
Giving an
ultimatum is supposed to be a last-ditch effort in trying to change a particular situation. Most of the time this approach is only used in the most desperate times. However, even as a last resort, ultimatums can be very problematic.

My boyfriend of one year currently lives in a three bedroom apartment with two of his guy friends. He's lived there for five years and absolutely loves the place. He's comfortable there, he doesn't have to pay much rent, and it's in an amazing area of the city.

Let's say your man smokes cigarettes and you want him to quit. You've tried talking to him about it, but nothing changes. So you throw him an ultimatum: No sex until he quits.

According to a
previous poll, 51 percent of you said you'd never give a marriage ultimatum, but 31 percent of you said you would. The thing with ultimatums is, you have to be willing to put it all on the line and accept the outcome if the other person doesn't oblige. Sure, a lot of times they light a fire under someone, but other times, they send people running.
Ultimatums, they can either destroy a relationship or give the man a much needed push in the right direction. We've all heard the saying, s**t or get off the pot, but sometimes, when you're in the relationship, it's easy to get a little too comfortable and fear taking the next step.
I know two couples whose engagement came to be because of an ultimatum, and on the flip side, I know other couples who have been together for years and years with no engagement in sight because one refuses to put the other on the spot.

DearSugar --
I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and living together for 2 1/2 years. Every time I talk about marriage with him he blows me off. I have a 7 year old daughter and she realizes that we are living together and we are not married.