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Do Tell: What's the Best Piece of Advice a Parent's Given You?

DearSugar — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Getting unsolicited advice, especially from our parents, can be more frustrating and intrusive than helpful. With more years and life experience under their belts, some of what they say must be true, which is why it’s always good to at least hear them out even if you find their know-it-all sentiment irritating.

My mom always told me to beware of charming men, and to this day I'm not convinced by a charmer until I see his genuine side — I think it's saved me a few heartaches! I’ve shared mine, now what’s yours? Do tell: What’s the best piece of advice you got from your parents?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Making the Best of Things

DearSugar — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Financially, things are rough right now, and even if you’re not personally affected, it’s impossible to miss the changes happening everywhere as people lose their homes and their jobs. In such a time of uncertainty, it’s easy to let worries overtake you. But as they say about life giving you lemons, maybe it's time to make lemonade. To see my ideas for doing just that,

Dear Poll: How Many Relationships Have You Been In?

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

You learn something new with every life experience, including relationships. That said, I certainly don’t think you need dozens of relationships to know a thing or two about how they work. Some people are daters, and some prefer monogamy, and of course there’s everyone in between too. So just for curiosity’s sake, tell me, how many actual relationships have you been in?Source

Looking on the Brighter Side

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

To combat the impending Winter and the lagging economy, last week Smitten challenged its readers to list five of their favorite simple pleasures in life. By making ourselves more aware of the good things around us, we can take our minds off of the things in our lives that aren't going as well as we'd like. It's all about the power of positive thinking, so if you're a person who tends to see the glass as half empty, this is perfect for you! My simple pleasures for today: a good night's sleep, a hot shower, and a sunny day. What are yours?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Picking Yourself Up From Rock Bottom

DearSugar — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

This past weekend I asked you all to share a moment in your life when you felt as if you'd hit rock bottom. There were some amazing stories, and it was so inspiring to hear how some of you had made it through all the stronger. But I also feel for those of you in the midst of a low point right now, so I want to take this opportunity to share some of my advice for how to cope with such a difficult time. If this is something you're struggling with right now, check out my tips when you

Do Tell: Have You Ever Hit Rock Bottom?

DearSugar — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I often hear people refer to “hitting rock bottom” as the impetus they needed to pull themselves back up to the top again. But since we all come from different backgrounds and deal with our own set of struggles, the notion of rock bottom differs for everyone. And even though being in that dark place is never fun, often the changes that come out of it help shape the direction of life for the better. I know I’ve battled personal demons before, what about you? Do tell: When was your all-time low?

Source

Dear Poll: Are You Forgetful?

DearSugar — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I used to pride myself on my impeccable memory, but lately I’ve had trouble remembering the silliest things, like the time of my dentist appointment and if I’m supposed to meet my girlfriend on Friday or Saturday night. When I mixed up the latter, my friend said, “you’ve become so forgetful.” And I suppose it’s true, though I blame it all on being too busy, of course. Are you forgetful, too?Source

Dear Poll: Are You Forgetful?

Yes, I’m perpetually forgetful.

No, I always keep track of things.

If I’m really stressed out then I tend to forget things more than usual.

Other — Please share.

People Are Not Always How They Appear

DearSugar — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Back when I was in high school, I took a leadership class, and though the subject matter was somewhat indefinable, it may have been one of the more valuable classes I had because it taught me life skills like communication and working with other people. In fact, one assignment still lingers with me today. We were asked to share with our classmates what our first impression of them had been and then fill in the following statement:

People usually assume that I ______ but what they'd be surprised to know about me is ______.

It was fascinating to find out how misperceived everyone was. Since I know that this is applicable at any age and point in life, try filling in the blanks yourselves. Tell me: What do people assume about you? But what are you really?

Source

You Asked: My Life Has Fallen Apart, Now What?

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I really feel like I am at the end of my rope. A year ago, I met the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We didn't become official until this February, but since then his ex has been trying to contact him nonstop even though he's told her to leave him alone. I graduated from school this year and got a job. I lost that job this week. We live together so I imagine my not having a job has him under some stress.

