In the world of friendships, it's impossible to get along all the time. When conflict inevitably arises, it can sometimes be easier to run the other direction than deal with it head on. Of course, we all know that communicating is the better option, but when you're afraid of confrontation that can be easier said than done.
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If computers are the new way to meet people, then texting is the new flirting. Now, instead of sending flowers, guys can just send a text. And instead of calling you between dates to check in, all they have to do is send a teaser via mobile.
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Dear Sugar,
My husband and I have been married for six years and have been together for 10. About three months ago I found out that he had an affair about two years ago. I forgave him, and we have been working together to move past it.
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As we make it through the personal successes, failures, and traumas of life, it’s inevitable that we pick up some sore spots along the way that when poked or nudged, can release a torrent of feelings. And just as we develop them on our own, it’s common for touchy subjects to arise as we encounter normal relationship issues. It could be something that consistently creates an argument or something that makes one person extremely uncomfortable, whatever it is, it always involves a lot of emotion.
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Even though I’m constantly going on and on about the importance of communication, I’ll be the first to admit that communicating well is a very difficult thing to master — there’s a reason why we often refer to miscommunication. Sometimes it’s all too easy for lines to get crossed, and before you know it what you said was not at all what you meant. Since I’m sure this is a common problem, I’ve come up with a few tips so you can finally start saying what you mean.
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If a relationship lasts long enough, it's natural for thoughts about the long-term future to arise. And figuring out if you and your significant other are on the same wavelength can help you determine whether or not your relationship should continue.
But while considering the future is common, and often important, there's still something inherently scary and exciting when having a talk about marriage for the first time.
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Dear Sugar,
I'm usually OK with porn. I watch it myself and have watched it with former boyfriends however, my current boyfriend has always refused to let me watch his porn with him, and recently I learned why. The porn he watches is full of incredibly disturbing sado-masochistic porn, which I had no idea he was even slightly into.
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Dear Sugar,
Recently I read the post about communicating with friends if a problem arises, and it got me thinking about my own situation. Right now I am torn as to whether or not I should confront my best friend from childhood. We've always been very close and open with one another, but as we are getting older, I have noticed some changes.
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When it comes to dating, I think it's fair to say we all follow our own quirky rules, but the three-day rule seems to be universal. I hear scenarios like this all the time: girl meets guy, guys wait a few days to call, but when he does, she sends him to voicemail and purposely waits another few days to call him back. Since many women complain that the guy took too long to call in the first place, why do we do the same thing right back.
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Whenever a problem should arise in a relationship, communication is nearly always the best method to finding the solution, but is that true for friendships as well. Friendships aren’t meant to be a challenge, so it seems almost counterintuitive to assume that there will be issues you have to work through, but as we all know, stuff does come up even between the best of friends. So when it does, do you just take the hands-off approach and let things work out (or not) naturally.
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