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Who Do You Blame: The Cheater or the Homewrecker?

Wed, 07/02/2008 - 10:00am by DearSugar
3,636 Views - 96 comments

In case you aren't up to date on your celebrity gossip, Sienna Miller is onto her next relationship, albeit still "rumored" with Balthazar Getty. When I saw the pictures of them together, my first reaction was obviously disappointment (he's married with four kids for crying out loud!) but I have to say my anger was directed more towards Sienna than Balthazar. Of course, it takes two to tango, but since she's the unattached, unfazed part of the equation, it's easier for me to call her the homewrecker than it is him. Unfair — yes, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way. When it comes to infidelity, placing blame doesn't make the problems go away yet it's still an automatic response so ladies, tell me, who do you think is to blame in this particular situation?

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96 Comments Add a Comment

  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    1

    Neither. I don't think that Sienna is a home-wrecker. That's not how it works. I can't blame Balthazar either, as I don't know what his marriage is like.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • zabrow's picture
    zabrow
    2

    i don't see how she should take more of the blame. if anything, he's more to blame than her, in my opinion, since he's the one who is married with children. he's the one with the responsibility to uphold his marriage. i think they hold equal responsibility in this situation since they both knew he was married & had kids.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • bbkf's picture
    bbkf
    3

    I don't think she's any more to blame than he is.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • blondiegirl1012's picture
    blondiegirl1012
    4

    I never quite understand why we blame the other woman first and foremost. Yes she is guilty too but HE is the one that is married. HE is the one that is supposed to say, "I have a wife and kids at home." Women need to stop hating on other women and place the blame where it belongs.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Swen's picture
    Swen
    5

    I think in a situation like this, both people are wrong. I would probably consider the married person more to blame because he is the one who is in a committed relationship. But I think the unmarried one should still respect boundaries. I don't understand why anyone would date a married person. Don't you realize what you're doing to his poor wife? Don't you sympathize with her at all? And don't you see that if he's willing to cheat on his wife, he'll be willing to cheat on you in the future? Then again, who knows. Maybe he has an abusive wife and she has cheated on him before and he's about to get divorced. You can't really tell what's going on here.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Nitachequita's picture
    Nitachequita
    6

    While I really don't like Sienna and used to love Balthazar, I have to admit I feel BOTH are to blame. She is single and shouldn't even be looking at married men (although having dabbled in the past with no serious repercussions to herself, I guess she really doesn't care about the fallout she leaves in her wake). He is married and, even if his marriage is on the rocks, he should either honor his commitment or end the marriage first before embarking on another relationship.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • jessy777's picture
    jessy777
    7

    Both are to blame but this isn't first time she has been rumored to be with someone who is already attached. It sounds like it might be a pattern.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • skigurl's picture
    skigurl
    8

    she should know what it feels like to be cheated on (hello, jude law!?!) and she should never be doing this to someone else

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • MartiniLush's picture
    MartiniLush
    9

    I think both parties are equally to blame. It doesn't matter who came on to who first, either of them can easily say NO!

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • ffemt1201's picture
    ffemt1201
    10

    While I believe that she is no more guilty than he is...one must remember that he is the one with the wedding band on his finger and kids at home. Sienna should have known better but Balt is the one that made the commitment to another woman.

    Sad, really.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • joesbabygirl's picture
    joesbabygirl
    14

    Both. She's a homewrecker, but he also knew he had a wife and four kids at home...So its not all her fault.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Sun_Sun's picture
    Sun_Sun
    15

    both are to blame.
    him probably more cuz like the other ladies said hes the one whos married.
    but i would think that she wouldnt bring that pain on another woman after she was cheated on.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • cmd0610's picture
    cmd0610
    16

    Both are too blame- she's been cheated on I would hope she would have some moral bones in her body to say hey why do I wan't to inflict that pain on someone else . . . him because when you commit you commmit even if you arent "happy as can be" you need to fix things with your wife/husband first or get a divorce before moving on to someone new . . .I just feel bad for the kids Sad

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • cmd0610's picture
    cmd0610
    17

    I also was gonna say that Hollywood goes by it's own rules but in retrospect I'm sure this happens just as much to "normal" not famous people too?

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • jenintx's picture
    jenintx
    18

    i agree with those who say it's the married person's fault more (in this case, balthazar). i don't know why women always get the "homewrecker" label when it's a two-way street. despite that (two to tango), i still think the married person is more to blame b/c no matter how bad the relationship may be, you've made a life-long commitment to someone, whereas the other person never made that commitment.

    if you're going to cheat, just go ahead and call it quits. you'll be doing yourself, your fling and your family a favor.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • lms's picture
    lms
    19

    He is more to blame IMO. She couldn't be a home wrecker if he didn't allow it.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • kiwitwist's picture
    kiwitwist
    20

    I would blame him. He is the one in the commitment and has vows, she doesn't. Not that what she is doing is right by any standards but he is to blame... she just isn't helping the situation. But if they are together then she is a HUGE hypocrite.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Le Luxe's picture
    Le Luxe
    21

    I say her more than him because she KNOWS he is married and has kids, but yet she just had to go there still. Plus, she doesn't have the best rap with married men....not like its the first time!