Since then, I noticed he has resumed contact with her and in turn, has started acting mean towards me. He has called me fat and has referred to me as a loser. Now he has refused to have any physical contact with me, and has basically vanished out of the apartment without a trace. He claims he needs space, but won't say until when. He doesn't even seem sorry for the way he's treated me.

I don't know what to do and I am starting to feel very hopeless. I have no immediate job prospects, I have no money, and the guy I thought loved me now apparently wants nothing to do with me. I can't even call him because he will just tell me to leave him alone. I don't know what to do and I really am feeling severely depressed, to the point of immobility. I don't understand how things can change so quickly.

— Down and Out Deanna

To see DearSugar's answer,

Little Things to Make You Smile

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I always know I'm in a good mood or feeling happy if I catch myself sporting a big goofy grin just going about my day-to-day business. All it takes is a simple moment or a kind word to perk me up and get me grinning. However, sometimes, and I don't think I'm alone on this, a smile is a lot harder to come by than it should be. In an attempt to make every day smile worthy, I've put together a list of little things that always leave me with a happy feeling. Check them out and add your own!

Getting a random hug from someone you love.
A latte executed just how you like it.
Rain on your roof at night.
And a sunny morning the next day.
Scarves, purses, and new shoes!
A phone call from an old friend.
Green lights all the way home.
Receiving an actual card in the mail.
Getting dressed in the morning and realizing it's going to be a "skinny" day.

To see the rest of my list

Dear Poll: Can You Have Sex Too Soon in a Relationship?

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Whether you’re having it or you’re not, sex is always a personal choice. For some people, the physical act alone is enough to create a pleasurable experience and thus waiting for an emotional connection is unnecessary. But for many, being close to the person you’re engaging in sex with is an absolute requirement, which necessitates more time getting to know each other. Knowing that, I could never distinctly say that there is a “too soon” when it comes to sex in a relationship, but everyone has their own opinion on this matter. What do you think?Source

Dear Poll: Can You Have Sex Too Soon in a Relationship?

If it’s not too soon for you then it’s not too soon!

There's definitely a "too soon," but it varies from person to person.

Sex before a commitment is just a bad idea.

Other — Please share.

Dear Poll: Do You Like Being Single?

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

There was a time when negative connotations surrounded being single, but today with movies like Sex and the City booming at the box office, it's clear that there's a new image of the single woman. A woman who can take on the world, man or not. While it's promising to see that being single is finally being acknowledged as a choice, it's true that we still live in a society that values partnership. The looming pressure of finding a partner can negate the joys of being totally solo. So for those of you who are currently single (or once were!), I want to know how you fare in this complicated world, so tell me, do you truly enjoy being single? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Like Being Single?

I love it! It's so much fun.

I definitely enjoy it, but I'm looking forward to settling down, too.

I think it's a total drag.

Other — please share below!

Ten Cliches That Actually Ring True

DearSugar — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I'm a fan of cliches — when it comes to phrases, not movies! They may be overused, but I appreciate how easily they manage to sum something up that can feel impossible to verbalize otherwise. And though some are incredibly silly, others seem scarily applicable in everyday life. So in honor of cliches, I've decided to list some of the phrases that ring the most true to me. Check them out and see if you agree.

Love is blind.
It takes two to tango.
Misery loves company.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Too little, too late.

To see the rest,

The How-To Lounge: Sticking With a Goal

DearSugar — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

The New Year isn’t the only time for resolutions. In fact, I’d wager to guess that most of us are creating goals all year long. But the problem with goals is that they don’t count for much if you don’t follow through with them. If you need help sticking with your goals, then

Do Tell: Where Does the Pressure in Your Life Come From?

DearSugar — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I’ve found that pressure either makes people work 10 times harder, or it stresses them out to the point where they can’t do anything at all. In either case, substantial pressure can be overwhelming and hard to avoid.

