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What Was the Most Trivial Part of Your 20s?

Fri, 05/02/2008 - 9:00am by DearSugar
1,141 Views - 51 comments

The ladies from Sex and the City were on Oprah yesterday and while their visit was mainly all about the movie, they touched upon some other hot topics as well, age being one of them. All the women, including Oprah herself, were in agreement when saying their 20s were overrated, in fact Kristen Davis went so far to say that she was "kind of unhappy" in her 20s and she didn't know who she was. As someone that's about to be 30 myself, (gasp!!) I'm intrigued to see what all the hype's about. I get that your 20s is a confusing time, a time of self-discovery and trial and error, but I've got to be honest, my 20s weren't all that bad! Of course, I had my fair share of ups and downs, but all in all, I can't complain. So to all you 30-plus women out there, what was the most trivial time in your 20s? Are you with the SATC's girls — were your 20s not all that great in comparison to where you are now?

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51 Comments Add a Comment

  • CaligirlNYC's picture
    CaligirlNYC
    2

    Not quite 30 yet, but 25+ has been much better than 20-25. Those were fun years but most of it was going out to parties and trial-and-error relationships. Now I feel like I'm starting to know what I really want (not just what I grew up thinking I wanted).

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • clareberrys's picture
    clareberrys
    3

    I'm just in my 20s (21 almost 22) and I am loving it so far! Life is pretty damn good right now!

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • RobinSparkles's picture
    RobinSparkles
    4

    I'm only in my mid-twenties (25) but I can see how they say that as they look back the 20's were overrated. Even in just the past few years I feel like I've grown up and changed a lot and really come into myself more, and I can see how that would only continue and get better. I feel like I'm in a much better place now than I was a few years ago. I agree with Caligirl in that you start to know more about what you want, as opposed to what you're "supposed" to want, or what you thought you'd want.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • RobinSparkles's picture
    RobinSparkles
    5

    Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of fun so far, but the 20's are a very transitional time, and that can be difficult to accept and deal with at times.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • duck duck goose's picture
    duck duck goose
    6

    I'm currently thirty, but cannot isolate an aspect of the past decade that was wasted, or that I can trivialize as insignificant -- other than a smattering of mistakes or missed opportunities, but those are relevant to any age, not even slightly specific only to a twenty-something existence.

    I get what they're saying, but I cannot relate.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • zombielove's picture
    zombielove
    7

    i started my 20's a year ago Laughing out loud

    turned 21 in January and so far life is grand.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • AKirstin's picture
    AKirstin
    8

    I turn 30 in December and I can't wait. There were definitely aspects of being in my 20's that were good- I got married, had my daughter (now six), and went to some amazing parties. But everyone (and I mean *everyone*) I know who has already gone through them says your 30's are soooo much better. All the cons of being so young ring absolutely true for me, and for all my friends as well. 30s > 20s.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • imLissy's picture
    imLissy
    9

    well this is good news. Mostly you hear from people that life gets worse as you get older. Life keeps getting better for me, so I had a feeling that was BS. How depressing would that be? HS the best years of your life? I think not.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • kikidawn's picture
    kikidawn
    10

    I agree imLissy ... high school = best years ... so not true! My mom used to tell me that high school *is not* the best time of your life like everyone tries to say.

    I'm just now 21 so no great wisdom to impart.
    It's so weird to realize that I'm "in my 20s" now!!

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • citizenkane's picture
    citizenkane
    11

    I am 28 and I agree with the above posts that the latter half of my 20s have certainly been better than the first! I am SO excited to get into my 30s and get past this phase.

    On a little off the subject...I think the thing that makes our 30s so much better now than...say, 15 years ago, is the fact that women are waiting until a little later in life to get married, have children, etc. I am glad that at 28, I haven't done either. It gave me chance to really live out my young, single life, and make those mistakes that everyone NEEDS to make to learn the important lessons.... Of course, this route may not be for everyone. But I'm glad that society doesn't look down on being 28 and single the way it used to. And I think Sex and the City had alot to do with that!!

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Kristinh1012's picture
    Kristinh1012
    12

    I'm going to be 30 this year. I can't say I didn't like my 20's but they certainly weren't a big deal to me. I don't even really feel like I age.....just mature and over the years I feel that I have become so much of a better person. I've actually realized what in life is important and what isn't.

