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You Asked: Is It Too Late to Mend Our Friendship?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

Last year I went to visit one of my best friends in Chicago. Before I had arrived, she mentioned that she cut her hair really short. A few years ago when I did the same thing, she would tease me about it, so the night I arrived, in joking, I said something about her new "boy" do. I reassured her later that night that I was just teasing, but during my visit I couldn't help but feel that she was distant towards me.
After I left, she stopped returning my phone calls and when I would see her online, she would not respond to my IMs. After about a month, she finally called me to let me know that I had really hurt her feelings. I apologized and I reiterated that I was only joking with her, but I'm not sure I made things better because I pointed out that she had teased me when I had my hair cut that short, too. She reminded me that she's a lot more sensitive than I am and told me I should have known better. I apologized and thought we had worked everything out, but I haven't talked to her in over a year. I left her messages on her birthday, on Christmas, and on New Year's last year, but I haven't heard a peep in response so I decided to give her some space.

I miss her terribly and want nothing more than to have my friend back so should I call her and make another attempt to mend our relationship, or should I just respect her obvious decision not to talk to me and just leave it at that? — Cut Out Constance

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You Asked: Can I Exclude One of Our Friends?

DearSugar — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I organized a Secret Santa among a group of friends this year. On exchange day, everyone received something and it went off well, however, one participant received a gift that she clearly didn't like. She complained publicly about every aspect of the gift and her Secret Santa was quite upset by this. I'll be organizing the event again next year and I wanted to ask you if it would be OK to exclude this girl. And if so, how would I go about doing that? — Poor Manners Molly

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Would You Be There For a Friend No Matter What?

DearSugar — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Fighting with your best friend can be even more heartbreaking than fighting with a significant other, but a bond between BFFs is hard to completely let go. This was proven last night on The Hills when Lauren and Heidi caught up at the SLS Hotel opening. Although their relationship is undoubtedly strained, Lauren could see right though Heidi's tough exterior and told her that no matter what, if she ever needed anything, she'd be there for her.

After all they've been through, it was clear that they missed each other, but tell me, could you ever be that gracious to someone who betrayed you?

To get all the fashion from last night's episode, check out our new site, CelebStyle.

Photo courtesy of MTV

Are You Closer to Your Newer or Older Friends?

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:00:00 -0800

Jennifer Aniston paid David Letterman a visit last night to talk about her new movie Marley & Me and, of course, her personal life. While chatting about holiday plans, Jen said she'd be with her extended group of friends. Then Dave asked her a very interesting question that I want to ask all of you: Are you closer to your newer or older friends? I like to think I'm close to both, but what about you?

Source

5 Ways to Avoid Holiday Blues

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

The holidays can be a stressful time of year, so if you're prone to feeling down and out, check out my five tips on how to avoid the holiday blues. If I've left something out, tell us what works for you — the more tips the merrier! Source

Handle This: She Cancels on Your New Year's Eve Plans

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800

If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?

You and your best friend made New Year's Eve plans months ago, which was a huge relief to you since there's always so much hype around that night. You each bought tickets to an all-inclusive party, and since most of your friends are coupled up, she's essentially your date.

When your friend calls you asking if you have time to talk, you can tell in her voice that something's wrong. She tells you that her best guy friend from college was asked to attend an incentive trip for his company and was invited to bring a plus one — her. The vacation overlaps with your New Year's plans, but she said it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. She's very apologetic, but she's left you in the lurch; you're going to be the only single one in your group. You're angry, but you don't want to hold a grudge, so how would you handle this?

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: He Hates Kids!

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and At a Loss Anna need your help. Though she and her boyfriend share the same feelings about not starting a family in the near future, she's concerned with the way he treats kids overall. Her parents are telling her that his behavior should be a deal breaker, but she's in love! What do you suggest she do?

Dear Sugar,
I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half and things are going great. We share a lot of things in common, including our feelings toward kids. Neither one of us really like, or want a child . . . at least for now. But recently, I've become really upset and turned off by the way he treats my 6-year-old brother. He is cold toward him and gets easily frustrated, even if all my little brother wants to do is sit next to him on the couch. I am starting to get a little concerned about the fact that he cannot even pretend to like children, especially since many of our friends are starting to settle down and eventually, we'll be surrounded by couples with small children. I want him to act accordingly, but I have a feeling he just can't. My parents are starting to pick up on this and have been urging me to date someone else. I am very torn because he is a wonderful person otherwise and I'm totally in love with him. Is this reason enough to end it? If not, what can I do or say to make him change his behavior? — At a Loss Anna

Source

Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: I Adore My Friend, But So Does Everyone Else!

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:00:17 -0800

Dear E. Jean,

I have a friend who's so beautiful that every man who crosses our path wants her. This is not paranoia. It's reality. Even movie stars gawk at her on the street — ugh! More cases in point? My ex casually asked me if she was dating anyone, my current ex joked about a three-way, and a man who's been pursuing me for a year has suddenly shifted his interest to her after he met her at a dinner party.

She's funny, charming, and doesn't dress slutty (we're both casual and conservative). I don't have animosity toward her — I adore her — and I'm sure I'm supposed to learn something from this, but what? I'm not unattractive, but now that I'm newly single, I know that every guy who's interested in me won't be once he meets her. I feel like a walking consolation prize. Why is she so irresistible? And what can I do about it? — The Leftover

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5 Tips For Supporting a Loved One Who Has Been Laid Off

DearSugar — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800

As we all know, times are tough so chances are you have a friend or two that's been laid off. If you're in the same boat, you probably know what helps and what hurts when talking about it, but if you have yet to be affected by job loss, I have a few tips you might want to keep in mind if you have to support a loved one who is newly unemployed. Check them out below and if you have any suggestions you'd like to add, please do so in the comments below — we could all use as much advice on this subject as possible!

First things first: If your friend is in a panic after getting her pink slip, remind her of the five things she needs to take with her from work.
The most important thing to do when supporting someone is to listen. Typically people like to vent their frustration so let her get whatever she needs to off her chest and simply listen.
While it's easy to say things like you understand, unless you're wearing her shoes you probably don't, so try not to rain on her parade and compare your sister's friend's job loss to hers — it's different.

Want to see two more tips? Just

You Asked: Can I Force Matters of the Heart?

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I have been single for two years now and it's starting to take its toll on me. I have had my fair share of guys interested, but it's been my lack of interest in them that's causing me to remain unattached. I have also not been in a serious relationship in a long time; I am totally over all my exes so what's wrong with me? Why don't I give these guys a chance? One of them is the son of a friend of my dad's — I adore him, but don't find him physically attractive yet I enjoy spending time with him because he makes me feel good. I try to convince myself to take it to the next level with him, but I just can't do it! Do you have any advice for me? — Single Sonia

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