college on my own. When I asked my mother to help me with my second year, she acted surprised that I even needed to pay for college at all. </p> <p>She cries to me that she lives from paycheck to paycheck, but I've seen her collection of expensive perfume and designer sunglasses, and the entire basement piled with her clothes. My father is barely employed with a low salary. I feel terrible asking him for anything. He lives well below his means in order to pay child support and his bills. I'm working overtime, but I'm running out of ideas as the tuition payment deadline approaches. Do you have any advice on how to persuade my mother to help me?</p> <p> — Dead Broke Brooke</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1867887">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1867887#comment Advice Anger frustration Money mother School You Asked Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1867887 http://dearsugar.com/1866905 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1866905"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1866905',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1866905');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/33_2008/skd265682sdc.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="330" width="330"></span>With most couples I know, the woman usually has a big say when it comes to the man's <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1796675" rel="nofollow">wardrobe</a>. While this certainly isn’t true for everyone, it’s not surprising that many women in <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1700938" rel="nofollow">long-term relationships</a> actually do most of the shopping for the man. Though I do know many men with serious fashion sense, I know even more guys who would gladly wear the same tennis shoes and worn out T-shirt for 20 years if they could. So do you buy clothes for your boyfriend or do you trust him to hit the stores solo? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1866905" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Do You Buy Clothes For Your Boyfriend? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yea, but only as gifts. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Yes. I do the majority of his shopping.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> I just make him go with me.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Nope. It’s his responsibility.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="4" class="form-radio" /> I would, but he likes to do it on his own. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="5" class="form-radio" /> Other — I'll explain.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1866905" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1866905#comment Couples Dear Poll Marriage men Money Relationships Shopping Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1866905 http://dearsugar.com/1850881 <p>Gone are the days when the man automatically pays for everything. Since many women out there bring home more money than their significant others, the paying field seems to be evening itself out more and more. When I'm in a relationship, I treat as much as I can budget — if I can't swing paying for nice dinners, I'll be sure to buy breakfast or coffee in the mornings. So ladies, perhaps you make more money than your significant other, or maybe you don't make anywhere near as much as he does — whatever the case, how often do you treat? Are you pretty much 50/50, does he usually pick up the tab, or are you the one that tends to foot most of the bills?</p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/32_2008/joe.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image preview" width="460" height="371"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1850881#comment bills Money Relationship Relationship Protocol Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1850881 http://dearsugar.com/1845705 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/32_2008/sug.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="310" height="316"></span>DearSugar and Next Step Nina need your help. She and her boyfriend are very happy and in love, but she's ready for marriage and he wants to wait another two years before even talking about it! She's <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1790886" >not a fan of ultimatums</a>, but she doesn't want to wait around for him. What should she do?</p> <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, and we live together. I'm 24 and he is 26. We are both about a year into our great jobs and are doing well financially; we are even saving for a down-payment on a house. We've traveled together and visited both our families who seem to like us as a couple. We love each other and really push for each other to be the best we can be.</p> <p>We talk about how we will raise our children, where we want to travel, where we want to live, and what we want from our relationships. Overall, everything is great, but I'm feeling more and more ready for marriage. I'd like to be engaged and perhaps married in one to two years. When I brought this up, he was a bit nervous and said that he doesn't see himself married for <i>at least</i> two years from now — the exact timeline I have, but while I am ready for an engagement <i>now</i>, he doesn't want to start talking about marriage for another two years, which means more waiting for me. When his family asks him about us, he also sidesteps the topic of marriage. He says he loves me, he says I'm the one for him and he sees us together forever, but the word never comes out of his mouth.