I would probably find it hard to NOT say something right then and there...

Wow, that is a tough one. I think the best thing to do would be to walk in and tell them that you didn't hear the whole conversation, but it sounded like they had been talking about your flakiness to show up to events. This would allow you to talk about the fact that although you have been busy, you are now trying to make time with them. Apologize for flakiness, but also tell them you need them to cut you some slack because you have had a lot going on lately.

Of course, I probably won't be able to do that and I'd walk in pretending I didn't hear anything.

I'd probably walk in quietly and say "Yeah I know eh! What a b*tch! Whats up girls? haha" and watch their faces turn red... and before giving them a chance to explain, I'd apologize for being a flake and explain my reasons for being MIA and promise to make more of an effort... and then wait for a response...and an apology

I would confront them. I dont think its that big of a deal if your friends are talking about you. (depending on how bad it is) Ive overheard my friends talking about me before, and while it still hurts, its just something women do. Id say just have a conversation with them to clear the air. Unless they are being downright nasty, its probably not a big deal and people need to vent sometimes and its foolish to think that you NEVER get on your friends' nerves.

I've lost some friends because of their lack of asking me wha was wrong. I believe that some women need to realize that there's this 50/50 thing with friendships. If I ask you what's wrong, I should recieve the same treatment right?

You can't give and give and never recieve a thing back. That's more of being an associate. In this situation I would of told them off, but in a nice toned voice. So they won't get b*tchy back.

I'd probably walk in and kill them all with kindness and talk about how bad I feel for being so busy. I generally don't like having to confront a whole group of people in a situation like that, so I'd try to make the best of it, then when I was alone with each friend I'd talk to them about it and try to make them understand it really isn't my fault.
But I have lost friends for things like this. Some people just don't understand why you can't drop everything to do what they want when they want. I was supposed to supply a snack to a group event once, and my great grandfather suddenly passed away. So, understandably I thought, I forgot about everything else for a while. I explained it to everyone at a later date, but one girl couldn't understand why I couldn't have brought something and just left.

I would go in there and be like 'Oh hiiii! Looks like I made it just in time....'

I would definitely march right in and say something to let them know I overheard them. But, I'd do it in a joking manner and then change the topic. They'll feel like crap without having a full blown argument about it.

I would make a joke about it so they knew I heard, but having a blow-up isn't going to help anything- I would just look worse.

I would wait a few seconds (like, 30, so the b*tch session is over), then call out "Hi girls!" and go in and say how I'm so happy I could come today, as I've been so busy, and I feel badly about neglecting my friends. And then if there's something we want to talk about, we can - no reason to be confrontational when I know they're right about my flaky-ness.

I'd love to say I'd say something to them, but I'm so non-confrontational that I'd probably just walk in quietly and sit down and at like I didn't hear anything.

I might bring it up one-on-one with one of them later - at another time, so I wouldn't ruin the whole evening with my own complaining.

I know it's not the best way to handle it, but my terrible chronic social anxiety won't allow me to handle things any other way.

I would probably walk in and make a wise comment, but laughingly and then just smile and change the subject. Everyone is human and friends or not friends, someone is always going to have something negative to say about something you do.........I personally just expect it and accept it (to a certain degree that is). I would hope it would be for a damn good reason and nothing TOO harsh, but I don't feel I need to explain anything to anyone. If they are really good friends of mine, they would already have gotten an explanation and I would expect them to be understanding. But if not, let them talk ish. I'll still love you tomorrow.

If they are not supportive and understanding...they're not my friends...I would sit through it to check their response or 'fakeness'...depending on that...I would drop them as friends or not...life is too stressfull to care about b*tches that don't appreciate you or care about the hardships of your life...especially with my wedding coming up and me having family issues...

I would definitely say something. If your friends as b*tching about you then they aren't really your friends. I would confront them and then move on if necessary.

what would I do? Walk straight in there and say 'you know, as friends, we should all congratulate each other on success, be glad that we found happiness and be understanding of each other with our busy lives, and you guys can't seem to give me that respect.. you are not true friends at all' and walk the F out! Jealous girls!

I'd probably wait a few and then make a noisy entrance so they could hear me coming. Then say something like "It's so good to see you girls! I've missed you while my life has been crazy." and move on. It's not like I've never been frustrated about a friend and griped to another friend. Unless they were saying really unfair and cruel things about me, I'd just try to get over it.

I am not a big fan of flakes in general so I would have called you out on it a long time ago. While friends should be understanding when your life gets crazy bailing on them for the last 2 months does not make you a great friend either. Speak up and talk to them about it.

I would have to say something. They would know by looking by my demeanor anyway. I have a hard time keeping a poker face.

I agree with almostfamous, friendships are 50/50. I would have said something like "Are you guys finished talking about me or do you need a few more minutes?", in a non-b*tchy way. Then, let the cards fall where they may.

