I don't think there is an arbitrary age difference that would matter to me. I'd base incompatibility on a hell of a lot more than just age.

ew lance is creepy and fug

Agreed. I'm dating someone who is 11 years older than me. Before it happened I used to think dating someone 5 years older than me was a bit much. Now it's more about being on the same level with maturity, compatibility, values, etc. Age really is merely a number. When it's right, it's right.

they loook really weird together in the pictures.
it is hard to say, cos we are not in their position. who is to decide the gap is too much??

i guess it is cos we have seen the olsen twins grow up from little girls and therefore hard to believe they are dating men much older than they are. it is like they will forever remain as the rich and little pair of twins who used to be from their series of self-titled story books - when they were .... 10??

I'd say over twenty is too much...actally over 15.
My grandparents were 15 years apart, and my boyfriend's parents are 16 years apart!!!

You can't help who you fall in love with...

My husband is 22 years older.
I adore him.
I'm so lucky to have him.
I've never been happier!
We have been together 8 years, married 4 on January 1st.

I think some age differences freak me out like this one actress, her boyfriend is like 30 years younger than her. That's a bit much.

what ashcwebb said ^

although, ashley and lance are a random pairing..whatever.. its their lives.

You CAN help who you fall in love with guys! Its called reasoning!!! Its what makes us different from animals!!

And to answer the question, I think it depends on what ages we're talking about. If one person is 17 and one is 29, then yes, too big of a difference. If one person is 31 and the other is 43, then who cares? The older the two people are the less it matters.

see im on the fence about this. my parents are 11 years apart and happily married. but i don't think i could date a guy who was more than 5 years older than me... or even 5 years younger. the oldest ive ever dated was 6 years older, but he acted my age if not younger so it wasn't really a 6 year difference

Its not about how many years, its WHEN. There is a big difference between 17 dating 35, and 35 dating 53.
I have a very close relationship with my fiance - 8 years younger than me - and while there are some challenges with life experience and expectations, in the end its about the people you are and how much love and respect is in the relationship. With these two celebrities...I am really not sure how much of a deep connection there really needs to be. They are in a different world. There is also the double standard out there...for some reason younger women can work with much older men, the father figure thing, but younger men don't work all the time with older women. Maybe we are less tolerant of the issues/weakness.

"Reason" doesn't come into falling in love.

You can control how you handle falling in love, and if you do anything with it. But that doesn't mean you can reason yourself in or out of love itself.

Chemistry and love between people have no age boundaries. My fiance is 8 years older than me, my Dad was 8 years older than my Mom, my sister's husband is 14 years older than her........we all just felt lucky to have this amazing person walk into our lives. That's all that really matters.

I doubt she is like other 21 year olds...

I think it depends on what stage in life the two people are at. If one is 20 and the other 30 I have to think their might be some issues there. When you're in your early 20's vs 30's I think there's a good chance your lifestyles are very different...

But who knows about Hollywood.

I've seen it happen to my sister and friends and it doesn't always pan out.

It did seem a little creepy, but I guess she's permanently 12 in my eyes! I think it really depends on the relationship, the individuals themselves, and what they want from the relationship. Ashley seems pretty levelheaded, so more power to her.

My fiance is 13 years older than me, and it really doesn't come up or even bother us (I'm 27, he just turned 40). I guess I'm mature enough for him, and he's immature enough for me! We're going on 8 years together, so I really can't complain.

I couldn't date a younger guy. My last relationship, my ex was almost 10 years older than me. We got along fine but he was way too experienced(not in a good way) for me. Personally, I wouldn't do it again. I don't think I could go beyond 5 years older than me, but really my comfort level would be more around 3 years older.

I don't think that any age gap is too big. There is so much more to love than age, there is maturity level to factor in as well. Plus, I just think older men are much more sexy.

