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Do Tell: Would You Let a Friend Officiate Your Wedding?

Thu, 06/05/2008 - 7:00am by DearSugar
674 Views - 44 comments

While even the most contemporary weddings can be fairly standard, it’s the personal touches that make a wedding really special. One new trend that I've noticed in many of the weddings I've been to recently is using a friend as the officiator of the ceremony.

At first it seemed strange, but now I happen to love the idea of having someone especially close to the bride and groom standing with them while they make their vows official. While this certainly doesn’t work for all couples, it can be a great way to make a ceremony totally unique if you're willing to try something different. So ladies, do tell, would you let a friend officiate your wedding?

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44 Comments Add a Comment

  • Sporky's picture
    Sporky
    1

    Oh I absolutely would let a friend officiate! In fact, one of our dear friends has offered to do what it takes to become qualified to officiate our wedding, whenever that may be!

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • luckyme's picture
    luckyme
    2

    Can and did! Our very good friend who introduced us was our officiant. It was one of my favorite parts of the wedding. He was very sweet and everyone loved it.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Whiplash's picture
    Whiplash
    4

    Definitely. I think it's a great idea and so unique. Neither my boyfriend nor I are religious at all but I think a justice of the peace is very impersonal.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • kikidawn's picture
    kikidawn
    5

    I've had a friend who volunteered ... problem is I don't want that person doing it. This person is loud, obnoxious, and would probably tell horrible stories. They might have a speech/toast at the reception and I'm afraid of that! This person is a bad drunk and I don't want to serve alcohol b/c of that either! lol I don't know what to do!

    I guess if it was the right friend (and I can only think of one) I would be honored to let them. Smiling

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Lawrah's picture
    Lawrah
    6

    We had my good friend and old college roommate officiate the ceremony. We felt more than comfortable with the situation. My husband didn't feel awkward and things went a lot smoother having her there rather than some random person who knew nothing of our relationship.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • ElizabethRae's picture
    ElizabethRae
    7

    I am really close to both of the priests that officiated at our wedding. So if that counts, then yes. Otherwise no, because I couldn't bear to get married outside the Church!

    I agree with whoever said it is less impersonal than a justice of the peace though.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • onabanana's picture
    onabanana
    8

    My friend is marrying us and it turns out the the fees to get him approved to do this are cheaper than hiring some stranger.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • cat1121's picture
    cat1121
    9

    I have 3 half siblings that are Baha'i and in that culture your family marries you.

    Baha'i cermonies are short and sweet. It has been beautiful to watch my siblings marry each other and it means much more to them than if some random person was pressed into service. When my sister got married last summer, I was her MOH and our brothers officiated the ceremony. All four of our names are on their marriage certificate.

    I am not Baha'i but I love the tradition. I think I would like to be married by one person from his family and one from mine, although I have no idea in his family who would be a good choice. Maybe his brother could do a reading. I haven't gotten that far yet.

    Anyway, I love the idea. You can get some ordained for $5-20.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • cat1121's picture
    cat1121
    10

    I have 3 half siblings that are Baha'i and in that culture your family marries you.

    Baha'i cermonies are short and sweet. It has been beautiful to watch my siblings marry each other and it means much more to them than if some random person was pressed into service. When my sister got married last summer, I was her MOH and our brothers officiated the ceremony. All four of our names are on their marriage certificate.

    I am not Baha'i but I love the tradition. I think I would like to be married by one person from his family and one from mine, although I have no idea in his family who would be a good choice. Maybe his brother could do a reading. I haven't gotten that far yet.

    Anyway, I love the idea. You can get some ordained for $5-20.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • bbkf's picture
    bbkf
    11

    Absolutely. But, my husband is Catholic, so that was a no-go for our wedding.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • fleurfairy's picture
    fleurfairy
    12

    No. I don't think that just because a person gets a paper online telling them they can officiate, that they have the spiritual experience to actually join two people in marriage. That's why priests and rabbis have been used for centuries.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • lawchick's picture
    lawchick
    13

    Can and did! An older family friend. He was great and it was really special!

    He lives in Canada, though. He offered to officiate so he paid for his own plane ticket, but we paid for his hotel room and such.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • thebride2b's picture
    thebride2b
    14

    My fiance has a friend he's known since second grade that just got ordained as a Rabbi last month. It was a no brainer for us to ask him to officiate at our ceremony next summer.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • fcseamstress's picture
    fcseamstress
    15

    I'd like to do this, but my FH wants the family preacher to officiate. Problem is, he said that in December and here it is under 3 months from the wedding and he hasn't talked to him! If he hasn't by the end of the weekend (he knows his deadline...), I'm going to ask my cousin who is going into the priesthood to officiate. It'll be good practice for him, plus since he's not ordained it won't be overly religious. I'd like someone closer to us, but we need a bi-lingual officiant. One of my co-workers gave me a great ceremony book, we'll customize that to us. Colorado makes it easy, you don't have to be ordained to officiate, you can do a marriage of the people (or something like that).

