DearSugar -- Just ask.

You Asked: I'm Not a Fan of His Career Choice

DearSugar — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend is about to own a bar, but we have different views about what that entails. He thinks it's just a place to hang out and de-stress, and he is spending a lot of time trying to plan events. I think owning a bar is providing people with alcohol and taking their money without giving them something good in return. We almost broke up over it and he said that he can't be with someone who doesn't support his career. Everything else with us is great except his job situation so we decided to wait and see how things go. Do you have any advice as to where to go from here?

— Bar Blues Betsey

To see DearSugar's answer,

What You Should Know About Premature Ejaculation

DearSugar — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week the BBC noted the results of a recent study suggesting that premature ejaculation, long thought to be a psychological disorder, may actually be genetic. According to the article, the men in the study who suffered from premature ejaculation had a variation of the gene that regulates serotonin levels — the hormone that controls, among other things, mood, appetite, and the speed at which ejaculation occurs.

And while this information will eventually help researchers create an effective treatment, for now there is no medication, leaving many couples searching for solutions to something that is often a serious detriment to a satisfying sex life. The good news is that there are some techniques to help men learn to slow their ejaculation. To see them just

Can You Be Too Intimate?

DearSugar — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Intimacy is a relationship necessity, but is there such a thing as too much intimacy? This is something I consistently debate with my girlfriends, which is why I was so glad to see it broached by Jake of Married Jake, one of Glamour's love and sex blogs.

Jake was confounded when his new wife asked him not to pee in front of her anymore. Her rationale is that now that they're in it for the long haul, they need to actually try and maintain the mystery. Certainly, the longevity of a serious relationship can allow people to get too comfortable, but once you've hit a certain level of intimacy, I'm not sure it's possible to just go back.

Instead, I'd recommend embracing your established level of familiarity but throw in an element of surprise. Develop that closeness in a new context — go on a trip or try playing out a sexual fantasy. I suppose this means I'm all for intimacy — though of course I think privacy, personal space, and alone time are important too — but what do you all think? Like Jake's wife thinks, is it possible to be too intimate? And if so, how do you maintain the mystery?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Buy Clothes For Your Boyfriend?

DearSugar — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0700

With most couples I know, the woman usually has a big say when it comes to the man's wardrobe. While this certainly isn’t true for everyone, it’s not surprising that many women in long-term relationships actually do most of the shopping for the man. Though I do know many men with serious fashion sense, I know even more guys who would gladly wear the same tennis shoes and worn out T-shirt for 20 years if they could. So do you buy clothes for your boyfriend or do you trust him to hit the stores solo? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Buy Clothes For Your Boyfriend?

Yea, but only as gifts.

Yes. I do the majority of his shopping.

I just make him go with me.

Nope. It’s his responsibility.

I would, but he likes to do it on his own.

Other — I'll explain.

Relationship Protocol: Competition

DearSugar — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:00:00 -0700

I don’t consider myself a competitive person, but I can get pretty feisty during a round of Guitar Hero or a game of Scrabble. There’s nothing wrong with a little competition in a friendly game, but what about when it comes to a relationship? I’ve always kept my tiny competitive edge away from my significant other, but I’ve seen some couples duke it out over Monopoly or worse, their roles at work. Maybe it has more to do with the urge to get out a little tension than an actual desire to win, but what do you think? Have you seen this in other couples? Do you and your man ever go head to head?

Source

Relationship Protocol: Are You a Good Couple to Hang Out With?

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Whether you’re the kind of couple that prefers to spend time with other couples or just hang alone at home, eventually there comes a time when you have to socialize in a larger group setting. Some couples are born to work the crowd; they interact with everyone and then come back and connect with each other every once and a while. They never make anyone feel uncomfortable by arguing or being too affectionate. In essence, even if you’re single or taken, they’re the perfect couple to spend time with.

But, unfortunately, there’s also the other extreme — the couple that you’d never want to be stuck with for more than a moment. Do you know any couples like this? Although we've all had our moments, tell me, are you a good couple to hang out with? And does it depend on the couple or each individual in a relationship?

Source

Dear Quiz: Pucker Up!

