In my book, there’s never a good excuse to cheat, but sadly I’ve had friends who’ve cheated, and they’ve always managed to come up with multiple excuses. Even if I can understand their rationale, I still want them to stop. It goes without saying that when I’ve been in the position of supporting a friend who’s cheating, it’s been extremely difficult for me.
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A friend recently confided in me about some issues she’s dealing with regarding her weight — something she's apparently been trying to manage for years. I was totally surprised by her admission; of course she has her least favorite spot, but she always comes off incredibly secure with her body. When I asked why she had never opened up to me about it before, she said that she was too embarrassed.
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DearSugar and Pregnant Patsy need your help. She just found out that she's pregnant, but at the age of 20, she and her boyfriend decided that the timing isn't right to have a baby. Everything is in motion for her abortion, but she's feeling an intense amount of anger toward her boyfriend and doesn't know why or if her feelings are valid.
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You’ve been close with your best friend since you were kids, and you’ve witnessed her love life every step of the way. After a difficult end to a doomed engagement, she’s been having a hard time moving on.
Next thing you know she’s taken up with a man 20 years older than her.
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Often we’re faced with situations in life when those who we care about make choices we don’t approve of. Obviously if those decisions put them in harms way then we have to come forward and say something, but otherwise, our differing opinions on their lives can be taken as attacks or judgments. Whether we like it or not, sometimes it’s best to remain supportive even when we don’t feel like it.
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Dear Sugar,
I'm 21 years old and currently going into my last year of college. Before I was with my current boyfriend, I was in another long-term relationship, which ended when I went to college. My parents made my life miserable by pressuring me to break up with him, telling me that we weren't right together.
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I recently encountered a married couple about to celebrate their 40-year anniversary, and of course, I took the opportunity to ask them what their secret to success has been. Much to my surprise they both agreed that one of the biggest factors in a happy relationship is always making sure the other person looks good. According to them, you should each be the other's number-one fan, which means never a snarky comment or embarrassing story in public.
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In an article for July's issue of Marie Claire, Sarah Ivens, editor in chief of OK! magazine, chronicles her weight-loss journey's disappointing effect on many of her female friendships. After being told she was obese by a nutritionist, Ivens committed to changing her unhealthy ways, but found her friends didn't share her positive attitude.
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Dear Sugar,
I have recently landed a great new job. The most important thing is that I have worked really hard to get here, but my friends are super negative about it. It has gotten to the point where I lie about being happy in my job just so they'll back off.
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As children, we go to our parents or elders when we’re upset, but as adults, our parents may no longer be the obvious choice; in fact, they can end up being our last resort. Sometimes the family we’ve built with our friends and significant others is where we turn for support and encouragement when the going gets tough. And yet, others prefer to deal with feelings of sadness by themselves.
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