Okay, an ex-friend of mine was in this predicament. Her boyfriend was deploying to Iraq (we're all miltary peeps BTW), 1 month later she became engaged to him. Around that time, she met this guy I was in an orientation class with (who was also engaged). She was missing her fiancee like CRAZY, and before I knew it, she was getting too close to this other guy. So, they dumped their fiancees for each other and got married 2 months later.

Conclusion: Long-distance relationships= Utter impatience and unfaithfulness. So not worth it.

I've been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years. We're both starting our sophomore years at separate colleges (he's in PA, I'm in IL)... so we've been long-distance for most of the past year, and will be for the next three. I will concede that long distance is NOT the best situation. I would LOVE to be closer to him, and missing him is so hard sometimes; good-byes never get easier. However, in our case, breaking up is just ... not an option. We never even needed to discuss it. It sucks, but there's no way we COULD break up right now- it would make no sense.

I was in a semi-long distance relationship. We were about an hour away from each other when I was in school, but when I had to go home during the summer. I was about 3 hours away from him. Summers were hard, but we managed. We broke up for different reasons. Someone told me that in order for long distance relationships to work you have to be 'Romeo and Juliet'. Otherwise, it's just going to tear you apart.

I've been with my boyfriend 4 years now; 2 of them being long-distance. He's in the Army, so long-distance is just part of the deal when you date someone in the military. However, we have lived together for awhile (not at the moment), and will continue to do so once he returns from yet another year-long deployment. I won't lie, though...it is TOUGH, and there have been times where I think how nice it would be to have a boyfriend who is there all the time. However, I've just come to appreciate our relationship all the more, and I realize his love is worth the hassles of a long-distance relationship.

Now, if I were 10 years younger (I'm 29) I highly doubt it would work. I tried it with another military guy when I was 19, and it just did not work out at all.

LD relationships are not necessarily bad - they just require a lot of patience and trust.

My husband and I began our relationship long-distance - he was in basic training in Georgia but eventually moved to DC where I was living. I think relationships work best on a case-by-case basis, so there is no sense in ruling something out just because you think it may not work. You never know!

My boyfriend and I had a long distance relationship for 2 years. Fortunatly, we are together to this day. I think that it takes two people, both have to be willing to put a lot of effort into the relationship and their has to be intentions that the two of you will be together at some point.

Honestly, if I were put into a position where I would have to be in a long distance relationship again, I wouldnt do it. It was very exhausting emotionally (missing each other) and physically (traveling the distance to be together.) Your heart just has to be really into it and you have both have to be willing to compromise ALOT!

I'm currently in a long-distance relationship....my second go at it. I think if you REALLY want it badly enough, it's worth it, but at the same time, it's extremely tough to deal with it. As long as there's 100% open communication and trust, it's all good.

i'm currently in a LD relationship and we hope for it to be a temporary situation.

LD relationships don't work UNLESS both individuals are moving towards the same direction (mentally) and put work into maintaining contact and building a future that includes each other.

i find myself prone to LD relationships for some reason. They all don't start out LD, it just turns LD. weird huh?

i've done up and down the state of california, half way across the country with me in CA dn the ex in TX, across the country with me in CA and another ex in DC and now i am halfway around the world with me in the CA and current bf in Sweden.

LD relationships is an adventure. perhaps i like the challenge.

I agree that things vary from relationship to relationship. A lot of factors go into it--how long had you known each other before you were separated? Is there a definite end to the separation in the future, or could it go on forever? How often do you get to visit? What level of commitment had you reached before you were separated? How patient are you?

For my fiance and me, it turned out okay. We had known each other for four years, and had been dating for three of those years, when I decided to get my Masters Degree in IN and he got accepted to a Ph.D. program in Philadelphia. My program was only for a year, while his was for six, so we agreed that I would move to Philly after I graduated. It helped that he proposed shortly before we were separated. It wasn't an easy year, but I soon realized that I would be more unhappy if I broke up with him than if I just waited out the separation. Now we are together again, and everything is wonderful.

I think in today's culture, with it's emphasis on instantaneous gratification (especially sexual gratification), a lot of people think that folks who opt for long-distance relationships are just stupid, especially if they're young. Everybody's different, however, and I think people should do what makes them feel happy and fulfilled as individuals, which won't always seem the most practical or rational.

Neither good or bad; it totally depends on the people involved. I'm currently in one. Sometimes I get too jealous or I worry too much and I've reached a few points where I absolutely felt like giving up but I loved him too much to let go.

So basically, I think if you just happened to find someone really really worth waiting and fighting for, it might change your perspective on LD relationships.

