This is so sad.

Some people have the most out of whack priorities.

I think the emphasis in the US on physical perfection is approaching the absurd (if it hasn't already gotten there). I don't think this is limited to new mothers - it includes all the people getting plastic surgery on their belly buttons, too, and everything in between.

Personally, I would never do this. I don't want to be one of those people that clings to being 16 as long as possible. I want to find beauty in other things.

However, that is just my opinion. If someone else feels like they need this who am I to judge? I don't know what's going on in their brain.

I've never had a kid, but def the repercussions on my body when I do scare me. I don't think I would say that all post-pregnancy surgery is bad b/c in some instances, it is very necessary and not just for cosmetic purposes. I saw a TV show on Discovery Health Channel about a woman who had given birth to sextuplets. Her stomach had grown so big, that when pregnant, she couldn't even touch the tip of her stomach with her arms outstretched. Needless to say, all that excess tummy fat didn't exactly remain elastic and it never stretched back into place so she was left with a very visible and very embarrassing, for her, tummy thing. She and her husband affectionately called it "her front butt." She was able to have surgery done on that "front butt" and the end result was not wash-board abs, but a smoother stomach so she could feel comfortable in her clothing again. She wanted to go for a boob lift but the doctor actually said "no, just buy a better bra." ha! so yeah...

I don't think it's good or bad. If you think you want to do something like that and can afford it, by all means go ahead, but it's not for me I don't think. My friend just had some cosmetic surgery done for medical purposes and the recovery was really difficult. It makes the decision harder to know that you are doing something like that to your body that is not necessary and is very difficult to recover from.

Honestly I can't really say. I am not a mom and haven't experienced this but I would have to say that it goes by the individual here.

i think it all depends on what the mommy wants.. if they want a make over to get there body back then go for it! .. but thats not saying that a mother should look perfect.. she had childern.. and if she is happy with her body then good for her!!.. i think it totally depends on the persoN!

I am not going to judge someone based on this. It's their life and body. But I will say this....

I am glad that in my circle of friends and where I live this is not the norm. The focus is on being healthy, not perfect. It is so sad that people feel the pressure to change themselves to conform to someone else's idea of beauty. I have no desire to have work done.

I do, however, think there is something wrong with blaming or resenting your child for the way your body looks.

I'm proud of my post-baby body and battle scars (stretch marks).

Argh. If we didn't pathologize the postpartum body, maybe women wouldn't feel so bad to the point of wanting surgery to "fix" what they perceive to be problems.

Honestly the thought of loosing my body now is devestating to me (I'm only 20 and kid-less). I know after I have kids I'm going to work hard for my body again, and if that means a little nip and tuck then I'm all in!

i agree ashcwebb

Are you kidding? ha! everyones just saying 'well i dont know, i havnt had a kid' or 'well alittle surgery might make me feel better' come on! If you cant deal with a post pregnancy body then dont have kids! is it that devastating to not have a perfect body?
Cant everyone wake up and see that looks arnt everything? theres more important things to worry about than a little stomach flab.

i dont see anything wrong with it if thats what the mom wants. although, triple surgery is risky and once you have kids you should be worried about complications and possibly leaving them motherless...
i'm not a mom though so i guess if you really want it bad enough you'll risk it.

If my body looks horrible after having kids, I'll do it. I don't feel comfortable unless I'm myself. I can't stand it when I gain five pounds! But I would wait a while and focus on children before I'd make a decision. Maybe I can live with it, or maybe I feel horrible all the time because of the way my body looks.

" If you cant deal with a post pregnancy body then dont have kids!"
I dont think thats fair to say... Just because when and if I have kids, I don't want to lose my figure...doesn't mean I'm going to be any less of a mother.
In my opinion, as long as they don't go for surgery immediately after giving birth and completely neglect their newborn baby, all the power to them.
When I'm ready to have children, I plan on exercising throughout my pregnancy so that it's easier to get my figure back afterward...and if exercise afterward isn't enough to lose the tummy, I will get it fixed when my baby isn't so dependent on his/her mother.

As a mother, I have my battle scars (stretch marks) and the belly pouch, and of course, if I can erase those, I'd probably do it. But I already gave up on that notion of having to be perfect physically and I'm just concentrating on daily life now, my appearance has become almost my last priority

Another thing, if those mommies can afford to go under the knife , I'd say "why not?" But if they're doing it immediately after giving birth, I guess, it's their choice, but it won't be mine, because I can't imagine going under the knife so soon afterward, during the bonding time and breastfeeding time...

After reading through these answers, I guess I _am_ feeling a little judgmental here. But I want to try to understand the other perspective.

For the people who want to do it, what is that makes you so concerned with your body? Do you really think that you will be flabless for the rest of your life? Do you feel like it will make you happier somehow? Are you afraid your husband will leave you?

