Hey, I've been married several years now and have come to discover that the only true set in stone lines are the ones where someone gets hurt, or is doing something they fully don't want to do. If I were you I would ask myself to weigh how I feel about the request. Are you truly repulsed? Thinking it's the nastiest thing ever, or just kinda shocked b/c it's something a little unusual? Next, you can google "golden showers" and see everything from women peeing on men's mouths, belly's privates, you name it. You might have a little bit better of an idea where your feelings are at after seeing it.

Sounds like your boyfriend loves you a lot to bare a secret fantasy like that. Even if you decide you don't feel comfortable granting his request, it sounds like you've got a pretty good guy!

I think it comes down to what you're comfortable doing. If you're not OK with his request, you need to tell him so & don't let him make you feel bad about not wanting to do it. That said, Danni99 gives good advice in that you might be more comfortable with it after you do some research.

This makes me think of the SatC episode where's Carrie's boyfriend (the guy who's with Gabrielle on DW now) wanted her to pee on him.

I guess I would think it was a little strange if my BF asked me to do this, but my obsessive reading of Savage Love must have jaded me, since I somehow don't think this is such a big deal. I read the subject line and already imagined him advising the person to be GGG (good, giving, and game).

That said, no one should ever do anything that truly, truly don't want to. And you should set up some kind of policy ahead of time where you can back out at the last minute if you want to.

I'm sorry yall, but that's just weird. I'd stop seeing someone over this...

hum my question is where?
shower seems easier and cleaner maybe?

sex and the city deja vu!
sorry but that's weird..id personally say no-buts thats me!

lol...i totally thought about Sex and the City as well!!! and didn't Carrie offer the suggestion of pouring warm tea on him too?

look, if he's a good boyfriend and you are truly not into doing it with him, then let him know and say that this fantasy will have to be kept to just that - a fantasy. otherwise, he should be prepared to accept a substitute method. the end.

and personally, i just couldn't do it...peeing on someone??? GROSS!!!

okay last post - refer to Dave Chappelle's spoof of R. Kelly - "I want to Pee on you" (piss, piss, piss, poo, poo, poo...)

okay i'll stop now!

Sorry and i am not judging anyone here but, i am with the others as well. IMO it's strange and if it were me i'd head for the nearest door...

I was thinking about this while I treadmilled, so I came back to post again.

Men like the "pee on me" scenario because it is such a subjugation of their power. Think about it. Him lying on his back, you standing above his torso that way. It's a power thing. I would be much more disturbed if he wanted to pee on you. I also think we are so quick to say "oh no, I would never do that and I would dump him!" but honestly, it's not that wierd. He wants to dress you up as a furry and have sex in the hotel fountain? that's wierd. This is just a 1 time exploration that he'll probably never want to do again. Plus, how great would you be, to be the woman who he'll always remember as daring enough, and caring enough, to do something a little wild with him? Plus, if you do it in the shower or bathtub it'd take 30 seconds, you could wash it away immediately, he'll probably reward you with some seriously intense in connection loving, and then it's done for good and you can forget all about it. Unless you enjoy it, that power rush could be enjoyable.

maybe you could do it in the shower? seems like the beginning of something i wouldn't be interested in because it's the first step toward sexual things i'm not comfortable with. what's he going to ask for next year (eww)? or in a few years.

yeah, that's pretty foul, in my opinion. but to each their own. if you are uncomfortable with it, DO NOT do it!
i also thought of sex and the city. and wait, where does he want you to pee? on the bed? who is going to clean up the bed??? yuck! would you have to lay down some plastic or towels or something? that definitely brings down the romance factor.

Don't do this if you are uncomfortable with it. Then, if he doesn't respect your feelings about it, that's when you may want to evaluate the relationship.

I think maybe there is an underlying problem he may need to address. It might not be uncommon to want something like this, but that doesn't mean that it's normal.

I feel that yes, each have their own taste in sexual preferences but like Lickety said, what is going to be next? What if he thoroughly enjoys it and you hate it? I don't buy the power thing, ITS PEEEEEE!!! No way would I do this to someone...honestly

I don't think I could. It's just odd to me...But it's your decision. Don't do it if you're not up to it, just like every one else said.

To each his own who's to say what is weird and gross to you is clearly not weird or gross to another. While it is not something I would do I agree with early posters do what is comfortable for you. Just because it is his birthday is not a good enough reason.

Personally, I find the idea of "golden showers" to be really gross, but I also don't think they're as uncommon a fantasy as a lot of people would think. I agree with what others have said above: think about it seriously, and if you really are grossed out by the idea, talk to him about it and see if there's something you could substitute or some other fantasy he has that you would be more comfortable with. (Danni99 is probably right that it's a subjugation fantasy, maybe some bondage would work instead?) If you decide that you're more shocked than actually repulsed, hey, give it a shot. Just don't let him pressure you into anything you really don't want to do, and be open with him about your feelings whatever you decide.

