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Do Tell: What Makes Thanksgiving Stressful For Your Family?

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Most of you are excited for Thanksgiving, but 29 percent of you admitted to already feeling anxious about it. Getting family together can no doubt be stressful, especially when factoring in those sweet spots of contention that can easily become exacerbated during overwhelming times. In an effort to help you get through this holiday, do tell, what exactly is it that makes things so trying for your family?

Dear Poll: Are You Excited or Anxious For Thanksgiving?

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Thanksgiving is often looked at as the most stressful holiday of the year. It's typically the first event where family comes together, and as I'm sure we can all attest to, family can be overwhelming and difficult. On the flip side, it's a time where you can see loved ones that you haven't seen for a while, a time to get festive, and a time to break all those diet rules! Since the big day is just a few weeks away, tell me, does this holiday lend itself to anxiety or excitement for you? Source

Dear Poll: Are You Excited or Anxious For Thanksgiving?

Excitement: I can't wait for Thanksgiving — I'm already planning!

Anxiety: Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday. Too much family, too much stress, and too much pressure.

Dear Poll: Is Election Day Making You Anxious?

DearSugar — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:00:00 -0800

If you're feeling a little anxious right about now, you're not alone. The months leading up to this election day have been nerve-wracking, to say the least, and since we still have hours to go until we find out who our next president will be, relaxing and taking your mind off the polls will definitely benefit your stress level. Of course, that's easier said than done, and since misery loves company, so tell me, are you experiencing anxiety today, too? Source

Dear Poll: Is Election Day Making You Anxious?

Yes, I have no fingernails left!

No, I'm trying not to think about it just yet.

Other — Please explain below.

The How-To Lounge: Compartmentalizing Emotions

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Compartmentalizing has been a buzz term in psychology for some time now, and refers to the habit of consciously separating specific aspects of one's life from others in order to not dwell on bad feelings. For example, if you’ve had a terrible day at work, to properly compartmentalize those negative emotions, you’d leave them at work and go home happy. But while this word is often slung around, actually achieving its purpose is much more difficult. If you're looking to learn more about how to do this, then check out my tips. To see them

Do You Live in a Stressful City?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Forbes is at it again, but this time they are looking at the 10 most stressful cities in America. They constructed their list after looking at the country's 40 largest metropolitan areas and examining quality of life indicators. They looked at the housing market, cost of living, price of gas, environmental factors such as weather and air quality, and lastly, population density.

According to Forbes:

Residents of the cities on our list acutely experience the shifts wrought by global and local economies in turmoil. In fact, it's "bedrock security issues" like housing affordability, job security and cost of living [that] drive anxiety, says Edward Hallowell, M.D., a former professor at Harvard Medical School and founder of the Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Health in Sudbury, Mass.

Check out the first five cities on their list below:

Philadelphia, PA
Providence, RI
Salt Lake City, UT
Cleveland, OH
San Diego, CA

Want to see the top five? Just

Three Common Penile Problems, Part III

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

You've learned about Hypospadias and Peyronie's disease and to close out this series, I'm going to talk about Balanitis. Balanitis is a fancy word for an inflammation on the head of the penis, and symptoms include redness or swelling, itching, rash, pain, and a foul-smelling discharge. Now that I've sparked your interest, click here to

The How-To Lounge: Coping With a Panic Attack

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week I brought up anxiety disorders and noted their major symptoms. One of the most life-altering one on the list is panic attacks, which many of you deal with or have in the past. A panic attack can be a terrible ordeal and is not just limited to people with anxiety disorders. Once you've had one, it's likely you'll forever dread another, but it’s better to learn how to cope with them than fear another attack. To see my tips, just

Three Common Penile Problems, Part I

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

We all know that men have a very serious connection with their penis, and just because it can be a source of great pleasure, according to AskMen.com, it can be a source of considerable anxiety as well. In this three-part series, I'm going to talk about the most common problems men face. To learn about the first one, Peyronie's disease, just

All About Anxiety

DearSugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Everyone deals with stress; it’s just part of life. But when stress overwhelms your ability to function normally, it becomes something more. Anxiety disorder affects approximately 15 million people in the US, and like depression, it comes in varying degrees and with its own set of social stigmas. Anxiety disorder can begin early or late in life, but in most cases, it's closely linked to family history as well as severe stress.

To learn about the symptoms and treatments of this challenging and common disorder,

The How-To Lounge: Catching up on Sleep

DearSugar — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:00:00 -0700

It seems like every week I’m playing catch-up on sleep from the previous weekend. In fact, until I actually make a mental note to chill out, relax, and get in some extra Zs, I just keep getting more and more run-down. And I know I’m not alone, so I want to share some of my tricks with those of you who are in desperate need of more sleep. To see them, just

The How-To Lounge: Emergency Situations

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

It's scary to think about, but emergency situations do present themselves in our lives from time to time. And knowing how to handle them calmly and efficiently is extremely important and can even mean the difference between life and death. Though no one can guarantee how they’ll respond to a situation until they find themselves there, I’ve come up with a few tips should something arise. To see them just

This or That: Claustrophobia or Car Accident?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

On an unusually busy Friday evening, you’re desperately trying to get out of work to make it to a concert with your girlfriends that you’re already running late to. By the time you leave the office, it’s pretty well cleared out and you’re practically running out the door. Would it be worse if . . .This: As your office elevator starts to make its way down it suddenly comes to a halt, and the doors don’t open? You press the emergency button to no avail. You’re stuck inside for more than two hours while they get it fixed. Or…That: You’re racing to the concert venue when a car suddenly pulls right into you? You’re fine, but your car’s left side is completely totaled, and the other driver is arguing that it was your fault for speeding. Source

This or That: Claustrophobia or Car Accident?

This — You’re trapped in an elevator for hours.

That — Your car insurance premium just doubled.

The How-To Lounge: Soothing the Pre-Wedding Jitters

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

With all the commitment that goes into a marriage, not to mention the time, energy, and money it takes to plan a wedding, it’s easy to find yourself stressed out and coping with some cold feet come the big day. If you’re feeling more than a little worried about your impending nuptials, just

You Asked: Will We Ever Be Friends Again?

DearSugar — Wed, 07 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My best friend and I had a huge falling out over my birthday when she came back to our hometown. We never spoke again after that night — call it stubborn or call it "out of sight, out of mind," since she lives in San Diego and I'm in Hawaii. We were both drunk, and I said extremely hurtful things to her, as she did to me. It's been four months since our argument and I'm devastated. I miss my friend so much. I sent her an apology letter, but I'm afraid she won't respond or that she is over our friendship altogether. At the risk of sounding dramatic, this relationship means more to me than any male/boyfriend relationship ever has. I feel like my friend is my family and I am heartbroken. What should I do? — Crushed Casey

To see DearSugar's answer,

You Asked: Is the Other Shoe Going to Drop?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I need to start off by saying that every man who has ever been in my life since I was born has been, to put it bluntly, a jerk. My mom's boyfriends/husbands cheated on her, hit her, and abused her emotionally and psychologically. In my dating life, I've also come across quite a few of these types — cheaters, liars, and abusers. I know I don't deserve to be with a person like that, which is why I'm in a relationship now with an amazing guy. We live together and things are going well, but I can't seem to get past the seriously crippling anxiety that something is going to go wrong. I want to get past this more than anything — I want to be able to completely trust the person I love with all my heart, but it's just so hard for me. I know that not all guys are jerks, and I know I have a great one. I just need help finding a way to redefine men and relationships in my mind. Any advice would be sincerely appreciated. — Apprehensive Annabelle

To see DearSugar's answer,

Sunday Confessional: I Hit and Ran

DearSugar — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

After a few years bumming rides from people, I finally got my license and in no time, I had my first accident. I was borrowing my mom's car and when I tried to reverse out of a parking space, I dented the side of the car on a pole. I was totally embarrassed and felt completely awful, but from then on, I've been overly cautious behind the wheel.Yesterday, when I was looking for parking, I saw two great spots down a one way street. I had to go around the block to get on the right side of the road, but by the time I got there, both spots had been taken. I was annoyed and decided to reverse back down the street so I didn't have to go around again, but apparently I wasn't going in a straight line and I glided past a car next to me. I got out to check my car, and there was little to no damage. I was totally relieved that no one was around to see my blunder, and I decided to park my car up the street and then come back to check on the car I hit. When I walked back down, I saw what I had done. There was a very large scratch right above the front tire; you couldn't miss it. I guess I didn't realize how hard I hit it and I immediately panicked, ran back to my car and drove away. I feel absolutely terrible. The guilt is just eating away at me and I'm even afraid there will be some sort of karmic revenge on my family or me. Can I be forgiven for this mistake? Source

Sunday Confessional: I Hit and Ran

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please share

Dear Poll: Are You on the Stress Diet?

DearSugar — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Many women want to do it all, but when there aren't enough hours in the day, we end up running on empty — literally. According to a recent article in the Daily Mail, a new type of eating disorder, "stressorexia," may be emerging amongst modern women. According to Dr Adrian Lord, consultant psychiatrist at the Cygnet Hospital in Harrow, England:

Stressorexia is not a scientific diagnosis that a doctor would make but anecdotally its symptoms are very prevalent among women.