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • LaLa0428's picture
    LaLa0428
    22

    Both need to be slapped! But, he took the vows and all. And his wife just had a baby last year, so I really want to smack him. I had such a crush on him back in the day.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • popgoestheworld's picture
    popgoestheworld
    23

    It's hard to know what the circumstances of their marriage are. Perhaps they have an open marriage? With everything being mostly speculative right now it's not really fair to jump to conclusions.

    But let's assume he did cheat.

    1) Why is anyone surprised?
    2) Why is it Sienna's problem?

    Sure, she could have said no, but I'm sure he'd find pu$$y elsewhere. I'm sure it's not really hard to come by for someone with his fame and fortune.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • tomatoshirt's picture
    tomatoshirt
    25

    who is this guy? and why is Sienna famous?

    But yes, both are equaly guilty.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • jillerin457's picture
    jillerin457
    26

    Both. Infidelity grosses me out. Even if his marriage is not going well, publicly dating a known slutbag is not the answer.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • cordata's picture
    cordata
    27

    I don't know what the point of blaming anyone is ... that's for people in the relationship to decide.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • kayla74's picture
    kayla74
    28

    We can't place blame on either of them because we don't know the situation. He could have just as easily asked for it, not caring what the consequences would be. He should have said no (or not started it) because of his family. She should have said no (or not started it) because he's unavailable.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • lauraxtc's picture
    lauraxtc
    29

    BOTH.
    MOSTLY HER THOUGH.

    CAUSE SHE KNOWS HE IS MARRIED. SHE HAS NO SHAME.
    AND SHAME ON HIM FOR NOT BEING MAN ENOUGH TO LEAVE HIS WIFE BEFORE HE DOES HIS DIRTY DIRT.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    31

    If this is true, then I'd blame him more, actually. He's the one who made the choice to betray the family that trusted him.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • theCatsPajamas's picture
    theCatsPajamas
    32

    balth is the dog, hands down--he's the one with the ring and the wee ones. but siena's no prize either. if any of this is even true, of course.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • RaCheer's picture
    RaCheer
    33

    I would have to call her a hypocrite! Didn't she leave Jude because he cheated on her. Just because she's the "other woman" this time doesn't make it right!

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • SMEEheehee's picture
    SMEEheehee
    34

    Both people are wrong but I completely believe that he's more at fault. he has responsibilities and his cheating shows a complete lack of respect for his wife. the person in the relationship is always more at fault.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • cubadog's picture
    cubadog
    35

    They are both equally to blame both are showing a lack of repsect in general.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • sarabel's picture
    sarabel
    36

    i feel like there is a tendency to always blame the woman in any cheating situation. it's the person in the relationship that is at fault. there is some blame to share but the fault lays on the person(s) in the relationship.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • sarahPUFFY's picture
    sarahPUFFY
    39

    If this is true, then both. Both are grown. She's been cheated on before, so to even consider being with the guy is unnerving. This dude has Lord knows how many kids with a woman at home. They know better...

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Edie J Blige's picture
    Edie J Blige
    40

    I'm really surprised, DearSugar. I have to say your view on who is to blame in this relationship is pretty outdated. I'm so sick of the sexist views that women are either madonnas or sluts, and women who serve as the other woman get the "slut" label. And then men get off relatively scott free with little damage to their reputation, because men are expected to act promiscuously.

    Hey, that dude took vows, and broke them. I think Sienna is in the wrong for not considering the kids and his wife's feelings, but ultimately, the well being of his family is in the hands of Balthazar.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Mykie7's picture
    Mykie7
    41

    I blame them both. As I've said many times before, whether it's a woman or a man, if the person they are interested in is married, no matter how crummy the marriage may be, that person is HANDS OFF until the divorce is final. It's the reason I do not like Ryan Phillippe, Angelina and Brad, Tori Spelling (Well ONE of the reasons where she's concerned) and the list goes on. I have no respect for someone that can so easily defile the sanctity of marriage.

    I will support someone's right to sleep with as many SINGLE people as they want, as I did with Sienna, but the minute I find out they have slept with someone that is married, they're dead to me. Same for the married person. IF their marriage vows mean that little to them, what else will they cheat on?

    And no, it doesn't matter to me if the couple is legally separated, or in the process of divorcing. IF it's not final, signed, sealed and delivered then it's hands off. Period, end of story.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • morgs's picture
    morgs
    42

    I don't believe the rumors. Besides, if it is true no one knows that really happened. He could be in a miserable marriage, his wife could be cheating as well, etc. People in glass houses...

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Briandiesel's picture
    Briandiesel
    43

    I blame the married one. No matter what... Homewreckers are people with no morals, but they arent married.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • dragenfly75's picture
    dragenfly75
    44

    No such thing as a home-wrecker. He is MARRIED. He took vows. She's just stupid and maybe immoral.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Ms  Anonymous's picture
    Ms Anonymous
    45

    i blame him more he's the one who made a lifetime commitment to his wife...she's living life as a single gal and i dont think she said to herself 'oh there's a married man with four children...how about i sleep with him so the paparazzi can call me a homewrecker?' i think he prob initiated it but that sienna is wrong for partaking in the affair...

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • californiagirlx7's picture
    californiagirlx7
    46

    I would definitely blame both - it takes two to tango. However, I think that some people tend to blame the woman because they feel that they should know better and that its "breaking the laws of sisterhood" by taking another woman's man. I'm not saying that's right, but I think thats the way some women subconsciously feel.

    8 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment