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10 Common Places to Lose Your Virginity

DearSugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Whether you lost your virginity when you were 14 or 24, I'm sure many of you hold that memory close to your heart. It may not have been as glamorous or enjoyable as you dreamed it would be, but nothing can make you forget how it went down. Since I've heard my fair share of virginity stories, I've come up with a list of 10 common places where people get it on for the first time.

At sleepaway camp
Your car or his
Your bedroom at your parents' house
A hotel room after prom
The makeout spot

To see the other five places

You Asked: My Boyfriend Is Inexperienced

DearSugar — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. He had never been with a girl before me, and as a result of his lack of experience, he's never given me an orgasm. Since he's inexperienced, I don't think he realizes just how much effort it takes to help a woman climax. After a year of never saying anything, I think he assumes it's OK with me. Unfortunately, it really does matter to me.

Lately I'm feeling resentful that he orgasms every time we're together and I never have. He only spends a few minutes on me and doesn't realize how unsatisfied that leaves me. I don't want to bring it up because I feel like it's too much to ask from him to spend twice as long making me feel good (even though I do it for him all the time). I guess I want him to want me to orgasm, not just because I asked for it. Otherwise I feel like I'm making an unreasonable demand.

At the same time, I know that I'm being childish and immature by remaining silent about what's really bothering me and then blaming him for not doing anything about it. So how do I talk to him about this without hurting him, and how do I get over my own issues with asking?

— Sexual Dissatisfied Diana

To see DearSugar's answer,

You Asked: Is He Sincere?

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I met this really amazing guy about two months ago, and we hit it off extremely well. Soon after I met him we both exchanged pieces of rather fragile information. I have an STI, and he is a virgin. It was kind of awkward after he told me, because it felt like totally opposite situations. I'm a very affectionate girl and he wasn't used to that either.

He told me the other night that he was ready to sleep with me but I don't know how to react. I don't know if I'm ready, not because I don't care about him but because I don't believe that he's ready. I think he just wants to get it over with, and it doesn't matter if it's with me or any other girl. I really want it to be special for him. How do I tell if he's sincere?

— Uncertain About Sex Sasha

To see DearSugar's answer,

Handle This: He's a Virgin

DearSugar — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

After a month of dating, things have been getting hot and heavy with your new man. But just before things take off, he always puts a stop to them. You’re not opposed to waiting longer to have sex, but you can’t help notice how quick he is to move things away from that territory.

On a particularly romantic and special night together, you think it’s finally going to happen. He’s set the mood and doesn’t appear to be as uncomfortable as he usual is. But just as things heat up, he pulls away from you yet again, admitting that he’s never had sex before and is scared. How would you handle this?

Source

Italian Supermodel Offers Her Virginity For a Million: Why?

CitizenSugar — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:15:38 -0700

I guess hard times call for desperate measures? Italian supermodel and reality show star Raffella Fico, 20, is planning to sell her most precious of treasures — her virginity. How much does something like that fetch in the marketplace? One million euros. Rico told an Italian magazine of her plan, "I can't wait to see who's going to pull out the money to have me." Swearing she's never had sex before, she was unfazed by the idea of a less-than-attractive . . . patron. "If I don't like him I'll just have a glass of wine and forget about it," she said. Would that Rico was the first person to hatch such a scheme, but others have cashed in on their "charms" before. Last week an 18-year-old San Diego student offered her first time for a million bucks to fund her education, saying, "We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?" Similarly, in 2005 a Peruvian model considered selling her first time for $1.5 million to pay family medical bills before reconsidering. Whether a tougher economy, a new tough brand of feminism, or a more permissive culture, what's behind this selling of self?

Italian Supermodel Offers Her Virginity For a Million: Why?

Why not? It's her decision and if she can make a million more power to her.

This is a devastating effect of a tough economy. Maybe she has no other choice?

Our culture is entirely too permissive. Girls think stunts like this are cute. It's so sad.

Publicity. We're reading about her now, right? It's a stunt for attention.

Other. I'll tell you what I make of this in the comments.

What's the Deal With Revirgination?

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700

I just came across a disturbing website called Revirgination. It's devoted to giving you info about hymen repair. Why, you may ask? So you can look and feel like a virgin again.

