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Relationship Protocol: Couple's Counseling

Mon, 06/16/2008 - 9:00am by DearSugar
369 Views - 14 comments

I’m always quick to mention therapy as an option for people in relationships who are working through what can seem like insurmountable issues. The effects of communication in a safe environment with a third party professional vary from person to person but have the potential to be quite powerful. That said, I’m not convinced that therapy is the answer for every relationship, especially those that have yet to commit to a lifetime partnership, marriage or otherwise. If you’re two years in and having problems, maybe that means you’re just not meant to be.

I’m being tough, I know, but do you agree that couple’s counseling is best left to the long-term and lifelong committed relationships? Or do you think therapy is viable for any couple that wants to make it work?

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14 Comments Add a Comment

  • annebreal's picture
    annebreal
    1

    I think it really depends. I'm going to do a few counseling sessions with my boyfriend of like 3 months, but it's not exactly couples counseling - it's my individual therapist for a specific issue that definitely impacts our relationship. But I think therapy can be helpful to anyone, I don't think placing timelines is helpful or necessary. But I don't think a couple is likely to consider that option unless it's a committed long-term relationship.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • zawackirz's picture
    zawackirz
    2

    I would leave couples counseling for couples or partners who are married or committed to each other. If there were problems early on in a relationship I guess it wouldn't be a keeper in my book.

    to each their own though.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • jillerin457's picture
    jillerin457
    3

    I think it would really weird most people out if the person they had been dating for a month suggested couples counseling. That's a bit soon for most people. Maybe after 6-9 months, it would be okay if you're in a fairly serious, fast-paced relationship, though.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • samherlihy's picture
    samherlihy
    4

    Oooh...this post made me feel really defensive at first. But let me tell you what I think, now that I've calmed down. I used to think the same thing - that if you can't get it together while dating for a couple of years then move on. But, my current boyfriend and I started going a year and a half in. We really want(ed) the realtionship to work and were just really frustrated with ineptitude when it came to communicating well with one another. Also, we both bring issues from parents and past relationships that make it hard to trust, etc. I go to individual therapy and so does he. We go together (to a third! i know, this sounds a little insane) twice a month. I think it even helps me more individually that my own private therapist...it really makes you face stuff when someone's calling you out on your sh*t. Keeps you honest. I know people think it's silly (I really don't tell anybody that we go b/c of the stigma...)but if you are committed and open to making changes--not just for the relationship but for yourself--AND you have a therapist who is worth their salt, it can be really life-changing. off soapbox Smiling

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    5

    I think it's completely up to the couple if they want to go to therapy. If you think that the relationship is worth it and both of you are willing to go to therapy than go for it. I definitely think that all married couples and committed couples need to go to therapy before quitting the marriage especially if kid's are involved.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Sporky's picture
    Sporky
    6

    I wouldn't consider it unless we were married or planning on it. I would just break up otherwise.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • tomatoshirt's picture
    tomatoshirt
    7

    I think counseling is for married people or married-like relationships. I mean counseling is not cheap, i could use that money to buy myself something nice hehehe....

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • cjmara805's picture
    cjmara805
    9

    My ex boyfriend wanted us to go through couple's counseling but he couldn't understand that I didn't want to go because I no longer wanted to be with him. Also, in my case, I didn't think it was worth it. It only works for couples where both parties are committed to making it work, and I'd say almost always best for couples who are already married or in some sort of similar partnership.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • emalove's picture
    emalove
    10

    I think it might help if the couple knows they want to try to make things work.

    But I tend to agree, Dear, that if you're having a lot of problems in your relationship, and you haven't yet committed to marriage, it's probably not meant to be. It just takes some people longer to realize this.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • glamorouswink's picture
    glamorouswink
    11

    that guy looks like brody jenner. Back to the question i feel like I am able to talk this out with him and dont need the 'moderator' in the room.

    22 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • omlove's picture
    omlove
    12

    I think if you are in a committed relation of more 6-9 months and both parties are genuinely committed there's nothing wrong with counselling.

    22 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • plasticapple's picture
    plasticapple
    13

    For me, if I was in a relationship that required counseling, I'd just call it quits. I mean, what's the point in prolonging a relationship that isn't working? It doesn't make sense to me.

    Now, if you're married, in a domestic partnership or there are children involved that's different.

    21 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • caroline9's picture
    caroline9
    14

    Yes, I think that therapy is viable for any couple that wants to make it work.
    =====================================================
    caroline9
    christian drug rehab

    christian drug rehab

    21 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment

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