http://dearsugar.com/ Just ask. en http://dearsugar.com/2521198 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2521198"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2521198',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2521198');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p>Most of you feel that <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1847934" >a little PDA goes a long way</a>, but showing some affection toward your significant other is a nice way to communicate your love, at least in my opinion! When you're around family, though, the rules tend to change. Of course it depends on the couple and the family, but in your situation, tell me, are you affectionate with your significant other in front of your family? <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/48_2008/91f6c8b725f2de32_affection.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image xxlarge" width="477" height="358"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> <p><br clear=all></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2521198" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Are You Affectionate in Front of Your Family? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes, why not!</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> No, it's just not our thing. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> We might exchange a peck here and there, but we never make others feel uncomfortable. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Other — Please explain below.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2521198" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2521198#comment affection Dear Poll Family Love Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2521198 http://dearsugar.com/2521249 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/d0728c5cf8ba0c5a_love.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="253" height="320"></span>Falling in love means something different to everyone, but it's usually a pretty overwhelming experience. Love can also be tricky though. I don't know about you, but I've definitely <i>thought</i> I was in love before, only to realize later down the road that it wasn't love at all! Since finding it doesn't happen all that often, do tell, when do you <i>know</i> you're in love? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> <p><br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/2521249#comment Do Tell Emotions Love Relationships Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2521249 http://dearsugar.com/2509398 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/47_2008/b393bea20adb6a1b_thoughtful.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months now. From the start, I was aware that he suffered from mild depression but he happily and routinely takes medication for it. In the beginning, he was perfectly affectionate. The sex was incredible and I truly felt an emotional connection with him. He told me he did, too.</p> <p>We met at work; I am a nurse and he worked on site in the maintenance department. About a month in, he was laid off and has since been collecting unemployment. He has been jobless for just about three months. He actively looked for a job for about a month, but he quickly gave up. He is being choosy — in my mind far too picky — and I feel like at this point, he doesn't have the right to do so. This is weighing heavily on our relationship. He is no longer affectionate. He is cold and distant to me. He makes no effort to hold a conversation with me, or think of things to do together. I can't explain it, but his tone has changed. He never initiates sex, and sometimes he even turns it down. </p> <p>I can't take this pain much longer. I cook for him, clean his apartment, am at his doorstep within a half hour of him telling me he's lonely or misses me; I've even applied for jobs for him! I feel unappreciated, lonely, hurt, and simply unloved. What should I do? — Unloved Lauren </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2509398">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2509398#comment Advice Love Relationship Sex unemployed You Asked Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2509398 http://dearsugar.com/2481742 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2481742"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2481742',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2481742');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p>If you've ever thought the notion of love at first sight was only in the movies, I bet you'd be surprised to know that it does happen in real life too. I've never experienced it before — I've experienced <i>lust</i> at first sight — but I've heard people say they knew the moment they laid eyes on their significant other that he was the one! Even if you've yet to feel it, tell me, do you believe in love at first sight? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/46_2008/b8d2ada3b0541322_first_sight.xxlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image xxlarge" width="500" height="333"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2481742" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Do You Believe in Love at First Sight? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic and totally believe in love at first sight! </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> No, I don't think it's possible. </label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2481742" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2481742#comment Dear Poll Love Love at First Sight movies Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2481742 http://dearsugar.com/2464938 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/45f280ae9ffe762e_married.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="267" height="400"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I have a serious dilemma. My fiancé and I have been together for four and a half years, living together for three, and engaged for five months. We set a date and everything was great, except I started to get very nervous — I have major cold feet! I love him dearly and our relationship is awesome except for a few things: I wish we had a better sex life and I struggle with having more of a social need than him. I want a little spontaneity in my life, I am only 23!</p> <p>Though I'm having cold feet, I don't want to lose such a great person by letting my fear get the best of me. I decided that I needed to be alone and live by myself for a while so I could figure this all this out. He moved out a week ago, and I am not missing him that much. I see him everyday and we are still together, we're just living separately. </p> <p>I am completely confused and need advice as to what to do. Does age really matter when it comes to marriage? Does hot sex really matter? Please help! I'd rather not get married then get married and get divorced. — Cold Feet Courtney </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2464938">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2464938#comment cold feet Love Marriage Relationships Sex You Asked Thu, 06 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2464938 http://dearsugar.com/2466698 <div id="guesswho-view-2466698"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/guesswho/view/2466698',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var guesswho=$('guesswho-view-2466698');guesswho.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p>Guess who said this about the man in her life? <br><br> "I'd always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me."</p><p><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/45_2008/ab254f441c0477c0_guess-who.jpg" alt="Guess Who Said It?" title="Guess Who Said It?" class="image preview" height="409" width="275" /></p><p><form action="/2466698" method="post" id="guesswho_guess"> <div><div class="guesswho_form"><div class="form-item"> <input type="text" maxlength="128" name="edit[guess]" id="edit-guess" size="20" value="" class="form-text form-autocomplete" /> </div> <input class="autocomplete" type="hidden" id="edit-guess-autocomplete" value="http://dearsugar.com/taxonomy/autocomplete/2" disabled="disabled" /><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2466698" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Guess" class="form-submit" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="I Give Up" class="form-submit" /> <input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="guesswho_guess" /> </div> </div></form> </p></noscript> http://dearsugar.com/2466698#comment Celebrity Guess who guess who said it Love Relationships Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:30:00 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2466698 http://dearsugar.com/2453228 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/d23552692a051446_Steve.