I don't think any age difference. I'm 23 and I wouldn't shy away from dating a 43 year old (if he was good looking and well-off financially). But I think the J. Howard Marshall-Anne Nicole thing was ridiculous. So maybe 30 years is too much?

If you're in love and happy, then it doesn't necessarily matter.

However, I do think that there are practical reasons for me not to get involved with someone 20+ years older than me. Not to be morbid, but I wouldn't want to be widowed at an early age, and I would want my children to have their father around well into adulthood if possible.

Obviously if you weigh all those factors and you think it's worth it, then by all means.

My BF is 7 years older and it works well for us.

I personally believe that a lot of these 'big gap' relationships don't work because in life, you are constantly changing. You want to be on the same page with your partner but you can't because they're 10 years older/younger/whatever! But who's to say that 2 people couldn't be on the same page at different ages? No one's business! I hate how we all judge.

20 years or more. Maybe it's ok when one is 40 and the other 20, but when one hits 70 and the other one is still a fit 50-year-old, I think it won't be easy.
And Lance and Ashley make a fugly couple. She looks 16 and he looks 45. I don't dig the pedo-look

"You can control how you handle falling in love, and if you do anything with it."

I believe this is a great example of deductive reasoning....Therefore reinstating my point that we ALL use reasoning when falling in love. Just some of us more than others....like 36 year old men who 'fall in love' with 21 year olds.

I voted other. Though I don't think there is a "rule" that should never be broken and applies to everyone... my personal rule is if the age difference is enough for one to be a parent of the other (so around 14 or more years difference) then it's a no no.

There are just soooo many things that can come up once the difference is that large. Some people may decide all those issues are worth dealing with for the right person, but I don't even want to be in that situation.

I think this relationship is creepy because I still think of her as being about 7 years old...

I think dating someone 15 years older than you is fine. I wouldn't do it. It just doesn't fit who I am. My boyfriend is 4 years older than me and I still call him my old man. My parents are 15 years apart in age, but my mother met my father when she was 26. I think dating someone older is fine when after the age of 25. -shrug-

It really is hard to say. I would think that it's all about where the two people are in their lives. My fiance is 7 years younger than I am and our relationship is the best and healthiest I have ever been in. Of course this isn't about me so...Ashley and Lance seem a little weird. I keep thinking of his kids! I would think that would throw things into a completely different arena. That being said, maybe they're just having fun and not ready to fall in love and walk down the aisle....

It's not the age difference in and of itself that matters, but things that usually go along with being older--independence, higher income, experience, etc.--can sometimes lead to a skewed power dynamic in a relationship. What do all these relationships have in common: a 14-year-old with an 18-year-old, an 18-year-old with a 30-year-old, a 30-year-old with an 80-year-old? In all of these cases, somebody is probably taking advantage of somebody's inexperience, financial dependence, or physical dependence (old man/younger woman dynamic cuts both ways). That's what really bothers most of us, not the mere disparity in numbers. Obviously, there are exceptions to these rules, and more power to them, but in these cases, the odds of everything being fair and equal are not good.

That being said, Ashley Olsen is probably one of the few 21-year-olds who could hold her own with a 36-year-old in terms of independence, money, and life experience. Girl runs an empire. Seriously.

maybe he will teach her to wash her hair.

I think it all depends on the person. My husband is 13 years older than me and we've been married for 3.5 years, together for 5+. For us it works extremely well. I adore him and have enormous respect and admiration for him and feel so lucky that he walked into my life, even if it was earlier than I expected to find Mr. Right. Age is a lot about the person's state of mind and maturity level. I was 15 going on 25 for most of my teenage years and couldn't ever stand the thought of dating guys my age. I always knew I'd marry someone older than me - just maybe not THIS old. ;-)But it is wonderful for us.

