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Dear Poll: Would You Let Your Boyfriend's Personal Issues Affect Your Relationship?

Tue, 07/01/2008 - 10:00am by DearSugar
1,093 Views - 31 comments

In the wake of the Anne Hathaway/Raffaello Follieri breakup, more shady behavior continues to be revealed yet Anne soldiers on to promote Get Smart with a smile on her face. As we all know by now, reports state that Anne dumped Raffaello because she didn't want his legal troubles to affect her reputation or damage her career, but after four years together that must not have been an easy decision. We all come with baggage, but when you're in a relationship that's not bound by the union of marriage, breaking up is much easier to do if that load becomes too heavy to handle. Since it's impossible to just turn off your feelings for the person you love, tell me, would you ever let your boyfriend's personal or professional issues affect your otherwise functional relationship?

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31 Comments Add a Comment

  • Le Luxe's picture
    Le Luxe
    1

    Hmm- something of that magnitude would not be worth it for a man. Especially for Anne who has a great career, and would never want to be linked to a bad rap like that.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • apma's picture
    apma
    2

    He did some pretty slimy things. You can't just overlook those things unless you want your life to be ruined by someone else's problems.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    3

    If he's guilty of the things he's accused of, then that goes beyond being a "personal issue"--he's a scam artist and obviously not an ethical or trustworthy person. Why waste one's time on someone like that?

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • zabrow's picture
    zabrow
    4

    the kinds of things that he's accused of would call into question his integrity & honesty, which would definitely bleed over into the relationship. i don't think i could be with someone who was THAT dishonest in life, even if he was always truthful to me.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • wadewifey3's picture
    wadewifey3
    6

    He was smuggling money, our relationship would def. be affected. He's such a loser!!

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Whiplash's picture
    Whiplash
    7

    If I was Anne, I wouldn't be as concerned about my reputation as much as I was about the fact that he was doing dishonest, illegal, downright slimy things.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • joesbabygirl's picture
    joesbabygirl
    8

    I voted that I wouldn't run on the relationship. If you can leave someone for something like that than u dont love them like you should.....right?

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • besamemucho's picture
    besamemucho
    10

    It would completely depend on the situation for me but if his "personal issues" were anything of this magnitude of illegality I'd be out with no second thought.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • nv27's picture
    nv27
    11

    I voted "love unconditionally" and then I thought about it more and there are definitley things that outweigh love. Logic sometimes takes presidence. I watched this dateline once where a husband had raped and killed 13 women and his wife stayed with him after she found out because she loved him. Thats sick.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Kimpossible's picture
    Kimpossible
    12

    I think it completely depends on the situation. If it's illegal and/or psychotic then to me it's obvious that safety and justice outweigh love. It's one of those things that you still love the person but it's just not the right thing to do to stay with them sometimes.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Deidre's picture
    Deidre
    13

    I don't think it's a matter of "letting" a boyfriend's problems affect your relationship -- they just do. The kinds of situations people get themselves into are very telling of who the people are to begin with. Not to mention that how a person responds to their problems is very telling of their character. Tomatoshirt said is best that it's an issue of respect -- I would only want to be with a man who respected me AND himself.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • xminniex's picture
    xminniex
    14

    i also think it depends on the situation. In Anne's case, if he truly loved her than he wouldn't be doing illegal things knowing that she's a celebrity whose life is in the spotlight. Which in case can or damage her career. Its not worth it. There are so many other fishes in the sea!

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • popgoestheworld's picture
    popgoestheworld
    15

    I think that you could still love that person unconditionally, but you could also choose not to be with them.