    The co-worker who gave me the ceremony book had her dad officiate, it was VERY touching! I'd have mine, but he's not bi-lingual and his humor would not be appreciated by my FH's family.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • nancita's picture
    nancita
    16

    I totally would. A friend of mine recently officiated the wedding of some friends of ours, and the fact that he could speak realistically and poetically about their relationship made the ceremony very special. He isn't religious but he is very spiritual and very into ceremony, so it worked really well.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • PreppyDot's picture
    PreppyDot
    17

    I have been talking about this for years with my now fiance, about having our mutual best friend officiate at our wedding. I love this idea. No idea if it will actually happen but I think it is a great way to include someone who is really special in your life in a non-traditional manner.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • casasugar's picture
    casasugar
    19

    We're getting married by a mutual friend. We asked her to officiate because she really gets us as a couple, is perhaps the best public speaker and storyteller I've ever met, and is a wonderful writer. She's going to read a poem in Arabic, which is her first language. I'm soooooooo excited that she's marrying us!

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • onabanana's picture
    onabanana
    20

    I don't think spirituality or religion is a necessary component of officiating a wedding ceremony. I think having it be meaningful to the bride and Groom is the most important thing and if their best friend wants to and can do it, then awesome!

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • snarkypants's picture
    snarkypants
    21

    i love weddings that are officiated by a friend. they seem so much more intimate, and they're more fun for the guests too.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • guineapiggin9's picture
    guineapiggin9
    22

    My dad officiated his friend's wedding (i attended) and I thought it was one of the best ceremonies I've been to. It was just so much more personal and interesting. I'd say if you're not a very religious person and you dont want a priest or anything like that, then this is a great idea.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Lyv's picture
    Lyv
    23

    Whenever someone asks me what my wedding we'll be like, I say it will be on the beach and (insert random celebrity) will officiate it. XD But having a friend officiate it sounds like more of a plan!

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • ally14's picture
    ally14
    24

    I think if a close friend officiated the wedding it would be romantic and very sweet. Definetly something I will think about when I will be planning my own wedding.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • ufshutterbabe's picture
    ufshutterbabe
    25

    We did, and it was great. I loved how he delivered the ceremony that we wrote, but I also really like the fact that "that guy" in all our wedding pictures is someone close to us (we're not religious, so any officiant for hire would have been some random person to me)

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • daisylynn329's picture
    daisylynn329
    27

    yes! i think it is a fabulous idea. my brother is actually going to be marrying my fiance and i in august! originally it was going to be both of our siblings but my fiance's sister wasn't into it. in san francisco you can become an officiant at city hall.

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • FitSugar's picture
    FitSugar
    28

    Totally did and it was awesome. She was so stoked to say "And by the authority invested in me, by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

    23 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • girlie871's picture
    girlie871
    30

    I would if it was a close friend of the both of us. I have done it myself as well. When my aunt and her boyfriend got married I performed the cermemony. It was surprisingly a lot of fun and they said they enjoyed it because it made the ceremony more personal.

    23 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • delia's picture
    delia
    31

    We did this! In Massachusetts, you can get anyone solemnized for the day, just to officiate your wedding. Our friend's mother officiated for us; we've spent Thanksgiving with their family for years now (our families aren't local), and I just love her views on love and marriage. It was absolutely wonderful to be married by someone we love.

    23 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • lulita's picture
    lulita
    34

    i wish my brother could officiate my wedding, but he told me he is going to cry like a little girl if he does; because he helped my mom raise me, since my father left us when i was two.

    23 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • missmari's picture
    missmari
    35

    Yep. We had a friend officiate our wedding. We actually just did the legal part at the courthouse but had our friend perform our actual wedding. (He didn't want to actually get certified through the Unitarian church or do anything binding.)

    23 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Oregon chick's picture
    Oregon chick
    36

    I had my older brother, obviously a good friend, officiate our wedding and there is no one else in the world I would of rather had perform the ceremony. It was very meaningful to have someone who loves my husband and I marry us.

    23 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • AKirstin's picture
    AKirstin
    38

    I can't imagine it any other way. We're not religious, and it seems strange and cold to have some random public official doing it. It was wonderful having someone who was our close friend during the blossoming of our relationship seal the deal. Smiling

    23 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • JaimeLeah526's picture
    JaimeLeah526
    39

    Oh Hell NO! Imagine if they messed up or you didn't like the job they did. It would ruin your friendship and your wedding. At least if the officiant screws up it's not going to ruin friendships.

    23 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Silverlining10's picture
    Silverlining10
    40

    If a friend wanted, and I trusted them, I would have no reason to object. I would never ask anyone, though. I just think it's less hassle to have a judge or someone else do it.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • bootsy wilson's picture
    bootsy wilson
    41

    I asked my friend Katie and she is totally down with it. It will make the wedding that much cooler to have someone we know perform the ceremony.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • skigurl's picture
    skigurl
    42

    i have never known anyone else to do this other than JOEY FROM FRIENDS! i can't believe no one mentioned that

    23 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • skigurl's picture
    skigurl
    43

    i have never known anyone else to do this other than JOEY FROM FRIENDS! i can't believe no one mentioned that

    23 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Blackwood's picture
    Blackwood
    44

    This reminds me of bam's unholy union.

    Yes, it would be cool and maybe it'd feel more familiar and dynamic and less stuffy.

    I'd do it.

    19 weeks 4 hours ago Report Comment

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