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Dear Poll: Do You Find It Harder to Make Friends With Men or Women?

Mon, 06/09/2008 - 11:00am by DearSugar
1,110 Views - 49 comments

Ever since I abandoned the tomboy ways of my youth, I’ve always been the type of woman to be surrounded by more female friends than male. However, in recent years I’ve noticed that making new girlfriends seems close to impossible, while my circle of guy friends has continued to expand. Though my closest friends will always be women, I find it considerably easier to make male acquaintances. What about you?

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49 Comments Add a Comment

  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    1

    I really find it much easier to get along with guys.
    They don't have that "wall" built up from jelously, envy, and judging.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • skigurl's picture
    skigurl
    2

    i also find that its easier to assume a guy would want you to text or call them to hang out or keep in touch and meet up on weekends, but with girls, they may think you're weird if you began to keep in touch the way acquaintances doit's not that you'd want to date every guy you meet, but most guys would be happy to give a girl their number and be friendly. girls are mean and always think other girls have ulterior motives

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • simplyfab87's picture
    simplyfab87
    3

    I've always had mostly guy friends, I find it hard to connect with women. Guys are much more open

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • alliallialli's picture
    alliallialli
    4

    I agree with everything above. With girls, I find that there tends to be this underlying issue of outdoing one another. Most of my friends are guys for that reason.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • kiwitwist's picture
    kiwitwist
    5

    I am confused by your question... it seems mixed up to me.

    I find it hard to make friends with girls, they are catty and protective of their territory, LOL! I can get along great with guys.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • snowbunny11's picture
    snowbunny11
    6

    Seriously, every time a woman says, "I just have problems making friends with women," I assume she's a drama queen. I don't really have problems making friends with either, or I guess you could say I have the same difficulty with both genders.

    The one thing with men...truly they often don't care to be your friend if there isn't any potential for romance. When some of them find out I have a fiance, they become downright rude. Most of my male friends I've had are from high school, are also friends with my fiance, or are my friends' boyfriends' friends. Also, I tend not to keep in touch as much over a long period of time with male friends.

    The nice thing about guys is that I rarely fight with my male friends. About half of my female friends I've never had a problem with, but some of them I have. Men, not so much.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Greentea1203's picture
    Greentea1203
    8

    I can't stand women, minus a few that I'm great friends with. They're all jealous and judgmental and I give up trying to be friends with them

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • snarkypants's picture
    snarkypants
    9

    i don't get the poll question. but i relate much more to guys than girls. don't love all the pettiness some girls do

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • almost famous's picture
    almost famous
    10

    I don't have a hard time making friends. I'm a people magnet. It's just keeping them...lol

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • juicylove's picture
    juicylove
    11

    i think guys in general are easier to get along with, but like someone said above if they find out theres no "potential" for anything they become rude suddenly or just stop talking.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • avettafawna's picture
    avettafawna
    12

    I've never had a problem making friends with women, except for the kind of women who claim that they "don't have female friends" or that "women are all catty back stabbers" or any other variation of that story.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • MissChita's picture
    MissChita
    13

    That's a hard question to answer because it all depends on the person and their attitude in general. I get along well with a lot of women, but I find that a lot of them (women) can be catty and very jealous, and sometimes the 'friendship' will not last. But not all women are like that because my closest friends are women. As far as men, its probably easier to get along with them in the sense that they arent as catty or jealous (unless they are 'woman like' lol) but most guys I meet are not just friends, they are usally 'bed buddies' (speaking from the past)

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • buttafli2112's picture
    buttafli2112
    14

    its the opposite for me, i make girlfriends so much more easily than i do guyfriends...i find it hard to trust guys, seeing as most of them (my age) only turn out to be attracted to me or my friends..not in a cocky way or anything at all, ive just been proven wrong about having true guy FRIENds..guys who i considered close ended up admitting to me later on they wanted to hookup..i dont know if im explaining it right..anyways, my true friends i just click with and became instant friends with..when i find people like that not the same type thing happens

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • myladybloom's picture
    myladybloom
    15

    Well, the thing is, I'm really shy. Also, I go to an women's college AND I commute. So there's little chance for me to meet guys, and when I'm at school, i usually find it hard to connect with other girls.
    But I do think I get along with girls and guys equally. I just don't have a big circle of friends, period.

