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All About Anxiety

DearSugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Everyone deals with stress; it’s just part of life. But when stress overwhelms your ability to function normally, it becomes something more. Anxiety disorder affects approximately 15 million people in the US, and like depression, it comes in varying degrees and with its own set of social stigmas. Anxiety disorder can begin early or late in life, but in most cases, it's closely linked to family history as well as severe stress.

To learn about the symptoms and treatments of this challenging and common disorder,

Trichomoniasis: The Most Common, Curable STI

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Just when you thought you knew about every STI in the book, trichomoniasis shows up. Trichomoniasis or "trich" is found more often in women than men, but affects both sexes. Caused by a parasite passed during vaginal intercourse, like most STIs, it's usually preventable with proper protection. Carriers of trich typically show very few symptoms. Women who do show symptoms will usually notice them within five to 28 days after exposure.

Symptoms:

Reddening of the vagina or vulva
Frothy, green or yellow vaginal discharge.
Itching
Fishy odor
Discomfort during sex and/or urination

To learn about the complications of this STI and treatment please

Gonorrhea of the Throat?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0700

I don't know how many women I've talked to that say they'll engage in oral sex with a guy no problem, but if they're going to have sex, they make him get tested first. Um, hello?! For all those ladies out there with that mindset, I have four words for you — Gonorrhea of the Throat. Remember that oral sex still allows secretions to be passed from one partner to another, and since some people with STIs such as gonorrhea don't show symptoms until the condition has progressed, they can unknowingly pass it on. Now can you see why I'm so pushy about advising that you and your partner get tested before any intimacy occurs?

I know gonorrhea of the throat sounds utterly painful, but symptoms only include a sore throat, and some people experience no symptoms at all, although people with this condition often have signs of regular gonorrhea as well. To diagnosis this STI, a doctor will take samples of secretions from the infected areas and luckily, all types of gonorrhea can be treated with a healthy dose of antibiotics.

Seriously ladies, if this doesn't make you request that a new partner get tested, I don't know what will. Any type of intimacy where you have the possibility of being exposed to another person's blood, semen, vaginal secretions, or breast milk should only occur if you know your partner is STI free.

Dear's Advice: If getting tested before oral sex isn't happening, you can still protect yourself by having the man wear a condom, or a woman place a dental dam over her lady business. I know that doesn't sound very sexy, but it's better than finding out you have gonorrhea of the throat!

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Take Naps?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I’ve always found that there are two schools of thought when it comes to napping. Either a person thinks they’re the biggest waste of the day or finds them to be an awesome way to spend an afternoon. I happen to fall in the latter category, though it’s rare that such an afternoon arises. We all know that sleep is an important part of both our physical health and mental well-being, so tell me, are you a naptaker? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Take Naps?

Are you kidding? I haven’t taken a nap since I was a kid!

I absolutely love them; they completely rejuvenate me.

I would love to take more if I could!

I only take one if I absolutely have to in order to make it through the rest of the day.

Other — I'll explain

This or That: You Gave Him an STI or He Passed One on to You?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:30:00 -0700

After a few great weeks spending time together, you and your new guy have decided to take the plunge and become exclusive. Naturally, to celebrate, you get busy but just a few days later, you suddenly have something strange going on downstairs. An emergency trip to the gyno reveals it's an STI. Would it be worse if . . . This: It turns out that you must have picked this up from your last boyfriend and inadvertently passed it along to your new guy? A quick conversation with your ex reveals that he had signs of it but never mentioned it to you before. You're very upset and utterly humiliated that you have to tell your new boyfriend this news. Or . . .That: When you spill the beans to the new guy, he blushes and confesses that his last girlfriend had it, too? Apparently, he didn’t think males could be carriers. You're beyond dumbfounded by his complete lack of knowledge. Source

This or That: You Gave Him an STI or He Passed One on to You?

This — You unknowingly passed on something not so pleasant.

That — He didn't tell you that he might have something contagious.

