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Dear Poll: Does High Self-Esteem Equate Cockiness?

DearSugar — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Last week I asked you to tell me if you have high self-esteem, and some of you that answered yes feel as though your confidence is easily confused with cockiness. I think that's a common misconception — that just because you're sure of yourself you're automatically arrogant or rude, when in fact, those two characteristics are completely different. So to all of you self-assured women out there, tell me, is your confidence often confused with cockiness? Source

Dear Poll: Does High Self-Esteem Equate Cockiness?

Yes, people often think I'm arrogant just because I'm confident.

No, I've never been accused of being cocky.

I don't have high self-esteem so this doesn't really apply to me.

Dear Poll: Do You Have High Self-Esteem?

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

According to Merriam-Webster, self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself." That sums it up, but I think it’s so much more. Self-esteem is about defining yourself outside of other’s perceptions. It’s about recognizing that you’re an imperfect person and that that’s OK. People with high self-esteem naturally make those around them feel more comfortable and confident, while persons with low self-esteem can easily end up closing themselves off from others. I know we all grapple with insecurities — that’s just part of being human — but would you say that you have high self-esteem? Source

Dear Poll: Do You Have High Self-Esteem?

No — I wish I were more confident.

Yes — I'm proud to say that I do.

I'm not sure.

Other — Please share below.

At What Age Did You Feel Most Confident?

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

It probably won't surprise you that most women feel their sexiest when they feel confident, but according to a recent article in the UK Telegraph, many women feel a lull of confidence at 44, which leads them to feel as though their life is over. The peak of female confidence is said to be between 18 and 30, but according to a recent survey, "the 30s can be a roller-coaster decade for women's confidence, which peaks again at 40 before drastically falling off."

Additionally, 80 percent of those that took the Bodyform Deo-Fresh poll for this study said they wanted to be more confident — again, not surprising — but even if you feel there's room for improvement, tell me, at what age did you feel most secure?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Like to Stand Out in a Crowd?

DearSugar — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I’m an observer by nature, but that's not to say I suddenly become shy in a group setting. In fact, I'm happy to be the leader of the pack now and then. Even so, the idea of having all eyes on me does send a shiver down my spine and get my heart racing. But some people are at their best when they can stand out in a crowd. Does that sound like you?Source

Dear Poll: Do You Like to Stand Out in a Crowd?

Yes — What’s wrong with a little attention!

I’m not against it, but you won’t see me trying to stand out.

No way — The best part of being in a crowd is that you get to blend in.

Other — Please share.

You Asked: I'm Too Shy

DearSugar — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm a very shy girl who can't seem to strike up a conversation with anyone I don't already feel comfortable with. All of my friends are outgoing and carefree, and I cant even get a date to save my life! I've convinced myself that there is no one of the opposite sex that would possibly be interested in me, which in turn fuels my feelings of loneliness. I've tried to put myself out there but I don't know what else to do when I seriously lack confidence. How can I approach males without feeling like a complete idiot?

— Low Confidence Lila

To see DearSugar's answer,

The How-To Lounge: Giving a Lap Dance

DearSugar — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Now, I don’t think that anyone should be rushing out and giving lap dances to random gents, but lap dances can be a sexy and fun way to spice up your foreplay. It can also be a serious treat for your man and a great way to take the initiative. To learn my tips,

The How-To Lounge: Making a Difficult Decision

DearSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I consider decision making a skill that you have to hone, much like public speaking. No matter how smart, self-assured, or strong willed you may be, when it comes to confidently making a big decision, it requires an entirely different set of tactics. But fortunately, being more decisive is something that can be improved with just a little dedication and a lot of practice. If you find yourself more indecisive than not, just

The How-To Lounge: Calling Someone You Don't Know

DearSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:10:35 -0700

Whether it’s for work or personal reasons, calling someone you don’t know can be very intimidating. For whatever reason — perhaps because all of the normal body-language clues are removed — the phone seems to make even the most mundane conversations a little more awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, getting past the fear of the phone just takes some practice, so to learn some tips for calling someone new,

Conversation Starters to Break the Ice Among Women

DearSugar — Thu, 15 May 2008 10:00:00 -0700

It’s easy to get that first-day-of-school nervousness all over again when you’re in a room full of unfamiliar women who all seem to know each other, which always seems to be the case when it comes to wedding celebrations like bridal showers and bachelorette parties. But breaking the ice one-liners aren’t just for the dating scene. I’ve come up with some first lines for getting the convo started on other occasions, too. To see them and add your own,

Dear Poll: Would You Go Topless at the Beach?

DearSugar — Fri, 02 May 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Now that it’s actually starting to warm up here, I recently got to spend some time at the beach. My friend and I decided to wander the coastline until we found a more private cove. Well, imagine my surprise when we rounded a rock face and stumbled upon a huge number of nude and topless beach goers. Needless to say, we both blushed and then hurried back the way we came for a good laugh.Nude beach or not, you’ll never catch me sans suit in public! But maybe I’m just being too modest; if you happened upon a topless beach would you bare yourself? Source

Dear Poll: Would You Go Topless at the Beach?

No way, I'll keep my bikini top latched, thank you very much!

Definitely! What's the harm? I hate tan lines!

Maybe, but it would depend on who I was with and where I was.

Would I? I already have!

Undecided — Please explain.

The How-To Lounge: Being Confident When You Don't Feel It

DearSugar — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 10:00:00 -0800

We've all felt nervous or shy in situations that we'd give anything to be confident in — first dates, job interviews, meeting your significant other's parents, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, the nerves we're feeling inside can end up on display for everyone else to see in the way we hold ourselves, make eye contact, speak, and smile. Fortunately, there are certain ways you can give the illusion of confidence even when all you feel like doing is hiding in the corner. To learn things you can do to fake a little confidence,

The How-To Lounge: Getting Rid of Unexpected Zits

DearSugar — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 10:00:00 -0700

It's Friday, and you have a whopping zit that you need to get rid of ASAP before your hot date on Saturday night. I am here to offer some quick and easy fixes to get your skin pimple free!

Click here to

Taking Risks

DearSugar — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 11:00:00 -0700

We've all taken risks that may have challenged our fears, forced us to change, or dared us to try something new.

There can be emotional risks, like breaking off an engagement, or physical risks, like learning how to rock climb. Both kinds require a certain amount of boldness, trust, and belief in yourself, knowing that everything will be OK afterwards, but most of all, it takes a whole lot of hope that things will be even better than before. For example, you may be nervous to quit your job, but you have hope that following your dream to be a teacher will make you happier. Hope can be a great force to ignite risk taking.

No risk is too small, you always learn something about yourself and overcome a fear. Plus, taking risks builds your confidence and your inner-strength, so you feel more comfortable taking risks in the future.

Some people are born risk takers, and others need to be coaxed or forced into it. Whatever makes you take the risk, whether the outcome was good or bad, it adds to our experience as human beings. So I want to know...

What's the most difficult risk you ever took that helped you grow the most?

Source

Do your Rules Change with Age?

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 16:00:00 -0700

In July's issue of O Magazine, the stunning Ellen Barkin dishes about life as a 53 year old woman -- can we all agree that she looks amazing ? She says she feels more comfortable at 53 than she did at 35, admitting that she would rather discover herself at this age than in her earlier years, a feeling many women share.

By following these 10 simple rules, Ellen proves that 50 is the new 40:

Don't wear your hair longer than to your collarbone
No red lipstick, unless you have dark or olive skin. It's aging
No blue jeans to dinner out. (But black jeans are okay)
Don't expose your knees. And cover up. Don't try to compete with 20-year-olds. A woman between 40 and forever looks great because she has style, not because she shows off her body
Don't ever wear anything strapless
But at the beach, if you have a toned body, rock that bikini for as long as you like
No miniskirts. A short skirt is okay with black tights
Don't ever revisit a trend you lived through once before
Don't wear hats, except to keep the sun off your face. A hat makes you look as if you're trying to get noticed
Wear fewer accessories, and keep your look clean

So ladies, as you get more mature and more wise with age, do tell, do you live by a new set of "rules" like Ellen does?

Source

You Asked: How can a Shy Girl Make New Friends?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--
I moved to Japan by myself for a job a couple of months ago and I am having a hard time making friends. I am a very shy person and I don't feel comfortable walking into bars or going to restaurants by myself (both of which have been recommended as good places to make friends). I also don't feel comfortable initiating conversations with strangers, especially since I can yet string together a complete sentence.

Because I'm Asian, I completely blend in and don't get the benefit of having random strangers start conversations with me like other foreigners in Japan do. I started going to Japanese lessons offered by a community centre in hopes of
meeting people but the volunteers there are all senior citizens. They are very nice but I want to meet people my age. The other students too are all much older. I am a single woman in my mid-twenties and I want to have some
fun! But I don't know where to start. Any suggestions? --Lonely Laurie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

The How-To Lounge: Acing a Job Interview

DearSugar — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 14:00:00 -0700

Pursuing a new job gives the nerves a work-out, especially if it's a job you really have your heart set on. The pressure of that first meeting creates serious stress, and keeping calm feels impossible but vitally necessary.

It's important to look good on paper, but a confident interview reveals to your potential employer a number of important clues about your abilities and attributes. We want you to be memorable! I've pulled together a few tips for making the best first impression.

Click here to

Wise Guide: a question about trusting yourself

DearSugar — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 10:00:00 -0800

A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else. -- Cardinal de Retz

In what way does it seem you may be betraying yourself or, perhaps, can't count on yourself somehow? Starting this week, practice making and keeping your promises to yourself.

Source