I find it odd that everyone thinks this is so disgusting, yet women are so quick to dress up like little "school girls" or cheerleaders for their man when he asks. So fantasizing about having sex with children is less foul than peeing on someone? I find it disgusting that someone can claim to love thier man yet they would drop him like a bad habit if he ever mentioned that he has "bizarre" sexual fantasies.

I would be worried that if you participated in this, you might be opening the flood gates (no pun intended) to him asking for weirder things...just do whatever makes you comfortable I guess...

UGH!!! i've heard of some pretty weird requests...but asking to be peed on??? not only is it slightly disturbing, because lets face it...who honestly enjoys pee on themselves? but it's DEF a gateway to try even more wilder things.

Okay, so one time, my guy asked me to put his whole penis _in my mouth_. How GROSS is that? I mean, he pees with that thing! And he wanted to ejaculate into my mouth, too - and then asked me to swallow it! I couldn't think of anything more disgusting than that.

Hello, people! Many sexual activities are a little weird and gross, if you really think about it, right? I mean, rimming, anal sex, oral sex, all involves getting really personal with other people's private parts. REALLY personal. While golden showers are less common, are they really any grosser or more deviant than what we all normally do? What about a guy who comes on a girl's stomach? Is that as gross?

And just FYI - I'm not trying to defend this because I am into golden showers. I haven't ever tried it because I don't have the interest and neither does my boyfriend. But I was thinking about this and realized how socialized we are to think certain things are "gross" and bad, when we engage in nearly identical things that we consider to be hot and sexy.

And of course, to each his own, what they choose to think is gross and what they choose to do in the bedroom. I just found the comparison between that act, and other "normal" acts, interesting.

popgoestheworld - good point.

But what is it about peeing on him that your boyfriend is so psyched about? Why is that a fantasy? I just don't understand...

I don't think I could physically pee on a guy. I can't even pee with the door open, haha!

personally, I wouldn't really have a problem with doing this if it was requested. even though it's not something that really interests me. But I really think you have to be confident about the levels of love and trust in your relationship, it's not something for a first date. You should never do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or bad about yourself and if you're in a loving relationship, your other half is going to be ok if you say no. So think about it and ask him questions, ask him what about it he really likes and how he imagines his fantasy in detail so you know just what he's thinking. If you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it - I think that's a pretty good way of looking at any sexual practice.

A lot of people here think it's an icky idea, but then so many people have weird predilictions that they wouldn't dare talk about. Me, I'm attracted to slightly overwieght men, preferably with beards. I don't doubt for a minute that for a lot of people, that'd be gross. But who cares what other people think as long as you're happy?

Hmmm...he asked for the "golden showers." Well I agree it is not an uncommon thing for people to do. And it is odd that he asked for this after going out with you for only 6 months.
Personally, I would rather walk down the street naked than do that with my partner. I don't even like him to be near the bathroom when I am peeing in the toilet!
Anyways, the bottom line is it seems like your sexual preferences are not matching up. On a scale of 1 to 10, he sounds like an 11 and you are maybe a 5. If you do not feel comfortable with this act, speak up. If he insists on doing something, I agree with the others in suggesting an alternative act such as hot oil or chocolate.
Remember you have every right to be comfortable with sex. You should not be forced or quilt tripped into doing something you do not feel comfortable.

Yes, I remember having to have 'golden showers' explained to me. I couldn't imagine ANYONE wanting to do that then. But now I'm a little older and wiser and realize that whatever goes on between two consenting adults is okay. So this really comes down to whether you want to give this a whirl or not. Your boyfriend sounds like he's opening you up to all sorts of new and fun things sexually. And that's terrific. But keep in mind that if there are things you just don't want to do, you don't have to. And it shouldn't have any bearing on your relationship.

i'm with popgoestheworld on that one. one thing that really bugs me is when people start to classify certain sexual acts as "normal" v.s. "abnormal". it's such a close-minded and self-centered attitude that i really don't think has any place when it comes to sex- probably the single most natural and inherent instinct we have. do you realize that sex is something humanity has been doing since creation and what separates us from animals (except for perhaps the Bonobo, lol) is that we have a gazillion ways to do it?! that's the whole beauty of it.

also- i personally think it's very dangerous to view sex from such a close-minded point of you: did you know that anal sex for instance is illegal in many countries? that something as normal and enjoyable for us as cunnilingus is considered the most foul and dirty thing in pretty much all strictly muslim cultures? that homosexuality was considered a psychiatric illness until pretty much the late-seventies, and still is in some parts of the world and even of the U.S?

just try to keep an open mind before you label people as gross and disgusting, or with "underlying problems". as long as a person's sexual fantasy doesn't physically/mentally harm anyone and is between two consenting adults, it should have a right to exist and be practiced without judgement.

wow, what a weird fantasy!

I'd eat a lot of asparagus, beans, onions, garlic, and drink a lot of dark soda and let him have it. See how he likes your stinky pee then!

Good points, popgoestheweasel and candy apple. Still not something I'm interested in trying (fortunately, my husband doesn't seem to be either), but urine is technically sterile, so if it's sanitation that's making us all go "eww" we can stop right now. Actually, one of my sisters-in-law says she gargles with it when she has a sore throat, and swears that it helps. The same sister-in-law (who's Muslim) called me after her grandmother's death (after a long illness and extended coma), freaking out because she'd given her husband oral sex for the first time in their marriage the week before and she was convinced that her grandmother had died because of their "sin." What is or is not "gross" or "dirty" is often simply a cultural construct.

To the women (girls?) who would actually stop seeing someone because of this request? Sheesh, get over it! Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in this at all, never done it and probably never will. But if my partner asked this of me, I'd actually consider it a very respectful thing, that they felt they could trust me enough to ask me to participate in this fantasy with them. Would I do it? Dunno. But break up with someone over it? Absolutely no way!

I sure as hell wouldn't dump a guy over something like that. It does sound strange, but hey, the only time I'd do something like that would be in a shower with my man...of course I'd also insist on wearing heels(stripper-ish heels, I would imagine that's the only time those of us who aren't strippers would wear them...either to a club or when you're having sex with your man or girl...maybe even group sex). I know, I'm a freak....then again. However, that's as far as I go there. If it's to go #2 on him...Oh HELL NO! I draw the line there.

It sounds like fun to me, but if you feel uncomfortable, just don't do it. It's a bit desperate to give him sex for his birthday. Those 5-30 seconds of his satisfaction are not worth it if you're gonna be grossed out, frustrated and uncomfortable for days or weeks (or longer) afterwards. Only do stuff you enjoy, at least a little. I personally don't find anything gross or weird about it. It's actually a pretty common male fantasy and it's not degrading like so many of them. Tell him how you feel about it, if he cares about you, he'll understand. Tell him he can fantasize about anything he wants while he and his right hand are spending some quality time together, but sex should be fun for both of you. Or if you do it, at least get him to do something for you in return, like buying you some gorgeous shoes or taking you to Paris or Hawaii on a romantic getaway

haha golden shower. what a euphemism.

I don't think that just because someone thinks of this as gross that means they are close minded. Maybe to some people this may be normal but obviously for the majority it is abnormal! Just because someone doesn't think this is normal behavior, doesn't mean that they are close minded-just means the very thought of it turns them off! Everyone has their own things to each their own but this is an opinion forum and if someone doesn't have that same opinion I don't think they should be put down and labeled close minded...sounds a bit hypocritical of you to insinuate such a thing about someone else's opinion just b/c it differs from yours.

WTF?How in the hell did fantasizing about having sex with small children get into this. I'm not even going to go there.Are you kidding me???? I think peeing on someone IS WEIRD.! I believe I also stated in the beginning of my post that "I'm not judging anyone here".So now let me repeat myself again for those of you who are so quick to respond negatively. For the people who enjoy that kind of stuff, I say good for you.If it makes you happy that's great. To the others who accused a few of us of being close minded, wow,exactly how long did it take for you to come up with that ridiculous conclusion.( i'm thinking it's you who would be the close-minded person).Keep your judgements about people you don't know to yourself and stop being such huge pains in the a$$e$ when somebody else dares to disagree.Geeze

sorry if my post was a bit too flamboyant.. didn't mean to be a pain in the ass to anyone. i just hate hate hate when people start labelling behaviors as normal and abnormal. i have a very close gay friend from a small christian community and let me tell you he's been through hell coming out and dealing with those exact same kind of reactions. and it's not even the "eww gross" that ticked me off but the poster (i dont remember who), who was talking about "underlying issues". that is such a judgmental thing to say and can be very hurtful when said to someone just because they're different.

I just want to make it clear that i am in no way judging anyone for what they choose to do behind closed doors.On the other hand I am sorry to hear about how people are treating your friend.No one deserves that BS regardless of who they are and you are right it is very hurtful.I am mortified and ashamed to think that i actually have to share a planet with those morons who don't have one penny's worth of common sense.But there are also alot of folks out here that don't think that way and i don't believe any of the others comments were directed towards that issue or neither meant to be hurtful.It's kind of hard to express yourself typing words on the screen and sometimes people tend to take things personally.It happens.Anyway i honestly hope that things get better for your friend if they haven't improved already...

vm, thanks for understanding. my point was just: what's strange to you would be normal for someone else and vice versa, so let's try to all live and let live without judging anyone.
and i DO take some things personally sometimes.. it's just an issue that's had such an impact on me and my friends' lives. as for the good friend i mentioned, yes it's better now as he moved to a bigger city for university. it's still very hard on him though, being only twenty-one and virtually being cut off from his whole family and community just because of something personal that was essentially no one else's business, but that he had the courage to be honest about.

Your welcome!I glad to hear he's doing better.Good for him for being honest.I also really hope is family comes around.I can imagine that it has to be so devastating to be cut off from the ones you love. Maybe what they need is some time to adjust.He is very lucky to have you for a good friend.Good Luck!