You Asked: Are My Sexual Habits Normal?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I was in a long-term relationship for nearly five years. Things were very tumultuous and we finally called it quits just over a year ago. It was a bad end, and I've had a challenging time getting over it. In fact, I still don't feel like I can even really process it and have yet to open up to my friends. I haven't dated in a year or had sex since we broke up. Instead, I've been masturbating once almost every day. I don't think my friends masturbate that much, and it's not like me too either. I'm concerned that my behavior isn't healthy. Is there something wrong with me?

— Concerned Crissy

To see DearSugar's answer,

The How-To Lounge: Your Annual Pelvic Exam, Part II

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Now that we all have a few reminders when preparing for an upcoming pelvic exam, I have some quick suggestions for the day of the appointment, too. To see them

The How-To Lounge: Your Annual Pelvic Exam, Part I

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I don’t know any women who actually enjoy a trip to the gynecologist, though feelings about settling into the stirrups tend to vary from mild annoyance to extreme anxiety. No matter which end of the spectrum you fall on, it’s important to make the most of your annual exam. To see my suggestions to do just that

Go On and Get Intimate — It's Good For Your Heart

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

I know you like to kiss and make out because it's an expression of how much you care about someone (and it feels good too!), but getting intimate can also be good for your heart and your health. I wouldn't equate it with going for a run, but things you do with your partner are definitely considered exercise. Remember that anything that uses your muscles or burns calories makes you strong and keeps your weight down, but intimacy is also good for your cardiovascular system because it gets your heart pumping. So the next time you just feel like sitting on the couch with your man, here's some motivation to get busy! Check out how many calories these loving activities burn per half hour. Calculations are based on a 130-pound woman.

Activity	Calories Burned
Dancing	89
Making out/foreplay	43
Having sex	125
Taking a cat nap together	27

If you want to see the others then

You, Me, and IUCs: It's Quiz Time!

DearSugar — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

A little while back, I told you about IUCs, which are a kind of long-term birth control that are becoming really popular since many women don't want to have to remember to take their pill every day or interrupt lovemaking to slip on a condom. IUCs allow for spontaneous intimacy and are over 99 percent effective at preventing pregnancy. There's a lot more to know, so let's see what you remember!

Source

Pubic Lice: More Common Than You Think

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

I know this is a pretty nauseating topic, but wouldn't you agree that it's better to talk about something gross than to have something gross? If so, listen up, because public lice, also known as crabs, affects more than 6,500 people a year. The best way to prevent yourself from being one of those people is to know the facts.

The most common way pubic lice can get passed is through sexual contact, but it's not the only way. Even though these creatures feed on human blood and need a host to live off of, they can also survive up to 48 hours off a human. That means they can be lurking on someone's sheets or clothes, so even if you don't end up going all the way, any close contact with something the infected person has touched can infect you as well.

What are the symptoms of crabs and how can you get rid of them? To find out

The How-To Lounge: A Better Night's Sleep

DearSugar — Fri, 23 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Our bedrooms are a more important place than we tend to give them credit for — they’re where we completely rejuvenate ourselves for the next day, night after night. While I’m not of the mindset that your bedroom needs to be some kind of untouched sanctuary, I do think that a few touches in or around your bed can do a lot for a good night’s sleep. And, I know if I don’t get enough sleep, I’m an emotional wreck so if you want to see how to create the perfect sleeping spot, just

Impotence Could Be a Sign of Heart Problems

DearSugar — Tue, 20 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

You may not have known that performance problems in bed are a frustrating side effect for about 80 percent of men with type 2 diabetes, and as if that wasn't bad enough, new research shows that these men also face double the risk of potentially fatal heart problems. Both erectile dysfunction and heart problems occur when specific arteries fail to fully expand in response to stimulus. Since arteries in the penis are smaller than those in the heart, issues below the waist may show up sooner. That means this sexual side effect can act as an indicator of such heart problems as chest pain, heart attack, and stroke. For this reason, as embarrassing as it is to talk about or admit, impotence shouldn't be ignored.

Dear's Advice: If a man with diabetes is having a difficult time achieving or maintaining an erection, then he should see his doctor immediately to get his cardiovascular system checked. If caught early enough, lifestyle changes through diet, exercise, and medication can help reduce the risk of heart problems in the future.

Source

Dear Quiz: Test Your PID Knowledge

DearSugar — Thu, 01 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week I shared some important information about Pelvic Inflammatory Disease with you, which is a very serious infection of the reproductive organs. Take this short quiz to find out how much you learned!

Source

The Facts About Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

DearSugar — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Infection, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) is the term that refers to an infection of a female’s reproductive organs. Perhaps what's most worrisome about PID is that it often goes unnoticed by women and undetected by their doctors — if untreated, it can eventually lead to permanent and serious damage, including infertility. To learn more about the causes, symptoms, and treatment for PID,

The How-To Lounge: Getting Your Life Organized

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Even if it doesn’t feel like it in your part of the country, Spring has officially sprung. This year, in addition to dusting the cobwebs from your ceiling and cleaning out your closet, it’s time to start Spring cleaning your mind. Getting your emotions organized will only serve to make everything else easier — from the little things like saving for a possible Summer vacation, to the bigger things like being more optimistic. To check out some tips for getting your life in gear,

News to Me: The Secret to a Long Life Is Fighting

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Earlier this week, Reuters released a study that finally gives us a good reason to let it all out. I think most of us already knew that expressing ourselves was a better idea than not, but now it turns out that it may actually help us lead a longer life. The article states:

Resentment was the real threat — and suppressing anger led to resentment. . . . It is the resentment that interacts with any medical vulnerabilities a person might have, increasing their chances of succumbing to that medical problem.

The article makes it very clear that they're specifically looking at situations in which a person doesn't say anything even when they feel they've been treated unfairly. I've always felt that holding things in with our partners, friends, or family is damaging both to our psyches and our bodies, but do you agree? Do you ever find yourself feeling resentful but not speaking up about it in order to avoid confrontation?

Source

News to Me: A Happy Heart Could Keep You Healthy

DearSugar — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0800

We all know that being happy feels better than feeling depressed, but now research shows that happiness could actually make you healthier.

In a British study of 3,000 adults, those with cheerful moods had lower levels of a stress hormone called cortisol. When levels of this hormone are elevated for a long period of time, high blood pressure, belly obesity, and lowered–immune system functioning can result. Another thing they discovered was that there are two proteins in the blood that when found in large quantities, indicates there could be an inflammation in the body, which can contribute to heart disease and cancer. Joyful women (but oddly enough not men) in the study showed low levels of these two proteins in their blood so researchers concluded that there is a definite link between happiness and health.

This news is pretty great motivation to get happy, isn't it? Try to avoid the things in your life that stress you out or make you upset. Not only will you live a more pleasant life, but you'll enjoy a longer one, too!

Source

Dear Poll: What Was Your Biggest Worry in 2007?

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Having a mortgage to pay, managing your career, caring for your family, and staying healthy is a lot to juggle with only 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. No matter how hard you try, it's impossible to master every aspect of your life. Since we all have stress in our lives, tell me, what was your biggest worry in 2007?Source

The How-To Lounge: Remembering to Floss

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:00:00 -0800

Flossing — it's a total drag but so important to your dental health, not to mention your breath. For some helpful tips on how to remember to floss, click here to

What's the Deal With the Cervical Cancer Vaccine?

DearSugar — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 13:00:53 -0800

Have you heard about Gardasil? It's a vaccine that prevents cervical cancer, but it only protects you against the type that is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), the same HPV that causes genital warts.

First off, let me tell you a little bit about HPV. It's an STI that can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. It can manifest itself in flesh-colored warts that show up one to eight months after you become infected. However, some people infected with HPV have no symptoms at all, which means they could pass it on without even knowing it. Now that's just scary.

Aside from causing genital warts, if a woman has HPV and it doesn't go away on its own, it's possible that the virus can cause abnormal cells to develop in the lining of her cervix. If not discovered early and treated, these abnormal cells can turn into cervical cancer.

So what's the deal with the Gardasil vaccine? To find out

Is It Unhealthy to Not Wear Undies?