I'm in one as well. We met on a cruise-- he's in Chicago and I'm in South Carolina. It's an 11 hour drive, so we fly to see each other once every six weeks or so. It's not easy, but I don't understand those people who say it's not worth it. The reality for us is that we can either be in a long distance relationship, or we can break up. There is no other option. So, we are important enough to each other to work hard on our relationship. If you can't handle the distance, I'm of the opinion that you probably shouldn't be together anyway. A year and a half and going strong, and we've never lived in the same place. It can be done. =)

IMO and in my experience (3 long-distance relationships) they are utterly pointless without a set end date when one partner will move for the other. Two of my long-distance relationships were with men who turned out to be complete commitmentphobes-- beyond that, completely unable to really be in a close-distance relationship. For both of them, I think, the distance was part of what they wanted in a relationship. (The second one had previously been in a 5-year, long-distance relationship in which they only saw each other every 6 months!!) My third and last relationship, we had to spend 6 months apart because I left for grad school. But he did move here, and those 6 months were actually pretty good because we talked on video iChat about 4-5 times a day! We're still happily together and have our own place.

i am in a long distance relationship right now. and it just works for us at this point in our lives (i moved because of my career) but i plan on moving back to be with him in a few months. i think that the hardest thing about it, is not knowing what is going on in his daily life because i was so involved in it before. not many trust issues have come up yet, i mean, there is always that "maybe" but at the end of the day, you can only control the things that YOU do, and worrying about what HE is doing will just make you crazy.

i am away at college and only get to see my bf a couple times a week. it's working out great. i wanna be next to him everyday but i cant right now. it's still great though.

fine if both parties are secure, committed to the relationship and independent. if any of those things sre missing it won't work. you have to be able to take it on faith that the 2 of you are "together" without the constant validation you get in a same city relationship.

my boyfriend and i go to different colleges, four hours apart. he has his own house and i live in dorms, so we visit each other as often as we can. the main thing that holds us together is that we're both 100% in it for the long run and cheating is in NO WAY something either of us have to worry about. he cant lie to save his life-- neither can i. he cant even keep birthday surprises from me! also he's a true believer in monogamy [although i wasnt until i met him] either way i KNOW it would be that much harder if that was something i had to worry about. i think this shows me flat out if its the real deal-- and if we can overcome things together and plan things together like all couples need to. the long distance thing brought us together emotionally if anything.. not only that but when we do finally see each other it makes it alllll worth it. if its the real deal, distance wont mean a thing.

Long distance is SO hard!!!! Especially when you have a few problems to start with... My boyfriend and I are also going to different colleges, we are about 7-8 hours apart. We are doing it but we have some hard times here and there. There are times when I just really want to give up because it seems impossible. Lickety split said it very well. It is very hard not having that validation, I can be a jealous person, as much as I try not to, so thats can cause some problems, but we have worked through them so far. Also like elmendoa said, it is hard not knowing everything that is going on in his daily life, especially when he doesn't tell you very much...like ever, uggg. I always have to ask tons of questions to actually get him started talking...I wish he just wanted to tell me things, to hear what I thought or just because he wanted me to know sometimes. Its very hard though.

LDRs will never work. most of the time, it just ends up in both parties getting hurt, or rather, getting tired of clinging on.

most of the time.

I have been with the love of my life for over 2 years and the entire time has been long distance. And when I say long distance, I am talking Canada to the UK long distance! We are getting married in just over a month! The key to our success story was incessant communication and frequent visits. We were lucky as it was financially viable for us to travel back and forth, but the point is it can be done.

We've been there, and survived. It was hard because there were times when we missed each other's presence and physical touches. But somehow (thanks to telephone, e-mails, sms, chat) we could make it.

But I don't think I would like to experience it again. I'd prefer to go with him, when he had to go for a long time.

i think it only good idea to have a distance relationships if it going to be temporary situation

i agree with redpointheels, this definitely needs to be judged case-by-case. My boyfriend and I met during our freshman year of undergrad and saw each other every day for four years. I'm in law school and he works and lives an hour away, and our relationship is better now than it ever has been! We get excited to see each other and make the most of our time together, and we fight a lot less!

if you can do it, it is a great way to get to know each other without and forcing you to work around it and have to look for ways to make your communication stronger
it worked for me but, not all can do it

without seeing each other and using visual to fill in the dots
( that is what is missing after without and before and forcing you)

My husband lives in Toronto and I live in Florida. We have been apart since May of 2006. We knew it was temporary (I'm moving up there in Nov. 2007 FINALLY) from the start which helped. You have to develop a routine for when you are apart and when you are together you have to make it exciting. My husband and I get one weekend a month together. I buy new lingerie and we eat at our favorite restaurants. When we are apart, we talk at least once a day, at the end of the day and share what happened during the day - even if it is boring - it's nice for the other person to know what you were doing. It's definitely easy to become jealous but you push though. If you both aren't willing to make it work, no matter what, I say don't go through the misery. It's a difficult process. But if you are both committed, it'll make your relationship stronger in the end because you don't take each other for granted once you are living without distance.

DaughterWar, what a bad conclusion to come to from one failed relationship! It seems obvious to me that there is more wrong with your friend and her ideas of commitment, loyalty, and patience than there is with the concept of a long-distance relationship.
I agree with RedPointyHeels, it is case-by-case. Sometimes it works, some people will make it work, sometimes it won't work, and sometimes people just aren't cut out for long distance. But, coming to the conclusion that all long-distance relationships are "Utter impatience and unfaithfulness. So not worth it" is a quick, biased judgement.

My husband and I lived 3 hours away from each other while we were dating and engaged (I was in college and lived with him over the summers). It wasn't the ideal situation, of course, but I really knew that we could have a successful marriage because we'd already been through the toughest part of our relationship. We never once considered ending our relationship and were never tempted to cheat--that's how I knew he was the one.

On a side note, my mom and her husband live 6 hours apart. They've never spent more than 10 consecutive days together in the 6 years they've been dating/married-- and those 10 days were their honeymoon. It just works for them.

If you're truly dedicated to this person, distance is nothing that can't be dealt with.

My husband and had about 3 months when we were apart. He was in Boston, training for work, and I was in Victoria, British Columbia. So VERY FAR away. It was definitely difficult, but I was lucky enough to be able to travel down there every 4 weeks and visit him. You need to be able to communicate effectively and put trust in the other person while they are away for it to work. Also a webcam is great so you can actually see the person.

A friend of mine, she had only been dating her now husband a couple of months before he moved to Ottawa from Victoria for work. They spent the next 10 months in a long distance relationship before she moved to be with him. They are now married.

My mum and her boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 7 years now and they are never going to break up. They are both so fortunate to work in the travel industry so that they can visit each other every few weeks or so. It's nice that he is retired too that he can come out for weeks on end and not have to go back to Montreal.

It CAN work if both people are on the same page and moving together in the same direction.

I've been in two, the first lasted 6 months and the second lasted nearly 2 years. It's nice in a way because of the fact that you don't see each other everyday, you appreciate each other more and have the visits to look forward to. Of course, when it comes time to part, that really sucks.

Plus, personally, I like my space and would rather NOT see him all the time.

I've had a couple long distance relationships and they've just ended badly, no matter how much work I thought we both were putting into it.

And I know this isn't the only reason for what happened, but a few years ago my father moved across the country for his job while my mother remained home because it was just supposed to be a temporary situation. And now they're divorced. It sucks enough that I couldn't maintain a long distance relationship for more than a few months, but when my parents couldn't maintain one temporarily after being married for almost 30 years? It just makes me very distrustful of them.

It all depends on who the two people are that are in the long distance relationship. If it 's the real deal between the two and they happen to be in two different places, then it's a good idea until they can work things out differently. But some people say they're in a relationship with someone far away but go out and flirt and date or whatever. Then I say no. What's the point of that? Just depends on the nature of the relationship, I guess.

It's hard to say...It's different for each couple. Those who have never engaged themselves in a long distance relationship are usually the first to say it doesn't work. I don't completely share that cynical view...However, I do think that there are both realistic and unrealistic situations and it's up to you to decide if it is worth it.

I was in a long distance relationship my last 2 years of college. My boyfriend was starting medical school in Philadelphia, while I was finshing college at the U of Iowa and if was definetly tough. We met about a month before he was moving to PA for school, so most of our relationship was long distance, and I think it helped that we were never accustomed to spending a lot of time together. That being said, it was still incredibly hard. Both being students and not having much money, we couldn't afford to fly out to see eachother much. Both of us have families in the Minneapolis area, so we would see eachother on holidays and over summer vacation. I did like having my freedom while I was at school to spend time with my friends, but I always missed him like crazy. I moved to Philly after i graduated and have been living out here near him for the past year and a half - it has been sooooo much better than LD! And he's FINALLY almost done with med school! It was tough, buet def. worth the wait to be together.

I had a great long distance with my guy for over a year. It forced us to do things we were not used to. We had to learn to trust each other hundreds of miles apart. We let us really enjoy the time we did get to see each other. I think it was the one factor that made our relationship last more than my past relationships.

I dated a guy for a year, who was in the army stationed at Fort campbell KY, while i was in florida. It cause me nothing but a headache over severe jealousy issues and it cost me alot of money visiting.

I'm currently in along distance relationship, my bf and I attend college in different state, he's in GA and I'm in ND. We've been together for two and a half years. I got to admit long distance relationship is hard work because we have to completely trust each other and staying loyal to each other. We have work and classes to study for, sometime the most we talk with one another is a few minutes between changing classes or during the drive to work or sometime we just write each other a quick email, but since we love each other so much I think it all worth it because it allow us to value one another and the time we have with each other.

i'm also currently in a LDR. I had one before but it did not succeeded not because of the distance, but for other reasons that might as well happen when a person is near. In this second LDR, my bf lives in the north while i'm finishing my major to continue studies in other university near his area in a year. He accepted the temporary situation with a little impatience but at the same time, we talk on the phone daily so it is almost like seeing him everyday.It is not easy but as the others have says, with love, compromise and responsability, it can work out.