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Newlywed Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of my newlywed coverage this week, just check out my recap below!

First comes love, then comes marriage, but what comes next? Share with us how you and your spouse dodge those annoying questions.
Changing your name after marriage is a very personal decision so is it for you?
Find out everything you need to know about writing your many thank-you notes!
Getting ready to live together? Check out my eight tips for moving in with your new spouse.
Raising children in a two religion household can be a very challenging situation. Check out what people had to say on this serious matter and weigh-in with your own views.
Be sure to see my advice for combating your post-wedding blues.
What would you do if your new husband wanted you to be a stay-at-home wife?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

8 Tips For Newlyweds Moving In Together

DearSugar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Deciding to wait until marriage to move in together is a choice that many couples make. And though any couple's move-in is a serious step, there’s something particularly significant about newlyweds starting a life together. It’s exhilarating, but certainly a little scary, so I’ve come up with some tips for moving in with your new spouse.

Talk money beforehand. Discussing and deciding who’s paying for what prior to signing a lease or shelling out a down payment will save you many potential headaches down the road.
Be prepared for an adjustment. Once you’re living together there are certain parts of your relationship that will naturally change. Whether those changes are good or bad will be determined based on your attitude toward them, so stay positive.
Figure out both of your expectations regarding cleanliness. And if they’re different, come up with a compromise you both can live with.

To see the rest just

Where Do You Stand? Changing Your Name When You Get Married

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

I have a close friend who's getting married and she has an amazing last name. It's so awesome, in fact, that everyone refers to her by it. Her dilemma then is, should she change her last name and take on her husband's after saying I do? It's a tough decision for any woman: giving up your identity to take on your man's is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Some women may find comfort in the idea of becoming a family and both having the same last name whereas others prefer to hold on to her own family roots; and then there are those who stay safe somewhere in the middle. It's totally a personal preference, so where do you stand on this issue? After getting married, will you take on your partner's last name?

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Do Tell: How Do You Dodge Those Invasive Questions?

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage . . . or does it? While there's a natural progression in all relationships, it seems that people can't help but to meddle in your personal life. The questions start when you first meet that special someone: When are you moving in? And then once you move in together, it's when are you getting engaged? And once you're married, you then get asked about having kids. Of course those are questions that already have a place in the back of your mind, but warding them off when you're either not ready or too fed up with answering them can be hard to avoid. So for all you married women out there, do tell, how do you dodge those invasive questions about starting a family?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Combating Postwedding Blues

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

With all the excitement and energy leading up to a wedding, it's likely that the day after may seem a bit lacking. Add in the emotions, relief, and exhaustion from your big day, and it's a recipe for postwedding blues. But just because the wedding is over doesn't mean you don't have plenty to look forward to in your newlywed status. Check out my advice for combating postwedding blues, and

The How-To Lounge: Writing Wedding Thank-You Notes

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Once the wedding is over and you're home from your honeymoon, it's time to get back to normal life and take care of long list of to dos. Hopefully you took note of who gave you what gift because now's the time to write your thank-you notes.

Time is of the essence so to see my dos and don'ts on how to make this process fast and painless,

Where Do You Stand: Raising Children in a Two-Religion Household

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:00:00 -0700

In today's world, it's not uncommon to marry outside of your race, culture, or religion. That's all fine and well when you don't have kids. But when children are brought into the mix, deciding how to raise them, religiously speaking, could be problematic. What if both parents have strong beliefs in their faith? Some families have no problem teaching kids both (Chanukah Bush anyone?) but is that confusing for the kids? Should one parent convert to the other's religion? Of course, this matter should be worked out before getting married and starting a family, but tell me, where do you stand on raising kids in a duel-religion household?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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You Asked: Can I Call Dibs on a Wedding Dress Even Though I'm Not Engaged?

DearSugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

Like a lot of girls out there, I have already figured out what kind of wedding I want even though there's no groom just yet! Well, my close friend is getting married and while surfing some of the more popular wedding planning websites, I showed her my "dream" dress. She fell in love with it too and now says that it's her "dream" dress as well.

