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Women's Common Complaint: I Have Too Much on My Mind to Have Sex

Wed, 12/12/2007 - 9:00am by DearSugar
4,896 Views - 12 comments

I'm sure most of you keep busy with either a full time job, a family, or school. Since these roles take up most of your time, I'm sure your brain is constantly working overtime trying to keep everything straight.

Putting all that aside, we also have our own desires, hopes and questions to think about. To be honest, it can be quite overwhelming to have all this on our minds. Not only can it affect your job and your energy level, but it can also affect your sex life. Getting it on can feel like the last thing on earth you want to do when your mind is clogged with so many other thoughts.

Want to hear some ways to clear your head so you can make room for lovemaking? Then read more

  • Get your problems, thoughts, and concerns off your mind by talking to a trusted friend or relative.
  • Write in your journal or make a list of what's upsetting you, what you're thinking about, or what you need to get done. Seeing it on paper is a great way to release it from your mind.
  • Do some yoga or meditate at the end of your day. Concentrating on your breath and being quiet are great ways to encourage your mind to become clear and calm for intimacy.
  • Have sex anyway. Sometimes all you need is a little jump start and after a few minutes, you'll get in the mood and forget about what was bothering you.

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12 Comments Add a Comment

  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    1

    Having sex usually helps me clear my mind and think reasonbly! I usualyl feel refreshed after and then I can attack all those "things" on my mind Smiling

    38 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • erratic-assassin's picture
    erratic-assassin
    2

    I would HATE to have this problem.

    can't give advice, just thought it was unfortunate that people feel this way.

    38 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • bettyboutique's picture
    bettyboutique
    3

    uhhhh am i not normal?? i never have too much on my mind to have sex... lol and i agree with ashwebb it makes everything seem so clear after and u just forget everything hehe

    38 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • AujahAcorn's picture
    AujahAcorn
    4

    i have this problem right now (christmas time)!!!!!!! you sugars are lucky that this post is bafelling to you. i am a thinker and an over thinker and then i think some more. Dear sugar has some good advise that does work for me. but sometimes i just tell my boyfriend i will take care of him and i will let him know when i am ready.

    ps sometime when i am just taking care of him.... i get in the mood.

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • ur_momm's picture
    ur_momm
    6

    yeah im totally like this...
    its so annoying, i think about everything, then i start thinking about what about whats happening at that moment and thinking about other times we had sex and comparing and then im just like ok can we get this over with so that i can go on with my day and you wont be grumpy.
    I dont know how to solve this. i talk to people about my conserns or problems all the time so i know that wont help.
    Hell, sometimes i considering having a glass of wine or 2 just so i can get in the mood. Ok maybe i'm an extreme case.
    it's just frustrating and tiring and leads to more stressing Smiling
    wow i guess i just cant win.

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • ella1978's picture
    ella1978
    7

    I'm sort of like this too.
    I have a really busy life right now, and not just because it's the holidays... I have work, exams, taking care of a house & a boyfriend who lives with me. I find myself thinking about all the things I'm not doing, like I need to wash my car before it gets to cold, or the kitchen floor needs to be washed, don't forget about the laundry, or that you need to run to the pharmacy.

    I am an eternal list maker & all I do is think all day long. I over think conversations, I replay stuff in my head of things that have already happened. It's bad.

    So unless I anticipate sex, and prepare my mind to be ready for it.. something throws me off.

    I'm sure when things settle down, my mind won't be as busy.. but women think about things a lot more than men do. They are preping themselves for sex all day long!

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • 1QTPIE's picture
    1QTPIE
    8

    I don't think I can ever get like this. SEX is the best stress reliever for me...;P I can get home and have a crazy house.... like Ahhh. and a "quickie" will get me up and running.

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • pinktulips's picture
    pinktulips
    10

    oh my...I go to school full time, and work at a busy doctors office...but I still always want sex...I want it more than my boyfriend...I dont have this problem lol

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • nikodarling's picture
    nikodarling
    11

    I think its a great stress reliever. Just Do It. You'll probably feel a lot better afterwards.

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Cher's picture
    Cher
    12

    I used to never have this problem... damn anti-depressants have killed my sex drive! Sad

    38 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment

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