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0700

I just love kissing, don't you? It can be a sweet, familiar peck to greet a family member or an intimate and sexy, passionate kiss between lovers. Whatever it is, it always makes me feel closer to someone. To learn a little more about this particularly fun activity, take the quiz below!

Source

Relationship Protocol: Sharing the Road

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Relationships are all about sharing, from feelings to responsibilities. But some things are not as easily shared as others, like driving. I’ve found that many individuals in relationships consider themselves a better driver than their counterpart so much so that they either demand to be the driver or won’t allow their significant other to drive their car. And all the way on the other end of the spectrum, there are the couples who argue over who should have to drive because neither wants to. Sure, it’s just driving, but I think it’s also an issue of control. So how do you and your boyfriend divvy up the driving? And who’s the better driver?

Source

Do Tell: What's Your Song Together?

DearSugar — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

It may sound cheesy and cliché, but music can be really moving and meaningful. That’s why people shell out tons for a concert ticket and couple’s love to embrace a particular song and call it their own. And the song that represents a couple is often not a love song, but something more quirky, a song that symbolizes a particular time or feeling. I think there’s something so fun about learning other people’s songs so ladies, if you wouldn’t mind, please share, and do tell: What song do you or have you in a previous relationship considered “our song”?

Source

Where Do You Stand: Taking the Initiative in Bed

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

For whatever reason, men always get the rep of being the only half of a couple who regularly initiates sex. Perhaps it’s because they’re always believed to have sex on the brain, but still, we know for a fact that women are thinking about sex, too. Obviously it all depends on the couple, but I think it’s important that women get things going now and again. Not only is it fun to switch it up sometimes, but I know guys just love to feel like their ladies are running the show every once and a while. But where do you stand when it comes to taking the initiative? Are you all about it? Or do you tend to let him lead the way?

Source

Relationship Protocol: Friends of the Opposite Sex

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Quite rightly, opinions vary about whether or not men and women can truly be just friends as everyone has encountered different situations from which to draw their point of view. And things only get more complicated when you’re in a relationship.

I’ve always figured that once you’re in a serious relationship, friendships of the opposite sex would naturally fade away. Once you have a special someone it’s hard enough to keep your friends of the same sex, let alone members of the opposite. Maybe it's just a matter of the difference between a casual acquaintance and a true friend. But if so, where do you draw the line? Do you think having any friends of the opposite sex when you’re in a serious relationship is unusual? Or do you think it’s completely normal and reasonable?

Source

Relationship Protocol: Making Each Other Look Good

DearSugar — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0700

I recently encountered a married couple about to celebrate their 40-year anniversary, and of course, I took the opportunity to ask them what their secret to success has been. Much to my surprise they both agreed that one of the biggest factors in a happy relationship is always making sure the other person looks good. According to them, you should each be the other's number-one fan, which means never a snarky comment or embarrassing story in public. You can disagree all you want at home, but among friends and in a public setting, it’s imperative to always act as your significant other’s cheerleader.

Obviously this worked for them, but what about you? Do you always go out of your way to make your significant other look good in public, even if you don’t necessarily agree with what he’s saying or doing?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Feed Each Other?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:00:00 -0700

No, I’m not referring to buying each other meals, I mean literally taking a bite of food and placing it in the other person's mouth. This could just be a symptom of young couples in love, but every time I go out lately, I see a couple in the midst of feeding each other and I have to look away. There's something about it that makes me uncomfortable; perhaps because it often seems more intimate PDA than making out. Sure, I might give a significant other a nibble of something if his hands were full, but never in public! Obviously I’m not a fan of couples feeding, so ladies, how about you? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Feed Each Other?

I wouldn’t be caught dead feeding someone, let alone being fed.

Oh, it’s no big deal. I do this all the time!

Never in public, but yes, I do this in the privacy of my own home.

I only do it should circumstances dictate, but it’s not a habit of mine.

Other — I'll explain

Relationship Protocol: Mutual Showers, Sex Not Included

DearSugar — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Whether you find the shower a perfect place or the worst place to get physical, it seems like the majority of us have tried hopping in the shower with our significant others on occasion. But the shower doesn't have to be sexy — sometimes a shower is just a shower. Heck, joining your man in the shower might just be a matter of convenience. I had a roommate in college who showered daily with her boyfriend, and I could hear them just chatting away before they both went about their own days.

