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Do Tell: How Do You Initiate Conversations With Men?

Sat, 05/17/2008 - 10:27am by DearSugar
1,775 Views - 16 comments

This past week I threw out a few suggestions for starting a conversation in a group of women, and some of you mentioned that it’s actually easier to start a convo with men. This makes a lot of sense to me since women seem to be more cautious than men when it comes to initiating any kind of relationship — even on an acquaintance level — but still, I have friends who perpetually avoid initiating a conversation with guys. So help them out and do tell: What do you do or say to get the conversation going with a man?

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16 Comments Add a Comment

  • Lyv's picture
    Lyv
    1

    "How 'bout those Mets, huh?" Um. I don't know. I'm the worst conversation starter. And how's talking to men easier? Whoever says that must hang out with some seriously bxtchy women, cause with most girls you can just make small talk about something trivial and come across as nice & polite. When you talk to boys you have to come up with funnier or smarter things to say. Unless you're really cuter than he is. Then you can just comfortably babble about the weather.

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    2

    I'm off the market now, but if something was going on - someone being funny or stupid or singing or whatever, I'd just start talking to whoever was near me, male or female. I got a few dates chatting with guys on the subway platform, and a few I met at the park. The worst that ever happened was someone looking at me like 'whatever', but that was rare.

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • sarah_bellum's picture
    sarah_bellum
    3

    "Guess what color my cervical fluid is?"

    Sorry. I'll stop referencing those posts now. It's out of my system, I swear.

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • lickety split's picture
    lickety split
    4

    when i was single i just talked as if i was with a friend, observing things. it worked in san diego NOT in texas. i think it depends on the area you're in. i "spoke the language" in san diego so if i commented on something like "wow, this is the shortest line i've ever seen here" at lunch spot it was more natural.

    it was eaiser when the man was alone and i was alone (even if just because the friend stepped away). and opened ended, so they didn't have to respond but could if they wanted to.

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • juicylove's picture
    juicylove
    5

    lmao sarah_bellum, the fluid comments work every time
    it would be funny to see someones reaction if anyone actually said that..

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • k squared's picture
    k squared
    6

    Yeah, actually, stuff like that would surely get guys' attention. Especially with guys my age, because they're weird and perverted like that. Because I still go to school, I kind of have to talk to guys, you know. Mostly we talk about school and how the teachers suck, or about the last episode of the Office or exams or whatever.

    I talk a lot with guys anyway: if you just find a simple topic that is somewhat broad or relatable then you're fine. Or just ask them a question and then keep the conversation going.

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • tee0206's picture
    tee0206
    7

    I don't know. It was really easy when I was in college. I'd purposely sit near the cute guys and then say something about the class or the professor. Nowadays, I usually only strike up conversations if I'm at a networking event or if I see a guy wearing something bearing the name of my alma mater.

    26 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • hmcmcd's picture
    hmcmcd
    8

    I preder talking to women over men anyday. I am in a relationship but I often have to find ways to strike up conversation with men b/c I am in sales. The problem is that even at a networking event where everybody there is working, the guys still think you are hitting on them when you try to start up a conversation. At least with women they know you are just networking and you either build a relationship or not.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • Tullia's picture
    Tullia
    9

    hmcmcd, I know! Whenever I try to start up a conversation with men, they just think im hitting on them. Truth is, I'm just trying to make new friends here, so I wish they'd stop being paraoid.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • gossipqueen's picture
    gossipqueen
    10

    I act like a smart ass...make a joke about it or something else...hopefully get a laugh..if not come right out as a nerd...cue generic conversation...what's up, seen moves lately, etc....cue more smartassness...get more laughs...go for dinner.

    but I guess it all depends on personality.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • gossipqueen's picture
    gossipqueen
    11

    OOh...when I get the vibe they think I'm hitting on them...IMMEDIATELY, I mention my bf...it works all the time...guys immediately relax and are more themselves.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • MindayH's picture
    MindayH
    12

    When I am unsure of what to do in social situations, I think about what sales class would say. In this case, many things apply. But I would go with the fact that most people enjoy talking. about themselves. So go with a question, about what they are wearing, drinking, cheering for, anything. The other thing that makes people feel great, is feeling like they are helpful. So ask for help, directions, have they seen someone. Seems basic, but it works for getting a conversation started.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    13

    I agree with MindayH. Asking a simple question in a sincere way about the other person is the best way to break the ice. It works.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • missdiorluxe's picture
    missdiorluxe
    14

    I agree, questions are a great start!
    I find that guys like to talk about movies, and of course, cars.

    26 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • BryPouncy's picture
    BryPouncy
    15

    o.O There's a technique to initiate conversations with men.
    I've always hung around guys so I guess I wouldn't know. It just comes natural for me to talk to the men-species. But if I'd have to pick something to talk about - video games

    14 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • paramita's picture
    paramita
    16

    Long way back in high school, I used to have a crush on this guy. I didn't really know him (we were in different class) but a couple of days back he just appeared on a TV quiz show. So I just casually strike up a conversation of "You were in this quiz show a while ago, weren't you?". The conversation turns out great after that Eye-wink. I end up not dating him but we became friends though Smiling.

    14 weeks 10 hours ago Report Comment

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