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Good Idea or Bad Idea: Friends Dating Friends

Tue, 01/22/2008 - 9:00am by DearSugar
1,075 Views - 31 comments

When you spend a lot of time with your best friend and her boyfriend it's inevitable that you find yourself spending time with his friends, too. Sure it is nice for everyone to get along, but what happens when your friends start to date each other? Is that a recipe for disaster if things don't work out? Staying neutral is easier said than done and even though celebrities make it look easy, do you think friends dating friends is a good idea or a bad idea?

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31 Comments Add a Comment

  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    1

    I dont see anything wrong with it. If the two parties like eachother, then why not?

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Lambsauce's picture
    Lambsauce
    2

    I don't know. Perhaps I'm just young and naive, but if it doesn't work out between them, it could tear apart friendships and groups.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • herjoiedevivre's picture
    herjoiedevivre
    3

    um, I have one friend that has dated several guys or "almost dated" several guys in my group. two years ago she dated one of my good friends and broke things off with him very immaturely- she didn't explain her feelings, or why she was blowing him off, or anything like that. I got stuck in the middle, and was very angry at her. it was a horrible situation.

    however, that was 2 years ago, and today she is about to start dating another very close friend. She's a lot more mature, open and communicative with this guy, so hopefully it lasts. if it doesn't, I'm staying out of the awkward leftover entrails of whatever explodes! lol

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    4

    I dunno...
    I have never ever touched one of my guy friends...
    But I know other girls who have and it turned out alright...

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • erratic-assassin's picture
    erratic-assassin
    5

    my fiance's friend and one of our other friend started to date and it is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE!! It's just too weird. The fact that they were getting close and all, it was inevitable. But I just dont...bleh! i dont like it. They're like brother & sister to me and it doesn't look right, lol. I KNOW! I'm horrible. they come over to our place and all they wanna do is makeout and it's sick! i dont wanna see that!

    then all 4 of us went to snowboard this weekend and we shared a room for a night and when i woke up, holy cow! they both came out of the shower like it aint no thing! What the FUGGG man?? lol

    no no no, it's gross. but as long as they're happy, why should they give 2 squirts of piss about what I THINK? lol

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • laneylaney's picture
    laneylaney
    6

    sorry, totally unrelated. why does that red dress look like it's drawn on or super-imposed on katie every time i see a picture of it?

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • SummerBaby's picture
    SummerBaby
    9

    i have done this before, and it worked out ok, i guess it all depends on how well the relationship went

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Greggie's picture
    Greggie
    10

    Depends on the people. No right, no wrong. I've done it and never had a problem maintaining the friendships later.

    And I agree about Katie's dress, it looks like it was colored with the Paint program.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • rpenner's picture
    rpenner
    11

    My entire group of friends, and I mean every single one of the group of 16 that I hang out with on a regular basis, started out as just a group of singles and now everyone is dating someone else in the group. We have 2 single guys left. Not enough girls to go around. lol Now this didn't happen all at once. It was gradual with the last couple getting together just over a year ago. The first couple getting together about 4 years ago. So far so good. Everyone is committed. All couples now live together and one couple is engaged. I think it's fantastic. We all have a really good time together. But I do think things would definitely go bad if a couple broke up. Fortunately enough, everyone is committed to their relationships and everyone sees their relationships lasting.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • workin9to5's picture
    workin9to5
    12

    Avoid it if at all possible. These friends will know each other as long as they know both of you, so that probably means the rest of your lives. Bad news when they break up.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • clareberrys's picture
    clareberrys
    13

    AH NO! I did this once and everyone knew our business and was always talking about it and I hated it. Then we broke it off and people were taking sides. NOT GOOD

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • bbkf's picture
    bbkf
    14

    It's never worked out well for me. One couple broke up the day before my wedding and they were both in the wedding party. The spent the whole day b!tching about each other, not to mention we still can't invite both of them to parties because it's so uncomfortable.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • lily8206's picture
    lily8206
    15

    I don't see anything wrong with it.
    I think some of the best relationships come from friends introducing friends that they think would be a good match.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • bingkaycoy's picture
    bingkaycoy
    16

    There's nothing wrong but it just doesn't look good and feel good. It's okey if a friend dates another friend--for example a girl-friend dating a guy-friend. But it doesn't look good, when they break up, and start dating again and one of them dates another friend in the group---just like what';s happening in the show "Friends".

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Greggie's picture
    Greggie
    17

    To me, it's no different than becoming friends with people once I start dating their friend, and then they break up.

    For instance, the "breaking up the day before our wedding" scenario. That happened to us, but it wasn't because we were all friends dating friends. It was because after I met my husband, I became friends with a lot of his friends' girlfriends. I ended up asking one to be in my wedding.

