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A Do or a Don't: Withholding Sex as Punishment

DearSugar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Sex is a powerful tool. It's an act that you have the right to exercise when you see fit. When you're in a relationship, though, sex becomes a special bond that connects you with your partner. Since relationships aren't always wine and roses, it's not uncommon for people to withhold sex as a form of punishment during an argument, but doesn't that create a power struggle in an otherwise healthy relationship? What do you all think: Is withholding sex as a form of punishment a do or a don't?Source

A Do or a Don't: Withholding Sex as Punishment

A do

A don't

You Asked: He Hasn't Called — What Gives?

DearSugar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I met a cute boy at a law school function on Saturday night and after a few cocktails and dances, we ended up at a bar, just the two of us, and kissing ensued. It was lovely and he offered to walk me back to my apartment. (I insisted it wasn't necessary seeing as how we live on opposite sides of Manhattan, but the boy could not be dissuaded!) Though he never made it beyond my apartment doorway, we exchanged the cutesy "let's do this again soon" texts after he left. So now, it's Monday, and he has yet to contact me again. What gives? — Surprised Sascha

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Ask a Bad Boy: Why Do Taken Men Still Flirt With Single Women?

DearSugar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Dear Steve,

I can't tell you how many times I've been out some place — like a bar or a restaurant — and I'll find out the guy that's been flirting with me and my girls is either married or in a relationship, what's up with that? Why do they even bother if they can't "swing through the ball" — so to speak? I feel like I need to preface every conversation I have with a man with "wait, do you have a girlfriend?" — Perplexed Penelope

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Tell Her He's Cheating?

DearSugar — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Stuck in the Middle May need your help. She knows her friend's fiance has cheated on her, but she doesn't know if she should butt in and tell her the truth. It's a complicated situation, but what would you do?

Dear Sugar,

In the past year I have become very close with my boyfriend's friends' girlfriends. They are now great friends of mine who I talk to all the time and hang out with regularly when the guys aren't around. One of the girls has been dating my boyfriend's best friend for about seven years, and they are engaged to be married. The only problem is he has cheated on her many times over the course of their relationship and slept with numerous other women. It's been kind of a "don't ask don't tell" situation, but all the guys are in on it. I'm technically not supposed to know this information, but my boyfriend told me in confidence before she and I became close. I'm actively helping her plan the wedding but I just can't shake the guilt I feel for knowing this and not telling her.

She is a great girl and does not deserve to marry someone who has cheated on her countless times. Supposedly he has stopped, but who really knows for sure? I want her to know what she's getting herself into before she commits to marriage and has her parents spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, but I know the damage I would cause by speaking up. I want to be a loyal friend, but I don't want to stir the pot. Should I tell or not? — Stuck in the Middle May

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You Asked: Does He Just Want a Friendship?

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I met this guy in college and developed a major crush on him, but nothing ever happened. After graduating we kept in contact via email, then after a couple months, we met for coffee. We got to talking and he told me that he's been attracted to me for some time now, but informed me that he was in a relationship with someone else. He said he needed to figure things out on his end before getting me involved. I let him know that I too am attracted to him, and that I still wanted to maintain our friendship.

He emailed me about a week later and suggested we meet up again — I agreed. This time we went to a cafe in the evening and talked for several hours. I know he is with another girl so I wanted to be respectful, but the whole time we were together I was thinking about how much I like him. When we left the cafe, he told me he wanted to do it again sometime, but what does all this mean? Does he just want to be friends? Is he keeping me around just in case he and his girlfriend break up? Am I setting myself up? Please help! — Unclear Claire

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5 Things to Be Grateful For When You're in a Relationship

DearSugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Yesterday I gave you five things to be thankful for if you're single this Thanksgiving, but there are plenty of things to be thankful for if you're in a relationship too. If you need a reminder, check out my list below:

You always have a “wingman” at family gatherings.
You have someone to share your second piece of pecan pie with.
You have someone to recap the night with.
You have two families to celebrate the holiday with.
You don't have to feel like the third wheel when you're with your coupled-up relatives.

What about being in a relationship are you thankful for this year?

Source

Relationship Protocol: How Do You Keep the Romance Alive When You're Not Getting It On?

DearSugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Over the weekend I asked you all to tell me how important sex is in your relationship, and I was surprised to see that it's an infrequent act for many of you. Sure, once the honeymoon period subsides, it's normal for that initial lust to die down, but if you're not connecting physically, there must be other ways you stay in tune with one another. So ladies, tell me, how do you keep the fire, passion, and intimacy alive in your relationship when you're not getting it on?

Source

Do Tell: Do You Like Your Partner's Orgasm Face?

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800

It might not be our best look, but we all have one: an orgasm face! Even if you've never seen your own, chances are you've seen your partner's — that unique mixture of deep concentration, relaxation, and release. But like I said, it's not always pretty, which could pose a problem while you're in the act of love-making. Since this is all anonymous, do tell ladies, are you a fan of your partner's orgasm face? If not, tell us why, I'm curious and I bet everyone else is too!

Source

You Asked: Is It Normal That He Kept Pictures of His Ex?

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was devastated. We were head over heels for each other but things just weren't working out so we ended it. At one point when I was trying to get over him, I threw away all the pictures I had of him and us, all the CDs he made me, and anything that reminded me of him. I've completely moved on and I'm actually married to someone else, but I recently found pictures of my husband's ex-girlfriend in a desk drawer. I know that everyone moves on from past relationships differently, but is it normal that he still has photos of this girl years later? I understand that she was an important person in his life, but why does he need reminders of her now that he's happily married to me? — A Little Annoyed Amber

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Do Tell: How Important Is Sex to You in a Relationship?

DearSugar — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

When in a relationship, some people adore sex. They think about it often, have it a lot, and are into trying new toys, positions, and places to make it better. Then there are other people in relationships who aren't that interested in getting it on. They rarely crave that kind of intimacy, and could have sex once a month (or less) and feel completely satisfied. So where do you fall in the spectrum? Is sex really important to you when you're in a relationship, or are there other ways you two prefer to celebrate your connection?

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