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span>Have you ever wanted to know exactly what he was thinking when dealing with guy trouble? I know I have, so if you're interested in getting an unbiased perspective from a man's point of view, you're in luck! I'm thrilled with the opportunity to have Steve Santagati — the Author of the <b>New York Times</b> best-selling book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1225651203&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Manual</a> — answer some of your burning questions and concerns when it comes to dating, love, and how men think. He's a veteran at giving street-smart, straight-to-the-point advice, so ladies, tell me, what do you want to ask Steve about men? This is your chance to get answers so don't hold back!</p> <p>To see more from Steve Santagati, click <a href="http://badboysfinishfirst.com/" target="_blank">here</a>, and to purchase <b>The Manual</b>, click <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Explains-Think-Mate-Women/dp/030734570X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1225651203&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><a href="http://sueburdick.com/" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2453228#comment Advice Dating Love Relationships Steve Santagati Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:03:29 -0800 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2453228 http://dearsugar.com/2444495 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/6728085050f85c39_love-hate.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="275" height="364"></span>If you've ever had a love/hate relationship with someone, you know how frustrating and confusing it can feel, but according to <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUSTRE49S01J20081029?feedType=RSS&amp;feedName=scienceNews" target="_blank">new research</a>, there's a reason why these kinds of relationships are so common. In a recent study, participants were shown images of individuals they hated and the brain activity pattern it revealed partially occurs in areas of the brain activated by romantic love as well. Written in the Public Library of Science journal PLoS One, researchers said, "This linkage may account for why love and hate are so closely linked to each other in life. Our results show that there is a unique pattern of activity in the brain in the context of hate." The study also revealed one conclusion to this research:<br /> <blockquote>While both emotions are all-consuming passions, it may be that people in love are often less critical and judgmental about their partner but need to maintain their focus when dealing with a hated rival.</p></blockquote> <p>Since there's such a thin line between love and hate, tell me ladies, have you ever been in a love/hate relationship before? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2444495#comment Dating hate Love News to Me Relationships Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2444495 http://dearsugar.com/2435887 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/b39b54450077530b_mother-and-daughter.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="265" height="320"></span>How many times do you hear someone say that her mom drives her nuts? I hear it all the time, and truth be told, I've said it my fair share of times too. Now don't get me wrong, I love my mom; I'm very fortunate to have the relationship I do with her, but sometimes her over-protective nature and smothering affection can be a little too much. And even though she's always there for me — whether it's to <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2380709" >give advice</a> or offer a listening ear — do tell, does your mom ever just drive <i>you</i> nuts? And if so, what is it specifically that gets on your nerves? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2435887#comment Advice Do Tell Family Love Mom Parents Wed, 29 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2435887 http://dearsugar.com/2426375 <p>I have a feeling it's just a celebrity thing, but it seems like whenever a single woman is seen dining or socializing with a single man, they're all of a sudden perceived to be romantically involved. In Jennifer Aniston's case — who was recently seen <a href="http://popsugar.com/2425627" >having dinner with Gerard Butler</a> — I think the public just wants to see her <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2393973" >attached</a>, but does this kind of speculation happen in your life too? Do people automatically assume you're hooking up with the guy you're spending time with? Or do you automatically assume that of your friends? I'm curious to know if your first instincts go to romance instead of friendship like it clearly does in Hollywood.<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/44_2008/e37917a670f65af0_dating.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline center image xlarger" width="400" height="300"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2426375#comment Celebrity Dating Hollywood Jennifer Aniston Love Relationships Mon, 27 Oct 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2426375 http://dearsugar.com/2419230 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/43_2008/6914a4139e81b9cf_Couple-Happy.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image xxlarge" height="451" width="300"></span>There’s something extra meaningful when you get praise from a significant other. Of course, a compliment is always nice, but when it comes from your loved one, it tends to hold more meaning. That kind of positive energy really goes a long way in keeping the romance alive. How often do you get compliments and praise from your significant other? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a><br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/2419230#comment affection Compliment flattery Love Relationship Protocol Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2419230 http://dearsugar.com/2393973 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/43_2008/2601de6abae45080_jennifer-aniston.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="268" height="400"></span>Is it just me or does Jennifer Aniston catch a lot of flack for being single? It seems as though people pity her because she's been unlucky in love while her ex has moved on to be a happy family man, but are we more upset about her love life than she is? Sure, dealing with a failed relationship is tough, but Jennifer seems to be doing just fine on her own. </p> <p>It's a common desire to <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2036987" >meet someone you want to settle down with</a>, but timing is everything and a connection is a must. We all know that finding a match is tough, but have you ever felt sorry for someone who's still on the search for their Mr. Right? </p> <p><a href=http://wireimage.com/>Source</a><br /> <br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/2393973#comment Celebrity Jennifer Aniston Love Relationships single life Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2393973 http://dearsugar.com/2393908 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I have been in relationship after relationship. I have put myself on dating sites, met guys in bars, through friends, blind dates — you name it, I have done it. I've met some really nice guys out there but for some reason, I cannot commit. So many articles, TV shows, and therapists say that if a woman has issues with her father, she is doomed when it comes to relationships. In my case, I never met my father. He left my mother when she was pregnant with me. Since then, my mother has remarried and as a child, her husband adopted me and is now who I consider my "real" dad. </p> <p>Over the years, my relationship with my father has been rocky but in the end he has always been the one that is there for me. I do have a male figure in my life, so are the unresolved issues of not knowing who my biological father is responsible for my fear of commitment? Is it possible to find security in a relationship with a man without meeting my biological father? — Single Sally</p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/43_2008/18b91f2ca132075c_daddys.