After you've had sex for the first time, supposedly your hymen (a fold of mucous membrane that partially covers the external vaginal opening) breaks, so having hymenoplasty surgery can help reclaim your virginity once it's been lost. The website says that "you wouldn't want your boyfriend/future husband to feel ashamed because your hymen no longer exists," but a woman's hymen isn't necessarily an indication that she's a virgin. Many times this mucous membrane can separate due to nothing sexual at all: strenuous activities, sports, inserting a tampon, or for no apparent reason whatsoever. Masturbation can also cause the hymen to separate, but for some women, even after intercourse, the hymen remains intact.

This whole idea about revirgination just confuses me — a little surgery down there isn't going to erase the sexual experiences you've had, so what's the point? Perhaps it makes sense for some, so weigh in and tell me what you think about revirgination.

Source

What Age (If Any) Is Too Early to Lose Your Virginity?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:35:00 -0700

While perusing through Us Weekly at the gym this morning, I saw an interesting quote from Megan Fox that got me thinking. She said, "If a guy loses his virginity at 15, that's great, but if a girl does, it's shocking and awful. . . I think that's wrong."

I find it surprising that she even has to say this. I mean I thought these social stigmas about sex have changed . . . but maybe I'm wrong. Do you agree with her statement? Are young girls who have sex considered sluts, and young men considered studs? Is there a certain age a person should wait before they become sexually active? Is it different for guys and girls? Or do you think it's a personal decision for the individual to make?

Source

Powersuit of Tradition: Sworn Virgins In Albania Are Dwindling

CitizenSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:05:57 -0700

In Albania, gender equality has a literal meaning — and a less modern, more traditional translation that your 9 to 5 or Working Girl tropes. For centuries, sworn virginity has allowed woman to live as men, with all the responsibilities and rights that accompany the role in a conservative society.

In closed-off rural northern Albania, the practice of swapping genders was a practical solution motivated by social necessity, for a family with a shortage of men. One woman decided to make the change after her father was killed leaving no male heir. The custom she chose requires a vow of lifetime virginity — in exchange for living as a man with all the authority the gender commands — including the obligation to avenge her father’s death. Though she says she wouldn't necessarily do it now, then it was an easy decision:

Back then, it was better to be a man because before a woman and an animal were considered the same thing. Now, Albanian women have equal rights with men, and are even more powerful. I think today it would be fun to be a woman.

With sexual equality and modern trappings seeping into Albania (including MTV which popped in after the fall of the Berlin Wall) the tradition is fading. Not needing to make the vow to own property, move freely, or avoid an arranged marriage, now there are only about 40 sworn virgins remaining. The decision not only created equality in life, it created equality in worth. A woman is worth is half that of a man, but a virgin is worth the same as a man — 12 oxen.

The changes of modern times don't sit well with all the sworn virgins. To see why,

Annulment Based on Bride's Fake Virginity Outrages French

LibertySugar — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:00:51 -0700

A court's decision to annul a marriage because the bride lied about being a virgin has the French worried that their secular values are under siege by religious immigrants.

The case involved a Muslim couple. Under their strict religious tradition, a woman must prove virginity on her wedding night. The court ruled that since the couple was Muslim, virginity was a prerequisite to the marriage. Thus, her misrepresentation of the requirement made the marriage invalid.

Women's rights activists say that the ruling treats women as a defected good in a commercial transaction. In addition, France's champions of secularism, who have worked to resist the religious influence of some 5 million Muslims that help make up France's population of 64 million, are outraged.

Their interpretation of secularism often leans towards forced secularism. To see how,

Sunday Confessional: My Fiancé Thinks I'm a Virgin, but I'm Not

DearSugar — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

My fiancé and I have been engaged for the past year and were together for a year before that. We were both 20 when we met, and within the first few weeks of our relationship my fiancé confided in me that he was a virgin and intended to be until he was married. He comes from a very religious and traditional family, and his values and morals are extremely important to him — one of the many reasons why I love him. I knew that there was something special between us, so I didn't think twice about having to hold off on sex. But when he went on to tell me that he needed to be with a woman who shared the same values, I panicked. Out of fear of losing him, I made a horrible error and lied about my own sexual history. I told him that I too was a virgin and wanted to wait until marriage, when in fact, I had had sex with two other guys. It's now two years later and just over a month away from our wedding. I know that my fiancé is nearly more excited for the wedding night than the actual wedding, and this secret is eating away at me. I love him more than words can describe. I don't want to disappoint him or hurt him; it will destroy him to find out about this. Can I ever be forgiven if I continue this secret and never tell him? Source

Sunday Confessional: My Fiancé Thinks I'm a Virgin, but I'm Not

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please share.