That said - there are a bunch of factors about Ashley and Lance that make their relationship slightly creepy. First off - girl is famous for playing a very very little girl. Is he dating the woman or the image? Second, does he usually make a habit of going out with girls this young? Sheryl Crow is no 21 year old. Now, I can't blame him for wanting a girl that's younger and less experienced and possibly less bossy (somehow I think Sheryl Crow is probably pretty bossy), but still...why the sudden change? And finally a 36 year old never married with no kids (my husband) is VERY VERY VERY different from one who has been married before, has kids and at least one other failed engagement under his belt. Seriously, that's a lot of baggage for a 21 year old to deal with.

This is a long comment, I know, but I think it really does depend on the individual people (duh).

I don't think there should be some arbitrary age difference selected. The problem I have with them dating is that Lance doesn't appear interested in anything serious. I don't think anyone can be in that kind of relationship very long without wanting it to be more . I could be wrong, but I mean didn't they have a count down clock on the late night shows until the twins turned 18? I mean it just feels like Lance is up to no good.

I think the distinguishing factor needs to be maturity and place in your life as opposed to age, itself. If an 17 year old who is still in high school is dating a 27 year old who has been working for 5 years and is in a completely different place in their life, than that's the important difference, i think.

as for ashley and lance, i think he's a skeeze.

I work with a girl who is 30 and just got married to a 48 year old. At first we all thought it was a little strange but then we aw them together and realized that the 18 years difference didn't matter one bit. They are now having their first child together!

I voted other, like others have said, it depends both on the individual people and the stage of life (bigger age difference as you get older).

But to address the fact that women are usually with older men: Women mature faster than men. It's a biological imperitave, but I won't get into all that. For example, women start to think more rationally about who they date around 16, while men don't see past "hot" till about 22. When I was 15, i was dating a 21 year old, and whenever I told someone, they would gasp and tell me he just wanted sex. The reality of it was that the boys my age just wanted sex, the older guy wanted someone to talk to and do things with. We never did more than kiss and hold hands. As long as the power is equal, it's fine. Once in awhile my husband says to me "you know, I have 13 years more life experience than you..." and I just laugh and tell him "you shouldn't brag about taking so long to grow up."

I don't think there is anything too big.

My guy friends have an equation:

Your age divided by two, plus 10.

EASY!!!! And makes sure that you're not doing illegal activities!!!!

On this example is more that she looks like she's 16 - not that fact that they are 15 years apart that bugs people

I agree with most of th other posters. Its not so much the age difference as when it occurs in their lives. Like if one person is still in their teens then 5 years is pushing it, however if one person is 40 and the other 55 I dont see a big deal...
Though vikingprin has a point about girls maturing faster than boys.

My boyfriend and I are 11 years apart. When I first met him, that was something that I thought would be an issue. We've been dating for a year and a half now, and I could not be happier. If it works out, then it works out-- regardless of age.

i also think that the older you are, the less the age difference matters. five years when you are 18 seems like a big difference because a 23 year old person is at a difference point in their lives (finishing high-school, starting college vs. after college, working full time). 40 and 45 years is practically nothing. anything 20+ years time of bothers me because the older person could be the younger person's parent. a 60 year old could still be working for retirement while an 80 year old has been retired for a while. I wonder though, if anyone has done a study for older couples with large age differences and what effect that has on health. does an 80 year old with a 60 year old have better health because the 60 year old keeps the 80 year old 'young'? does the 60 year old age faster because they are with the 80 year old? maybe it depends on who the dominant person is in the couple.

I don't really believe in age differences. If two people really fall for each other, I say why not date them. However I think once you go pass 25+ yrs older, then things can be alittle weird however if you can deal w/ it, why not?

i used to think older guys were sexy but sometimes when you get to know them they just seem so...old. my boyfriend is 24 and i am 21 and that is a perfect age difference for us and we have a beautiful, young love

I will say this pairing seems odd but who knows. If they are happy and it works good for them.

I'd lean towards 20 or more years being a bit much but really it depends on the people involved more than anything. I tend to agree that the differences between a 21 year old and a 41 year old would be greater than someone who is 38 dating someone who is 58.