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline center image xlarger" width="400" height="266"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2393908">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2393908#comment commitment daddy issues Family Love Relationships You Asked Wed, 22 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2393908 http://dearsugar.com/2370162 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/forever.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span><br><br>When a couple heads down the aisle, they promise forever to each other. But committing to one person for a lifetime can be extremely nerve-wracking, regardless of how much you love each other. Having <a href="http://dearsugar.com/294164" >cold feet</a> on your wedding day is somewhat normal, but there are many people out there who fear commitment like the plague. So where do you stand on the notion of forever? Does it excite you or make you run for the hills? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> <p><br clear=all></p> http://dearsugar.com/2370162#comment live forever Love Marriage Relationships Wedding Where Do You Stand Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2370162 http://dearsugar.com/2349229 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/homesick.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarge" width="257" height="320"></span>DearSugar and Homesick Hayden need your help. She moved to Canada to be with the man she loves, but is having a hard time adjusting to her new life. She's unable to work until her visa is granted and she feels alienated at home while her boyfriend's gone all day working hard to support them both. If you've ever picked up and moved someplace where you didn't know anyone, go ahead and tell Hayden what worked for you while you got settled. </p> <p>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for sometime now. We had been doing the whole long distance thing but it just wasn't working anymore, so we decided that one of us had to move so we could be together. He has a house and a great, well-paying job so it didn't take long to decide that I was the one who had to relocate. Our relationship couldn't be any better, but the homesickness has hit me pretty hard. I've been here a month already but my visa hasn't been approved, so I haven't been able to get into the groove quite yet. Our place is a decent distance away from everything and since I have no mode of transportation, I'm stuck at home every day. I try to keep busy with dishes and laundry, cleaning all that I can and redecorating our home, but we've hit a snag financially so my design projects are currently placed on hold.</p> <p>When I'm not busy, I feel lonely. I miss my family a lot and the homesickness has been getting worse and worse. Do you have any suggestions or insightful advice as to what I should do during this awkward adjustment period? — Homesick Hayden</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2349229#comment DearSugar Needs Your Help homesick long distance relationship Love Sat, 18 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2349229 http://dearsugar.com/2349070 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/42_2008/autumn.jpg" alt="" title="" class="center image xxlarge" height="357" width="487"></span>Don't you just love Fall? It's such a <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2322794" >cozy time of year</a>, full of fleece coats, sipping hot cups of cider, and afternoon outings pumpkin picking. Long walks admiring the warm colored leaves and crisp air give hints that Winter holiday celebrations are on their way. If you're in a relationship, all these pleasant feelings can make you fall in love all over again.</p> <p>Other seasons can have this same effect on your mood and how you feel about the people in your life. So I'm wondering if certain seasons make you more in the mood for love and intimacy than others. Do you have a favorite season that you look forward to every year that encourages feelings of love, or is it the change in seasons that inspires passion for you?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2349070#comment Do Tell fall Intimacy Love seasons Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:30:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2349070 http://dearsugar.com/2365448 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2365448"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2365448',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2365448');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/Couple-Past.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image xlarger" height="400" width="267"></span><br>You learn something new with every life experience, including relationships. That said, I certainly don’t think you need dozens of relationships to know a thing or two about how they work. Some people are daters, and some prefer monogamy, and of course there’s everyone in between too. So just for curiosity’s sake, tell me, how many actual relationships have you been in?</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2365448" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: How Many Relationships Have You Been In? </label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> None</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> One to two</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Three to five</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> Six to eight</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="4" class="form-radio" /> Nine to 11</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="5" class="form-radio" /> More than 11</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2365448" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2365448#comment Dear Poll Life Love Relationships Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2365448 http://dearsugar.com/2366010 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2366010"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2366010',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2366010');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/true_confession.xxlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xxlarge" width="335" height="500"></span><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl0/0/3362/10_2008/confess.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image right preview" height="45"></span>Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this <a href="http://www.truemomconfessions.com/" target="_blank">True Confession</a>.</p> <p>You dumped me, then two weeks later you turn up on my doorstep and tell me you love me, that I'm the best thing that ever happened to you, and that you've never felt like this before. A week later you call to tell me it's over and you made a mistake. You're either a liar or a coward, but whatever it is, I still love you and would get back together in a heartbeat.</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a> <br clear=all></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2366010" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>True Confession — I Still Love Him</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Not forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Undecided</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2366010" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2366010#comment Breakup Love Relationships true confession Wed, 15 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2366010 http://dearsugar.com/2365409 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/abusive.