To make matters worse, pressure has no boundaries; it can enter your personal life just as easily as your professional one, and often comes from the people closest to you. So tell me, where does the pressure in your life come from?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Feel Awkward Telling Your Friends You Want Alone Time With Your Man?

DearSugar — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Being in a new relationship can require a reorganization of your time. It doesn’t mean that you have to stop doing any of the things you used to do; you might just need to do a little more balancing, which means every once and a while you might have to disappoint your friends in an effort to spend some one-on-one time with your boyfriend. Unfortunately, even if our friends are supportive of our relationship, there still seems to be a stigma around “choosing” a man over the ladies. So do you ever feel uncomfortable telling your friends you need alone time with your boyfriend? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Feel Awkward Telling Your Friends You Want Alone Time With Your Man?

No — It’s totally normal to want to be alone with your boyfriend.

Yes — I don’t want them to ever feel like I don’t value their friendship as much as my relationship.

It depends on the circumstances and the friends, but I have felt like this on occasion.

Other — Please share below.

Do Tell: Did You Go Through an Awkward Phase?

DearSugar — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

There’s just something about adolescence — and I think it has a lot to do with hormones — that tends to bring out the awkwardness in people. Admittedly, I had my own awkward phase, but it was when I was nine. I was too gangly for my own good, with teeth too big for my small mouth and a terrible bowl haircut. Needless to say, it wasn’t pretty, but I think hitting a point in your life when you just don’t quite fit in or know how to act is about as normal as it gets. Were you one of the lucky few that skipped it altogether or did you have an awkward phase like me?

Source

This or That: Under Pressure or Totally Bored?

DearSugar — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

After some major changes in both your personal and professional life, things have begun to move in a new direction. Now your brain, body, nerves, and emotions are adjusting to an entirely new routine, and it’s kind of tricky on the day to day. Would it be worse if…This: You have more responsibilities and activities going on than ever before? You’re getting a lot done but feel completely underwater, and the stress is really starting to get to you.Or…That: Your life has slowed down considerably compared to the whirlwind it used to be? Things are incredibly slow at work, and you have so much free time you literally don’t know what to do with it all. Source

This or That: Under Pressure or Totally Bored?

This — You’re productive but seriously stressed.

That — You’re getting to relax, but it’s more boring than tension-relieving.

Do Tell: Do You Have a Timeline?

DearSugar — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I wish I had a dollar for every time a friend, lamenting about her love life or career, referred to the fact that she's just not where she thought she would be at this point in her life — because I'd be a very wealthy woman. I'm always surprised by their assessment of themselves because it never matches what I see: a perfectly normal and successful young woman. Expectations about what your life will entail and where you'll be at particular ages is a slippery slope that can lead to disappointment much too easily. Still, many women get in the pattern of creating timelines and calculations of what should happen in their lives. Are you one of them? Do tell, have you ever been one to plan out your future? If it doesn't work out as you intended, are you let down?

Source

You Asked: Everyone Else Has What I Want

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I am 28 and was in a seven-year relationship that ended four years ago. Recently my 22-year-old brother got engaged to his live-in girlfriend. They plan on getting married next Summer and are currently trying to buy a house. All of my closest friends and co-workers are married and having kids. I'm single and definitely not where I imagined myself to be at this age. My little brother is experiencing all the things I envisioned for myself four years ago. How can I stop from feeling so envious of what my brother and friends have?

— Left Behind Bea

To see DearSugar's answer,

The How-To Lounge: Living in the Present Moment

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

In this rapid-fire, digital age, living in the present and enjoying the moment can seem about as possible as avoiding a computer monitor for one day. With the speed at which we communicate and interact, learning to take each moment as it comes is more important than ever. Where’s the satisfaction in anything if you can’t even take a minute to enjoy it? Keeping your mind in the here and now is no easy feat, so to see my tips

Do Tell: Does Being Beautiful Make Things Easier?