So ladies, let me ask you this: Do you enjoy showers with your man just for the sake of showering? Or when it comes to getting clean, do you prefer the shower all to yourself?

Source

365 Days to Sexual Satisfaction?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Even the most sexually-inclined couple is unlikely to fathom having sex every day for a year straight, but a recent article in the Style section of the New York Times discusses one couple who did just that. Charla Muller decided to celebrate her husband Brad's 40th birthday by giving him the gift that keeps on giving: sex, once a day for a year. And she followed through, too!

While it might be more exciting to say that the Muller's year of sex led to a level of sexual satisfaction neither had ever dreamed of, the results were actually a bit more subtle. Charla refers to it as "a really meaningful lesson," which according to the sex experts is to be expected. The article notes:

Shoshana Bulow, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in Manhattan, pointed out that sex is a lot more complicated than frequency. “There’s all sorts of reasons people lose interest in sex with their partner — disappointments, life cycles, financial issues,” she said. “Just having it isn’t going to resolve those.” Nonetheless, sex every day seems to have worked for the Mullers. Charla said:

It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don’t think either of us had experienced before.

Though the Mullers gained a new perspective, for some, 365 days of sex might be a deterrent to emotional connection, but what do you think? Is a sexual marathon brilliant for a couple in need of a relationship revamp? Are there any circumstances under which you would you be willing to give it a go?

Source

Relationship Protocol: Taking the Next Step

DearSugar — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Leaving a toothbrush and other necessities at your new boyfriend's place is one of the first milestones in a relationship. For many people this step comes and goes unnoticed, but for others, crossing the threshold from overnight guest to part-time housemate is something that has to be acknowledged by both parties.

Though it would be nice if there were some standard etiquette for this, I think — just like when it comes to whose place you'll stay at more — it really depends on the individuals and the circumstances. But ladies, what are your thoughts? Should he offer you a toothbrush when he’s ready for you to keep one at his place or should you just bring one over when you're ready?

Source

Dear Poll: How Often Do You Say "I Love You" to Your BF?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Just as some couples can’t keep their hands off each other and others save the physical affection for the bedroom, the same is true when it comes to saying “I love you.”Even though every couple may be in love, the expression of those feelings is different for everyone. Some of us like to say "I love you" every time we talk to our significant other, while others say it few and far between. Of course there is no right way, so tell me ladies, how often do you say, “I love you”?Source

Dear Poll: How Often Do You Say "I Love You" to Your BF?

Too many times a day to count!

At the very least, once a day.

A few times over the course of a week.

We save it for special occasions.

Other — please share below

Do Tell: Is There Really Someone For Everyone?

DearSugar — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Sometimes I see the most truly bizarre pairings that somehow make up a perfectly-matched couple, and I say to myself, "there really is someone for everyone." I suppose this might be why I'm surprised when I encounter amazing single women older than my mother who never found their Mr. Right, even though they had always hoped they would someday. I know a lot of it is just a matter of timing, but it makes me wonder if there actually is someone for everyone. So ladies, do tell, in your opinion, do we all have a soul mate, even if we never find that person or for some people is love just not meant to be?

Source

The How-To Lounge: "Sharing the Pants"

DearSugar — Wed, 07 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Though it’s true that some relationships work best when one person is making the big decisions and wearing the pants, so to speak, most relationships need an equal balance. Unfortunately, finding that balance is easier said than done, especially when both halves of the couple have strong personalities. To check out my tips for learning to share that responsibility,

Dear Poll: Do You Prefer to Hang With Other Couples?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

As a relationship progresses, it’s likely that there will eventually come a time when you’re with your boyfriend more than you’re apart from him. And even though you might love spending time with your single friends, it’s sometimes easier to hang out with other couples — you get your girl time while simultaneously hanging with your boyfriend, who’s also totally entertained. Though it’s important to spend time with all your friends regardless of their relationship status, tell me ladies, when you’re taken, do you prefer spending time with other couples?Source

Dear Poll: Do You Prefer to Hang With Other Couples?