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image xlarger" width="266" height="400"></span><br><br>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>At what point do I end a relationship with someone I truly love who has a temper, who treats me badly, but always say he's going to change? And how do I end this relationship when I am always wanting and willing to accept his apologies and take him back? He is my everything and I don't know what to do. Please help! — Reliant Rachel</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2365409">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2365409#comment abuse Domestic Abuse Hotline Love National Respect Day Relationships Respect Campaign You Asked Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2365409 http://dearsugar.com/2353212 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/Man-Concern.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline left image xlarge" height="312" width="310"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My wife and I have been married for 13 years and we have four kids. I don't feel as if she loves me anymore. She does not show me any affection and only goes along with what I initiate. I will occasionally stop her throughout the day to give her a hug or a kiss, but she never initiates it. She never tells me that she loves me unless she is responding to my "I love you." For our anniversary, I put love notes around the house and in her car so that she would see them through every event of her day and I bought her a dozen roses. She said thank you, but that was it. I didn't even receive a hug or a kiss! </p> <p>The only time we ever have sex is if I make the move. This has been going on for the last five years. Before that she would at least show <i>some</i> interest in me. When I try to talk to her about the way I feel she turns it all around on me and it inevitably leads to a huge argument. I tried for years not to let it bother me, but it really is starting to affect me as I am always thinking about it and hoping she will initiate just a simple kiss or hug.</p> <p>— Missing Kisses Kevin</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2353212">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2353212#comment Advice affection Love Marriage Needs Therapy You Asked Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2353212 http://dearsugar.com/2349281 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/42_2008/sad-man_0.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarge" width="320" height="255"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for three months — we had been together for more than four years. After the breakup we talked occasionally and our friendship was pretty solid. She recently flew to another city for a job interview and we got into a fight. I had finally expressed my feelings to her for the first time so I had a lot of built up frustration. I did say things out of anger, but they were not insults, I simply told her that I felt she no longer took my needs into consideration. She became infuriated and told me she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I have called her multiple times asking her to listen to my explanation — that I was scared of losing her to a job faraway, but my attempts have been unsuccessful. I don't know how to keep the friendship together and although I am still in love with her, I am willing to just be friends so I don't lose her from my life altogether. I have told her that I will give her space, but I am scared that the space will make her forget about my great qualities and the good times we've had. Do you have any advice for how to keep the friendship together? — Holding on Henry</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2349281">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2349281#comment Advice arguing fighting Friendship Love more than friends Relationships You Asked Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2349281 http://dearsugar.com/2322154 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/41_2008/young-love.xlarge.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image xlarge" width="320" height="240"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My fiance asked me to marry him almost six months ago while on a trip to Disney World after five years of dating. He hadn't told anyone and we waited to share the good news until after we had returned from our trip. Since we are young (I am 21 and he is 23), both our parents expressed happiness for us but enforced the importance of me finishing school. As the months have gone by, his mother has begun to express her disapproval of us getting married at such a young age. We have mentioned to her that the wedding would not be for another year and a half, at which point he would be turning 25 and I would be turning 23. But whenever my fiance is not around, she decides to have little side talks with me, telling me not to be in such a rush and to consider waiting another <i>four years</i> before getting married! She says things to make me feel as though I'm holding him back from bigger and better things, and she's made it clear that she has little faith in me finishing school, even though I am highly motivated and love what I am studying. </p> <p>No matter how much we express our love and respect for each other, I can't seem to convince her that the wedding will not lead me to forget about school to start a family. How do I handle a controlling mother-in-law-to-be? — Ready to Wed Rach</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2322154">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2322154#comment Advice education Love Marriage Mother-in-Law Relationships School You Asked Thu, 09 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2322154 http://dearsugar.com/2297873 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/41_2008/Woman-Worried.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image xxlarge" height="451" width="300"></span>Though I’ve certainly been let in on some big secrets throughout the years, fortunately I’ve never been put into a position where I’ve been forced to lie on someone’s behalf, because honestly, I’m not sure I could do it. A white lie is one thing, but serious lies make me nervous. Still, I’m sure much of it depends on the person and the circumstance. What are your thoughts on this? Would you ever lie for someone you love? Or would even being asked to do so be a violation of your relationship? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2297873#comment A Do or a Don't Friendship Love Lying white lies Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2297873 http://dearsugar.com/2182831 <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I know most people write in and ask if they should move to be with their boyfriends; well I did, but now I'm having second thoughts. I lived in Indiana and moved to Arizona to be with my boyfriend. We were together a year long-distance before I moved. I love him, he treats me well and he is a great guy, but I am so homesick! I miss my family and friends terribly. I talk to him about moving back home, but he would never go back with me — he is from Indiana as well. It is wrong of me to think that he doesn't love me as much as I think he should because he wouldn't move back with me? We talk about marriage, and I want to be with him, but I'm just not happy here. Please help! — Homesick Hannah</p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/40_2008/homesick.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" width="550" height="199"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2182831">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2182831#comment compromise homesick Love Relationships You Asked Mon, 06 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2182831 http://dearsugar.com/2153254 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/40_2008/Couple-Unsure.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="400" width="300"></span>Just because a relationship ends, doesn’t mean that your feelings suddenly come to a screeching halt too. In fact, sometimes without that person in your life, your feelings can grow, and you can be left with the longing to try things over again. Certainly I’ve seen many couples try to give their relationship another go, but not all are successful. So I’ve come up with some things to consider when giving a past relationship another shot. To see them </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2153254">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2153254#comment Getting Back Together Love Relationships. Advice The How-To Lounge Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2153254 http://dearsugar.com/2133246 <p>There are so many amazing things that come with the beginning of a new relationship that I’d be hard pressed to pick just one as my favorite — though who can deny just how great that <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1750154" >butterflies feeling</a> is? One particular moment I think is the most special for a couple is the exchange of "I love you." Whether it’s sappy, funny, or completely random, this step always lingers and represents a deepening connection in a relationship. So ladies, I have to know, how did you and your guy first say I love you? </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/40_2008/Couple-in-Love.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" height="312" width="467"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2133246#comment firsts I Love You Love Relationship Protocol Wed, 01 Oct 2008 11:35:26 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2133246 http://dearsugar.com/2118575 <p>As the old rhyme goes, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage — but as we all know, the progression of a relationship is a lot more involved than that. Of course there are steps one takes before settling down and starting a family, but even if you skip out on living together before getting engaged or opt out of getting a dog before having kids, you can still live happily ever after! So looking back on your relationship, did you and your significant other take baby steps in the right direction, or did you just go with the flow and let your emotions take over?<br /> <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/40_2008/dog.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image preview" width="477" height="358"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2118575#comment Family Kids Love personality traits Relationship Protocol Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2118575 http://dearsugar.com/2089657 <p>In the movies, romance is dozens of red roses, diamonds, sunsets, and surprise proposals. Sure, those things can be romantic in real life too, but we all know that romance is not so easily categorized, and it's often not even planned. Personally I think of romance as a feeling or a moment that leaves me breathless, rather than a specific action or item. But this is one thing that's different for everyone, so do tell, what's <i>your</i> idea of romance?</p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/200403415-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" height="378" width="500"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2089657#comment Do Tell Love Romance Sat, 27 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2089657 http://dearsugar.com/2078370 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/200325107-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="320" width="320"></span>Last week an article on <a href="http://msnbc.com" target="_blank">MSNBC.com</a> from <b>Today</b> show contributor and sex therapist, Dr. Ian Kerner caught my eye. In it he discusses the ways anxiety and excitement play a strong role in dating, ultimately creating an "emotional seesaw" effect as daters bounce from high to low and back again. His solution to this unending and exhausting cycle is a dating detox. <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26778728/?GT1=43001" target="_blank">He writes</a>: </p> <blockquote><p>Stop dating and stop worrying about it. It may be just the ticket to help you get off the treadmill and achieve a sense of calm and centeredness to get back out there from a place of strength. Put the time you would put into dating into yourself: work, friends, new challenges and goals.</p></blockquote> <p>I tend to agree with Kerner's solution, and in fact, I've heard many friends swear off putting themselves out there after a string of <a href="http://dearsugar.com/2040801" >bad dates</a>. Have you ever sworn off the pursuit of love in order to reconnect with yourself? And if so, did it work? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2078370#comment Alone Time Dating Love News to Me Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2078370 http://dearsugar.com/2070905 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/73106223.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="428" width="285"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>I've been with my boyfriend for just over four years. Those four years have been both turbulent and amazing, and also the best four years of my life. We've been through a lot together including his travel-oriented career, family drama, a few dramatic breakups, and me going to school 1,500 miles away. Somehow our love and our relationship has survived all that. </p> <p>Currently I'm visiting him at his training site for his new job. He's at the site for two months, meaning that if I didn't visit, I wouldn't see him until Christmas. But the problem is, I don't know if I love him anymore. I'm here for a few more days and then I won't see him until December, or possibly Thanksgiving. Should I tell him now, leave early, and risk being wrong about my feelings? Or should I stay, not being sure? He's here for another three weeks after I leave, and I can't stand him being lonely and sad throughout that time; he has nobody here. How do I know if my love has faded?</p> <p>— Lost Love Laney</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2070905">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2070905#comment Advice Breakup Loss Love Relationships You Asked Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2070905 http://dearsugar.com/2060204 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-2060204"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/2060204',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-2060204');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/39_2008/200210884-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="453" width="300"></span><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1615158" >Saying I love you</a> is a serious step in a relationship and one I don’t think that most people take lightly. But love is not easily defined, and it’s not uncommon for feelings of lust or fascination to be misconstrued as love. And sometimes saying I love you is easier than admitting that you’re not sure how you feel. No matter what the case, those three little words can be complicated, so tell me, have you ever said I love you only to realize you didn’t actually feel it at all? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a><br clear=all></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/2060204" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Dear Poll: Have You Ever Said I Love You Without Meaning It?</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> No, I've always meant it.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Yes, I’ve said it without meaning it.</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> I’ve realized later on that I didn’t actually feel it, but at the time it was true. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="3" class="form-radio" /> I’ve never said it. </label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="4" class="form-radio" /> Other — Please share.</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="2060204" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/2060204#comment Dear Poll Honesty I Love You Love Tue, 23 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2060204 http://dearsugar.com/2037289 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/YLF_036_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="438" width="350"></span>The overturning of the <a href="http://www.citizensugar.com/1631841" >ban on same-sex marriage</a> in California has <a href="http://dearsugar.com/1713965" >changed many lives</a> and simultaneously sparked a slew of arguments. In fact, as reported by the <a href="http://www.sacbee.com" target="_blank">Sacramento Bee</a>, a recently wed couple — Rachel Bird and Gideon Codding — are starting their own debate over the wording of the new gender-neutral marriage license, which has changed the traditional reference of Bride and Groom to Party A and Party B. </p> <p><a href="http://www.sacbee.com/101/story/1239279.html" target="_blank">Bird offered</a> her own explanation, saying: "We are traditionalists — we just want to be called bride and groom," and for this couple, anything else is unacceptable; they refuse to sign the license as-is. The article also mentions that this particular fight is a personal one, rather than religious. But whatever the motivation for standing their ground, I find the attachment to these two words interesting. They do represent tradition and their cultural significance is vast, but are they truly necessary? When it comes down to it, do these types of traditional titles matter to <i>you</i> and <i>your</i> relationship? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2037289#comment bride Groom Love Marriage News to Me tradition Wedding Fri, 19 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2037289 http://dearsugar.com/2031866 <p>I don't know about you, but I couldn't be more excited that Oprah is back from her Summer vacation! If you caught yesterday's episode, Dr. Oz stopped by to talk medicine and answer viewers questions about some recent headlines; one of which was a pill to make you exercise. While the jury is still out as to whether or not it works, it got me thinking about miracle drugs. Just think how much easier our lives would be if we really could take a little pill to encourage us to work out, or for the sake of having fun take a dating pill, a beauty pill, a motivation pill, even a career building pill? So if you could develop something like that, tell me, what would you concoct?</p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/pills.jpg" alt="" title="" class="image preview" width="508" height="336"></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2031866#comment Celebrity Dating Love motivation Oprah pills weight loss Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2031866 http://dearsugar.com/2020348 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/skd262569sdc.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="325" width="325"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I are both 20 years old and have been in our relationship for six months. We are both shy. I love him and I want to tell him, but I'm not sure he feels the same way. I don't want to scare him off and I don't want to force him into saying it only because I said it first. I thought he was going to say it the other night because he said he had something to tell me; however, he was partying at the time and he left the conversation saying we would talk when he was in a better state. We did see each other after that evening, but he has not mentioned anything to me. </p> <p>Now I don't know what to think. I'm afraid to bring up the conversation because I'm not sure if he remembered what he was going to say. I love him and I want him to know. Any advice?</p> <p>— In Love Leah</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2020348">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2020348#comment Advice I Love You Love Relationships You Asked Tue, 16 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2020348 http://dearsugar.com/2021921 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/medfr08088.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="233" width="350"></span>I'm a fan of cliches — when it comes to phrases, not movies! They may be overused, but I appreciate how easily they manage to sum something up that can feel impossible to verbalize otherwise. And though some are incredibly silly, others seem scarily applicable in everyday life. So in honor of cliches, I've decided to list some of the phrases that ring the most true to me. Check them out and see if you agree.</p> <ol> <li>Love is blind.</li> <li>It takes two to tango.</li> <li>Misery loves company.</li> <li>If it ain't broke, don't fix it.</li> <li>Too little, too late.</li> </ol> <p>To see the rest, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/2021921">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2021921#comment cliches Life list Love Tue, 16 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2021921 http://dearsugar.com/2021386 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/38_2008/zoe.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="300" height="456"></span>After watching last week's premiere of <a href="http://dearsugar.com/tag/the+rachel+zoe+project" >The Rachel Zoe Project</a>, I have to say I'm intrigued, but not for the fashion aspect or her business aspirations; more so because of her Rachel Zoeisms (wonder what she'll come up with tonight!). The main thing that grabbed my attention was the fact that she constantly tells people she loves them — her business partners, her clients, even her mentors! I know the L word means something different to everyone and it can be used in a plethora of ways, but saying "I love you" as flippantly as she did in her show was a little off-putting to me. I guess I'm one of those people that's more guarded with the L word, but where do you stand on the word "love" being a part of your daily repertoire? </p> <p><a href=http://wireimage.com/>Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/2021386#comment Celebrity Love the l word the rachel zoe project Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/2021386 http://dearsugar.com/1969684 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/37_2008/cam.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="319" height="445"></span>Cameron Diaz has been full of smiles these days, thanks to her new beau <a href="http://popsugar.com/tags/Paul+Sculfor" >Paul Sculfor</a>. But since celebrities are constantly being photographed, it's easy to make assumptions that <a href="http://popsugar.com/1966216" >their beaming appearance</a> is due to that special someone. But just as people say pregnant people glow, those newly in love often really do have it written all over their face. Does this notion ring true for you? When you're truly happy, does it shine through from the inside out?</p> <p><a href="http://photo.wenn.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1969684#comment Cameron Diaz Celebrity happy Love Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1969684 http://dearsugar.com/1909587 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/36_2008/man_1.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="313" height="313"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together for more than six months and although we are from drastically different backgrounds, we love each other very much. The problem we face stems from the fact that in our previous relationships, we were each the one who wore the pants and we were both the dominant ones. He is loud, outspoken, highly opinionated, and sometimes very arrogant — I am exactly the same way.</p> <p>He expects me to be the perfect domesticated woman — cook, clean, and listen to every word he says without a complaint. I have tried to give in and meet him halfway by doing things I have never done before (like cooking and cleaning up after him), and I have toned down my attitude by listening more, but he does not feel the need to compromise as well. His responses always end with "because I am the man and you are the woman," and it infuriates me to be treated this way. If I anger him or say something wrong, he will retaliate by hurting me 10 times as much as I may have hurt him. All this is just to try and tame me or break me to become the woman he wants me to be. I know deep down this relationship has potential — we push each other to be the best we can be, we think alike, we are each other's best friend, and the sex is fantastic — but without any help from him, I'm starting to lose faith. How do I make him understand that this has to be a two-way effort? — Making an Effort Emma</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1909587">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1909587#comment Advice clean cook Love personality traits Relationships Sex You Asked Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1909587 http://dearsugar.com/1902315 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/35_2008/200225532-001.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="233" width="350"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I dated someone for almost three years until he started to feel less for me. We thought we solved it, but a week later we broke up. We continued to hook up afterwards, but it didn't take long for him to date someone else. Eventually I did too, and I love my boyfriend more than anything, however I still think about my ex sometimes. We talk and see each other every once in a while. I've held onto all of his emails, cards, and gifts and whenever I go through them, I get very emotional and think I want him back. Does this mean I still want to be with him or is he just my first love that I won't ever forget about?</p> <p>— Past Pleasures Paige</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1902315">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1902315#comment Advice Ex Feelings Love Memories past relationships You Asked Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1902315 http://dearsugar.com/1892753 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/35_2008/engage_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="312" height="315"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years and our relationship took off quickly. I am not a materialistic person, but he goes out of his way to pamper me and buy me things — I think he thinks it's what makes me happy. I've told him that all I need is his love, but he still continues to shower me with gifts. We have wonderful times together, we share the same sense of humor and I love him, but sometimes I feel like we aren't on the same page. Despite all that, we got engaged on our one year anniversary. </p> <p>On my birthday, we had a little argument and completely out of the blue, he decided it wasn't going to work out with us, just two days before he made <i>me</i> promise to never leave <i>him.</i> I feel things really changed for us when we became engaged — his idea not mine — and he says he needs some time because he doesn't know how he feels. What am I supposed to do? I love him and I miss what I thought we had. Any suggestions? Taken Aback Tanya</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1892753">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1892753#comment Breakup engaged Insecure Love material things Money Relationships You Asked Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1892753 http://dearsugar.com/1899365 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/35_2008/82549683_10.xlarger.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="262" height="400"></span>Jessica Simpson is making the media rounds these days promoting her new album, but of course, everyone wants to know about her relationship with Cowboy quarterback hottie Tony Romo. In the new issue of <b>People</b> magazine, Jess <a href="http://popsugar.com/1898687" >spills the beans</a> about Tony being the love of her life, leaving everyone wondering why she just can't seem to keep her mouth shut! She had her past relationship laid out for the world to see — and we all know how that turned out — so one would think that she'd learned her lesson, but I apparently she's not afraid to expose herself and talk straight from the heart. I like to keep my matters of the heart more private, but what about you? Do you think she's saying too much or is the truth the truth, regardless how it turns out in the end? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1899365#comment Celebrity Jessica simpson Love Relationships tony roma Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1899365 http://dearsugar.com/1891704 <p>For some, being single and dating is a lot of fun, but for others, being single can be frustrating, lonely, and just plain exhausting. I think both have their pros and cons, but if you've been feeling unlucky in love, <a href="http://www.oprah.com/article/relationships/dating/sboteach_20080310" target="_blank">Rabbi Shmuley's (of Oprah fame) 12 steps</a> to falling in love might be of some help. </p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/35_2008/sad.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image preview" width="505" height="339"></span></p> <ul> <li><b>Admit you can't fall in love:</b> Since many people couple up to avoid loneliness, Shmuley feels that admitting the reason why you want to fall in love will help gain realistic expectations.</li> <li><b>Get help:</b> Opening up about wanting to, but having a difficult time finding love will help alleviate some of the pressure and burden.</li> <li><b>Heal the love wounds:</b> Make amends with former lovers you may have hurt in the past. Accepting responsibility for your actions will help you fall in love again in the future. </li> <li><b>Take your love pulse:</b> Really ask yourself how loving you are. Shmuley feels that you cannot love specifically if you don't also love generally.</li> </ul> <p>If you want to hear his eight other suggestions, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1891704">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1891704#comment Dating falling in love list Love Love at First Sight moving on Oprah Relationships Sex Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1891704 http://dearsugar.com/1886020 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/200222791-001.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="230" width="350"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 10 years. We've had two children, but have never been married. The truth is that I don't get along very well with my partner, but simply manage because of the kids. He has serious anger issues, and in turn, I have problems with the way he handles himself. </p> <p>Last year he left me in a huff at my 20-year reunion, and one of my male classmates ended up taking me home the next morning after we spent the night together. He and I have continued to hook up since, but we've never discussed a potential relationship. Right now it's "just fun" but I want more. The problem is I'm not sure where he stands; he says that he's undecided. What should I do? </p> <p>— Looking For More Melissa</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1886020">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1886020#comment Advice cheating Children Love Relationships You Asked Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1886020 http://dearsugar.com/1886077 <p>Dear Sugar,<br /> I realize that I am supposed to cut off all ties with my ex-boyfriend, but I've broken the rules. We didn't talk for a month and I haven't seen him since we broke up, but I just texted him about my dog, whom he had cared for a great deal. My dog just got diagnosed with cancer, and my ex about this opened the floodgates for communication. We have arranged for him to see my dog without me present. We haven't talked about ourselves or our lives, it has just about the dog, but I want more. Can I use this tragic situation to my advantage? — Pining Penny</p> <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/dog_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="outline image preview" width="477" height="358"></span></p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1886077">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1886077#comment Advice dog illness Love Pet Relationships You Asked Mon, 25 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1886077 http://dearsugar.com/1885449 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/dear.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="308"></span><br><br>DearSugar and Crushing Casey need your help. She's fallen for her best guy friend but he's currently in a relationship with someone else. She expressed her feelings, but he didn't say much in return. What should she do? Pursue or let it be? </p> <p>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I'm in love with a good friend of mine. I confessed my feelings to him recently and we talked it over. He's currently dating another girl, and I told him that it is what it is, and I just wanted to let him know how I felt so I wouldn't regret not saying anything at all somewhere down the line. He understands, but never exactly expressed how he felt.</p> <p>We've been talking a lot lately, but more as friends than anything I think. I don't want to cross the line since he is seeing someone else, but it's getting harder and harder by the second — I just want to be with him! I've been keeping a certain distance, but I don't want him to think I'm not interested anymore. I don't know if I should keep waiting for him, but I can't imagine giving up on us. Should I date other people or hold out for hope? — Crushing Casey</p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1885449#comment Dating DearSugar Needs Your Help Friends Love Relationships Sat, 23 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1885449 http://dearsugar.com/1879834 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/RachelMcA_Gregg_12418173_600.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left outline image preview" width="300"></span>There have been some Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams <a href="http://popsugar.com/1829741" >sightings</a> lately and the rumor mill is working overtime to figure out if they are back together or not, but you might be glad to know that the rumors are true — <a href="http://popsugar.com/1880097" > they are back on!!</a> They seem to be the Hollywood couple everyone was rooting for, but what took them so long to reignite their flame? In my opinion, following your heart shouldn't be that difficult — you either know or you don't, right? Have you ever had to give getting back together with an old love such thought? Do you think it's a bad sign if you do? </p> <p><a href="http://wireimage.com/" target="_blank">Source</a> </p> http://dearsugar.com/1879834#comment Breakup Celebrity Getting Back Together Love Rachel McAdams Relationships ryan gosling Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1879834 http://dearsugar.com/1877102 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/34_2008/college.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right outline image preview" width="337" height="506"></span>Dear Sugar,</p> <p>A friend and I have been talking about moving to New York together after we finish college next May. We haven't discussed anything solid, but we both think it's a good idea to live there because of the areas we're specializing in, plus, it's my absolute dream city!</p> <p>My problem is that I'm currently in a relationship with a great guy, and have been for about a year and a half. I'm almost 99 percent sure he doesn't want to go to New York when he graduates — I've brought it up with him before — so I feel incredibly guilty about considering doing it on my own. On one hand, I feel like I'm making plans behind his back, but on the other, there aren't any real plans yet; it's all very, very tentative, and we may not even go through with it — a lot can happen in a year. If I feel something is right for me, should I go through with it regardless? This decision is consuming my every thought! — Apprehensive Annabelle </p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1877102">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1877102#comment Advice change college Graduation Love Moving Relationships Travel You Asked Wed, 20 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1877102 http://dearsugar.com/1853264 <!-- no strip poll --><div id="epoll-view-1853264"></div><script type="text/javascript">new Ajax.Request('/epoll/view/1853264',{method:'get',onSuccess:function(transport){var epoll=$('epoll-view-1853264');epoll.update(transport.responseText);}});</script><noscript><p><p>I've been close with my best friend for nearly eight years. We were roommates in our freshman year of college, and have been practically inseparable ever since. About a year ago she started dating a guy whom we met through a friend of mine. At the time we both had a goofy crush on him, and when they started dating I was happy for her. But as their relationship developed, my feelings for him only grew. We all spend a lot of time together, and I've come to know him really well. I won't go into all the reasons why I feel such a connection with him, but my feelings are incredibly strong. It's gotten to the point where I can't be around them together without experiencing a lot of frustration and sadness. <span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/32_2008/200315357-001.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="350" width="350"></span></p> <p>On the one hand, I'm glad my friend's happy, but on the other, I wish it was me. Though I would never compromise my friendship or their relationship by acting on my emotions, I still feel incredibly guilty for spending so much time thinking about my best friend's man, and even worse, secretly wishing things wouldn't work out for them. Can I be forgiven for these inappropriate feelings? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></p> </p><!-- no strip poll --><form action="/1853264" method="post" id="epoll_view_voting"> <div><div class="poll"> <div class="vote-form"> <div class="choices"><div class="form-item"> <label>Sunday Confessional: I Have Feelings For My Best Friend&#039;s Boyfriend</label> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="0" class="form-radio" /> Forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="1" class="form-radio" /> Not forgive?</label> </div> <div class="form-item"> <label class="option"><input type="radio" name="edit[choice]" value="2" class="form-radio" /> Undecided — Please explain!</label> </div> </div> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[nid]" id="edit-nid" value="1853264" /> <input type="submit" name="op" value="Vote" class="form-submit" /> </div><input type="hidden" name="edit[form_id]" id="edit-form_id" value="epoll_view_voting" /> </div> </div></form> <!-- no strip poll --></noscript><!-- no strip poll --> http://dearsugar.com/1853264#comment Crush Friends guilt Love Sunday Confessional Sun, 10 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1853264 http://dearsugar.com/1813800 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/30_2008/dv803005.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="right image preview" height="256" width="350"></span>Dear Sugar, </p> <p>I've been on and off with this guy for more than a year now, but the last six months we've been in a steady relationship. About a month ago he told me he loved me. He's only been in a committed relationship once before, which was about two years ago. The story of how they broke up is not exactly clear, but I know she cheated on him and broke his heart. He tried many times to win her back, but she wanted nothing to do with him, and is currently in a new relationship. </p> <p>The problem is he talks about her <i>all the time.</i> At first I was very understanding, but now it's getting annoying. Within the first three months we were dating, I asked him if he was over her and he said that he was trying. Not long ago, I asked him again. He said, "I am. Before I wasn't sure, but now it's clear; I'm over her." And yet, he continually talks about her. When I mention that it bothers me he stops for a while, and then he's back at it again. I don't know what to do. I love him and I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to be with someone who wishes they were with the one who got away, and not me! Is it time for me to move on? Or can I make this work? </p> <p>— Over Being Understanding Beth</p> <p>To see DearSugar's answer, </p> <p><a href="http://dearsugar.com/1813800">read more</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1813800#comment Advice Boyfriend Problems Ex-Girlfriend Jealousy Letting go Love Patience You Asked Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1813800 http://dearsugar.com/1841872 <p><span class="inline left"><img src="http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/0/3362/29_2008/200225211-001.preview.jpg" alt="" title="" class="left image preview" height="230" width="350"></span>Balancing priorities can be fairly tricky even if you're single, but when you're in a relationship, things can get all the more complicated. Even a healthy relationship can be both time-consuming and emotionally intense, but when you factor in any drama or conflict, it's easy for your balance to shift. I know that when I'm in a relationship and something challenging happens, I have a very difficult time focusing on anything else until it's been resolved. Are you the same way? Do your relationship issues take precedence over other things going on in your life? </p> <p><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" target="_blank">Source</a></p> http://dearsugar.com/1841872#comment Conflict Issues Love Relationship Protocol Relationships Tue, 05 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700 DearSugar http://dearsugar.com/1841872