I'm honestly just curious because I'm surprised at the number of people that seem petrified of losing their body.

I'm not a mother, so I can not speak from personal experience, but I would like to think that I'd be proud of my natural post-baby body. Surgery just seems too extreme, especially when you should be more worried about caring for your newborn baby!

I'm not preoccupied with looking good, I just think I'd feel more comfortable in my own skin. I do think it will make me feel happier to feel like I look good when I'm completely naked. I'm not completely comfortable naked right now (at 23 years old with no children), so I can only imagine how I'll feel after I've given birth. I guess thats just the person I am, and Im not judging people who keep their baby battle wounds, because thats beautiful as well. I'm not saying that I'm 100% going to do it, but if I had the opportunity later on after my baby is less dependent... I'd take it...no doubt.

im 23 and have no kids but once i have my second(and last) kid I already have my surgery all planned out. I tell my by bf that after the 2nd kid Im not going to even go back to work, just take a lil more time off and go see my Dr. Rey from Dr.90210. Its funny whenever we sit and talk about kids and kids names the convo always goes back to Dr. Rey and my bf completly understands and supports that!

I don't believe in plastic surgery under most circumstances. For this case I would be proud to have a mommy body!

i dont think its going to make anyone less of a mother. it just seems like unnecesarry money being spent on things that dont really matter that much. 'and if you have the money then you might as well spend it' well no. theres better things to spend your money on. it goes over my head. i dont understand it.

Keep in mind that not every woman handles pregnancy in the same way. Some end up with horrific stretch marks and really bad pooches of skin that just wont snap back. Some women also experience stretch marks on the boobs as well as sagging after stopping breast feeding. Some women snap right back from pregnancy with little sign of ever being pregnant.
IMHO it really depends on the case...i personally havent done anything to my body post babies(i had twins) and i am fine. But i have friends who are really ashamed that they cant get their body into better shape. The skin just isnt the same. So i say that if a woman wants to do it, it is her choice!

Honestly, it all really depends. Some women honestly just can't get back to the fit or any state they were in before pregnancy. It also doesn't help that, you may want to just work out etc after giving birth but you have to take care of the kid. So what happens? You put off going to the gym and so on to take care of your baby. And also for eating, if you have a toddler, you have little foods everywhere and you get can get into Snacking also. It all just depends on what the situation is and the person who wants it or not.

I think its really sad that some women resent their kids for causing their 'post-pregnancy flaws'. I have no opinion about whether I think it is a good or bad idea to have surgery (if someone wants to do it, I guess that's their prerogative). But I think the thought of resenting your kids for taking away your perfect body is just horrible.

I think its a waste of money, plus, your body obviously is going to change after you have a baby. its nature. Not to say that I wouldn't get a boob lift...years after I had kids. but it wouldn't be like..have a baby, get plastic surgery done all in the same hospital stay

oh and yes it is completely fair to say. everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if i think that its stupid to have such a low self esteem that you need a boob lift to make you feel better and that mothers should stop trying to look 16 again then its my own opinion.

This obsession that society seems to have with plastic surgery these days has gotten out of hand. Why can't women respect themselves enough to know they are naturally beautiful anymore? It'll be funny when this generation reaches their 50s and they all have tiger face.

BRANDYNICOLE730: I was just thinking that myself! Are all these body-obsessed women going to just keep getting surgery for every sign of change? Really, what *will* they look like at 50, 60, even 80? They won't look like the mature beauties I revere: Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn.

Check out this article: http://www.myprimetime.com/health/fearless_aging/content/laura1208/index...

I already know that I will be having plastic surgery post babies... I need a boob reduction as it is (they are too big) so what better time to get one then post pregnancy...I wouldn't mind a tummy-tuck and I would kill for lipo on my thighs (please don't lecture about how diet & exercise will fix that- I am married to a personal trainer & we haven't been able to fix it yet.) I would never have it right after I have the baby but rather a year or so later. I want to lose the weight naturally (9 months on, 9 months off...)

I say to each her own.

Tiger face!!! :roflol:

I don't think I'll go under the knife for any procedure (since I'm too chicken for that), I also appreciate the fact that our bodies will change with time. I welcome it.
I did feel odd with my 'softer' breasts and the soft pouch on my belly, but that was in the beginning, I'm so used to it now, my son often pats my tummy, he thinks it's cute.

But if only I can spare a few hundreds to hire me a personal trainer and actually buy me TIME to work out at the gym, I'll be so happy!

eat healthy, breastfeed and exercise. best ways to lose all that weight.