    They handled it very well, though. No discomfort over their break-up impacted our wedding day.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • 1QTPIE's picture
    1QTPIE
    18

    nope it's not all that. One minute your with one friend and the next your with another. Then your sitting there and your ex is looking at your new guy like "I had that, yup." NO I've seen this to many times with my old friends.... Not a good idea to date friends.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • gab6784's picture
    gab6784
    19

    I don't see anything wrong with this as long as everyone gets along and as long as both parties get their share of alone time.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • CelestiaLuv's picture
    CelestiaLuv
    20

    I voted bad idea, I know how my friends are (especially the guys), and its basically a setup for unneeded drama.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • pklotus's picture
    pklotus
    21

    Dating the guy's friend could is a double edge sword situation. I mean every girl would love to date their best friend's boyfriend's friend. It's like getting the best of both worlds. But when things don't work out it's a tad bit awkward...for everyone. Take it from someone who's been there done that, not the best idea. And if you do decide to do so keep it very casual and innocent.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • RockAndRepublic's picture
    RockAndRepublic
    22

    Errrr, no. Wouldn't touch that if my life depended on it. Sometimes you can't just go back to the way things were.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • emalove's picture
    emalove
    23

    My husband and I met at our mutual friends' wedding...the four of us hang out all the time now and we're so close.

    In the past I've been set up with friends of friends and it never transpired into much...but I've never had any bad experiences with it.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • ninjastarlett's picture
    ninjastarlett
    24

    I'm dating my friend from a certain group of friends... it was a little awkward at first and took some getting used to but now we can all hang out in a group again. I guess it would pretty awkward for the group if things don't work out but here's to hoping it does.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • jmeyer's picture
    jmeyer
    25

    This definitely depends on the situation. One of the best relationships I have had was with my ex-boyfriend's best friend. My ex-boyfriend and I only dated a few months, but I loved hanging out with all his friends. After we broke up we all remained friends (I even set up my ex with one of my friends). A few months after my ex and I broke up I started having feelings for his best friend. After a night out at the bar, and a very PG-13 hook up, we both admitted that we were attracted to one another.
    With my ex's permission we started dating. We were mature enough to handle it and thought that we would always regret not giving it a shot. We spent nearly 2 years together. I think the fact that we were friends first (and had friends in common) made our relationship work that much better.
    We ended up splitting due to the fact that I was moving to a new city for work. Our breakup was mutual. We live in the same city again, and hang out all the time. We both are in new relationships and are happy.
    I think it depends on the people. If you are inclined to live a drama filled life, than it is probably best to date outside of your friend circle. I have friends who have tried it and it ended horribly. But I also think that if two people are attracted to one another they should give it a shot. I would hate to be living with that kind of regret.

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • lilwildone1202's picture
    lilwildone1202
    26

    meh ive had bad experiences with it in the past but i wouldnt rule it out again. sometimes people dont really mesh as well as you'd think they would...

    43 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • nnelson84's picture
    nnelson84
    28

    It's a formula for trouble, no matter what the circumstances are. In fact, one of my best guy friends and I just made a pact to never date each other's friend. He recently broke up with one of my best girl friends and what entailed after wasn't pretty. During their relationship, I steered clear of them both simply b/c at times I almost felt like a middle man and I wasn't about to play that lose/lose game. After they broke up and broke up they did, there was this "awkward" cloud hanging over all of our heads so much that even our mutual friends felt that they had to choose either one or the other (but never both) to attend parties they were planning. All in all, it's just not a good idea b/c all parties experience "the breakup".

    43 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • fashion_addict's picture
    fashion_addict
    29

    This post could not have come at a better time! I am having this dilema right now. My best friend's bf's roomate (confusing, i know) and I hooked up twice and we're still cool and nobody seems to care. This past weekend I met another one of my best friend's boy's friend and even though i wasnt into him, he asked me out. Now Im in a dilema...i don't want the boys to think im trying to date all of them! As this is all happening, I've started to date this new guy who's not in the group....

    what should I do?

    43 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    30

    My best guy friend and my best girl friend got together and it was a disaster. He would tell my husband his side of the story and she'd tell me her's and my husband and I would swap stories and of course tell the other person. It was a huge mess. Maybe if we didn't all live together it would have been fine. In the future I'd like to see them together but I'd never put myself in the middle like that again.

    43 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    31

    it's cool if you all met as a couple on both ends. the girls hang with the girls, guys with guys.

    but it sucks of you were friends with one side first, and then you divorce; like how courtney cox and david arquette were friends with Jennifer aniston first, and then cool with brad. then they get divorced and she's publicly embarrassed, but david is cool with Brad still . . .that sucks.

    43 weeks 3 hours ago Report Comment

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