</p> <p>Should I just be patient and wait? If so, for how long? I hate ultimatums, but should I give one anyway? It's been two years and four months since we were official, and I just want to know! — Next Step Nina</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1845705#comment Advice Career DearSugar Needs Your Help engaged Family Living Together Marriage Money Relationships Sat, 09 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1845705 http://dearsugar.com/1850258 <p>Since we all spend more time with our co-workers than our loved ones, it makes sense that some of you have a desire to <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1808089" >work with your significant other</a>, but what about working with a family member? In Hollywood, parents oftentimes double as their children's managers, but oftentimes it can backfire, (remember what happened with Macaulay Culkin?) resulting in a tainted work and personal relationship. Having a momager seemed to work for Usher for a few years until news of a split hit the wire back in May, 2007. No one knows the details surrounding their breakup, but it couldn't have been all that bad because <a href="http://popsugar.com/1850032" >he's rehired her as his manager!</a> </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/32_2008/Usherand_Jason_293050_600.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image preview" width="550" height="365"></span></p> <p>I know my parents would only have <i>my</i> best interests at heart but even so, I'm not so sure it would be a good idea to mix business with family. What about you? Would working with your family members be a good idea or a bad idea? </p> <p><a href="http://www.wireimage.com/" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1850258#comment A Do or a Don't Breakup Career Co-Workers Family Macaulay Culkin Mom Money usher Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1850258 http://dearsugar.com/1818846 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/31_2008/couples.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="350"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. When it came time to resign our leases last spring, we both did as we knew it was much too soon to live together. He is 27 and pretty much has his life together while I'm 22, have a ton of debt, and am contemplating going back to school.</p> <p>This week my boyfriend told me that he is seriously considering buying a condo or an apartment. This news really scares me — does this mean we'll never get to live together? I don't really see myself moving into <i>his</i> house and paying <i>his</i> mortgage and it's really starting to stress me out. Am I overthinking this or should I just forget about cohabitation until we are actually considering buying a home <i>together?</i> — Insecure Indy</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1818846">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1818846#comment Advice bills Cohabiting Insecure Living Together Money Relationships You Asked Tue, 29 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1818846 http://dearsugar.com/1819185 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1819185"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1819185',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1819185');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/31_2008/funds_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="337" height="507"></span>After you've said "I do," it's time to start your life as husband and wife. Even though being a newlywed is no doubt exciting, there are still a lot of decisions to make, and <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/1785056" rel="nofollow">what to do with your money</a> should be pretty high on that list. Since times have changed since our parents got married, merging your bank accounts is no longer the obvious choice when it comes to financial planning. When you factor in duel incomes, prenups, and a high divorce rate into the equation, couples have to protect themselves and their money. Some couples choose to open one joint account and keep another one separate, others keep all their money completely independent of each others. There are those that believe what's mine is yours and merge everything. But is that a good idea? I've yet to experience this so tell me, is <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/943899" rel="nofollow">pooling all your money after getting married</a> a good or bad idea? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1819185" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Good Idea or Bad Idea: Merging Your Bank Accounts</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Good Idea: You're married now, why wouldn't you combine your funds into one account? </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Bad Idea: Without sounding too skeptical, you just never know.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> I think it's best to have one household account and keep everything else separate.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Other — Please share!</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1819185" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1819185#comment bank accounts good idea bad idea Marriage Money Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1819185 http://dearsugar.com/1814141 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1814141"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1814141',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1814141');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/30_2008/stk117385rke.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="320" width="320"></span>You’ve had a few miserable months at work — you’ve been forced to work late nights and nearly every weekend. It’s taken a huge toll on your energy level and <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1796841" rel="nofollow">your relationship, too.</a> You haven’t been getting along with your boyfriend, and just last week while walking home late at night your wallet was stolen. You’re at your wits end when you get a terrible phone call. Would it be worse if it's . . .</p> <p>This: The bank calling to let you know that someone has removed the majority of the already minimal funds in your account. You canceled the card, but apparently it was too late. Now, you have just $200, which won’t make a dent in your bills this month. </p> <p>Or . . .</p> <p>That: Your boyfriend letting you know that he wants to see other people? You knew things were bad, but you didn’t know just how terrible they were in his mind. When you plead with him, he stands his ground. </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1814141" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>This or That: Broke or Brokenhearted? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> This — You’re broke and violated. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> That — Your boyfriend’s had enough. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1814141" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1814141#comment Breakup Money sadness Stress This or That Mon, 28 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1814141 http://dearsugar.com/1810135 <p>Though money makes the world go round, it can also lead to some uncomfortable situations. We all know that <a href="http://dearsugar.com/219950" >it's a bad idea to loan money to friends</a> yet it's sometimes inevitable. For instance when one person purchases concert tickets for a group of friends, or when one person's credit card is charged for a shared hotel room — whatever the situation, there will come a time when you'll have to ask for what you're owed. And even when I know I'll get the money back, bringing up the conversation is always awkward for me. Am I alone on this one or does asking your friends for money that's owed make you feel uneasy, too?<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/30_2008/money.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image preview" width="481" height="355"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1810135#comment Friendship Honesty Money Where Do You Stand Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1810135 http://dearsugar.com/1806993 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/30_2008/bride.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="310" height="316"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I recently got engaged, and my fiancé and I are planning a small destination wedding. We both come from fairly large families and them alone is already 50 guests, which leaves very little room for friends.</p> <p>I am curious to see what the general opinion is about having a small destination wedding (50 or so) and then having another party, say in my hometown, where all of our family, friends, and extended family could attend. I know a destination wedding might be too pricey for some of our guests so I want to be able to accommodate everyone. I know etiquette dictates that if you invite someone to an engagement party or shower you should also invite them to the wedding, but is asking certain guests to attend one wedding and not the other in poor taste? And is asking other guests to attend both selfish? I don't want to be looked at as a <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/bridezilla" >Bridezilla!</a> — Planning My Wedding Miranda</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1806993">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1806993#comment Advice bridezilla Money Wedding You Asked Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1806993 http://dearsugar.com/1804433 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/30_2008/band.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="337" height="507"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I've been with my current boyfriend for five months now and love him to death. He is a struggling musician chasing his dream and I am more than supportive of him. He works very hard at two jobs, and when he isn't working, he's writing music with his band, performing or touring the country. Most of his income goes to paying rent and supporting the band, which makes things really tough for him. I help him out the best I can, leave him some money so he can get to work on the subway or some cash so he can get some food, and I would never think to complain about it. He has a timeline set — if his music aspirations don't come to fruition by his set date then he plans to go back to school and pursue a different career, having music be more of a hobby. </p> <p>But lately it seems like every time I talk to him he's sad. He's sad because he misses me, he's sad because he can't eat that day, or he's sad because he owes someone money for rent or a band thing. These are all legitimate reasons to be upset, but it's constant and draining on both of us. I've battled depression for a long time and knowing that I can't rescue him constantly kills me. He does the best he can and I want to be there to support him, but every time we talk I feel really down because I can't do more. I've talked to him about this but we don't know how to resolve it. He doesn't want to make me sad, but I don't want him to hide his problems from me either. I just don't know what to do to make things more positive for both of us. Do you have any suggestions? — Down in the Dumps Dede</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1804433">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1804433#comment Advice long distance relationship Money Relationships You Asked Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1804433 http://dearsugar.com/1797081 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/29_2008/stk100432cor.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="313" height="313"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My teenage daughter plays sports and has since she was in grade school. Not long after she started, a woman that lives in our town asked to carpool. I was OK with it at first but over the last five years, it has evolved from carpooling to my family being completely responsible for her kids without any compensation. When asked at the beginning of a year or season if I wanted to carpool again, I've said no over and over, but before long, their kids are just jumping into our car! We live 15 miles from school so it's not like I can just leave them there alone. </p> <p>School is getting ready to start in a month and I'm dreading it. The price of gas has skyrocketed and while I don't mind paying for my kid to do this stuff, I have a major problem with these kids freeloading off my family. How do I keep these girls from asking for a ride every day? They don't seem to understand "No." — Fed Up Felisha</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1797081">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1797081#comment Children Money No saying no You Asked Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1797081 http://dearsugar.com/1772782 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/28_2008/200320996-001.