I put undecided. For the fact of: did you use actual names in your blogs? did people reading it know exactly who you were talking about? Its a risk you take when you start blogging. You're talking about others privacy. Yours is one thing...your friends is entirely different. Its gonna be hard to make amends, but in this case you might not. Might just be best to just live and learn and not do it again. Good Luck!

Did you blatantly call her out on your blog? Or did you use 'fake' or no names at all? Regardless, you opened your journal to the public and you KNEW people were reading about this. It would be one thing if this was a real private diary, but its a whole other ballgame when you post it for the world to see. Didn't you know that it was a possibility that she would find it someday? It IS public after all!

you should read the article in the times about that blogger chick. the name fails me at the moment. but she had a blog where she detailed her whole personal life and her exbf had enough and wrote an article for another paper about being the subject of her blog. was definitely interesting. but basically- if it was obvious to anyone who knows this girl that she was who you were talking about, then you violated her privacy and trust.

Harriet the spy! You might have to try hard to get any forgiveness

If you put your own real name and hers on the blog, it's really unforgivable. If everything was anonymous and there were no recognizable names or locales in your blog, it would be less bad, but still not a good idea talking about other people's problems and judging them on a blog

If you really gave them all pseudonyms, and were writing anonymously yourself, then I think you should be forgiven. I understand the need to put your thoughts on a public page; I used to do it, I had a blog for more than 5 years. Then my ex boyfriend said he thought it was really undignified that I'd talk about intimate things on a blog, and that it made our relationship "less special" - I thought he was being a drama queen, until I met my current boyfriend, and suddenly, for some obscure reason (I guess real love, real respect?) I understood how all those words I was writing were disclosing pieces of people whose permission I'd never asked; all this for strangers to see, which, yes, was cathartic, but also such a lack of respect for everyone involved, including myself. So I stopped. Just like that.

You're a little in between having done something outrageously wrong to all your friends - and having simply needed to be heard, which is very human. Sometimes the attention of strangers makes us feel like we have a deeper connection to the rest of the human race. It's just that if you weren't only talking about yourself, and it involved people who didn't know their lives were being exposed for all to see, and you didn't protect their privacy by making sure that everything was anonymous and unrecognizable... then you did them wrong.

But you don't need OUR forgiveness. You need theirs. And I think a huuuge apology would be a good start. Some of them won't forgive you, and I'm sorry for the friendships you've lost. But some of them will come around, when you've done the right amount of introspection, change, and of course, again - piles of apologies.

Also, I think your friend is probably more hurt by the things you said about her, which you probably never told her to her face, than the blogging. You just sort of publicly humiliated her by revealing stuff you never told her you thought of her... so, yeah, hmm, that's kind of what "backstabbing" is. I think you and her will have a million years of talking sh*t through before you can be friends again. Put yourself in her shoes, and tell me you wouldn't be mad as hell about the betrayal...

lol it's funny that I'm not the only one who thinks of harriet the spy when they read this. you used the internet to express painful thoughts that were cruel about other people. this is different from a diary because it's something you put out there, and you can't control the location of it or who sees it.
you did this. you need to deal with the consequences. you might not be forgiven- true friends don't do that.

Why in the world didn't you keep track of your life in a private manner, or talk to a therapist. I think this is what gets me: "Friends and family knew about it, but I never really made it accessible for them." You mean, you didn't let them go on the internet? If they knew it existed and a friend successfully found it, then it was clearly accessible. Even if you didn't know names, any one of your friends would know which other friends you were talking about! You basically aired your friend's dirty laundry for the world to read, and then you try to pass it off as "oh it was anonymous, and it was good for me."

You say,"it was a way for me to talk through it without actually talking about it with anyone who might know her." Uh, why would have to talk about her life anyway? Why do you need to talk through your friend's problems?

*use* names, and really, as long as she identified herself enough that a friend was able to find the blog, we can assume SOMETHING wasn't anonymous. Just the fact that the friend found the blog means she wasn't really protecting anyone, even if she was using fake names!

Come on, this was a bad idea from the beginning. Anything on the internet is available for anyone to see.

Man, people need to learn that anything you put on the internet is no longer private.

Seriously, therapist or even secret hole in a tree is a better way to go with stuff like this.

From the sounds of it, your blog is about as anonymous as Gossip Girl's blog. You even knew that people who know you in real life read it. Logic says that if it can be traced to you, the person you blogged about can be traced to your friend (or should I say ex-friend?)

You should have known better.

I understand how nice it is to write things out in order to sort things out for yourself, but not everything you write has to go where everyone can see it...

If I were her I'd have a hard time forgiving you, too.

This is exactly why ive never understood the concept of online diaries. You're seriously looking for trouble. I write, but on PAPER!

I don't think you should be forgiven. You knew people were going to read your blog especially your closet friends and family, therefore someone would know who you were probably talking about even if you didn't mention her name, which you did. I don't think you're a good friend at all.

And if I was one of your other friends then I wouldn't tell you too much of my personal business from now on either. I would always remember you telling our other friends business on the Internet to family and friends. I think your foul, a foe, and could never be a trusted good friend.

It was Emily from Gawker and she claimed that blogging about her personal life completely destroyed her relationships.

I put "forgive" because who really cares about blogs on the net anyway? You read them and you move on. It's not like your friend is REALLY going to be affected by this.

How did she find your blog anyway? Did you use your real name or a common username that she knows? If so, that's not very smart...

Even less smart if you linked off your facebook to it or something!

this is less about forgiveness and more like a life lesson. now you know that the stuff you write on line can come back to haunt you. there have been numerous cases where people have lost jobs etc. because of the stupid things they have said 'anonymously' in a blog..

I said not forgive. That was a horrible thing to do. While we all don't agree with what our friends do from time to time a blog is not an invitation to write about it. If you can't say something to someones face then you shouldn't write about it either. Not only that it doesn't matter if you were using fake names or not. It was her life not yours and you had right to do what you did.

it's one thing to write a blog to talk about YOUR life, it's a whole other thing to discuss what's going on with someone else's life when you obviously don't have their permission, AND THEN to assume that they won't find it when your close friends & family know it's out there somewhere. even if you didn't use her name, apparently you gave enough detail for her to know that you were talking about her behind her back, which is so, so hurtful. it says a lot about you & your friendship with this woman that you wouldn't go to her to talk about the issues that you have with her, but instead discuss it with anyone that stumbles across on your blog. if i had a friend that did this, i don't think i'd forgive them.

I dont think you can be forgiven. Just learn from this and move on.

If i were your friend (you know, the one who wears the same panties 3 days in a row and sleeps with ugly guys from the club) i wouldn't speak to you again.

1. THIS is what you REALLY think of me.
2. You put it on your stupid blog
3. You're no angel yourself. you hooker-cat-it a lot too. but that didn't show up in your blog. judgemental b*tch.

it's not about it being blasted in Times Square, it's the fact that you blasted her business. not hot.

Smiling Faces. that's what you are.

It's still your diary, and you used fake names. The only reason anyone has to be angry is if they know you don't have the highest opinion of them.

I think this is the first time ever that I'm going with a flat out Not Forgive.

What makes my reaction so negative is that you took deliberate steps to keep your blog from being seen by your friends and family. You knew you were posting things that would upset the people you were talking about, and really, who are YOU to decide to put other people's private issues on the internet? Blog about your own messed up self and leave other people out of it.

I think that old expression applies here: With friends like you, who needs enemies. I agree with snowbunny. Take your issues to a therapist, not the internet.

Even if you didn't use names or obvious details, it was clearly obvious enough to your friend, and that's why it's wrong. You didn't have to use a paper journal. You could have just password-protected the blog, or opened it to invited readers only (they would sign in with usernames). But you chose to make it public, and I think that, in a passive-aggressive way, you were kind of hoping your friend WOULD find it, so she would know what you really thought without you having to tell her.

You feel like YOUR diary has been exposed? How do you think your friend feels? YOU exposed HER "diary" which is way worse than exposing your own. She probably confided in you because she thought she could trust you to keep it to yourself. You completely violated that trust, and now what are your other friends going to think? That you're publicly displaying their drama, too? I voted not forgive. Just learn from this and move on.

you say its like your diary has been exposed......when you're in fact referring to your BLOG, something which anyone with internet and a search engine can find. how can you be shocked? there is no way i would be able to forgive you if i was your friend

Not Forgive. As said by many posters above, you violated several friendship boundaries - trust, respect, and general goodwill. Why would anybody in their right mind keep you in their life? Due to your behavior, you're an element of untrustworthiness, disrespect, and malice. Toxic. Anybody with any self-respect, self-love would get rid of you.

undecided... if she was more or less just venting and not using personal names and not posting publicly then forgive but if she was flat out spreading the news across the net then forget her

Marci- I think this is the first time I voted "not forgive" either! I feel like I'm such a pushover, I can always see the other person's point of view and I'm always like, "oh it was a crappy thing to do, but we all make mistakes." I think what bugs me the most is that the poster acted like her friend's troubles were really hard on HER and it was therapeutic for her to write about them. We live in such a self-obsessed society that we worry about how we will get through other people's problems, and how their problems are making US stressed!!! At least that was the vibe I got.

And I agree with Jillerin...I could definitely see a part of the poster secretly hoping one of her friends would find the blog "accidentally." Oh, and probably hoping she got a ton of comments like, "oh I feel so bad for you, what a crappy friend you have! Etc." Ha...I'm unusually harsh today sheesh...I don't know why this question bothers me so much!

*too, not either

Wow. Everyone is being so harsh in their voting. Yes it's upsetting that you wrote about your friends on your blog but it is yours. If you didn't use real names and you didn't tell anyone you knew about it and pulled it down when they found it, you've done everything right. Apologize profusely and explain to your friends that you were only venting and didn't intend to have anyone read it. She may never come around but at least you'll know you tried. Accidents happen and it's over so there really isn't anything more you can do.

Karma girl

NOT forgive.

those kind of things are only harmless on TV.
a.k.a. "Hello upper east siders"

what are you, Gossip Girl?

Sorry I too am going to be harsh and vote NOT FORGIVE. And I am going to give it to you straight:

How naive are you?? You posted a BLOG. A BLOG!! A Blog is a PUBLIC journal for all to see. Sure you used pseudonyms BUT you clearly say that people knew you had a blog. Did you really think it was OK to post without permission about someone else in a public forum? You have zero respect for your friends and you should feel ashamed of yourself for what you did. It is one thing to post about YOUR life but to go ahead and say personal things about someone else on a PUBLIC website... and then act as if you didnt do anything wrong because it is your diary? Cmon - you weren't born yesterday. You better be begging for forgiveness because you broke the code of friendship in two horrible ways- trust and respect.

I initially put forgive, but after reading that your friend was a blogger on Gawker, it seems like it was only natural for her to find it and be horribly hurt. If I was your friend I would also not trust that you didn't just write about my business to gain readers for your blog.

I guess I would still try to forgive, but it would be really hard once that trust was broken.

you've been a dishonest, sneaky rat All.These.Months.(Years???) And you expect her, or anyone else, to trust in your character ever again? Pshhh, you have a lot of changing to do inwardly to even begin to earn back anyone's trust. You can kiss that friendship, and tons of other, good-bye. And I'm gonna guess that your blog-buddies never meant as much to you as the friendships you are losing now! I hope you PUBLICLY admitted to your rat-ness and apologized to everyone you talked about (not naming names) and to everyone who read any of it, Before you shut down your precious blog! If you didn't you should put one back up
just to apologize, and leave it up as such: a one-entry,apology post. That's just for your own self-respect.

megln1022, I think you're speaking of Kristopher Dukes? Didn't she have a similar situation?

I should tell you that this is coming from someone who knows exactly how this feels, my husband and I moved a family member into our home and paid for all of her needs to help her get onto her feet after a bad situation, and we had problems with her generally being disrespectful of our home, family and house rules while she was here,we always talked to her privately about these problems and we never told a soul never mind blogged about her attitude towards us, she always portryed herself as so sorry and oh, I'm just a mess and Oh I am so thankful for you and your wonderful family and all your help yada yada yada, so imagine how shocked,hurt and betrayed we were to find that she was "MySpacing" opinions about us that were hurtful, comments that were mean-spirited and when confronted she said "It was ONLY venting..." we never knew she felt that way, it felt like we had a liar in our home ( we did!) and turns out a lot of what she was complaining about,about us, was exxagerated so ridiculously that they were outright lies (like my not letting her use my car till she got a lisence turned into I was supposed to let her use my car as part of her paying rent(something we never asked her to do and something she never did either!,)and I wasn't, so she had to walk 3 hours in the snow everyday!! I don't know if she was trying to ellicit sympathy or what but between her saying such hurtful things about us online while she fakely smiled in our faces, lived in our home rent-free and ate all our food, all the while begging me to take her places and to go out with me and my friends, and then also telling lies to "sweeten" her story I guess, we felt as if we were seeing a whole new person when we read her entries. Sadly, she refused to apologize,let alone make things right, and ALL of our family members have been affected by this.
You may not have told lies, but you voiced unfavorable opinions about her that you never shared with her and told all her business and I can imagine she feels a lot like I did...totally betrayed.

sorry for the vent! sore spot. Just thought you should know how it feels, from the other sides end. Go and apologize to her, and if she won't listen to you, write it in a letter.

I have a problem with airing your "stuff" on blogs - sometimes it's just too personal. I can't believe some of the stuff I read now-a-days. Sorry, but I be very pissed!

when will people figure it out,, don't say something, or write something, you wouldn't say to their face

I say forgive...While it was really stupid...PAPER IS JUST AS GOOD! (No good can come from "going green" lol. These were your thoughts and it seems she is more upset to know what you really think. From now on tell your friends the truth vs. what you think they want to hear

Not forgive. You might have to find yourself some new friends!