DearSugar — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:00:00 -0700

We have seen celebutantes flash their privates to the paparazzi over and over again, so what's up with them not wearing underwear? While they might think it's trendy to go commando, is it healthy?

Source

Which Is Worse? Streaks or Crabs

DearSugar — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 08:00:00 -0700

When you date someone, you're bound to find out about his or her little idiosyncrasies and habits. Maybe they like to floss their teeth while driving, or they have to use the same plate every time they eat. We're all weird in our own ways, but that's what makes us unique and special, right?Well what if you found out the person you were dating had a secret issue below the belt. Which would be worse? Streaks in his underwear or crabs in his pubic hair? Both are preventable and can be easily fixed, but they're also pretty shocking and gross. Which couldn't you deal with?Source and Source

Which Is Worse? Streaks or Crabs

Streaks in his undies

Crabs

How to Perform a Self Breast Exam

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 10:00:00 -0700

Being proactive and aware of our body and health is so important, especially as women. While heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the United States, breast cancer comes in at a close second. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to pass along some tips to help educate you on breast self exams. Click here to

The How-To Lounge: Avoiding Swollen Fingers

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 09:30:00 -0700

Have you ever woken up with swollen fingers, or left a restaurant or bar feeling like your rings are just a little too tight for comfort? Well I certainly have so here are some tips to help avoid Edema, the medical term for excess fluid accumulating where it doesn't belong.

Click here to

Is it OK for Pregnant Women to Stand for Long Periods of Time?

DearSugar — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:00:00 -0700

With so many pregnancy myths out there, it's hard to know which ones are true or false -- for example, we all have heard that pregnant women shouldn't eat unpasteurized cheeses, or raw fish, some even say pregnant women shouldn't die their hair, but what I want to know, is it true or false that pregnant women shouldn't stand for long periods of time?

Source

Are you For it or Against it: Putting a Stop to your Period

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:00:00 -0700

Back in May, the Food and Drug Administration approved a new form of birth control called Lybrel, which eradicates a woman's period! Yes ladies, you heard me correctly. If you're game, you would never experience those dreadful symptoms of PMS ever again (or at least until you stopped taking the medication) -- which researchers are saying could be a huge positive in all aspects of women's lives. According to new research cited by Lybrel’s maker, "menstruating women feel less effective at work and take more sick days". But then there is the topic of money spent on birth control in America, a whopping $1.7 billion annually to be exact. Some are asking if it's even worth it.

So ladies, what's your take on this subject? Do you have a period that effects you so strongly that you would want to banish it from your life all together or is there something almost comforting about getting your period that makes you want to keep it around every month? Source

Are you For it or Against it: Putting a Stop to your Period

For it: I hate getting my period - if I could skip it safely, hell yeah I'm going to!

Against it: I like getting my period, it makes me feel like everything is working properly.

Other: Please share!

You Asked: Why am I So Tired?

DearSugar — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--
I'm beginning to notice that I'm feeling tired all the time. I can never be bothered doing anything. Do I need to eat less or more? Exercise more regularly? I'm not nodding off to sleep like Sleeping Beauty, but I just feel, lazy and lethargic. Thanks for your help! -- Lifeless Leslie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

The How-To Lounge: Approaching a Diet

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 10:00:00 -0700

Now that summer is in full swing, are you thinking that you should have stuck to your diet after all? Well, if so, you're not alone! Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind before you start your diet this summer.

Click here to

Dear Poll: Have you Ever Ended a Friendship Like This?

DearSugar — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 06:00:00 -0700

I think it is safe to say we all have "difficult" friends, but I bet you didn't know just how bad they can be for your health! According to a study preformed by psychologists at Brigham Young University, simply being in the presence of someone you have a love/hate relationship with will not only elevate your heart rate and blood pressure, but they will generally leave you on edge. Since it is inevitable that we have more than a handful of "ambivalent" friends, cutting all of them out of your life probably is easier said than done, but what I want to know is, have you ever broken up with a platonic friend before? Have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from unpredictable or unreliable friends? Source

Dear Poll: Have you Ever Ended a Friendship Like This?