Only a few people have touched on the fact that surgery is dangerous and painful and you could die. Yes, it gets safer all the time, and yes, some procedures are riskier than others, but any time they slice you open, there's risk of infection, mistakes, or anasthesia issues. I personally feel that unless you're dealing with serious quality of life issues (I think ginormous skin flaps from sextuplets probably count), it is probably quite imprudent to say, "Sure, hack me up, Doc!" In my view, surgery is something to be avoided at all costs, and performed only when my life depends on it. I doubt I'll ever go in for any kind of elective procedure.

bah...to each their own... if I can afford it, I'm going to do it...if I can't, I won't...we'll see how it goes!

1. When is the time when your baby will be "less dependent"? My understanding is that you can't pick up your child for weeks after these procedures. I don't know how you could have a crying child or a child who just wants to be held in your arms, but you can't do it because of an elective surgery.

2. This makes me sad. Yes, it's your choice, blah, blah, blah. Yes, if you've lost tons of weight and have huge skin flaps, that's different. But that's not the case for most of us. I'm 26, and I'm worried about what pregnancy might do to my body, but instead of feeling like our society is saying to embrace yourself, enjoy motherhood, and just be healthy, it's like all I hear is how awful your body will look and how surgery is the only way to get your body back.

More and more I'm turning to European ideas about beauty (BTW thanks to the post above for the Laura Mercier article). They embrace aging as a natural process, and they age gracefully and beautifully. One article I read says that Europeans see Americans as women trying to look like teenagers with the way we often dress and do our makeup, and with all of the plastic surgery. Maybe I'll need to move to Europe when I start to age, since I won't fit in in a sea of lifted boobs and face lifts.

well, i think it's okay to get fixed up after having a child. I lost all my baby weight the natural way, but breast feeding completely changed my boobs for the worse and i'm not as confident now, much less with the stretch marks on my hips and thighs. people can do whatever they want to their bodies, its not my business, but i don't think women actually resent their kids for this.

I am SO proud of my children and the fact that I carried each of the three of them for 9 months of my life (that's a WHOPPING total of 27 months). However, as much as I do consider the stretch marks, extra skin, and saggy boobs as badges of honor, I don't necessarily enjoy flaunting them at parties. I've never had the body that I've envied on other women. Even before pregnancy I wanted to have work done. Add the stretch marks, saggy boobs, and extra tummy skin...yeah, I've never wanted it more than I do now. Not because of how I look to other people, but because of how I look to myself. I can handle what I've got right now, but as soon as the day comes that I have an extra $15k laying around the house, that'll be the day I get my mommy makeover. And it's not for anyone but me.

erthed - agreed.

1. When is the time when your baby will be "less dependent"?

Oh I dont know, maybe when the child isn't depending on their mother's breasts to feed? Maybe when the child is 3 or 4 years old and can be taken care of by other family members while the mother heals for a couple weeks? I would consider that to be less dependent on the mother, and I wouldnt consider a mother who is having the father, aunt, grandmother, etc., staying with her to help with childcare while she heals to be a neglectful parent, I would consider her to be responsible.

The mortality rate is something to be considered as well. Say you're a new mom, you've got a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby, and if you could just get your boobs and tummy fixed everything would be perfect. You don't think about the fact that these are major surgeries and you could die, leaving your new baby motherless and your husband a widower.

Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) has a mortality rate of 1 in 600. That means that out of every 600 women who undergo the procedure, one can be expected to die. This statistic is taken from a plastic surgeon's website.

Liposuction has a death rate of 19 per 100,000. That's safer than a tummy tuck, but still higher than the death rate of people who are injured in car accidents (16.1 out of 100,000).

I couldn't find what looked to be reliable data on the mortality rate of breast augmentation/reduction/lifts, but it seemed to be the least dangerous of the three procedures.

I know this is inflammatory language and I don't usually indulge in that sort of thing, but this is something of which any woman considering plastic surgery should be aware. Doctors are pushing these completely voluntary surgeries so that they can MAKE MONEY, not so we can be any healthier or happier. It's about profit, not health, and I think it's shameful that surgeons are targeting women like this, and that women feel they need to look like nubile adolescents well into middle-age.

Very good points, Bookish.

As for the question of dependency, I guess if breastfeeding and babysitting are your only concerns, you're good to go. My friend has two young children, not babies, and she rethought getting a boob job after having to have back surgery and seeing how difficult it was to not be able to care for her kids, and she had plenty of help from her husband and family members. Fact is, the mother is still the mother to a child, and can't be replaced.

I don't recall calling anyone neglectful, I simply pointed out the obvious--your kids will still want you to pick them up, play with them, etc., and they won't understand why you can't. That, and when you take Bookish's points into consideration, your child may REALLY not understand growing up without a mother, all because our society makes women feel like they need to look like they're 18 their entire lives.