DearSugar — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 08:00:00 -0700

When it comes to society’s standards of beauty, there are many common notions: beauty is in the eye of the beholder or beauty is only skin deep, to name a few. But there are sometimes negative stigmas attached to really pretty women — that they get whatever they want and they don't need to work as hard as average looking women do. I try not to think that way, but you know what, sometimes I find myself believing it too. So ladies, do tell, do you think it’s true that good looking women — by society's standards — have it easier?

Source

What Would Your Reality Show Theme Be?

DearSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0800

These days just about anyone can have a reality show, and new ones seem to spring up everyday. Recently, Denise Richards signed on to do her own reality show, which according to BuzzSugar will focus on her daughters and her high-profile divorce.

I don't think we've seen the divorce theme yet, though we have seen the newlywed, the engaged, the just dating, the thinking about having a baby, and the raising kids themes. Apparently just about everyone's life has a theme — at least when it's condensed into an hour a week. So I want to know is, if they were to make a reality show out of your life — the good, the bad, and the ugly — what would its theme be?

Source

You Asked: I'm So Depressed

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I just graduated from high school this past May and am currently living from home, but since then, I feel like everything has gone downhill. Most of my friends have moved away to go to school and I still live at home. I attend an amazing university, but still, I can't help but feel depressed. I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I'm not happy with what I’m doing with my life.

I just ended things with this guy who was extremely controlling and every other relationship I have been in has been just as bad and I feel like it’s me that’s causing it. I feel like I need a new change of pace. There is nothing here for me anymore.

I want to leave, but I love my family to death and the thought of leaving them and everything I know behind just breaks my heart. But at the same time, I just feel like the only way for me to move on with my life is to get away from all the things that are making me unhappy. Please help!

—Sad Sally

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Some Words of Wisdom

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:00:00 -0700

I just came across a wonderful poem whose commandments (if you will) struck a chord with me. I wanted to share it with all of you so just click here to

Dear Poll: Only One Guarantee

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 13:00:00 -0700

There are no guarantees in life -- you can just hope for the best and live your life to the fullest everyday. But what if you could guarantee one thing for your child? After living your own life, knowing what really matters, would you be able to choose? It's a tough question, I know. What I want to know is, if you could rest assured that your child would be successful in only one aspect of their life, what would you want for him or her? Source

Dear Poll: Only One Guarantee

Financial security

A successful career

A happy marriage/finding true love

Healthy children

Self confidence

Other: Please share!

Do Tell: What do you do When you Need a Break?

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Everyone needs a break from time to time, whether it's from your job, your family, your friends, or everything combined. While we know how you choose to blow off steam, what I want to know is what do you do when you just need a break? Are you the type that gets in the car to hit the open road, or do you go stay with friends for a long weekend? Ladies, do tell, what is your escape plan when you have just had enough?

Source

What's in a Song?

DearSugar — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 14:45:00 -0700

On my way to work this morning, I heard a song whose lyrics I have not been able to get out of my head. Mary Schmich wrote the words to Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen), a faux commencement speech that was published in the Chicago Tribune on June 1, 1997. Baz Luhrmann later set these lyrics to music in 1999 and it soon became a hit.

I think Mary's speech/advice really hits on some tough questions and emotions that everyone can relate to, all the while making you realize that regardless of your own personal ups and downs, you only have one life, so we should all take full advantage of what we are given before it is too late.

What do you all think?

To see the lyrics,

Wise Guide -- A quote and a question about fear

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 10:00:00 -0800

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. – Dorothy Thompson

Name one thing you know is keeping you from feeling passionately and vividly alive.

Source

You Don't Need Permission to . . .

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 09:00:00 -0800

live an ordinary life with an extraordinary spirit

WISE GUIDE -- A question about control

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 10:00:00 -0800

Life is to be lived, not controlled. – Ralph Ellison

Think about something in your life you might be trying to control instead of experience, accept or understand. Are you afraid of that thing? Is it overwhelming? Does it make you tired, trying to control it?

Source