I WOULD LEAVE AND STOP TALKING TO ALL THOSE wh*reS

I'd have to speak up. If they've been around for the last few months, they'd know how busy you are, and if they're any sort of decent friend they would understand instead of holding a b*tchfest. And they must really not be smart to be doing it while they know you're supposed to show up.

pfff i would definitely go in there and make them feel terrible for being so mean...life happens and friends are supposed to be supportive and understanding, and if i wasnt a trophy friend they can talk to ME about it, not talk about me.
and then i'd leave and know who my friends are.

Confront them. I don't take that kind of sh*t from people who are supposed to be my friends.

Honestly, I think I'd probably be so hurt that I'd burst into tears. My friends and I have known each other almost our whole lives, so to hear them talk bad and angrily about me would really be hard for me to take.

I think I would say something, but I'm not sure how or what...

Haha this happened to me! Best friends talking complete sh*t behind my back.
So I told them I found out, then had nothing to do with their immmature backstabbing. I don't need "friends" like that around

This has happened to me in the past. I confronted HER, and we had it out. Right after that I told her that if she wants to be like that I won't be here anymore.

That was the end of that!

I would walk in and say "Sorry I'm late. I know, I know. I've been a busy b*tch lately." And, then allow them to guess all night whether you heard their anti-you gab fest or not.

To think that "that's just something women do", is rather disheartening, and just reaffirms my reasons for not having many female friends. With friends who talk sh*t about you behind your back, who needs enemies?

I would say nothing. I would socialize for a few minutes, and leave. I would drop them as friends. They won't be receiving invitations to my wedding.

Talking badly behind my back is a deal-breaker for me. It breaks trust, and it's disrespectful.

I would have preferred it if they (or someone) would have approached me to discuss my flakiness in a constructive way. I would have been opened to modifying my behavior, and even apologize. That's mature. That's how adults manage friendships. Talking crap about me among themselves is junior high school. As an adult, I only extend my frienships to other adults, not children.

No kidding. Backstabbing is so 'high school'. Sorry, but I have no time for immaturity. I'll find better educated friends in my league.

i didn't tolerate this in high school and i won't as a grown-a*s woman!

i would walk in and say,

"hey girls. i know i've been too busy to be available to talk about your cheating-bastard boyfriend that you break up with 3 times a week.

or that i have been too busy with work to go out clubbin' and get stupid drunk with you. Trust me, i feel bad.

but i've been busy making sure i have a roof over my head and securing my Prince Charming so i won't have to continue to face my 20s or for that matter 30s scouring the club scene looking for a guy who actually wants to use the title boyfriend after i slept with him too soon.

i made a really huge effort to make it here tonight, despite the fact that i have a VERY early morning and i live and hour away. so it just pisses me off to walk in a room full of my "friends" talking crap about me like this is High School Musical: The Remix.

so here's your bottle of Merlot that i brought for us to drink like ladies . ..you know, grown ones, who understand when everyone grows up and has a LIFE, and i don't mean the one on Myspace.

and i really like to thank you for doing me a favor; i just saved a bunch of money on the catering cost by cutting you guys off the guest list.

my wedding is for adults-only. Ciao!"

and walked right out in my 4-inch pumps. B*tches!

b*tches! i'd probably say something that one if them had repeated to me about another of them and then say "please continue!" and leave. then find some real friends that don't talk sh*t about a person having difficulties. honestly, does this happen to grown-ups?

"Yeah I know eh! What a b*tch! Whats up girls? haha"

I agree with this and would append, "please dont stop on account of me".

haha Asia

Yea I would confront them cause thats how I am. I have to admit that I recently did that one of my friends (but I didnt get caught), I do plan on talking to her about her attitude. She's been flaky lately and I wanna wants going on.

I would walk in and say something like "and to think I took a night off from planning my wedding to come see you w*****, some kind of friends...." then walk out.

Another thing why is it that the friends aren't helping with the wedding?

This happened to a good friend of mine, who was going through problems but couldn't tell our group of friends and everyone accused her of being flaky. I called them out on it and lost them as friends but she was worth it and I'd do it again in an instant.

I believe in pursuing relationships with only people who have an honest character. Although gossiping about something as little as this seems like not that big of a deal, it shows that they care more for themselves and their situations than for you or your situations. If they genuinely cared for you, they would be saying things like "Wow, she must be having such a hard time with so many things to do. Maybe we should offer to help her out every now and then..." instead of whining about how you're a flake. When harder times come around, they will not be looking out for you-trust me. Get them out of your life and try to find some new friends who really will watch out for you. There are lots of good people out there who deserve your trust. To give people who are fake your trust is to cheat yourself out of the honest and happy life that you deserve. They are nothing but bad news-find some real friends.