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="325" width="325"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I'm a 23-year-old, recent college graduate living with my mom and her new husband. My mother and I have had issues with our relationship for years. I've always been her scapegoat whenever she needs to vent, which is almost every day. She seems to love belittling me. Her new husband is extremely difficult to live with — he's very condescending and puts other people down to lift up his spirits. </p> <p>My mother puts her husband over me and my other siblings. She blatantly states that she doesn't care if what she says or does makes us feel bad. She consistently minimizes my contribution to the household, ignoring the fact that I have over $25,000 in student loans to pay off (with no help from her). I can't take much more, but right now I'm not financially able to move out. I have a job, but when grad school starts in two months, I have no choice but to quit. I don't know what to do or how to cope with this. I feel stuck in a really tight place. Any suggestions? </p> <p>— Trapped Trina</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1772782">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1772782#comment Advice Budget Emotional abuse Family Money You Asked Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1772782 http://dearsugar.com/1766767 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/28_2008/stk23959hof.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="421" width="300"></span>There’s nothing quite like a night out on the town with friends to burn a hole in your pocketbook. In fact, hanging out with people — even a significant other — who aren’t trying to save money can put a serious damper on any <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/tags/budget" >budget</a> you might have in place. But there are some great ways to maintain your savings plan while also enjoying the finer things! To see my ideas, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1766767">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1766767#comment Advice Budget Money socializing The How-To Lounge Wed, 09 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1766767 http://dearsugar.com/1734058 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/26_2008/56677557.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="450" width="300"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I was supposed to sing at a friend's wedding coming up this Fall. My travel for the wedding has already been booked, with the majority being nonrefundable. I just got an update from the bride-to-be that she's called off the wedding with no chance of reconciling with her mate. Do I count the $400 as a loss due to a good friendship, or do I ask for some kind of reimbursement during this obviously hard time?</p> <p>— Singing Sasha</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1734058">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1734058#comment Advice Etiquette Friendship Money You Asked Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1734058 http://dearsugar.com/1732354 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/26_2008/dv1694012.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="385" width="300"></span>Though you have quite a few thrifty friends who you’re always more than happy to oblige by grabbing deli sandwiches over a dinner out, or a long walk instead of a trip to the movie theater, one friend in particular is notoriously stingy with her dollars. She constantly complains about being broke. In fact, half the time you end up paying the way for both of you and don’t see a dime in return.</p> <p>When using her computer, you get a brief glimpse of her bank statement open on her screen. In her checking account alone she has three times as much money as you do. You’re totally shocked and can’t help but feel taken advantage of — she's been lying to you. <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/money" >Money</a> is always awkward, so how would <i>you</i> handle this? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1732354#comment Finances Friends Handle This Lying Money Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1732354 http://dearsugar.com/1712570 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/25_2008/shopping.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="335" height="510"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I love beautiful things. Sometimes they are expensive (such as an Hermes Birkin) and other times they are cute outfits at H&amp;M. I splurge and I save and then I splurge again. I'm never in credit card debt, and I spend my own money, making sure all the bills are paid, I've contributed to my retirement accounts, and I have put some money away for savings and emergency funds.</p> <p>My boyfriend also has a well paid job; we live together and he saves most of his money. He doesn't have any habits that require money, we don't go out often to eat, but we have fun and we love each other deeply. However, he always argues with me and gets upset over my spending of my money. Whether it's a new pair of shoes or a new handbag, I sometimes want to just lie and not tell him I have something new or how much it cost. He says it's not the amount of money I spend, but the fact that I love to spend money on expensive things that are materialistic and excessive. I've tried budgeting and making changes so I don't end up spending an entire paycheck, but I can't give up my Louboutins and Chanels. They are who I am and I love fashion, beauty, style and glamour.</p> <p>Can our relationship work? Are there solutions for both him and myself to make it work? We talk about it every few months when I purchase something, getting upset and then getting over it. I'm tired of the cycle, and I wish there was a way to change this! We come from different backgrounds and he is against materialism and strives for simplicity and happiness in the smallest things. Help! — Shopaholic Sophie</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1712570">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1712570#comment Advice Money Relationships You Asked Tue, 17 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1712570 http://dearsugar.com/1664890 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/22_2008/skd268423sdc.