Yes: The older I get the more I realize how toxic a bad friend can be. I am better off without them.

No: I make it a point to only surround myself with positive people that make me feel good about myself and visa versa

Other: Please share!

You Asked: Will I get My Period Again?

DearSugar — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I lost weight and I lost my period as well. I know the danger of being infertile if I keep losing weight so now I'm gaining weight. Will I get my period again?

--Worried Winnie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Are you Losing too Much Hair?

DearSugar — Mon, 14 May 2007 09:30:00 -0700

Are you worried that you are losing your hair? Do you get concerned when you see how much hair is left in your hairbrush or in your shower drain? Well if so, you are not alone. Thankfully I am here to squash your fears and give you the facts about how much hair is too much to lose.

Click here to

You Asked: Are Nuts a Healthy Snack?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--
In the spirit of bikini season, I am trying to watch my weight. I am not going crazy with dieting, but I am trying to make better choices throughout the day since there is always so much junk food around my office.

Everyday, like clockwork, I crave a snack around 2:30-3:00. I have heard nuts are a good way to keep my energy up, but am I hurting my diet efforts by snacking on roasted peanuts? I know they are heavy in fat, but will natural fat work against me? Do you have any other tips? --Snack Time Sally

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

You Asked: My Feelings or Hers?

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 07:41:10 -0700

Dear Sugar--

Your re post of the friendship question had me thinking about my own current situation with someone that I consider to be one of my best friends. We met through school and automatically clicked with similar senses of humor and outlooks on life. I think that she is a good person and I am
always hoping that things in her life work out well. Lately she has had a lot of bad luck with school and men. Rather than working on improving her life she is doing a lot of wallowing and she has kind of "checked out" of the world. She doesn't leave the house much and she just spends all day watching TV or talking on the phone.

I don't think it's healthy for her but I don't know how to approach the subject. She has been getting some counseling, but hasn't been doing much else. I want her to get well so I have been taking a hands-off approach to everything. But I feel like I am being neglected. I always invite her to do things and she declines and I am always the one calling her. Is it too much for me to ask that she invest a little bit in our friendship, or should I just back off and let her come out of her slump on her own? Is she is trying to tell me something and I'm not getting the hints? --Sensitive Sally

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Pillow Talk: Good Taste

DearSugar — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 06:01:00 -0700

Today concludes our posts about your 5 senses. Our tongue is equipped with over 10,000 taste buds, busy sending messages to our brains about things bitter, sweet, sour, or salty. Whether or not you like your meals spicy, food provides many opportunities to spice things up.

Click here to

Stress-Relief Kit: Thinking About Your Day

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 15:45:00 -0700

At least once a week, set aside 5 minutes after dinner to review your day. Ask yourself How did I handle things today? How is that different from a year ago? Avoid the question How was my day? The trick is to focus on what can be controlled -- like your response to stress or your ability to take action -- and to use language that will help you feel more in control. Give it try.

Click here to

Beginning This Sunday: Gratitude Project

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 14:30:00 -0800

Beginning this Sunday, and posting every Sunday morning, a new feature will appear on DearSugar. It's a bit of an experiment, but I hope you'll enjoy it and use it. I think of it as The Venting Machine's hopeful cousin.

Click here to

You Asked: How Do I Get Him to Take Care of Himself?

DearSugar — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 17:00:00 -0800

DearSugar --

I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. We're best friends and we will probably get married. The problem is that he's about 100 pounds overweight; don't get me wrong, I love him a lot just as he is--I wouldn't be involved with him if he weren's smart and funny and wonderful--but his weight is troubling to me and him.

He complains about being fat constantly but he has no motivation to get rid of the weight. It effects our love life and the activities we do. I used to be extremely athletic when we met and now I'm 20 pounds overweight because I've adapted his lifestyle of eating ice cream at 3 a.m. and sitting around for a whole weekend...every weekend. He has an excuse for
everything in his life, so having an excuse not to exercise is no different.

