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Dear Poll: Internet Better Than Sex?

DearSugar — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Men and women have used every excuse in the book to get out of sex — I'm too tired, I'm not in the mood, I'm stressed, I have to get up early, etc. Well, now there's a new excuse — "I'd rather surf the Net." Yep, Intel did a survey and discovered that "46 percent of women would rather go without sex for two weeks than give up the Internet for that long." The numbers are slightly lower for guys, only 30 percent of all men would swap lady lovin' for the Internet for the same amount of time. Either these people are having some pretty bad sex, or the web addresses they're visiting are way more exciting than an earth-shattering, orgasmic love session.These stats depress me. I love technology as much as the next person, but how can it be more important than a real-life, personal, intimate connection? Tell me ladies, would you rather give up sex or your Internet connection for two weeks? Source

Dear Poll: Internet Better Than Sex?

Sex

Internet

How Much Do Your Online Relationships Matter to You?

DearSugar — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

As reported in the The New York Times, a new study reveals that men are just as attached to their online communities as they are to their real world relationships. Women, on the other hand, reported having a deeper connection to their real life encounters. The article didn't offer explanation for these varying viewpoints, but I'm sure there are many reasons why men and women are different in this respect.

There is something important about a physical relationship — a lot is said through someone's tone and body language — but I have to assume that even if it seems strange to some, online friendships and communities can be just as significant to a woman as her real world ones. But surely it depends on the woman, so since I know you're all active online, I'll ask you: Do you have any online relationships that you value just as much as those in your real life? Or do the connections you create online always come second?

Source

True Confession — I'm Addicted to Chat Rooms!

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."I'm addicted to chat rooms. I know I should be ashamed of myself — after all, my hubby is more than loving — but the whole 'stranger' aspect is such a turn on! I'm not sure if this crosses the cheating line so tell me, is talking to other men over the Internet forgivable?"Source

True Confession — I'm Addicted to Chat Rooms!

Forgive?

Not Forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

You Asked: He Likes His Computer More Than Me

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend spends all day on the Internet. If I ask him a question while he's checking blogs, he dramatically takes off his headphones, presses pause on whatever music he's listening to, sighs and says "yes?" in a hostile tone. He checks all his favorite sites first thing in the morning, is on them when I get home from work, and is looking at them throughout the day. I think he feels that since we live together we're automatically spending "quality time together" by being in the same house even when we aren't interacting. Clearly, I feel differently, and his habits are driving me crazy.

Occasionally he makes jokes about being a bad boyfriend and ignoring me, but other than that we don't really discuss it. It's really starting to affect my self-confidence and our relationship. I just don't feel like a priority, and I'm coming in second to a computer screen! What can I do?

— Computer Woes Cassie

To see DearSugar's answer,

Sunday Confessional: I Exposed Her Secrets on My Blog

DearSugar — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I started a personal blog about a year ago as a way to keep track of my life post-college. In the beginning, it was more of a casual thing, but over time, and as I gained a few readers it became more serious. Friends and family knew about it, but I never really made it accessible for them. In fact, many of the people in the posts involve my closest friends and family members — though I've always given them pseudonyms. One friend in particular has had some bad months lately, and I often found myself blogging about her and her messy life. She's made a lot of poor decisions, and I think posting it on my blog was a way for me to talk through it without actually talking about it with anyone who might know her. Long story short, she recently discovered my site — I have no idea how — but she was enraged and deeply hurt. She feels that her trust has been violated, and that I've completely stabbed her in the back. And of course, she's upset by the opinions I have of her. She's cut me out of her life, and informed mutual friends about my blog, who have now also turned on me. I understand why she feels the way she does, but I never meant for anyone to find out. My personal life is a wreck now! It's like my diary has been exposed. I've pulled down my blog, and I want to make things right, but can I ever be forgiven?Source

Sunday Confessional: I Exposed Her Secrets on My Blog

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please explain!

Do Tell: Do You Use Social Networking Sites to Keep Track of Exes?

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I’m going to come clean: Sometimes when I’m bored, I look up my exes on Facebook and MySpace just to lurk around their pages and see what’s new. It’s not one of my best habits, but what can I say, I’m imperfect — and a tad bit nosy. I never make contact with them, and I have no interest in ever seeing them again, but I guess I just like to stay in the know. I may be biased, but I consider this kind of curiosity totally innocent. Do you agree? Ladies, do tell, do you ever check out social networking sites to keep track of your exes?

Source

Blogging About Breakups

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 07:00:45 -0700

On Friday, The New York Times addressed the phenomenon of using the Internet and blogs to write about and process fallen relationships or take revenge on a disgraceful ex. The article notes:

For the blogger, the writing can be therapeutic . . . For some ex-spouses, revenge is not the point. Writing about divorce can be good for readership.

Of course, I can't help but think about the notion of the Internet as a tool for both revenge and therapy. Although I know that more than a few of us have taken revenge, is it OK to use the Web — where everything is easily and indefinitely accessible — to act out our personal vendettas? And though I always recommend journaling as a therapeutic method, I wonder if it's wrong to use a public venue for such a personal process. What do you think? Is the Internet really the place for breakups and divorces?

Source

This or That: Online Games or Internet Porn?

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:36:07 -0700

Your boyfriend has been acting strange lately. He seems distracted when you’re with him, and when you call, he often won’t make it to his phone before his voicemail picks up. After a few days of this behavior, you start to get suspicious. You head over to his house to make a surprise visit and oh, what a surprise! Would it be worse if you caught him on the computer . . .This: Playing as a character in a multiplayer online game? Sure it’s just a game, but it appears to have taken over his life; he’s wholly invested in his Internet persona and even has a virtual "girlfriend." Or . . .That: Watching porn of all kinds, though his favorite appears to involve feet? You’re OK with porn every once and a while, but he seems to have crossed a line. Which is worse?Source

This or That: Online Games or Internet Porn?

This — It may just be a game, but it feels like he's leading a double life.

That — He's more attentive of his "women" online than the one right in front of him.

You Asked: Should I Confront Him?

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 17:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and we get along great for the most part. He looks at Internet porn a lot, but it doesn't bother me except that lately we haven't been having sex that often, which makes me think that I'm not meeting his sexual needs. Recently, I found a picture on his computer of me and him with my face blacked out! It happens to be his favorite picture of himself — it's on the beach, and he's shirtless — so my first thought was that he sent the picture to some girl via email and didn't want her to see my face. Even worse, when I checked my email on his computer, the website was already open and it had another email address saved (he doesn't use that email provider) — "hungsd." Obviously I'm a little disturbed.

We've been through so many struggles in our relationship; we were even engaged at one point, but I called it off because I felt that I wasn't getting the love I deserved. We've made it through that hard time, and I feel like he's the one person for me but I'm feeling very resentful of him and find myself pulling away physically. Should I say something to him even though I was the one being nosy? I just don't know what to do.

— Sad and Shocked Samantha

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Poll: Do You Self Diagnose?

DearSugar — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 13:00:00 -0700

We live in a time where all kinds of information is just a few clicks away. The Internet has provided us with a plethora of knowledge and while most of the information is helpful and informative, it can also backfire and cause more bad than good. Sites like Web MD provide answers to all kinds of medical related questions, but sometimes you can self diagnose yourself into an unnecessary frenzy. I have faked myself out over the Internet on more than one occasion, so ladies, what I want to know is, do you self diagnose? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Self Diagnose?

Yes: I am a hypochondriac and I self diagnose all the time.

No: I leave the diagnosing to the experts.

Other: Please share!

Have You Used an Online Dating Service?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:00:00 -0700

People find true love in all kinds of situations. At the bus stop, at work, on line at a coffee shop, at parties, at bars, you name it. So what if you've exhausted all those options and are still on the singles scene?Luckily there are always online dating services and there are many to choose from: Match.com, eHarmony, JDate, Matchmaker (cute name), PerfectMatch, Great Expectations, and Yahoo! Personals just to name a few.These services do all the work for you. You can simply sign up, make a profile, and they'll send you emails telling you about people you are compatible with based on your interests. The idea is brilliant actually, and it makes meeting new people pretty easy if you're game. Two of my friends are actually in long term relationships with men they met through one of these services. So I definitely think they're worth a shot.So I'm wondering, have you have ever signed up for an online dating service? If so, have you met anyone? Do you think they're a good idea or a bad idea?Source

Have You Used an Online Dating Service?

Yes, I've signed up and have had a lot of luck.

No, it's not for me.

I never have, but I'm not against them.

I'm in a relationship so I don't need help finding a date.