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="440" width="300"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I am 26, have a great job, and live on my own. I have been dating a guy for seven months now who is 23, lives with his parents, goes to college, and works full time. It's not his emotional maturity that I'm concerned about, rather his place in life. He's never been on his own and he's cheap, which is one of the reasons I think he's never moved out. </p> <p>We go out to eat sometimes but I always feel awkward because I don't know who should pay — though he does offer frequently. I cook a lot for us, but he never pitches in on groceries — I don't ask him to. He never says "thank you" or helps clean up. He also says he's going to get me things, but doesn't follow through. He just got a new car, but he has very few bills to pay outside of that. He doesn't pay rent, buy groceries, or pay for school. He's never been on his own so I don't know if he'll always be like this or if he just needs to experience things to appreciate them.</p> <p>On the flip side, he mentions our future together all the time. He got me a nice gift for Christmas and my birthday. He's a very sweet guy — he's always affectionate, polite, and makes me laugh. I think he has good intentions, but he's in desperate need of guidance. I don't want to be a nag but I feel like I put more into the relationship than he does. I guess I have standards and he's not meeting them. I know good guys are hard to find and I would really like to make it work, but I think I need more. Am I being selfish? Are we just in two different stages in life? Will he grow out of this? Please help!</p> <p>— More Mature Marian</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1664890">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1664890#comment Advice age difference Boyfriend Problems Money You Asked Thu, 29 May 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1664890 http://dearsugar.com/1656279 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1656279"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1656279',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1656279');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/21_2008/200542671-001.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="450" width="300"></span>You know that big group dinners can be a pain, but it’s a good friend’s birthday so you decide to make the most of her party. You’re having an OK time, except you feel like the odd woman out when the other girl's start up a conversation with a group of guys one table over. Before you know it, you're practically the last one left at the table while the rest of them — with the guys — have wandered over to the bar. You'd love to just leave, but unfortunately you're stuck there for the moment. Would it be worse if . . .</p> <p>This: The server is waiting for the bill to be paid, and staring at you mercilessly? You manage to get <i>some</i> money from the others, but the majority of it ends up on your credit card. </p> <p>Or…</p> <p>That: You’re stuck keeping the group of guys’ not-so-cool friend company? He’s a nice guy, but you’re completely miserable with him, not to mention that you can already tell he’s getting the wrong idea. </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1656279" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>This or That: Stuck With the Bill or the Nerd?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> This — You’re stuck with the massive bill.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> That — You’re trapped with the one no one else wants. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1656279" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1656279#comment annoyance awkward Friends Money This or That Wed, 28 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1656279 http://dearsugar.com/1653037 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1653037"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1653037',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1653037');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/21_2008/15787386.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="400" width="278"></span>With reality television stars and celebutantes making up the new-school Hollywood elite, sometimes it seems like just about anyone can relish in some fame — at least for a little while. In fact, <a href="http://www.lilsugar.com/1093990" rel="nofollow">Living Lohan</a> with Dina and her youngest daughter Ali, which follows Ali's attempts to achieve stardom, premieres this weekend on E!. </p> <p>I can’t say the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle doesn’t sound intriguing, but I don’t think I’d want to follow in <a href="http://popsugar.com/tags/lindsay+lohan" rel="nofollow">Lindsay Lohan's</a> footsteps, big sister or not. Like so many young starlets, she's more known for her debauchery than her talent these days, and we all know that the scrutiny can <a href="http://popsugar.com/tags/britney+spears" rel="nofollow">take its toll</a>. Sure, making millions for doing just about nothing sounds great, but with all these hot messes traipsing around, would you even want to be famous if you could? </p> <p><a href="http://www.wireimage.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1653037" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Would You Want to Be Famous? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> No way — It's not worth the toll it takes.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Definitely — I'd love the celebrity life.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> I might do it, for the the right paycheck!</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Undecided — I'll explain.