The more women juggle, the more anxious and stressed out they become. Some say stressorexia starts with a missed lunch and spirals out of control from there, resulting in massive weight loss. When people are too preoccupied to eat, it makes perfect sense. I'm the kind of person who never skips a meal — I become shaky and irritable — but I know many people who oftentimes look down at their watch and say, "oops, I forgot to eat lunch!" So ladies, even if you're having a stressful day at work or at home with the kids, do you ever fall victim to the "stress diet"?Source

Dear Poll: Are You on the Stress Diet?

Yes — Eating is the last thing on my priority list, and whenever I'm stressed out, I always lose weight.

No — I can't function without fueling my brain. I never forget a meal, or a snack for that matter.

Other — Please explain

Do Tell: What Keeps You Up at Night?

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0800

When you get into bed at night, are you able to fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow? If not, you're not alone. Since bedtime is the only chance we have all day to be alone with our thoughts, it's sometimes difficult to turn your brain off and just relax. Allure magazine is quoting Joyce Walsleben, an associate professor of medicine at New York University School of Medicine saying:

Worrying prompts your body to produce the adrenaline-like chemical epinephrine, which keeps you awake.

I frequently fall victim to late-night thinking, mostly about how there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, but ladies, do tell, what keeps you up at night?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Coping With Holiday Anxiety

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:00:00 -0800

If you loathe the holidays, you're not alone. Many people suffer from stress during the Christmas season due to everything from parties to money, so here are some helpful tips to keep you in check.

Click here to

The How-To Lounge: Remembering Where You Parked Your Car!

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:00:00 -0800

Now that the malls are packed with holiday shoppers, it's harder than ever to remember where you parked your car. To check out some helpful tips, click here to

Helping a Friend Who Has Anxiety

DearSugar — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 10:00:00 -0800

Everyone gets nervous or anxious at some point in their lives, but if you or a friend is experiencing these feelings more times than not, anxiety might be to blame. This goes deeper than just feeling a little worried or paranoid; it's a mental condition that can cause physical symptoms such as panic attacks, sweating, increased heart rate, and heavy breathing. It can also cause people to be antisocial, withdrawn, and painfully shy.

If a friend tells you she has anxiety, here are some things you can do to help:

Invite her out as often as you can without pressuring her to come. Even though she may be nervous in social situations, the more time she spends with other people, the more comfortable she'll become.
Stick to a plan as much as possible. Spontaneity isn't a natural thing for someone with anxiety, so try to give your friend as much notice as possible if you need to change plans.
Call your friend often so she can talk abut her feelings. If something is bothering her, keeping it inside will make her feel overwhelmed and could cause even more anxiety

Want to hear the rest? Then

The How-To Lounge: Making the Best of Your Monday

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I think it's fair to say that Mondays are hard on everyone. Getting back into the swing of the work week can take a few days, so here are some tips to help make your Mondays a little more manageable.

Click here to

Dental Anxiety: You're Not Alone

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:00:00 -0700

Who likes going to the dentist? I don't like going whatsoever, and I even asked my dentist if she likes to go and she admitted that it's not always fun, but it is necessary. So we force ourselves to go, but many of us may not like it one bit.

Some people on the other hand have such severe fears and anxieties about going to the dentist, that they won't even go. Here are some common reasons people won't go to the dentist:

Fear of pain.

Fear of needles.
Fear of the Novocaine and going numb.
Fear of NOT going numb - what if the Novocaine doesn't work?
They're worried about what may or may not happen - fear of the unknown.
Fear of the drill and things near their mouth and brain.
The scraping and drilling sound.
Bad past experiences.
They're worried about receiving bad news.
They're embarrassed or ashamed of their teeth and worried the dentist will make fun of them.
Fear of gagging, choking, or throwing up.
Fear of panicking or crying.
The cost. Even with dental insurance, the bill can be excruciatingly high.

If these sound familiar, you're not alone. Many people suffer from dental phobia or dental anxiety so much that they refuse to step foot in an office. This can be detrimental to a person's pearly whites. Want to know how to get over your fears? Then

The How-To Lounge: Stop Dwelling on It!

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 10:00:00 -0700

Have you ever not been able to get an argument with your best friend out of your head? Are you still holding on to your frustration about the stained blouse you picked up from the dry cleaner yesterday? Or are you already freaking out about your presentation Monday morning? Well, if so, you're officially dwelling on it! To learn some tips to just get over it, click here to

Self-Help: Overcoming Shyness

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:00:00 -0700

When you go to a party, do you find yourself sitting in the corner, watching everyone else? When you meet new people, are you scared to open your mouth because you have nothing to say, or are you worried people may laugh about what you do say or think you're stupid? Being shy has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself. If you are self-conscious in any way, you'll cower and shrink.

Shyness, although part of your genetic makeup, may feel debilitating, but here are some techniques you can use to come out of your shell.

Since shyness has a lot to do with self-confidence, work on ways you can feel good about yourself. Exercise, eat healthy, get a fabulous haircut, go shopping for a new outfit - do things that help you believe that you are an amazing and worthwhile person. If you believe it, you'll be able to exude that feeling to others.
Be prepared. If you know of a certain social situation that's coming up, pick out your outfit, decide how you are going to do your hair, get directions, make sure your car has enough gas, and so on. Then try and make a list of topics you can talk about. You can even practice what you're going to say out loud. Once all these details are ironed out, you'll feel more confident.
Try relaxation techniques. Before attending an event or party, take a few moments to sit quietly with yourself. Try to envision a strong and confident you strutting into the place, feeling happy, energetic, and proud, and having wonderful conversations. Imagining yourself having a positive experience will bring you one step closer to achieving it.

Want to hear about what else may help? Then

Yoga for Depression and Anxiety

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:15:01 -0700

It seems like everyone is getting on the Yoga kick to reduce stress and tone up, but recent news has scientifically shown that Yoga can also bring relief for psychological conditions like depression and anxiety.

How? In your brain you have a neurotransmitter known as gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Practicing Yoga has been shown to raise GABA levels, which can regulate these disorders.

Researchers at Boston University School of Medicine and McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass., used magnetic resonance spectroscopic imaging to measure levels of GABA in the brains of 8 people doing yoga and 11 people reading. They found a 27% increase in GABA levels after one hour of yoga, while the readers showed no increase.

This study shows that there's a neurochemical response to the practice of yoga that's similar to the neurochemical responses seen when people are treated with antidepressants and other prescriptions meds. It's not to say that yoga will cure every one's symptoms, but this research is great news for people who are trying to manage their symptoms medication free.

Source

Are You Feeling Anxious?

DearSugar — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Everyone feels nervous or anxious at some point in her life. We all have experienced butterflies in our stomach right before an interview, or jitters when we're about to meet someone new or go to the doctor. It's totally normal to have worried or uneasy feelings when it comes to unknown situations like these, but what if your feelings are more severe?

For some people, feelings of anxiety are both physical and emotional. Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia) is a very common form of anxiety. Meeting new people, being in a crowd, having a first date - these types of experiences can make someone with this disorder clam up completely, feel scared, sweat, tremble, get nauseous, have chest tightness, or have difficulty speaking. These feelings are so intense that someone with Social Anxiety would rather stay home than go out.

And then there are some people that may experience anxiety for no reason. This is called Panic Disorder. They could be sitting on the couch watching TV, and all of a sudden their heart starts pounding, their stomach starts turning, and they start sweating. Some people who experience these anxiety attacks will have a hard time seeing straight or they'll get a massive headache, some even think they are having a heart attack.

Social Anxiety and Panic Disorder are only two types of Anxiety Disorders. Obsessive-Compulsive, Post-Traumatic Stress, and Generalized Anxiety Disorders also involve feeling worried or nervous. Anxiety can be hereditary, so if someone in your family suffers from it, you could too.

What can you do if you are experiencing anxiety? To find out

You Asked: Am I Asking Too Much?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 17:00:00 -0800

DearSugar --

I recently started seeing this man, and i'm really starting to like him. We have gone on 4 dates, and I am having a hard time because I only talk to him a couple of times a week. This is hard for me to deal with. In my last relationship, my boyfriend and I talked daily (multiple times, whether by text, phone, email).

I am 40 years old and have 3 children, so we both have baggage and responsibilities. But in a relationship so young, do you think it's too early to bring up the subject of how often we speak to each other? Do I need to be more patient and give it more time? ~ Hurried Heather

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Do Tell: How Do You Feel about Solitude?

DearSugar — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:01:00 -0800

We all have different thresholds for different experiences; it's a part of being uniquely ourselves. While reading the comments on another post about where you would go for a free vacation, alone, I realized that some of you had strong feelings about taking that trip solo.

So, ladies, do tell, is there something about being alone that makes you uncomfortable or anxious, or is it merely a preference for companionship? And for those of you who prefer a stretch of solitude, do tell, what is it you like about being alone?

Source

You Asked: I'm Afraid I Talk Too Much

DearSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 03:00:00 -0800

DearSugar,

Ever since I was a little girl, after my Mom died (I was 10), I've talked too much! Even my young friends were annoyed! Why do I do this, and what can I do to stop? I've tried telling myself to shut up, people don't care, but my mouth keeps going on and on. I feel sorry for people who help me at the store or answer customer service calls, because I know I'll trap them and not shut up!

Please, help me! My job is at stake. -- Chatty Cathy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer