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Do Tell: Have You Ever Been Used?

Thu, 10/09/2008 - 11:00am by DearSugar
365 Views - 15 comments

I’ve been fortunate enough to build a strong group of friends over the years, but in the process, I’ve encountered my fair share of people who were only out for their own gain. Of course as I’ve gotten older, it’s rare that I find myself in the position of being used by someone, but I’d be lying if I said it’s never happened before. And it’s always an unpleasant realization. Have you ever realized that someone was using you?

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15 Comments Add a Comment

  • Marni7's picture
    Marni7
    1

    Yes...by the same person too..I dont think its always in the physical sense either..the worst kind for me is someone using you to feed off ur energy and the way you raise their spirits up constantly and then kinda just leave after they are done..hmm i feel like i may have just gone off on a tangent there..lol..maybe not..errr its 3 oclock..so its babbling time Sticking out tongue

    8 weeks 3 hours ago Report Comment
  • Mesayme's picture
    Mesayme
    2

    Ab!solutely... There isn't enough time in the day to tell the story. But I can say that a certain person(cretin) has caused my life's stories and antidotes to show up in the darnedest places for his and his friends personal gain...financial and awards. If I saw him today I could burn off his hair with my glare alone I despise him so much. Imagine someone stealing your diary and publishing it as his own...now offering to help you publish it...just flat out stealing it. Augh!

    8 weeks 3 hours ago Report Comment
  • havok636's picture
    havok636
    4

    yes.
    i cried for days when i found out.
    my first boyfriend was using me to do his homework/pay for sh*t/pretty much help him any way i could,
    meanwhile he was lying to me and smoking pot every night.
    i was dumb in high school

    8 weeks 3 hours ago Report Comment
  • Leene's picture
    Leene
    5

    In middle school other girls used my popularity among boys to get popular too. I felt really bad. I have never let that happen again. Those same people keep still trying that.

    8 weeks 1 hour ago Report Comment
  • Jammi's picture
    Jammi
    7

    "the worst kind for me is someone using you to feed off ur energy and the way you raise their spirits up constantly and then kinda just leave after they are done"

    Agreed. Especially when you need them in your time and they manage to avoid the situation but have no issue calling you up at three in the morning to moan about their man. Part of it was my fault since once I realised she was a user I didn't drop her, but I really liked her family, lol. And the thing is, I don't think she knows she was using me, in her mind I was/am her best friend and I'm there to deal with eher issues and better her, which i wouldn't have a problem with if she would do that same for me.

    8 weeks 36 min ago Report Comment
  • Jammi's picture
    Jammi
    8

    "the worst kind for me is someone using you to feed off ur energy and the way you raise their spirits up constantly and then kinda just leave after they are done"

    Agreed. Especially when you need them in your time and they manage to avoid the situation but have no issue calling you up at three in the morning to moan about their man. Part of it was my fault since once I realised she was a user I didn't drop her, but I really liked her family, lol. And the thing is, I don't think she knows she was using me, in her mind I was/am her best friend and I'm there to deal with eher issues and better her, which i wouldn't have a problem with if she would do that same for me.

    8 weeks 36 min ago Report Comment
  • Jammi's picture
    Jammi
    9

    sorry for the double post, don't know what happened there.

    8 weeks 35 min ago Report Comment
  • Anniina's picture
    Anniina
    10

    I can't think of anything severe but specially middle and high school were always filled with twisted relationships and what not.

    havok636, that's horrible!

    7 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • justanerd1975's picture
    justanerd1975
    11

    I have always had a way of attracting the users, I figured myself out at about age 30-lol-I love to give, and users love to take. By the time I would come to suspect that I was being used, I would be in love and didn't care if I was being used enough to actually leave (would just cause fights about it till they left me lol, this happened a few times) or I felt like I had invested so much into the person that I had to see them succseed despite themselves. Oh how I have muddied the path of goodwill. Now I can see a user a mile away and I no longer help people who don't help themselves, if I help them a 'coupla times and realize they are never gonna help themselves, and just keep on asking me, I back away from the person. Even my family cannot get me to aid them in being losers anymore...

    7 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • lexichloe's picture
    lexichloe
    13

    Yes, now that I'm older and more insightful, I realize I was used a lot in college. I was popular, and my friends at the time did take advantage of that.

    7 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • bbkf's picture
    bbkf
    14

    In college, a lot of my "friends" would just use me because I knew people who could get us into parties. Once I realized they didn't care about me, only my connections, I stopped talking to them.

    7 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • ilanac13's picture
    ilanac13
    15

    YES YES YES. it's really upsetting when this happens too. the first time that i lived in nyc - i had this group of friends that i grew up with in NJ that would come and visit me every weekend in the city and stay at my apartment, so i made a copy of keys for them so they didn't have to wait for me all the time. then we would go to bars where my friends worked and that meant that we could get in and drink for free/less money. it got to the point where if there were nights/weeks that i wasn't necessarily into going out, they would get mad at me and not talk to me for a while cause it meant that they couldn't go out cause they weren't willing to pay for things on their own. it was really hurtful that i didn't tell them when i was moving to Florida and i haven't spoken to them since i moved back to NYC.

    6 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment

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