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1653037" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1653037#comment Celebrity Poll Dear Poll Money perceptions Success Fri, 23 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1653037 http://dearsugar.com/1626826 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/20_2008/dearsug.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="337" height="506"></span>DearSugar and Middle Class Melissa need your help. She's in a relationship with a man who comes from an upper class family and has all upper class friends. She is starting to feel a rift in her relationship because she's unable to relate to his lifestyle. Though she loves her boyfriend, she's questioning if it's possible to have a happy and successful relationship with someone who comes from a different "class." What do you think? Any advice you could offer up would be a great help to her.</p> <p>Dear Sugar,<br /> I'm in a relationship with a guy who comes from a completely different background than me. I've never been the type of girl who considers money or class when it comes to boyfriends. I've always held the view that love and<br /> material possessions are not mutually exclusive. I would never <i>not</i> date a guy because he came from a poor family, and likewise, I would never <i>not</i> date a guy because he was wealthy. I myself am an intelligent, open-minded 23-year-old who comes from a middle-class background. In my past, I have tended to date guys with backgrounds similar to myself however, for the past year, I've been in an exclusive relationship with a guy who comes from a wealthy family. He was shipped off to boarding school at the age of 14, has a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, and has lived and traveled all over the world. He's a 28-year-old artist who does not have a "real" job. He has no health insurance, and his rent and other bills are taken care of by his parents, although he does send them money when he manages to sell artwork from time to time. </p> <p>I've never been jealous of his comfortable situation, and until recent months, it had never been an issue whatsoever. But recently, I have found myself starting to get annoyed by his lack of sensitivity. For example, he refuses to go to "normal" restaurants or supermarkets because he only eats organic foods. I however, cannot afford to always go to these expensive places, and because of his "choice of profession," he's not exactly generous when it comes to picking up the tab. Also, whenever I'm spending time with him and his friends, they talk about things that I can never relate to — their favorite restaurants in Mexico, experiences they've had at socialite parties, what it was like living in Berlin for the summer — you get the idea. </p> <p>In these instances, I'm left sitting there with nothing to say, and it makes me feel completely worthless. I have always been proud of the accomplishments I've had in my life but he doesn't seem to ever acknowledge them. I know that he doesn't mean to hurt me, I think he's just used to dating girls more like him. I've tried to talk to him about this, but he assures me that he doesn't in any way think that he's "better than me" so is this just the kind of thing that happens when you date someone outside of your "class" or is he just a jerk? For the most part our relationship is good. I care about him a lot. He is intelligent, talented, and makes me strive to be a better person, I just don't want to lose myself in the process. </p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1626826#comment Advice Dating DearSugar Needs Your Help Money Relationships Sat, 17 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1626826 http://dearsugar.com/1612273 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/19_2008/AA028664.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="450" width="300"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>Outside of restaurants, I just never know when to tip, and I'm always left feeling awkward and embarrassed. The other day I had a facial done at a privately operated salon. When I went to pay, I didn't tip the owner, assuming that since I had tipped the employee who gave me the facial, that would be fine. I immediately sensed a strange vibe from the woman and assumed I must have made a mistake. But when it comes to employee-performed services like haircuts, taxi drivers, bellhops, and delivery services, I just never know how much I should be giving. Can you please help me out? I'm tired of feeling foolish and cheap!</p> <p>— Tip Time Tamara</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1612273">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1612273#comment Advice Etiquette Money Tipping You Asked Fri, 09 May 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1612273 http://dearsugar.com/1612063 <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/Money" >Money</a> is just one of those things that has the ability to make even the most even-keeled person feel uncomfortable. Of course it's a topic that needs to be discussed when you're in <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1608055" >relationship</a>, but what about with friends? While I understand there is a time and a place for money talk, it can bring a real sense of awkwardness to the table when <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1604647" >friends ask inappropriate questions</a> like how much something costs or how much money you make. I know this is a touchy subject, so ladies, where do you stand on talking about money with friends?<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/19_2008/friends_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline center image preview" width="507" height="337"></span></p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1612063#comment awkward Friendship Money Relationships Where Do You Stand Fri, 09 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1612063 http://dearsugar.com/1608055 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/19_2008/shop.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="300"></span>Money is one of those things that has the ability to break a relationship. If both partners aren't on the same page about saving and spending their money, there could easily be trouble in paradise! With that said, I was shocked to read a statistic in the June issue of <a href="http://www.glamour.com/" target="_blank">Glamour</a>, which stated that 40 percent of women <i>never</i> talk about their spending habits with their partners. Now I can understand the occasional secret shopping trip, even the notion of hiding the evidence of a spending binge, but not talking about how or where you want to spend/save your money sounds a wee bit irresponsible, even if you have your own bank account. So ladies, tell me, do you talk to your significant other about your spending habits or are you part of the 40 percent that keeps mum? </p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1608055#comment glamour magazine Money News to Me Relationships Trust Wed, 07 May 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1608055 http://dearsugar.com/1604901 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/19_2008/check_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="300"></span>If you're like me, you're highly anticipating that <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/tags/rebate+check" >rebate check</a>! Even though I'm not <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/1592332" >scheduled to get mine</a> until May 9, I know exactly what I'm going to do with it. </p> <p>I've always considered tax refunds as free money, and back in my less responsible days, I'd use it to buy something I had my eye on, but this year I'm not even letting that money get comfortable in my bank account — it's going straight to my bills. So what about you? What do you plan on doing with your rebate? Do you consider it free money to do something special with or are you taking the mature route and using that money more sensibly?</p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1604901#comment irresponsible Money News to Me rebate check Tue, 06 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1604901 http://dearsugar.com/1575695 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/17_2008/75288215.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="450" width="300"></span>You and your boyfriend have been living together for the past two years in a small apartment. You’ve both been wanting to upgrade to something a little bigger so you’ve been trying to save diligently in order to make it happen. </p> <p>One day you overhear your boyfriend on the phone with a friend complaining about how he lost $2,000 in an online poker match. To add insult to injury, he references previous losses as well and you didn't even know that he was <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tags/gambling" >gambling</a>! You’re completely shocked and upset. You want to walk in there and scream at him for wasting that much money on a game when he should be saving, but then again, it's technically his money, not yours, so you're not sure what you can say. How do <i>you</i> handle this? </p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1575695#comment Boyfriend Problems gambling Handle This Lying Money Secrets Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1575695 http://dearsugar.com/1571755 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/17_2008/stressed.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="313" height="313"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for five months now but we've know each other for two years. We are very much in love, and have talked about getting married one day. We are both still young, and while I have graduated college and have a stable, well-paying job, he does not. The topic of his career came up today and he asked me to choose a path for him. He says that it's not only him he is thinking of now, it's both of us, so it's only "proper" that I have a say in what he chooses as a career. He even asked me how much money I need him to make each year. Not only that, but he is already thinking about getting married as soon as we can afford it.</p> <p>He is putting so much pressure on me, not only by asking me to choose a career for him, but also in planning our future so prematurely. I tell him to just take each day as it comes, and to focus on one thing at a time, but he insists that he needs to plan everything now in order to be ready in the future. I love him very much, and I am pretty sure that I would like to spend my life with him, but we have only been dating five months and I'm terrified that the pressure he is putting on us will drive us apart. How can I talk to him without hurting his feelings or our relationship?<br /> — Feeling the Pressure Paulie</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1571755">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1571755#comment Advice Career Money pressure Relationships Trust You Asked Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1571755 http://dearsugar.com/1568554 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/17_2008/200266643-001.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="285" width="350"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. I recently started trying to come up with a gift idea for him for our anniversary this year. I asked if he needed any sports equipment, since he plays on multiple intramural teams. He said he could really use new soccer cleats, and so I happily agreed to get them for him. Then he tells me that the ones he wants cost $200. I told him that I had intended on spending a good amount, and he replied that he wasn't. He did the same thing on Christmas, and every year on my birthday, he complains that he "has to buy me a gift."</p> <p>I know money is tight right now, but his delivery really hurts my feelings. I don't have extra money laying around, but it makes me happy to spend what I do have on the ones I love. I don't want to seem like the girlfriend who needs her boyfriend to buy her things, but it would be nice if when he did, he didn't complain about it. What should I do? Is this just the way he is? </p> <p>— Gift Trouble Gwynn</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1568554">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1568554#comment Advice Money Relationship Issues You Asked Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1568554 http://dearsugar.com/1570590 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1570590"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1570590',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1570590');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/17_2008/73105793.