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Sunday Confessional: I Hooked Up With My Ex Who Has a Girlfriend

DearSugar — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

My ex-boyfriend and I dated extremely seriously for three years. We broke up around this time last year because we realized that we wanted different things out of life. It was an extremely hard breakup, and I had to move in order to get over him and our relationship. I've since regained my life and am feeling much better about our split. We haven't spoken in months, and I usually do a very good job avoiding him when I come home to visit family and friends. Every year on Thanksgiving, through, my group of friends get together to kind of unwind from a day with the family at our local pub. I went, and my ex was there as well. It was great to see him, but the second we hugged I realized that our connection is still very much there. We chatted alone most of the night, and I found out he has a new girlfriend who was spending the holiday with her family. As the night wore on and the drinks flowed, we slipped back into our old ways and it wasn't long before we walked out of the bar together. Long story short, we spent the night together and it was amazing, but more so because I realized that I just don't love him the way I used to. Part of me is glad this happened between us, but the other part makes me feel like a terrible person because he has a girlfriend, which makes me the other woman. I have never stood for cheating, but something in me just felt like we needed to do this one last time so I could finally move on for good. Can I be forgiven for having sex with my ex-boyfriend even though he has a new girlfriend? Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here to post them anonymously and see if you are forgiven!Source

Sunday Confessional: I Hooked Up With My Ex Who Has a Girlfriend

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Tell Her He's Cheating?

DearSugar — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Stuck in the Middle May need your help. She knows her friend's fiance has cheated on her, but she doesn't know if she should butt in and tell her the truth. It's a complicated situation, but what would you do?

Dear Sugar,

In the past year I have become very close with my boyfriend's friends' girlfriends. They are now great friends of mine who I talk to all the time and hang out with regularly when the guys aren't around. One of the girls has been dating my boyfriend's best friend for about seven years, and they are engaged to be married. The only problem is he has cheated on her many times over the course of their relationship and slept with numerous other women. It's been kind of a "don't ask don't tell" situation, but all the guys are in on it. I'm technically not supposed to know this information, but my boyfriend told me in confidence before she and I became close. I'm actively helping her plan the wedding but I just can't shake the guilt I feel for knowing this and not telling her.

She is a great girl and does not deserve to marry someone who has cheated on her countless times. Supposedly he has stopped, but who really knows for sure? I want her to know what she's getting herself into before she commits to marriage and has her parents spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, but I know the damage I would cause by speaking up. I want to be a loyal friend, but I don't want to stir the pot. Should I tell or not? — Stuck in the Middle May

Source

True Confession — I Love That You Love Me

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:47:43 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."I secretly love the fact that you can't get over me. That's what you get for cheating — you should have known I wouldn't take you back! I know giving you false hope is wrong, but I enjoy the attention, and watching you squirm."Source

True Confession — I Love That You Love Me

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

True Confession — Can I Lie and Tell Her He Has an STI?

DearSugar — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. I know the girl's phone number and email address, so would I be forgiven if I were to tell her he has an STI, even though it's not true? I just want her to feel some sort of consequence, even if it's just until she gets tested."Source

True Confession — Can I Lie and Tell Her He Has an STI?

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

True Confession — I Want Oral Sex!

DearSugar — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession. "Is it wrong to let another man go down on me since my husband refuses to do it? We've been married almost four years and he only tried it once — he said it just wasn't his thing. My best O was when my ex-boyfriend went down on me when I was 18 . . . and I miss it."Source

True Confession — I Want Oral Sex!

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided

True Confession — My Number Went Up in a Week!

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession."Before last week, I'd had sex with two men. Now the number has soared to six. All were well-protected. All were what I would have considered out of my league. Too bad I can't tell anyone, especially my husband."Source

True Confession — My Number Went Up in a Week!

Forgive?

Not forgive?

Undecided — Please share

A Do or a Don't: Supporting a Cheating Friend

DearSugar — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700

In my book, there’s never a good excuse to cheat, but sadly I’ve had friends who’ve cheated, and they’ve always managed to come up with multiple excuses. Even if I can understand their rationale, I still want them to stop. It goes without saying that when I’ve been in the position of supporting a friend who’s cheating, it’s been extremely difficult for me. And yet, I also see it as a time when a friend needs me most, so I can’t just walk away. I support the person, not the action, I suppose. But is that wrong? If a friend is doing something as damaging as cheating, should we turn our backs on them until they turn around? Or should we support them since it’s not our responsibility to judge?

Source

You Asked: Why Am I So Suspicious?

DearSugar — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. For the past two months I have had dreams of catching him cheating on me and it's driving me to snoop on him. I look in his email, his Facebook account, and phone whenever I get a chance. But there's no reason for me to do this; I know he would never cheat on me. Honestly it is the most amazing relationship I could ever ask for. So what's wrong with me? Why do I keep dreaming these horrible things? Am I losing my mind? — Mistrustful Megan

To see DearSugar's answer,

Why Do People Cheat?

DearSugar — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week I came across an article from The Huffington Post examining why men cheat. Referencing a recent Oprah that showcased Dr. M. Gary Neuman and his book, The Truth About Cheating, and citing Neuman's research that cheating isn't always about sex, the article determined that cheating for men is a result of feeling unappreciated at home.

Though my own thoughts on this are still undecided, I couldn't help but think of it yesterday when clips from Peter Cook's interview with Barbara Walters were released. Cook and Brinkley went through a bitter divorce in which Brinkley publicly exposed Cook's affair with an 18-year-old, and it seems as though he's looking to explain himself. According to Us Magazine:

Asked what he wanted out of his marriage, Cook tells Walters, "a little acknowledgment, a little attention, a little thank you every now and then for my efforts . . ."

Cook seems to echo The Huffington Post article and Dr. Neuman's sentiments about lack of appreciation rather than a sexual need being the reason to stray. But I'm not convinced just yet. I also think this argument is problematic since it puts blame on the person who didn't cheat. But I want to hear from all of you. Why do you think people cheat? If you've been cheated on or have cheated on someone else, does the notion of appreciation ring true?

Source

What Is an Absolute Deal-Breaker in a Relationship?

DearSugar — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Maxim magazine's mission was to help its male readers understand us women a little better, and I think it is accomplishing its goal! Asking what chivalrous things you expect a man to do certainly struck a chord with all of you earlier this week, which leads me to believe that you're going to have plenty to say in response to this question, too. So before taking Maxim's survey, I have a question for you to answer right here! As we all know, people make mistakes in their relationships, but some blunders are irreconcilable. So ladies, tell us what you consider absolute deal-breakers when it comes to your relationships.Source

What Is an Absolute Deal-Breaker in a Relationship?

Using online porn.

Flirting with another woman.

Cheating (this includes just kissing another woman).

Lying — about anything.

Other — Please share.