Dear Sugar,
I have been in a relationship for about seven years, and we've lived together for nearly four. I have been trying to talk to my partner about getting married, but he just doesn't want to go that route. We each have our own children from previous relationships, as well as two that are ours together.
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Intimacy is a relationship necessity, but is there such a thing as too much intimacy? This is something I consistently debate with my girlfriends, which is why I was so glad to see it broached by Jake of Married Jake, one of Glamour's love and sex blogs.
Jake was confounded when his new wife asked him not to pee in front of her anymore.
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Yesterday, the Business section of the New York Times had an article addressing the significance of financial compatibility in marriage, likening its seriousness in making or breaking a marriage to that of sex and children. And, of course, it has me thinking about what it takes to make a successful long-term partnership beyond love. The article notes:
Marrying for love is a relatively recent phenomenon.
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If a relationship lasts long enough, it's natural for thoughts about the long-term future to arise. And figuring out if you and your significant other are on the same wavelength can help you determine whether or not your relationship should continue.
But while considering the future is common, and often important, there's still something inherently scary and exciting when having a talk about marriage for the first time.
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I’m a huge supporter of online dating — heck, I’m fan of anything that gets two compatible people in contact with one another — but I’ve always thought of it more as a tool that’s used when a person is ready to settle down, and less for casual dating (unless of course, that’s the kind of site that you’re browsing).
Most people I know who have had success with online dating were done with fleeting relationships and wanted to establish something with someone looking for the same level of longevity and stability. If you were ready to settle down, but hadn't met anyone yet, would you give it a try?
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