Yes — I love my single friends, but it's just easier to hang out with other couples.

No — I get sick of the whole double-dating thing; I love just being with the girls.

I don't care either way. All that matters is that I'm with my friends.

Other — I'll explain below

Things You Forget When You're in a Relationship

DearSugar — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Last week I reminded all the single girls out there that while being in a relationship is great, so is being single! On the flip side, often even when we wouldn't change anything about our happy relationships, we can still feel nostalgic for the excitement of our single days. But I’ve got another list to remind the taken ladies just how absolutely fabulous a great relationship is. To see them,

Do Tell: What Makes a Successful Relationship?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I think we can all agree, there’s just no recipe for the perfect relationship — different things work for different people. But sometimes I wonder if the ultimate success of a relationship is based more on the circumstances that befall the couple than their actual compatibility. If a couple seems made for each other, but then fall on hard times, perhaps their eventual breakup has more to do with what they had to deal with then who they were.

Then there are those couples who don’t seem ready to cope with the twists and turns of life but end up lasting because they were never confronted with any serious challenges. I don’t know the answer to this one, so I really need your opinions. Do tell, is the success of a relationship more determined by its circumstances or the couple’s compatibilities? Or is it some combination of both?

Source

Where Do You Stand: Open Relationships

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

There's always been a lot of controversy surrounding open relationships — you know, those relationships where a committed couple mutually decides to partake in outside sexual encounters separate from one another. While I’ve never entertained this idea, I know that for a surprising number of couples, open relationships do work. Of course, the couple has to set some general ground rules in order to prevent things from getting out of control, but even then, I can't imagine how emotions don't get in the way — even the least possessive of us still have the potential for jealousy under the right circumstances.

Where do you stand on the subject? Is an open relationship a good idea for a committed couple not interested in society's concept of monogamy, or is it a recipe for disaster?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Sleep On It or Battle It Out?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

When it comes to communication and expressing differences, there are just too many dos and don’ts to keep track of. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “never go to bed angry” used in movies, self-help books, and amongst friends. But then we’re also told to “sleep on it.” So which is it? I wish I knew, but I really think it depends on the person. So, let me ask you, when you’re in a fight, do you sleep on it or duke it out before crawling into bed? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Sleep On It or Battle It Out?

I always sleep on it; it helps me calm down and communicate more clearly the next day.

I really do believe that you shouldn’t go to bed angry; I couldn’t fall asleep like that anyway.

It completely depends on the argument.

Other — Please share

Dear Poll: Are You Social Butterflies or Home Bodies?

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Isn’t it funny how once we settle into a new relationship, we end up falling into certain patterns. I suppose it’s only natural, but I still find it somewhat remarkable how easy it is to pick up a new routine and how hard it is to break out of one. One of the most common patterns for couples to develop early on is their social routine. Some couples still paint the town red, socializing with their friends, while others feel best at home with just each other — sure, every once and a while you have to mix it up, but for the most part these categories stand. So ladies, when it comes to your usual relationships, which category do you fall in?Source

Dear Poll: Are You Social Butterflies or Home Bodies?

We’re usually social butterflies.

We’re complete homebodies.

We work hard to fall somewhere in the middle.

We're torn; one of us is social, and the other is a homebody.

Other — I'll explain below

Dear Poll: How Do You Like to Sit on a Date?

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I was just getting the skinny from a girlfriend about her amazing date last night. He took her to her favorite restaurant, and she gushed about how they sat side by side and cuddled throughout their entire dinner. Now I'm all for romance, but sitting side by side while eating dinner has always been a pet peeve of mine. It just looks and feels so awkward! I understand wanting to sit close, but isn't that what the bar counter is for? Maybe I'm the odd one out on this one, so ladies, what I want to know is, how do you like to sit when you're on a date? Source

Dear Poll: How Do You Like to Sit on a Date?

At a table, across from each other, so we can carry on a conversation.

At the table, sitting side by side. I like to cuddle up and smooch every once in a while!

At the bar counter. That way we can sit close while still having our personal space.

