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The How-To Lounge: Making New Friends

Tue, 08/05/2008 - 2:00pm by DearSugar
815 Views - 12 comments

In the unending quest to meet new people, making a new friend seems the most elusive, especially when you've hit the point where quality is always more important than quantity. If you're in need, see my ideas for making new friends when you read more.

  • Take every opportunity to get out there and socialize, but keep in mind that you're more likely to meet new friends in situations that involve actual woman-to-woman interaction, like a BBQ, birthday party, or a recreational sports league.
  • Though most women I know aren't inclined to come right out and say that they would like to be friends with someone, I've never met a girl who wasn't receptive to a new friendship if another woman initiated it. Don't be afraid to pass out your number or ask for someone else's, it can be as easy as making a tentative plan to see a new movie that's coming out!
  • That said, everyone likes their personal boundaries maintained so don't come on too strong. She may get the wrong vibe if you text, call, and send her an email all on the same day. If she wants to be friends, it won't take more than one phone call or email to get the ball rolling.
  • Look to your current friends for opportunities to widen your circle. If she's a friend of your friend, you can at least be sure that she's someone worth getting to know. Plus, it's always easier to make conversation when you have a common connection.
  • Work is often the best place to meet someone new because not only do you share similar interests, but you see each other day in and day out. It's always important to stay professional, but great friendships can be born out of a job so don't be afraid to grow an office friendship into something you can enjoy outside of work as well.

Just like in the dating world, making new friends means putting yourself out there, but certainly the results are worth the effort.

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12 Comments Add a Comment

  • HayleyStark's picture
    HayleyStark
    2

    "Work is often the best place to meet someone new because not only do you share similar interests.."-- that is assuming you work in a field you are interested in. Which many of us do not. Myself included. I have no friends at work Sad They are way older than me.

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • crystalvillage06's picture
    crystalvillage06
    3

    Volunteering is a great way to meet new friends. Junior League was a great source for me to meet new people after college.

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • jessie's picture
    jessie
    4

    i'm sooo not people friendly. don't know why....a lot of women i've met just are petty and mean, and just wait for the moment to stick a knife in your back. shrug prolly why i only have a handful a friends.

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • looseseal's picture
    looseseal
    5

    Even when I had a job where I liked my co-workers, I don't think they wanted to hang out with their co-workers after work. We'd have a ball chatting and laughing at lunch, but it still felt like it'd be weird to invite them to an activity completely outside work hours and not work related.

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • sparklestar's picture
    sparklestar
    6

    I realised the other day that my facebook "friends" are people I haven't talked to for months. I have nothing in common with most of them. Me and my boyfriend tend to just hole ourselves up at home and stick to ourselves outside of work.

    I talk to the people I work with but meh... I'm a temp so I don't really make many friends in work environments?

    I am starting Uni again in September so I am HOPEFUL I can make new friends through my course. Smiling

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • LoveSarah's picture
    LoveSarah
    7

    Everyone I work with is way older than me. They are all married with families for the most part. And I'm a 20 year old still in college, I can talk with them and get along with them, but I wouldn't hang with them outside of work.

    All the other ideas are great, though!

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • bbkf's picture
    bbkf
    8

    I'm going to have to start recruiting new friends if mine don't stop having babies and dropping off the face of the earth! When I tried to make plans with one friend yesterday she literally told me "call me in four years." Sticking out tongue

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • MeggyPoodles's picture
    MeggyPoodles
    9

    I never realized how hard it was to make friends until recently. I find myself settling with the "friends" I have now because I don't really have anyone else. I don't have much in common with them and don't necessarily think they are good people. BOO. I am graduating from college in December, so I am hoping I will meet new people wherever I get a job!

    ugh I sound like a brat lol.

    15 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • gemsera's picture
    gemsera
    10

    Any advice for those of us who have moved countries? I find myself spending my weekends at home with my bf or at his friends houses whilst they play playstation. Its quite sad. One of them has a nice GF who I get along with we go out sometimes, but I really do miss having my own friends.

    I am the only girl in an office of 80 (engineering) so no chance there and I really dont know where to start Sad

    15 weeks 22 hours ago Report Comment
  • almost famous's picture
    almost famous
    11

    It's VERY hard to make friends.

    *Some women's circle are closed.

    *Some women are just jealous

    *Some women are shallow. They want their friends to "look good" and make them "look good".

    *Some women are just as shy and scared as some of us are to making new friends...

    The list can go on.

    15 weeks 21 hours ago Report Comment
  • kate266's picture
    kate266
    12

    I know exactly how you feel MeggyPoodles! I think some of my friends are beotches and fake but I also feel like I need them and 'settle'. Good friends are very hard to come by.

    15 weeks 20 hours ago Report Comment

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