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="450" width="300"></span>I think we can all agree that the worst part of being in a wedding is the expense. Though traditionally wedding attendants pay for their own attire and travel expenses, that particular rule has never made much sense to me. Obviously in some cases, especially when it’s a large wedding party, expecting the bride and groom to pay seems unrealistic, but I just don’t know how I feel about this one. Proper etiquette aside, who do you think should pay for the bridesmaid expenses? </p> <p>To see all of our wedding coverage, check out <a href="http://www.idosugar.com" rel="nofollow">IDoSugar.com</a>.</p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1570590" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> The bride and groom – it’s their wedding.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> The attendants – it’s traditional.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Other — Please explain.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1570590" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1570590#comment 2008 wedding 2008 wedding planning bridesmaid Dear Poll Etiquette Money Wedding wedding planning Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1570590 http://dearsugar.com/1567878 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1567878"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1567878',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1567878');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p>Being a celebrity means having a voice, and when stars use their voices to better our world, I can't help but be turned on. It's no secret that celebs have <a href="http://dearsugar.com/456061" rel="nofollow">endless perks</a>, but when they use their free time, spare money, and influential power of speech in a meaningful way, my envy goes by the wayside. OK, now that my PC statement is complete, I have to be honest: Watching good-looking Hollywood men be charitable is just hot! Are you with me? Tell me ladies, does seeing someone give back make him even hotter in your book like it does mine? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/17_2008/charity.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline center image preview" width="550" height="168"></span></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1567878" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Does Giving Back Make Him Hotter? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes, there's nothing sexier than helping the less fortunate. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> No, it doesn't make them sexier per se, but it's still really nice to see. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Celebrities should give back whether or not it's sexy. When you have that kind of influence, it's the right thing to do.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Other: Please share!</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1567878" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1567878#comment Celebrity Perks Celebrity Poll charity Dear Poll Money Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1567878 http://dearsugar.com/1533149 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/15_2008/med914058.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="450" width="300"></span>Things have finally come to a head in your rather tumultuous relationship with your boyfriend, and you’ve finally gotten the courage to pull the plug. The only problem is that he still owes you the $2,000 that you loaned him over six months ago. You now realize that loaning him anything was a rather stupid move, but you really want to get your money back. </p> <p>He’s completely irresponsible, which is half the reason why you’re ending things with him to begin with, so you know it's not going to be as simple as just asking him nicely. You need that money to pay your credit card bill so how would <i>you</i> handle this? </p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1533149#comment Boyfriend Breakup Handle This Mistake Money Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1533149 http://dearsugar.com/1523868 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl0/0/3362/14_2008/stk319190rkn.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="454" width="300"></span>Your friend has a tendency to ask you for money. It’s never for anything over $20, but 10 bucks for a drink here, and five bucks for extra cab fare there is starting to add up. You also know she has a spending problem — she’s constantly shopping and splurging on expensive trips and restaurants. She’s always lived beyond her means, but she’s really been taking it to an extreme lately. </p> <p>You want to say no the next time she asks for money, but you’re afraid it will cause a rift in your friendship. She’s incredibly important to you, and she truly is a wonderful friend, but she’s very sensitive on money matters, so how do <i>you</i> handle this</p> <p><a href="http://legacycreative.gettyimages.com/source/home/home.aspx" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1523868#comment Confrontation Friends Friendship Handle This Money Relationships Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1523868 http://dearsugar.com/1514955 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl0/0/3362/14_2008/engaged.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="300"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I'm recently engaged (yay!), and my fiance and I are currently planning our wedding. We met in college and moved to a city where neither one of us has family. We've since made a ton of friends and feel that we have found our new home. Although we love where we live, we've both always dreamed about having a destination wedding. I know attending weddings is expensive, but since we don't have family where we live, most everyone will have to trave