It depends: First date, across the table, but if I'm with my significant other, I want to sit as close as possible!

Do Tell: What's Your Secret Couple Behavior?

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Everyone has secrets, but what about those things that people would be surprised to know about your relationship? I'm not talking about skeletons in your closet; I mean behaviors or actions that one wouldn't necessarily assume of you in a couple. You've all divulged your secret single behavior, so now it's time to blab about your secret behavior with your significant other. Perhaps you sit down to a candlelit dinner every night, or maybe you snore so loudly that your boyfriend has to sleep in another room. Whatever it is, do tell!

Source

Can People Really Change?

DearSugar — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:00:00 -0700

The notion of change has long haunted relationships. We've always been told that we shouldn't expect our significant others to break old habits, namely because people don't change, but is that notion true? According to the March/April issue of Psychology Today, that once-believed rule about change is revealing itself to have many exceptions. The article says:

Tweaking the way you interpret and react to the world can be a transformative experience, freeing you up to act in new ways. At first, it feels awkward, even bizarre. But with new behaviors come new experiences, creating a feedback loop that, over time, reinforces the transition.

The article goes on to explain that though it does require working against some of your personality traits, change is possible. This explanation certainly holds true with me, but what have your own experiences taught you? Is change possible with time, perseverance, and commitment or is who you are a done deal by the time you reach adulthood?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Spicing Up the Mundane

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 10:00:50 -0700

One of the most common couples' complaints is not having enough time for intimacy. In response, people always offer a rather silly solution: Set aside a special “sexy” time. This may work for some people, but personally I think the idea of setting a sex schedule is mildly depressing. I think it’s far sexier to turn boring life obligations into intense foreplay. To check out some fun suggestions,

News to Me: Cities to Settle Down In

DearSugar — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Yesterday Forbes.com revealed its newest study looking at the best US cities for couples looking for longevity and stability. And not just any couples, but specifically couples that live together without being married. As many of us are taking more time to get to the altar or deciding to forgo the trip altogether, it's no surprise that this group of people is growing every year. Apparently researchers had to follow a very specific methodology in order to examine this particular demographic. The article writes:

We selected the country's largest 40 metropolitan areas and collected data on marriage and divorce rates for the 20- to 34-year-olds that live there, the affordability of a starter home there, the area's income disparity, and the availability of family counseling.

To check out the cities that made the top twenty,

The How-To Lounge: Dealing With a Fighting Couple

DearSugar — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:00:00 -0800

I don't know about you, but I dread awkward moments. One of the most awkward moments I've experienced was witnessing a couple's meltdown in a restaurant — after a 45-minute argument, the man said he wanted a divorce, the woman left alone crying, and I heard every word. Luckily, I didn't know them, but I have been in situations when I've had to witness one of my friend's arguments. Although most couples try to avoid exposing people to their problems, sometimes things just come out when you least expect it. To learn some helpful tips on handling these encounters,

Dear Poll: Who Do You Think Is the Strangest Celebrity Couple?

DearSugar — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Love is a funny thing - you just never know who you'll end up with for a partner. So many of us think we have a "type," but at the end of the day, it's the little things that make you attracted to someone regardless if they fit your qualifications of "Mr. Right." We have seen so many Hollywood romances come and go, some couples seem to be a perfect match and come couples look mismatched, so tell me, which celebrity couple made you do a double take?

Dear Poll: Who Do You Think Is the Strangest Celebrity Couple?

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood

Woody Allen and Soon Yi

Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts

Antonio Sabato Jr and Virginia Madsen

Ed Norton and Courtney Love

A Do or a Don't: Dressing like your Significant Other?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Do you ever see couples walking down the street dressed in his and her matching outfits? I went to lunch not that long ago with one of my best friends and her new boyfriend. They showed up at the restaurante wearing matching orange sweaters and blue jeans, looking like they just walked off the cover of a J.Crew catalog. I got a good chuckle out of it, and they did look pretty adorable, but what I want to know is, do you think it's a do or a don't to dress matchy matchy with your significant other? Source

A Do or a Don't: Dressing like your Significant Other?

A do: It's a term of endearment, I think it's sweet and if I could get my boyfriend to dress like me I would!

A don't: It's cheesy. Period.

I don't care either way to be honest.

Other: Please share!

Dear Poll: Who Would you Want to go on a Double Date with?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Double dating can be so fun if you're with the right couple, but sometimes it's hard to find couples that get along with other couples -- oftentimes the girls are good friends and the guys secretly can't stand each other, or vice versa. We see celebrities double dating all the time, so if you could hand pick a celebrity couple to socialize with, who would you pick to double date with? Source

Dear Poll: Who Would you Want to go on a Double Date with?

Josh Duhamel and Fergie

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy

David Arquette and Courteney Cox

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher

Other: Please share!

What's Worse: Baby Talk or Fighting?

DearSugar — Tue, 22 May 2007 14:45:00 -0700

Relationships take work -- they are filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly. All couples fight, and sometimes these fights happen in the heat of the moment smack dab in the middle of a crowded restaurant or an airplane. On the flip side, all couples love to love each other, even engaging in some serious public displays of affection. While overhearing a lover's quarrel can be extremely uncomfortable, so can listening to a couple whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears. So what do you think is worse, overhearing two people fighting like cats and dogs, or a couple speaking baby talk to each other? It's a tough choice, I know!Source

What's Worse: Baby Talk or Fighting?

Public fighting: It is so uncomfortable to listen to strangers fight, especially when you don't know what sparked the argument

Baby talk: Get a room for crying out loud!

Neither: Both instances are just a part of life

Other: Please share!

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Fibbing About Money

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 14:30:00 -0700

I just listened to an NPR piece about money and marriage, and the ways in which couples either lie or omit details about how they spend and what they spend it on. Even when couples set aside separate funds for personal spending, it seems many people still feel defensive or uncomfortable about how they choose to use those funds. What do you think? Is it okay to tell little white lies or medium-sized white lies about how you spend your money? Do you? Is it a good idea or a bad idea in your book?Source

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Fibbing About Money

Good Idea: No reason to make a mountain out of a molehill

Bad Idea: Dishonesty always causes problems

See my comment below

Initiating Sex: Love It or Hate It?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 15:30:00 -0800

Research suggests that men in relationships initiate sex over 60% of the time, and in only 30% of relationships do men and women initiate equally. These patterns also tend to remain years into the relationship.What's it like at your house, ladies? Do you initiate sex? Are you comfortable getting the ball rolling? Or would rather your partner handle the asking?Initiating sex: Love it or hate it?

Initiating Sex: Love It or Hate It?

Love It: He loves it, too.

Hate It: Just prefer it when he takes charge.

See my comment below!

Dear Poll: Which Red-Carpet Couple Did You Hope Would Make It?

DearSugar — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:00:00 -0800

We've seen come crazy couples over the years, and there's no more glamorous place to debut new love than a red carpet. As movie fans, it's easy to become invested in our favorite stars' relationships. People call it quits, and you find yourself honestly wishing they could have made it. Sadly, none of the stars below could make it work. Still, which couple were you hoping would last? Source

Dear Poll: Which Red-Carpet Couple Did You Hope Would Make It?

Christian Slater and Winona Ryder

Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger

Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore

Other: Please share!

Dear Poll: How's His Oral Sex Life?

DearSugar — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 10:19:40 -0800

This is the companion poll to last week's How's Your Oral Sex Life? That was great fun and very informative, ladies. I always think it's a good idea to discover how many people actually share our experiences, which is just another way of affirming what's true and confirming that 'normal' is really a great, big, various category!Once again, I'm including the links to the Kerner books -- one for him and one for her -- about improving your sex life and improving communication about your sex life. Click here and here. For those of you in more of a hurry, go here to read one of his columns about technique, comfort, and confidence.Single ladies: Of course you don't need a partner to have feelings about this topic!Last Friday, we learned how you feel about receiving. Today, let's find out how you feel about giving.Source

Dear Poll: How's His Oral Sex Life?

I'm confident, and I enjoy every minute!

I think I'm good enough, and I don't mind it.

I frequently feel awkward and uncomfortable, but I'm trying.

I'd rather skip it and usually try to.

Something else or something more: see below!