The biggest problem is that he says his doctors say he's "fine" despite being 280 pounds because he's young. Add that to the fact that he can't be duped into eating smaller portions or enjoying regular exercises. The little tricks that people use on themselves to make them forget that they're dieting or exercising don't really work on him.

All of this has turned into arguments with me saying things that I regret 5 minutes later.
What can I do to make sure that he is comfortable with working to make himself healthy?
-- Worried Wanda

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Pillow Talk: How Well Do You Sleep With Your Partner?

DearSugar — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:01:00 -0800

Falling asleep next to your partner or feeling them next to you in the middle of the night can be a comforting and reassuring experience. There's something deeply intimate about listening to their breathing, cuddling for warmth, or sweetly and lightly touching in the dark. However, while sleeping with your partner might be great for your sex life, it may not be good for your sleep patterns.

To read more

Things He Should Know: Quality Matters Part II

DearSugar — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:01:00 -0800

I hope all the ladies out there sent Tuesday's Things He Should Know to the men in your life -- brother, boy friends and boyfriends -- who needed a few pointers in the bedroom department. Now we'll cover the bathroom, the other tricky and important room for girl visitors.

Fellas, I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but clean is everything! And now that you have your girlfriend comfortable and cozy in your bedroom, make sure she's comfy in the bathroom, too.

To read more

Pillow Talk: Learning to Love Morning Breath

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 11:00:00 -0800

Waking up next to the man you love should bring a smile to your face, not leave you dreading his morning breath. Women frequently ask me how to dodge it, but the truth of the matter is, if he has morning breath, so do you!

I happen to be a fresh-breath freak myself, but there's something endearing and natural about the unique smells of one's partner. Go ahead and kiss him when the alarm goes off. If the kiss is passionate enough, you soon won't be noticing anything else.

How Can I Get My Serious Friend to Cut Loose?

DearSugar — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I have a friend who studies way too much and is so serious with his school work, but has the tendency to let loose every once in a while, although it has been quite some time since I have seen that side of him. He is coming to visit me for President's Day weekend and I want to drop some kind of "fun bomb" on him to make him less serious and more joyful.

Since I live in a warm climate, I was planning a weekend of water activities and outdoor sports, but wanted to ask if you had any ideas to help him connect with his fun side. He is really careful about how much he drinks and I don't want to compromise that, but any suggestions would be appreciated. Uptight Timmy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Embarrassing Laundry Room Blunder

DearSugar — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,
I have a huge crush on a guy who lives in my apartment building. We see each other in passing from time to time and give each other a flirtatious hi and a smile. Last week we pulled into our garage at the same time and we got to talking. He was as charming and sweet as he is cute and when he asked me to grab a beer over the weekend, I gladly accepted.

Last night I ran into my crush yet again in the laundry room. We exchanged some small talk as he folded his laundry. I went along my merry way when, to my horror, I dropped a pair of period stained underwear on the floor! Do I even need to say anything more? I snatched them up so fast I am not sure if he saw, but needless to say, I was and still am completely mortified. How can I save face? Will he cancel our date? Over Exposed Emily

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Over Exposed Emily
You don't need to say anything more... that is truly mortifying and I am sorry. Are you sure he saw your undies? Did you exchange any conversation after the fact? If you snatched them up as fast as I can imagine you did, I really think it is safe to say he didn't even notice. You're a woman who gets her period. If he scares that easily and cancels your date, he isn't worth your time in the long run. Be confident and assume he didn't notice, or better yet didn't care, and have fun with your hunky neighbor.

DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: The Germinator

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 14:00:00 -0800

DEARSUGAR and Disinfecting Donna need your help. What to do when you've got a household with the flu? For all of you moms out there, do you have any tips to help her and her family get through this bout?

Dear Sugar
Both of my young kids have the flu and I expect that I will soon get it too. I have been cleaning like mad, wiping things down, using all types of anti-germ and bacteria fighting household cleansers. On top of that I have been taking vitamin C and echinacea to try and preserve my own health. Do you know of any additional precautions that I should be taking so that it doesn't spread? Disinfecting Donna

Eye Feel Pretty

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar
I have extremely dark eyes and they change color all the time. They are mainly dark brown, but sometimes when I look in the mirror, I can't see a difference between my pupil and my iris. Is that normal? Starry Eyed Elizabeth

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

PEE YEW!

DearSugar — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar
How do you nicely tell a friend she smells a little rank? I have tried getting her bubble bath, fragrant shower gels, body sprays, and I have even bought her deodorant as little token gifts. Each time I buy her something I use the excuse that there was a buy one get one free deal and that it would take me forever to use up the second one!

This is such a taboo subject and it's not something you just come right out and tell someone, so I am reluctant to start a conversation with her that I am unprepared to handle. Do you know of any gentle ways to tell someone they need to tweak their personal hygiene? Helping a Sister out Hayden

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Breakups are the Worst

DearSugar — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 07:59:08 -0800

Dear Sugar
I need some uplifting words. I was in a relationship with the love of my life for a year. He was mildly abusive but I loved him so much I would have done anything for him. We did the make up break up thing a few times until he left me for good and now I am utterly crushed.

I struggle to get out of bed in the mornings and my thoughts are consumed with everything him. I wish I could remember what it was like before I knew him, before my spirit was bruised. While I am home crying, he is out drinking and hanging out with out mutual friends who no longer talk to me.

I have had opportunities to date men that seem extremely kind, but I just can't imagine being with anyone else, it just feels so forced, yet I am struggling being by myself. I don't know why I love someone who has been so cruel to me. I am hoping you have some words of wisdom to help me get through this time. Wounded Winnie

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Thank You For Being a Friend

DearSugar — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar
My best friend is bulimic, I have known for quite a while, but her secret is now out and she blames me. We recently went on a camping trip with our senior class and she had some sort of a fit and couldn't breathe. I called the paramedics and when they came, they asked me all kinds of questions since I was the only one with her when this happened.

When they asked me if she makes herself sick, I couldn't lie so I told them that she is in fact, bulimic. The rumor mill went into effect and slowly but surely people began to find out. A few of our other friends knew about her throwing up before this incident, but now my best friend refuses to speak to me.

I thought I was doing the right thing by telling the doctors the truth about her sickness, but it looks like my honesty is coming back to haunt me. Do you have any advice for me on how to deal with her? I was only trying to help. Supportive Samantha

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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: Emotionally Unavailable

DearSugar — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 14:30:46 -0800

DEARSUGAR and Emotionally Challenged Cheyenne need your help. She's never been one to spill her guts out or cry in public. Now, her boyfriend thinks that she doesn't have powerful feelings about their relationship and he's questioning her love for him. Do you have any suggestions or ways that she can talk to him to secure his feelings?

Dear Sugar
I've always had difficulty expressing my emotions. It is hard for me to cry in front of other people, and unfortunately it is starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend. He thinks that I am emotionally guarded and that nothing affects me. This of course is not even a little bit true.

When we get into arguments, I often don't cry or if I do, it doesn't last very long and the tears stop. This makes him think that I'm not feeling anything for him. I can't seem to make him understand that this is just something I've never been able to do, but in no way is it a reflection of my feelings for him.

I want him to understand that just because he can't see my emotions doesn't mean they aren't there. Is this normal though? Am I emotionally dead? How can I try to make him see that I am genuinely feeling a wide range of things when to him I appear distant, feeling-less and cold. Emotionally Challenged Cheyenne

Make That a Virgin Please

DearSugar — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar
For a variety of personal reasons, I've recently made the conscious decision to avoid drinking alcoholic beverages. I am in my mid 20's and often find myself socializing in bars. Lots of times, I am networking or meeting clients for work outside of the office setting, but I feel like I get drunk very quickly and instead of this helping me, it winds up hurting me.

Also, I happen look very young for my age, and I am worried that people will think I'm not drinking because I'm not old enough. Since I am trying to build career related contacts, I feel it is important to fit in too. I am wondering if you have any suggestion for non-alcoholic drinks that are still sophisticated looking? Sober Sabrina

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