    I would personally break up with my boyfriend if I found out he was engaged in the type of activities that this guy was involved in. It wouldn't be because of my reputation, either. It would be because he revealed himself to lack integrity and honesty.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • herjoiedevivre's picture
    herjoiedevivre
    16

    I love based on the fact that I think my man is what I think he is: smart, intelligent, and most of all, moral. someone who turns out to be amoral is not who I thought he was. Lies and deception that huge are part of someone's personality. Liars are losers. I don't stay with losers.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • herjoiedevivre's picture
    herjoiedevivre
    17

    lol and there I go using two adjectives for the same thing...that's what I get for trying to type after being in class for 11 hourssss Sad

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • cubadog's picture
    cubadog
    18

    I could not be with someone so slimy and unethical. What he is be accused of is going to land him in prison for the rest of his life potentially. Sorry I would be out the door too, to be honest when all of this was coming out the last couple of years I would have been gone.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • K is For Kait's picture
    K is For Kait
    19

    If the man really committed the crimes he was accused of, he's obviously sneaky and has no real morals. No woman should put up with that.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    20

    Don't forget that Anne is a successful actress with a (I assume) very big bank account. If I was her, I'd be wary of any scam artist who makes his extravagant living stealing people's money.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    21

    If you're serious about that person and contemplating a life together, their "personal issues' become yours. In this case, the guy turned out to be very questionable. And then what? She should stand by her man? And to what degree? To pay off his bills to maintain her relationship?

    She didn't have a clue about how he was managing his life, and that only makes you wonder what else he didn't tell her. Stick with him through thick and thin? I don't think so. She's worked hard for every penny she's got, and he's been screwing around with his and other people's money. I'm sure on some level he figured he'd get some money from her, which would be enough for me.

    She was very wise to walk away.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • fasdy's picture
    fasdy
    22

    Well, there's a rumor that she may have played a hand in him getting arrested. Supposedly, she's listed as an "ex" in the initial paperwork.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • stefsprl's picture
    stefsprl
    23

    Yeah, this isn't a "personal issue" that he's having, it's a reflection of his character. I don't blame her for getting as far away from that as she can.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    24

    Ummm . . .stealing, lying . . .it's not about my image or career, it's about my values.

    it's kinda something i don't do, and expect my spouse not to do.

    i dunno ... maybe that's selfish.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    25

    if he's stealing money from other motherf*ckas, then what makes me so special that he won't steal from me???

    yeah, be the donkey b*tch who stands by her man. he's in jail, and you're trying to feed your kids government cheese because everything was seized when the Feds made the bust.

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    26

    We had to suffer Ella Enchanted (my niece loves that movie, i hate my niece for making me watch it) ... Anne worked too d*mn hard to be pulled down by this guy, or any guy.

    y'all don't want to get me started, do you?!

    20 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • shannon_xo's picture
    shannon_xo
    27

    there are always deal-breakers. obviously he was lying to her somewhere for these accusations to come as a surprise.

    love or not, you should never compromise yourself and your integrity for a man.

    20 weeks 23 hours ago Report Comment
  • treb's picture
    treb
    28

    If it involved breaking the law, and I'll have to assume, lying to me about it. I mean, I wouldn't be in a relationship with somebody that shady knowingly, so I imagine he was hiding vital information from me. She did NOTHING wrong.

    20 weeks 22 hours ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    29

    I wouldn't let my HUSBAND'S personal problems affect me because we made vows and his problems are my problems too. If it were my boyfriend and he had lied to me about something or kept me out of the loop I'd really have a hard time coming back from that. I'd try to work it out and I wouldn't leave for sure.

    19 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    30

    ok, so i'm choosing not to get married.

    i'm committing to love you and have sex with just you, and possibly make you dinner every night.

    that's all. nothing else.

    you're suppose to love, honor, and obey. when he lies (like homeboy did), i think he kinda sh*tted on the honor of our relationship.

    i ain't going down with you. i can always remarry.

    first marriage is for love. if he f*cks up, the second will be purely for hot sex.

    the third will be out of desperation (you know, not wanting to die alone).

    19 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • EricaJane's picture
    EricaJane
    31

    I think it would mostly depend on how long we had been together and how good things between us were going.. As for Anne Hathaway, it seemed like most everyone was able to see she was too good for him in the first place, so she probably did the right thing, plus, he didn't respect her enough to keep himself straight, esp. since he was in the public spotlight because of his beautiful and famous girl.. I think that he could have made better choices if he was truly committed to her and if he was concerned with her image as much as he was with money..

    18 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment

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