    I look forward to my 30's mainly because I feel like my life is more stable now and I can enjoy my life more since I know who I am and where I'm at in life.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • BeachBarbie's picture
    BeachBarbie
    13

    This reminds me of a time a bunch of us were on the beach talking. It was half guys and half girls. We also ranged in age from 22 to 56. We were asking each other...if you could go back to your 20's right now, would you do it? I found it interesting that all the women said no way, and all the guys answered, yes. Oh, the people in their 20's didn't answer because, it didn't apply to them. (Just thought I would share.)

    Btw., I loved my high school years, and my 20's. It honestly just keeps getting better. Smiling

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • AVA MARiE's picture
    AVA MARiE
    14

    I am only 21, but in my life, I have progressed extremely far, so I do not have the mentality or the life of a 21 yr old. I am only in my 20's, and while it is all fine and dandy, I don't see anything spectacular about being in your early 20's -- just like I don't see anything spectacular about being in high school or in your 30's. There are trivial parts of every phase in your life, and I think a lot of people point out the 20's as being the worst because a lot of people were partying too much, having sex with and dating only scumbags or pining over someone they couldn't have and not being able to suck it up and move on. A lot of people were struggling for money, unmarried, the list goes on, and now that they are more secure and in their 30s means that OBVIOUSLY it has to be much better. I am sure I will look back on my 20s when I am say, 35 and say that being 35 is better? Why? I will have the things that I want, a husband, children, and a steady life (more than likely). Would I want to go back to the time when I didn't have those things? Of course not. Just like you could not pay me to go back and re-live my days in high school.

    Anyhow, I have a very stable life. My fiance and I have a very very good amount of money, we have our own apt, pay all of our bils, and hey, we're getting married. Life is great. I think everyone's 20's are different depending on the experiences they have had. I am not, and probably will never be a struggling 20-something. I am not soured on my 20's just yet.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Greentea1203's picture
    Greentea1203
    15

    Once I turned 26 I started to finally realize who I was...so I'm thinking the late 20s early 30s will be better as I'm definitely more comfortable with myself.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Sydney C's picture
    Sydney C
    16

    Hmm...this is a tough question. I have done very well for myself, I feel, for being a never-married, no children woman of 27. However, this is definitely not the life that I saw for myself when I was younger (HS and college). My early 20s definitely had its ups and downs, but I am sort of scared to get older - everyday I look in the mirror and see the signs - not a welcomed friend! But as they say, age is just a number, so I don't really see 30 being too different than say 29.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • avettafawna's picture
    avettafawna
    17

    I'm 28, and my 20s have been pretty rough. Nothing super bad, but a lot of instability. I've moved five times in five years, seen most of my best girlfriends come and go (moved away) and dated mostly bone-headed losers who brought more misery than happiness into my life. I'm just now starting to get settled in my career, and I also feel like this is the first time in my life that I know what I'm really looking for in a relationship.

    So yea, I definately understand what they mean.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • duck duck goose's picture
    duck duck goose
    18

    citizenkane wrote:

    "It gave me chance to. . .make those mistakes that everyone NEEDS to make to learn the important lessons."

    Not everyone needs to make those mistakes in order to reach full maturity, or to learn "the important lessons."

    Some people are naturally better able to conceptualize the fallout from a potential mistake, and are able to avoid all of the suffering by making a better choice; they are able to learn the lesson and comprehend its particulars without personally struggling through all of the mess.

    Some people are very observant and thoughtful. They may easily learn many things and better themselves by gleaning wisdom from other people's mistakes.

    And then there are some mistakes that should never be actualized, if they can be avoided. This variety of mistake is so detrimental to people and quality of life that no person is ever better off for having endured it.

    There is no precise type of mistake that is necessary for growth, but humanity is flawed and so mistakes are a ubiquitous component of life.

    Mistakes do not create a better, more developed person. It is the capacity to learn from our mistakes (as well as the mistakes of others) that improves us and our willingness to change that edifies us.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • winniecooper's picture
    winniecooper
    19

    It's all very simple to me: In your 20's, you have to establish your life. In your 30's, you can actually start living it!

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Kimpossible's picture
    Kimpossible
    20

    My early 20's were awful and it was all my fault. I married a man who turned out to be abusive, stayed in that marriage for 4.5 years. My spirit was completely obliterated. I definitely didn't know who I was or what I was worth or anything. My 30's were better because I was with a great man (my hubby), but most importantly I was starting to get back on track in healing my spirit. But I'm 40 now and I can tell you that so for this is the best damn time of my life and I only forsee it getting better!!!

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • BlueKitten's picture
    BlueKitten
    21

    Duck Duck Goose, I completely agree with you. Have I changed and grown up in my '20s? Absolutely. Have I made a lot of really terrible decisions? No way.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • BlueKitten's picture
    BlueKitten
    22

    Duck Duck Goose, I completely agree with you. Have I changed and grown up in my '20s? Absolutely. Have I made a lot of really terrible decisions? No way.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Vsugar's picture
    Vsugar
    23

    Ok, all you babies - I seem to be the elder stateswoman here at all of 31, and let me tell you, for ME, the thirties are proving to be WAAAAAAYYYYY better than my 20's!

    I definitely sowed some oats in my 20's, and they were really exciting, but now I know what I like, I know what I don't like, I know how to ask for what I want and what I deserve, and I know how to choose good people to include in my life.

    In my 20's I had a lot of frenemies. And I don't anymore.

    I still know how to to party, but now I know how I LIKE to party, and I have way more fun. I love myself more, I don't wonder where I am going, and I don't question my decisions. I have really grown up a lot, and I love it.

    And I feel sexy for the first time in my life. Not because I wasn't before, but because I really know myself now, and the person I've found is SEXXAAAYYY!!!! Lovin' the 30's.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Lambsauce's picture
    Lambsauce
    24

    Ok, as someone who won't even be experiencing her twenties for nearly an entire year yet, I shouldn't be posting, but just wanted to say that I completely agree with duck duck goose. Couldn't have said it better myself. Smiling

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Sassy_1's picture
    Sassy_1
    25

    As the almost 33 year old "matron" of the group, I have to agree that, at least for me, my 30s have been much more fulfilling than my 20s, especially the first half of my 20s. I think that, regardless of your education or social situation, your 20s are a time of huge transitions, college, career, relationships, etc., and that you spend a lot of time, whether you realize it or not, figuing out who you really are. I had a lot of fun doing that, but life also seemed to be a roller coaster most of the time.

    Now that I am in my 30s, things seem much more even. I am established in my career, have a core group of friends that I know I can count on, am in a much more solid financial situation. Now I feel like I can focus on things that mean a lot to me and can be more secure and confident in myself. Don't get me wrong, I still stress about some of the other stuff sometimes, but I am much better equiped to deal than I was 10 years ago!

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • emalove's picture
    emalove
    26

    I'm 31, so I can definitely comment on this...

    My 20s were a mix of good and bad. I wouldn't use the word "overrated", but it was definitely a time of confusion and uncertainty. I made a lot of crappy decisions, but I also did some great stuff too, like graduate college, advance my degree, and get an amazing job. I also met my husband when I was 28. But I agree with Kristin Davis when she said that she wasn't all that happy in her 20s and that she wasn't sure who she was. I feel exactly the same way. I always felt like something was "missing" and I just wasn't sure what I wanted until my very late 20s. Almost 30.

    I'm not too far into my 30s, so I don't know how they'll be yet, but so far, I'm SO happy with my life--I'm married, I have a career, a nice place to live, I still have close contact with my fam and best friends, I'm ready to start a family, all that good stuff. I feel like I'm on the right track now. And I don't question myself and every decision that I make like I would have when I was in my 20s. I don't have to ask everyone for advice on what to do about this or that. I just kind of KNOW now what the right thing for me is at this point in my life. I know who I am, I know what I want, I know what I need.

    I thought my 30s would be horrible. I even had a meltdown when I turned 30. But so far, I've been pleasantly surprised. I'm much happier than I've ever been.

    8 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • lickety split's picture
    lickety split
    27

    wow, my 20's rocked. nothing i'd want to miss. those teen years however, no do over for those sucky times.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • j2e1n9's picture
    j2e1n9
    28

    My 20s have been a freaking blast so far (28)!

    I have done some pretty hilarious crazy random off the wall sh*t and quite frankly, I am surprised that I am still here!

    But I am glad to be, and I am glad I have toned it down quite a bit in the past couple years.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    29

    Maybe I was a late bloomer, but I was lost in my 20s; not sure about my career, definitely not sure of myself in relationships. I find this getting older and wiser business very true; becoming more confident with myself with each passing year and loving that feeling. I definitely wouldn't go back to my 20s for all the tea in China.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Ruthiroo's picture
    Ruthiroo
    30

    Completely believe that it just keeps geeting better and totally agree with Kimpossible's comments.

    For me the 20's decade is like being a mother and raising your first child. Everything is a learning curve and stuff just SEEMS to be a much bigger deal. The 30's and 40's are like being the experienced mom raising the 3rd or 4th kid. You just don't worry about things so much and can relax and enjoy more.

    Okay, kinda a weird analogy, but just trying to say that the older I get the more confidence I have in myself and who I am and the more I can kick back and just really enjoy my life w/o worrying so much.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • pink_magnetism's picture
    pink_magnetism
    31

    I'm still in my 20's.

    I don't know if any decade is necessarily better or worse. Of course you might look back and think you life is better now, it would be sucky if you thought the happiest times were behind you!

    About a week or so ago, I found this notebook I had for my last year of school, where I wrote down all the random things that would happen since it was a time I would never get back. 7 years later, that 17 year old seems silly and I feel that I have grown up from being that person, however, when I actually was 17, all those moments seemed fun and dramatic and important. It was being 17, which was fun when I was 17, but now I am 24 and I like my life now and wouldn't want to be 17 again.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Silverlining10's picture
    Silverlining10
    32

    I'm not 30, but there is one FABULOUS thing about being 20: GREAT METABOLISM. I know for a fact men and women's metabolisms slow down around 30, so twenties is the time to splurge on food and still feel great days later.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Bisque's picture
    Bisque
    33

    Just turned 21 a month ago, I'm waiting to see how it's gonna turn out. Smiling

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • tlsgirl's picture
    tlsgirl
    34

    The stupid relationship I stayed in for the first couple years of my twenty. 25-30 has been so much better so far.

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Laughing4life's picture
    Laughing4life
    35

    I'm only 22 and I can definitely say the 20s is a time for learning, enjoying being young, exploring your options, still pursuing education (doing my masters right now) and still having time to goof off before I have to get serious about life haha!

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • saranightly's picture
    saranightly
    36

    I'm still in my 20's (will be 25 this year) but I can say that life keeps getting better each year. 3 and 4 years ago I was confused about relationships and life and what I wanted, and now I'm on the right track. I can see how people say that 30s are the best!

    8 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    37

    I'm with those who say that life keeps getting better.

    For me, my 20's were a tumultous time -- both personally and professionally. I had a quarter-life crises. I was on a first-class flight heading where I didn't want to go, and with a lot of difficulty and mixed feelings, got off the flight.

    But you know what? I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. I learned a lot of lessons about myself -- again, personally and professionally. I learned some lessons by observing those around me, and by my own trial-and-error.

    Right now, I'm experiencing my 30's, and I much more happier and content. I know who I am, and I like who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin. Now I'm thriving. (In my 20's, I was confused and conflicted. However, it was a valuable experience. It got me to where I am now.)

    8 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • julibul's picture
    julibul
    38

    Let me just say that I'm 20.5 and I hate it so far. I absolutely would love to return to a time when I was, say, 14. I loved high school compared to college. I just would rather be a kid again. I've never been in a real relationship, never really been kissed, don't drink (and so rarely go out to parties because college kids NEED alcohol to survive it seems), don't smoke, don't do anything. I have been spending my college years working working working to get good grades and figure out my life. I don't feel ready to grow up.

    8 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • BeautiJunki's picture
    BeautiJunki
    39

    Yes silverlining it slows down, LOL Smiling but not too bad. I just make meals with ground turkey and eat a lot more seafood. it's not too bad. I also had a melt down right before I turned 30 as a friend o mine said if I wasn't married by 30 that guys would start to wonder if I was damaged goods (we are the same age and he's a he)he was joking but it definitely fed into the oh sh!t I'm gonna be thirty bs. Now in my early 30's I love it. Now married (was engaged at time of rude comment) and enjoying the honeymoon no baby yet period. So have fun and get it all out of your system and don't be too tied down to anything. It's better to live it a little heartbreak rather than years of regret.

    8 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • else411's picture
    else411
    41

    I enjoyed my late 20s more than the early 20s. Better job/money & life experiences. 30s are more about solidifying who I am/want to be and not being afaird to take chances.

    8 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Koko42's picture
    Koko42
    42

    I agree with most of the 20 somethings on here. I just hit 25 and am loving my life right now. I think the past 5 years was a bit of a blur with college, relationship ups and downs but within the past couple of years I have really grown and found out who I am. I am enjoying every single step of being in my 20s. I am sure that when I look back at this time years from now I will say the same thing. When I turned 25, I came up with this m