    I think it also has to do with the fact that when I was in grade school, I was often teased mercilessly, especially by members of my own gender. So, there you go.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • luckyme's picture
    luckyme
    16

    Amen Snowbunny! While I find it easier to be friends with men initially, they tend to run the other direction when they find out I'm married. It's kind of annoying, actually. Or, I feel like some of them stick around just in case something were to happen in my relationship, or if i was the cheating type (which I'm not).

    There are a few friends that did stick it out even though they had no chance with me. And the majority of them also became friends with my husband.

    Anyway, to answer the question, I tend to befriend men easier, but most of my longest lasting friendships are with females.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • bellaressa's picture
    bellaressa
    17

    I don't have a problem making friends with either. snowbunny11 --I actually agree with you, I hear a lot of women that say this and they blame others instead of looking within. Men can be just as jealous and catty as any woman - they gossip just like women do.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • emalove's picture
    emalove
    18

    I don't really find either to be difficult, but I definitely have more female friends. I'm a girly-girl and just relate to females a lot more. I used to have mostly guy friends in high school and college, but that has changed as I've gotten older.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • LaBelleDame's picture
    LaBelleDame
    19

    I think that girls tend to be a whole lot more dramatic than guys, which leads to greater potential conflict. Guys are also more likely to let things go, while girls cling and overanalyze. I make friends pretty easily, but I find that I keep my guys a lot better.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • mtothawhat's picture
    mtothawhat
    20

    Like a few other people have already said, I make friends easily with both genders but tend to have a lot more guy friends. My best friend is a guy and we're like brother and sister. For some reason I just feel more relaxed with them and they make it easier to talk about anything with. I sometimes feel like I'd be judged more with girls..and feel that anything I say could be misconstrued within 2 seconds.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • wadewifey3's picture
    wadewifey3
    21

    Its easier for my to talk to a girl than a guy, but I love the guy friends I have. Their cool!

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Sporky's picture
    Sporky
    24

    I don't have a problem making friend with either, but the male ones tend to stay friends more so than the women for some reason.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • almost famous's picture
    almost famous
    25

    Male friends aren't that much of a problem, usless he's one of those "I'm too fabulous to hang with women" man.

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • lemuse20's picture
    lemuse20
    26

    Neither, they're both equal for me... because first I have determine whether or not the guy is really cool with being "just friends", and for the girl I have to determine if she "knows" that we're on the same team here - no need to compete or be jealous, but only to build each other up!

    17 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • i am awesomeness's picture
    i am awesomeness
    27

    Once I get over the shyness of talking to a cute guy, I find that they're often really nice friends to have. At my college dorm, a lot of the girls weren't really my type of friends. They seemed like the slutty type or our personalities just didn't mesh well, and they could be awfully catty and mean to me. The guys were reliable--always friendly and there to listen.

    I generally think it's harder for me to make friends with women because I can be very judgmental as much as I try not to be. If I see a girl dressed or acting a certain way, I automatically think she's low-class and oftentimes she really is. I suppose it's just the girls that I'm around, but I think they're harder to make friends with. And don't get me wrong, I mostly have female friends, but girls besides my friends tend to drive me up the wall and I can't stand their drama and nastiness.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Sugarblonde's picture
    Sugarblonde
    28

    I am with you! Guys definitely just are more open to talking and getting to know. Girls are so close-minded and judgemental (especially at first!) It is sad that we do act this way to one another.

    Yet, when I tell my guy friends that I make friends with guys easier.. most of them don't get it. (Gotta love boys.. Smiling )

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    29

    I tend to do well with making friends with both sexes. But the women I choose are a certain type; not your drama queens or gossipy types, so I guess I naturally avoid the troublesome kinds out of experience. Laughing out loud

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • whatthew00t's picture
    whatthew00t
    30

    I live on campus at a college where it is 60% female so I hear a lot of drama and gossip around campus Sticking out tongue. When I moved on campus as a freshman, I expected a lot of my classmates to hang out with each other. Instead, I hardly met other females asides from my suite-mates and my club activities. My female classmates usually kept to their own suite-mates and to other people on their floor. I remember having a discussion with my suite-mates about meeting other people on campus , and one of my suite-mates said, "I'm scared of everybody on campus!" In my head, I'm like, "Ehhh?" LOL
    So it's hard to find guy friends (I've only met them through my club activities and classes). Otherwise, outside of my college, I feel much closer to my guy friends at home because they aren't as judgmental as when it comes to girls. They just want to have fun and joke. I've been like this my entire life till coming to college. Now I'm just learning how to deal with other females!