I know I don't own the dress or the design, and that anyone can buy it, but I can't help but feel shocked, crushed, and even betrayed by her. Granted I am not getting married anytime soon, but when it comes to wedding dresses, I often hear women say, "You'll know it's the one when you see it" and I KNOW! What should I do? Should I say something or am I crazy for thinking this way? — Jumping the Gun Gwen

To see DearSugar's answer

Did You Fight With Your Husband on Your Honeymoon?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:00:00 -0700

After the big day is over, I can only imagine how exhausted the bride and groom must be, and I know when I'm tired, I get cranky and easily irritated. Sure, honeymoons are all about celebrating each other and relaxing after the mayhem of planning a wedding, but being a newlywed doesn't automatically make you immune to arguments. A week in a remote destination can be a lot to handle so ladies, knowing you're only human, tell me, did you and your hubby argue on your honeymoon?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: What's More Important? The Wedding or the Honeymoon?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

My friend is getting married later this month in a fairly modest wedding — just over 30 people at her grandparents' home. She and her fiancé decided to take all the money they would be spending on a bigger wedding and plan an ultrafabulous honeymoon. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a couple put their honeymoon plans before wedding celebrations, and while I can’t say whether or not it’s what I’d want for myself, I definitely see the appeal. What do you think? Is the wedding or the honeymoon more important to you? To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: What's More Important? The Wedding or the Honeymoon?

The wedding — You can always travel later, but an amazing wedding is once in a lifetime.

The honeymoon — A wedding is only one day, but a honeymoon is an experience.

I can’t decide between the two!

Neither — I’d rather take the money and buy a house.

Other — I'll explain

How Often Did You Have Sex on Your Honeymoon?

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:00:00 -0700

When you mix sexy lingerie with a picturesque atmosphere, love can't help but be in the air, and since honeymoons and sex go hand-in-hand, it's no wonder that newlyweds spend more time behind closed doors than anywhere else! So ladies, if you've been lucky enough to honeymoon with that special someone, give us single ladies something to be jealous about and tell us, how often did you get busy?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.
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This or That: Honeymoon Disasters

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

After all the stress of your wedding , the honeymoon has finally arrived, and you and your new husband couldn’t be more excited. The last year has been a whirlwind and you’re ready for some serious relaxation. But within hours of arriving, your dream honeymoon is turning into a vacation nightmare. Would it be worse if . . .This: Your luggage never makes its way around the baggage turnstile? When you talk to a rep at your airline, they inform you that they don’t know where your luggage is or when it will arrive, but hopefully within five days — nearly your entire trip. Or . . .That: Before you have a chance to even change into your bathing suit, you’re sick beyond belief? You’re stuck in the bathroom sick to your stomach for half of your stay. To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

This or That: Honeymoon Disasters

This — You have a week-long vacation with only the clothes on your back.

That — Half of your honeymoon is spent attached to the toilet bowl.

Dear Poll: Did You Buy New Lingerie For Your Honeymoon?

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

I can't think of a honeymoon without instantly thinking about sex — they just go hand in hand. Not only does hotel sex make everything more fun, but dressing the part is another piece of the puzzle that sets the mood for romance. Even though I'm not a lingerie girl per se, I'm all for bending the rules for special occasions and I can't think of anything more special than your honeymoon! So ladies, even though you spent a lot of money on your wedding, and no doubt a pretty penny on your honeymoon itself, tell me, did you buy new lingerie for your honeymoon or did you pack your sexiest getups from your already-established lingerie wardrobe?To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: Did You Buy New Lingerie For Your Honeymoon?

I bought all new lingerie. It's my only honeymoon so I wanted it to be as special as possible!

I just bought one new piece for our first night and it didn't stay on very long!

I just brought things I already own.

I've never been a lingerie person — I'm more of a tank top and boy shorts kind of girl!

Other — Please share!

Dear Poll: Relaxing or Adventurous Honeymoon?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Yesterday Honeymoon Fiasco Francesca asked me for advice on how she and her fiance could compromise on their honeymoon destination because she wanted to relax and he wanted to explore. Since I've never been married, I can only imagine how hard it must be to agree on where to go for your honeymoon, not to mention agreeing on everything that comes a long with planning a vacation. When the time comes for me to make such decisions, I'll be all for relaxing and getting pampered, but what about you? Would you prefer a relaxing or adventurous honeymoon?To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: Relaxing or Adventurous Honeymoon?

I want to go anywhere relaxing with a beach and a fabulous spa!

I want to explore and go someplace adventurous that neither one of us have ever been to before.

I want a little bit of both!

Other — I'll explain below

The How-To Lounge: Honeymooning at Home

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Though the idea of spending the week after your wedding exploring Mayan ruins, eating real Italian pizza, or lounging in the Caribbean is fantasy worthy, for many newlyweds the reality is that such extravagant (and expensive) honeymoons just aren't possible. But fortunately, there's still plenty of just-married fun to be had without a plane ticket or months of planning. To see my ideas for honeymooning at home please

You Asked: My Fiancé and I Can't Agree on Our Honeymoon!

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months — everything is planned and ready to go, but we just can't seem to agree on where to go for our honeymoon! I know it's typically the man's responsibility to plan and pay for it, but if I left it up to him, we'd be hiking in the Himalayas when all I really want to do is relax on a beach somewhere.

Without creating an argument, how can we come to an agreement on where to go and what to do? I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I think it's important for us both to be happy. — Honeymoon Fiasco Francesca

To see DearSugar's answer

The Big Day Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of the big day coverage this past week, just check out my recap below!

If you've been wondering what the maid of honor should be doing on the big day, then check out my list of MOH responsibilities to get the low down.
Most weddings wouldn't be complete without something going wrong, but do you know of any truly terrible wedding disasters?
Even if the wedding isn't flawless that doesn't mean it's not perfect, so what's most memorable from your big day?
Share your thoughts on the old wedding traditions — tossing a garter belt and wedding night sex — and the more contemporary twists, like letting a friend officiate the ceremony!
Is it OK to ask to bring a date to someone's wedding?
Some couples are brave enough to bust out all the crazy moves at their wedding, but what song did you and your husband dance to?
Are you superstitious? Do you think it's actually bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony?
Wedding day jitters are perfectly normal, but that doesn't make them any easier to deal with, so check out some tips for combating cold feet.
Her fiance's father is a terrible speaker, but does No Speech Please Paula have the right to ask him not to speak at the wedding?
Where do you stand: Should the bride and groom make a grand exit?
Don't forget to take a glance at part four in our wedding timeline series to see all you should be doing two to four months before the wedding.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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What Did You Remember Most About Your Wedding Night?

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

You plan your wedding for months on end to make sure every detail is perfect. Of course it's inevitable to have a few hiccups along the way, but at the end of the day, the good far outweighs the bad. So whether it's the walk down the aisle, the vows, the first dance, or cutting the cake, tell me ladies, what do you remember most about your wedding night?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Is Sex Mandatory on Your Wedding Night?

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

It used to be that having sex on your wedding night was the official culmination of becoming man and wife. For many people this remains true, but for others, wedding-night sex, while important, just doesn’t hold the same meaning. Some couples are so beat from the big day that all they really want to do is crawl into bed, cuddle, and fall right to sleep. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with taking that night off, but many disagree. So tell me, do you think sex is mandatory on your wedding night? To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: Is Sex Mandatory on Your Wedding Night?

Without a doubt! You have to start off your married life on the right foot.

I don't think it's mandatory for everyone, but it is for me!

No way. There's no rule that says you must.

Undecided — I'll explain.

Do Tell: What Song Did You Dance to at Your Wedding?

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Songs like "At Last," "Unforgettable," and "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" are popular first-dance songs at weddings, and while I'm all for using a traditional love song as the first dance, I think stepping it up a notch is also a fun way to kick off the celebration. Though I don't think I'd have the nerve to do something like the couple below, I would be the first one on my feet rooting them on! So in the spirit of wedding season, do tell: What song did you dance to at your wedding?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

A Do or a Don't: Garter Belts

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

The garter-belt toss is a particular wedding tradition that though still in use, hasn’t stood the test of time quite like the bouquet toss and the white dress. I’ve never seen a garter-belt toss that didn’t somehow feel awkward or forced, but I imagine if it's done tastefully, it can be cute. I'm a traditional girl, but still, there’s something weird about watching the bride lift her skirt in front of her closest family and friends! But what do you think? Are garter belts classic or just plain crass?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Where Do You Stand: Should the Bride and Groom Make a Grand Exit?

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

The spotlight has been on the bride and groom all day, so at the end of the night when everyone has finally let loose and gotten into the groove, do you think they should go out with a bang and make a grand exit or sneak away, letting guests celebrate without interruption? Although making a big deal out of the departure seems a little outdated, some couples prefer to keep every part of their wedding day as traditional as possible. Of course no one way is better than the other, so weigh in and tell me where you stand on the bride and groom making a big deal out of their good-bye. Is that what a wedding is really all about or does it just seem a little too contrived?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Do Tell: Would You Let a Friend Officiate Your Wedding?

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While even the most contemporary weddings can be fairly standard, it’s the personal touches that make a wedding really special. One new trend that I've noticed in many of the weddings I've been to recently is using a friend as the officiator of the ceremony.

At first it seemed strange, but now I happen to love the idea of having someone especially close to the bride and groom standing with them while they make their vows official. While this certainly doesn’t work for all couples, it can be a great way to make a ceremony totally unique if you're willing to try something different. So ladies, do tell, would you let a friend officiate your wedding?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Bella Pictures

You Asked: I Don't Want His Dad Speaking at Our Wedding

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are getting married in August, but we're having some issues in regards to toasts and speeches at the reception. Currently, my fiancé's father is planning on speaking. Neither my fiancé or I ever asked him to do so, he's just decided it's what he wants since he's paying for a majority of the wedding.

To make matters worse, we never would have asked him because he's terribly awkward and is known to tell inappropriate family stories. He's long winded, too! I'm terrified that he's going to go on for an hour and completely humiliate us. My fiancé would prefer we just take our chances, rather than tell his dad "no," but I just can't bear the idea of him talking. How can we compromise on this?

— No Speech Please Paula

To see DearSugar's answer,

The How-To Lounge: Soothing the Pre-Wedding Jitters

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

With all the commitment that goes into a marriage, not to mention the time, energy, and money it takes to plan a wedding, it’s easy to find yourself stressed out and coping with some cold feet come the big day. If you’re feeling more than a little worried about your impending nuptials, just

Is It Bad Luck For the Bride and Groom to See Each Other Before the Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Since I'm so traditional, you probably won't be surprised to hear that I consider it bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding ceremony. Of course some couples don't believe in that old-wives tale, and I'm sure those that do get a peek or even share a moment together before their walk down the aisle still live happily ever after. I'm just too superstitious to chance it. Are you like me? Do you think it's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before saying "I do"?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Maid of Honor Responsibilities on the Big Day

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While many of the maid of honor’s duties revolve around wedding planning, when it comes to the big day, she still has many final responsibilities awaiting her. Although the most important job is to keep the bride as stress-free as possible, there are many other details that shouldn’t be overlooked. To see some of the most significant maid of honor duties on the wedding day,

Do Tell: What's the Worst Wedding Day Disaster You've Ever Heard?

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Even after months and months of planning for a wedding, it's inevitable that something will go wrong. Whether it's a minor hiccup or a full-blown disaster, all brides have been there. So ladies, even if you aren't hitched, do tell, what was the worst wedding day disaster you've ever heard of or experienced?

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The How-To Lounge: Wedding Timeline, Part IV

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

As the final months of wedding planning approach it's time to start finalizing all the details. You don't want to let the stress of bridal showers and last minute emergencies get the best of you. So check out part four in our Wedding Timeline series, and find out what you need to do in your last few months before the big day and

You Asked: Can I Ask to Bring a Date to Their Wedding?

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I need some advice on the correct and most gracious protocol on asking about a plus-one to a wedding. I am a bridesmaid in one of my dear friend's wedding. It's a destination wedding so I would love to bring my boyfriend as my date, however it's a very intimate wedding (family and close friends only), with a large reception to follow afterwards, back here at home. While the engaged couple has met my boyfriend, he travels often and hasn't had a chance to get particularly close to them (though they get along very well).

I absolutely understand that this is my friend's day and I will go along with whatever she prefers, even if that means that I go solo, but do you think it's even worth asking her if I'm allowed a plus-one date or should I assume that it's out of the question? I love my friend and I don't want to create any awkwardness or have her feel like she must say yes, but it would mean so much to me to have my boyfriend there with me for the long weekend. — He Wasn't Invited Ingrid

To see DearSugar's answer

Wedding Parties Week in Review

DearSugar — Sat, 17 May 2008 09:21:30 -0700

Just in case you missed any of the wedding party week coverage here on Dear, you can check out my recap below!

Coed parties are the new trend, but are they a good idea or a bad idea?
Learn all the proper etiquette when it comes to throwing a bachelorette party or bridal shower.
What do you think? How many pre-wedding parties are too many?
Managing family issues during your wedding can be a real struggle, so check out my advice for dealing with a demanding sister-in-law, estranged relatives, and a familial rift.
Would you want to know what goes on at your man's bachelor party?
Make sure to check out the newest installment in Dear's wedding timeline series for your wedding planning needs.
Bachelorette parties can range from totally wild to spa-day relaxing. What kind do you want?
When it comes to party entertainment, are bridal shower games and penis paraphernalia dos or don'ts?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Would You Want to Know?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 08:00:49 -0700

Bachelor parties are known for their wild and crazy antics. It's a time for boys to be boys and for good friends to let loose and revert to their partying ways. But when you add in the code of secrecy that so many bachelor parties abide by, it can leave the women curious and worried about what really happened.I'm all for guys having alone time with their friends, and while I'd like to think I wouldn't be a controlling girlfriend who needs to know all the details, I just don't know if I could resist asking! Since I'm torn on the subject, tell me, would you want to know the specifics of your fiance's bachelor party, or are some things better left unsaid? To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: Would You Want to Know?

Yes, I'd want to know and I think I have a right to know.

No, I completely trust my fiance. What happened on his bachelor party is his business, not mine.

Other — Please explain in the comments below.

You Asked: I Can't Stand My Future Sister-in-Law

DearSugar — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are getting married later this Summer, but my negative relationship with his sister is putting a damper on things. We've always been friendly toward one another, but we've never really connected as friends in any way. Since the wedding planning has begun, she's been helping out with some of the details, so I've started to spend more time with her. As it turns out, we have a lot of conflicting opinions on things, and even though it's my wedding, we've managed to butt heads over a few choices I've made. She has a certain set of views and beliefs and if she feels like you're not following them, she lets you know in a very upfront manner.

Needless to say at this point I'm really annoyed. I have my bachelorette party coming up in a month that I want to keep very small, with only my closest friends — I really don't want to invite her. I feel like she'll put a complete damper on my mood. I talked to my fiancé about it, but he thinks his sister will be offended if she's not on the invite list, so I just don't know what to do. Can I get away with not inviting her to the bachelorette party?

— Sick of My Sister-in-Law Selena

To see DearSugar's answer,

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Coed Parties

DearSugar — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Although I love the traditional female-only showers and bachelorette parties, I think there’s something really fun about the concept of sharing those special occasions with the man in your life. Then again, before taking the plunge, some serious girl time is definitely in order. Plus sometimes throwing guys into the mix only makes things more complicated and less fun; there's really nothing like just being with the girls! So ladies, what do you think, are co-ed prewedding parties a good idea or a bad idea? Source

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Coed Parties

Good Idea: I think joint parties are great; the more the merrier.

Bad Idea: The shower and the bachelorette party are a chance for the women to get together and just be girls.

Undecided — Please share

What Kind of a Bachelorette Party Do You Want?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I've been to a handful of bachelorette parties, some relaxing and some wild and crazy, but my favorite one had a little bit of both. Picking the location of your bachelorette party takes a lot of consideration, especially when factoring in a bunch of different women's preferences. If I were to plan my own, it'd be someplace warm so we could be poolside by day, but also someplace fun so we could be painting the town red by night. While I think that's a pretty common criteria for a bachelorette party, some women vote for a weekend getaway in the snow or opt to rent a house somewhere discrete and have a very mellow retreat. So tell me ladies, even if you aren't currently engaged or married, what kind of bachelorette party do you want? Do you want to relax or go all out?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Do Tell: How Many Pre-Wedding Parties Are Too Many?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Being a part of someone's wedding is a huge honor, but it's also very time-consuming and expensive. It seems that everyone's free time is getting more and more limited, so when you add wedding requirements to the mix, they can feel like more of a burden than an event to look forward to. Typically brides have one engagement party, one bridal shower, and one bachelorette party, but some have many more. Now I love a good party, don't get me wrong, but I know how monotonous these kind of parties can be. So ladies, do tell, how many pre-wedding parties are too many?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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A Do or a Don't: Bridal Shower Games

DearSugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Wedding showers are notorious for their getting-to-know-you games, like making a wedding dress out of toilet paper or seeing how few times you can say the word "wedding." Though in theory, games should be fun, sometimes they’re just not! I love the idea of doing something at the shower that both the young and old can participate in, but I think that the typical games can be a little blah if not flat-out cheesy. But ladies, what do you think? Are shower games a do or a don’t? To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

A Do or a Don't: Bridal Shower Games

A Do — I actually really like shower games! They may be juvenile but they're fun!

A Don't — They're just a waste of time. I'd much rather get to know someone by talking with them, not playing a game.

Other — Please explain in the comments below.

You Asked: Do I Have to Invite Her to My Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 13 May 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,
I am getting married, and my fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding. We are keeping it small, and I don't want to invite my aunt and her family who both my mother and I have a long history of ill will toward. Our families have had numerous verbal blowouts, and my aunt hasn't even acknowledged my engagement with a call, card, or a gift.

My mom wants me to invite them to keep peace in the family for my 90-year-old grandfather, but I feel that having them there in such a small intimate setting will be bad karma and could ruin my wedding day. Do I have an obligation to invite them? I could use some objective advice to present to my mother. — Torn Tammy

To see DearSugar's answer,

The How-To Lounge: Bridal Shower Etiquette

DearSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Traditionally a bridal shower is an opportunity for women to get together to "shower" the bride in the presents that she’ll need to make a home. While certainly times have changed in terms of wedding etiquette, generally, bridal showers have remained the same. To find out some basic shower etiquette and ways to make this traditional event more contemporary,

The How-To Lounge: Wedding Timeline, Part III

DearSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

With six months to go before the big day, you should have the more pressing things taken care of and all the smaller details still awaiting you in the months to come. However, before you reach the final few months of planning, there are some important things to check off your list. To see what those are, check out part three in our wedding timeline series and

Wedding Planning Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of wedding planning week here on Dear, check out my recap below!

Learn proper wedding reception etiquette, like how to arrange your seating chart and the best way to incorporate speeches and toasts.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently at your wedding?
Know of any wedding disaster stories? Share them with other Dear readers!
Need some help tackling that hefty guest list? Make it easy with Dear's handy tips.
When it comes to inviting kids to the big day, where do you stand?
Weddings are expensive even if it is not yours, so who do you think should have to pay for the bridesmaid expenses?
Stay on top of your wedding planning and check out part two of our wedding timeline.
Would you ever write your own vows?
His mom just won't butt out of the wedding planning! How would you handle this?
I've got everything you need to know to plan your rehearsal dinner without the fuss!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Where Do You Stand: Kid-Free Weddings

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week, Broke Bride Brooke was put in an awkward situation when one of her guests asked if she could bring her parents to Brooke's small wedding to care for the guest's 2-year-old child. This created quite a dilemma because the bride really can't afford to have them there, which is why I (semi-jokingly) thought TidalWave's suggestion of making it a kid-free wedding was a pretty good one! Now I've never received an "adult only" wedding invitation, and while part of me thinks it makes sense, another part of me thinks it's pretty tacky. I agree that there's a time and a place for kids to be present, but what about those who can't afford a sitter, or new mothers who are still breastfeeding? I think kids bring a fun element to any occasion, but where do you stand on kid-free weddings?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Would You Write Your Own Vows?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

It’s getting more and more commonplace for people to opt out of the traditional wedding and come up with something completely their own. Some of the more obvious changes are location, colors, and the use of themes but there are also subtle differences that can make a wedding seem more special, such as writing your own vows. I'm more traditional, but I think the idea of writing your own vows is a really nice way to share your love for one another and make your wedding day unique. So ladies, would you consider writing your own vows? To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: Would You Write Your Own Vows?

Definitely, I think it really adds something to the ceremony.

No, I’m all about the traditional vows.

I’d want to, but I don't know what I would say.

Undecided

What Do You Want to Do Before Tying the Knot?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:00:00 -0700

We are fast approaching wedding season, but prior to tying the knot, aren't there just a few things you want to do before entering into wedded bliss? If you need ideas, check out this entertaining Cosmo article on MSN that offers up 17 of them! Check out the list:

Date a guy who's totally wrong for you just because he has amazing abs.
Collect at least six country stamps on your passport, including one from a place that until recently you didn't even know existed.
Embrace feminine decor.
Take advantage of the whole bed.
Spend an embarrassing amount of money on a designer bag you love or heels that make you feel incredibly sexy.
Learn how to change a tire and work a drill.
Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet.

Want to see more? Then

Would Having an Extravagant/Expensive Wedding Deter You From Calling It Quits?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Another celebrity couple has called it quits, and yet again, I have to say I'm not all that surprised. Star Jones, who married Al Reynolds back in 2004, made her wedding more of a celebrity circus than a day to celebrate their love. She had numerous wedding sponsors and she made it very clear that she wanted her wedding to be one of the biggest parties of the year but as we all know, it's more about the marriage than the wedding. So what happens when you have a larger-than-life dream wedding only to have the marriage dissolve? Does it add even more pressure and angst to your decision to separate? Would you feel embarrassed or guilty that you placed so much emphasis on it? Ladies, what I'm asking is, would you have second thoughts about ending your unhappy marriage if you had a big, extravagant, over-the-top wedding?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Reception Speech and Toast Etiquette

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While the toasts at a rehearsal dinner are casual, the wedding reception usually has its own set of more formal speeches. Having planned speeches at your wedding is in no way mandatory, but if you don’t account for them, they’re likely to happen anyway, so before the big day, it’s best to sit down for a few minutes to plan them out. To check out my tips on reception speech etiquette,

Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I think we can all agree that the worst part of being in a wedding is the expense. Though traditionally wedding attendants pay for their own attire and travel expenses, that particular rule has never made much sense to me. Obviously in some cases, especially when it’s a large wedding party, expecting the bride and groom to pay seems unrealistic, but I just don’t know how I feel about this one. Proper etiquette aside, who do you think should pay for the bridesmaid expenses? To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.Source

Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?

The bride and groom – it’s their wedding.

The attendants – it’s traditional.

Other — Please explain.

Handle This: His Mom Won't Butt Out of the Wedding

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

You get along great with your fiancé’s mom, or you did until the wedding planning got into full swing. At first, her help was great but now you feel like you’re planning her wedding. Her intentions are always good, but she’s very controlling and pretty much demands that she gets what she wants.

On a recent dress shopping trip, she tells you that she doesn’t like the one you absolutely love. His parents are helping out with a lot of the expenses, and you don’t want to offend his mom, but you’ve hit your limit; you love this wedding dress! How do you handle this?

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The How-To Lounge: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Though often overlooked, the rehearsal dinner is an important part of the wedding-planning process. Not only is it an opportunity to enjoy some much-needed fun, but it’s also a way for the bride and groom to give thanks to the people who’ve put energy, time, and money into their wedding. To check out some advice on making your rehearsal dinner just right for you,

You Asked: She Invited Her Family to My Wedding!

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are pulling together our wedding on our own with no help from a wedding planner and minimal financial help from our families. We are trying to keep our guest list reasonable so that we can stick to our budget. This has proven to be difficult since we both have large extended families, so we've had to pick and choose who we're inviting. So imagine my surprise when my fiancé's brother's wife called me to insist that her parents (who I've never met) be invited to the wedding to care for her 2-year-old child. It would be one thing if she was a direct family member, but they are a few degrees removed. To add insult to injury, my fiancé's brother's wife is already bringing a nanny, which makes her request even more outlandish.

When she first asked me about this, she did ask, however as I told her about our budgeting concerns, she became increasingly adamant, and ending up basically instructing me to invite them. Since we are paying for 90 percent of this wedding, I feel like I should be able to just say no, but I don't want to start off my marriage on the wrong foot, this is part of his family after all. I'm really told but most of all astounded by her query. Do you have any advice?
— Broke Bride Brooke

To see DearSugar's answer