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • austerity's picture
    austerity
    31

    I make friends easily with both. Both have their own special hazard though; with men, there can be sexual tension (no matter how small), and with girls, there can be jealousy (from their side of course Eye-wink ), but overall I have fun with everybody Smiling

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • KimBurnett's picture
    KimBurnett
    32

    I find it totally ironic that this is being a "social networking site for women", most responses here are talking about not connecting with women.

    Maybe this is why almost no one has signed my guestbook!

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Silverlining10's picture
    Silverlining10
    33

    I still attend college, so the only problem I have is: CLIQUEY-NESS. AHH! Girls here are such b*tches to other girls they don't know, and they act like they're too good to be friends with anyone outside their sorority or childhood friends. I'm assuming girls mature and realize they need to improve their people skills by the time they start working in the real world. Dear lord, I hope!

    However, I also attract good, genuine people (both girls and guys) because I'm honest and a good friend. So, I know I have great gals as friends, and I'm really grateful for that. Guys tend to be less snobby, but some of my closest friends are girls that are absolute gems.

    I believe in quality, not quantity, so I've been satisfied with who I choose to hang out with, and who I initiate friendships with.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    34

    I have a lot more guy friends. They are so much easier and they seem to get my sense of humor more. They appreciate that I can be girly but I can still get down and dirty when I want to and be a tomboy. I'm the little tomboy playing football in a sundress.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • bahar's picture
    bahar
    36

    I don't have trouble making friends with girls but I don't like most of them are mean and stupid, my male friends are nice and intelligent.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • geebers's picture
    geebers
    37

    I agree 100% with avettafawn - I get along with both sexes -the only women I dont click with are those that say that women are all catty and insult their own gender. That does not fly with me. Treat someone how you want to be treated and you will attract the right people.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • sabrinaBee's picture
    sabrinaBee
    39

    i give up trying to be friends with women that come up in my life. i only have very few close ones...many are judgemental and mostly ignore me...maybe jealousy? i don't know... i relate better to guys they are much more open.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • CaterpillarGirl's picture
    CaterpillarGirl
    40

    I have a hard time befriending women, because most of the time i cant stand them! I have a few really close women friends that have been in my life for decades, but thats it.

    I usually find them too silly, immature, or clingy

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • rocketgirl's picture
    rocketgirl
    41

    My best friend is female, but I have far more guy friends than women overall. I think the ratio was 5:1 last time I wrote it out; I work/study in a male-dominated field so it just kinda happens that way.

    17 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • snowbunny11's picture
    snowbunny11
    42

    bahar- yeah I think that's why women aren't good at math and science, they are just too stupid. oookay....

    I hope every woman on here that felt the need to point out that women are "catty, stupid, immature, mean, gossipy clingy, jealous, judgmental, close-minded and protective of their territory," realizes that THEY ARE WOMEN TOO!! I can only assume if you are making these huge generalizations about women it's because as a woman you see these traits in yourself. Which is probably why I've only ever been friends with one woman who "can't ever seem to get along with women, they just don't like me and are so jealous and catty." She is also the only friend I've ever had who tried to sleep with my boyfriend. So yeah, I tend to stay away from people that profess to have these social problems. Its a definite red flag.

    I honestly think women say they have an easier time being friends with men because they think it makes them seem more attractive and cooler. "Guys want to hang out with me even if they aren't boning me (perhaps because they hope they'll bone me someday)!!" Oh yeah, and women are jealous of your amazing good looks. And don't want you sleeping with your boyfriends or something.

    17 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • ESPNgirl's picture
    ESPNgirl
    43

    I am hardcore about sports, and a lot of men are hardcore about sports...

    therefore, I find it is easier to bond with men (although I have met some seriously cool women sports fanatics as well Eye-wink)

    17 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment