I did it!
And it was worth it!
I feel sooooo much better now having people around me that actally CARE for me and LOVE me!

Quite a few times but I'm ashamed that I didn't handle any of them too well. I kinda fell apart and I turned our mutual friends against her. I was also a real b*tch about it. I hold grudges really bad.

My friend in middle school "broke up" with me, but I had no idea anyone else referred to it as that! I've always just laughed it off because it was so ridiculous the way she called me up and actually broke our friendship off. I cried, she told me it was okay, and then the next day I realized what a horrible thing that is to do to a friend so I moved on. Anyways...

As an adult, I can see how it would be a little more traumatic if there was a break. I depend on my good friends almost as much as I depend on my boyfriend. But I prefer to drift away from people naturally, instead of making a definite break. Maybe it's just me, from personal experiences, but it still seems a little "middle school" to do that.

But, I realized she wasn't worth it. So screw her and my life is better without her/them

I have. My situation was a bit f-ed up though. I was living with a girl for a while, we became very close and considered each other best freinds. Then we both got into drugs. We went on that way for about a year...partying non stop, pretty much. Then I woke up one day and realized that she was not the person I liked anymore. I really couldnt not stand the person who she had turned into. And I new that I had to get away from that lifestyle, or I would end up in jail or dead. So, I told her I was not going to do the drugs anymore, and I didnt. It was really hard because I still lived in the house, and they still had parties at the house every weekend, so I pretty much just stayed holed up in my room for a few months until I moved out, and only spoke to her when necassary, now we dont talk at all. But it wasnt really hard, because I sincerly desmised the person who she had become...

despised*

Good for you Allourregrets. That's the kind of situation that's NOT "middle school."

I definitely think you can grow apart from a friend. Especially when you're young and just coming into your own life. Things change, people grow in different ways. I has a best guy friend who I hung out with ALL the time in college. We were each other's confidants. I told him most of the stuff I didn't tell my close girl friends. But then when I moved away for grad school and started really "dating" seeing more than one guy at a time. Going out on dates instead of jumping into a relationship, he totally wigged out. And just about called me a slut. Saying that I changed and totally passing judgement on me. It was horrible.

And the worst thing is that I still kinda miss his friendship--the good parts at least. But I don't know what happened when I moved away. Part of me wonders if he might have had feelings for me and was jealous I was seeing other guys. Maybe that movie "When Harry Met Sally" was right, men and women can never be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.

The "toxic" friend handled the break up herself. I finally put my foot down and told her I couldn't help her. She just took things to the next level telling me that if this is how it is going to happen, then she won't speak to me again. YAY! How easy was that? lol.

I have broken up with a few friends, two in the last year. I honestly don't think they were "toxic" friendships though. One I wish I could fix, but I guess we're both too stubborn to do anything about it (and I think I'm still owed an apology).

I don't focus on those friendships though and they weren't tough to get over because I still have other amazing friends there for me.

I've left friendships during high school because of their immaturity. When I became an adult, I started noticing that some women liked to put up a gimmick. Either way, I end friendships when she's spiteful, phony, too desperate or taking advantage!

How did i feel afterwards? Part of the time I asked myself was it the right decision. Most of the time I was happy as hell! LOL

I had to break up with a friend who was just super duper negative all the time. I've since found out that she has gone around to different people in my department at school (it's a very small department and everyone knows each other) and decided to talk crap on me and others in my core group of friends.

So so so glad she's not around anymore. She was such a Debbie Downer.

I should have done something officially, but I hate confrontation, so I just stopped all contact. Just like that. Both times I have done this, it was a long, drawn out thing beforehand where I was getting slammed constantly for not adhering to their ideals of who I should be... It's better this way. LOL

I haven't out and out broken up with a friend in a long time. But in many cases I think it's a great thing to do, and should be done more often than it is!

I did this just recently and it sucks. I definitely think the best thing to do is to lean on someone you can trust. You have to get all those feelings out of your body and on to the table. I also recommend writing a letter to the other person and even if you never send it it still makes you feel a lot better.

I have distanced myself from some friends for the mentioned reasons. It's not a total break-up as we still see each other some times, but not as much as we used to.

Thankfully, I haven't had to do this in years. The last friend I broke up with was a friend who was stealing from me (we were living together) and she staged a phony robbery and even called the police. I was so pissed b/c I thought someone broke into our place and violiated our space. She was living above her means and was stealing to pay off her debt and maintain her expensive lifestyle. It's amazing what people hide, her mom called me and apologized.

Wow, I don't have any stories as dramatic as the ones in the comments above! I thankfully have only had a couple of "break up" situations, and they were in high school. We never discussed it, we just moved on to hang out with other people...grew apart.

I'm still trying to break-up with people I've been friends with, but it's so hard when finding more people to socialize with becomes harder and harder in NYC. Young professionals are just not mingling like they used to in college.

I did it with two friends, and I am so glad I did.

I think I may have been broken up with once too - a friend from college just stopped returning my calls. I never did figure out what happened, but if she did want me out of her life, I wish she just would have come out and said it. Based on that experience, I made sure that when i broke up with my friends, I let them know why (in what I hoped was a not-mean way).

I do the same thing DCRoamer. When I don't like a female no more, I immediately tell her why. Some women don't take rejection that well though....

the break up i had was sad and hard. the girl was never happy for me and always had to have one step better than me. she got so jealous over somthing (a boy i think) our friendship just ended. she also tryed to get all the guy i dated to want her. glad she is out of my life.

Oh, I've had friend breakups. One of my oldest friends and I just grew apart--I went off to university, she didn't get into any, I'm very with it, and she...not so much. I just got so frustrated with her constantly forgetting things, like to the extent that she forgot our orders and plowed into my portion of food which was put in front of her by mistake. Not that we friend broke up after that, but it didn't help.

The other was last summer, I invited my friend to check out a local band playing at the Wired Monk--she stood me up, sent a text message that said she was in the hospital, and when I phoned the house the next day to ask if there was anything I could do, her mother said, confused, 'No, she's out with friends'--four months later, I ran into her on campus, said, 'WTF?', and found out she blew me off to get high. I haven't spoken to her since. She actually thought I'd forgive her for that...Nope.

I had a friend that i considered the "bestest in the world" till one day she just stop calling. She started chilling with a whole new group of people. and leaving me out of the picture. I am a more down to earth person. And my definition of a fun night is not going to a club and not remembering how i got home. That does not flow with me. Eventually she just eliminated me in total from her life. and she started showing the way she felt on her Myspace page and when she directed emails. However, I didn't let that get to me. I just figured that I didn't need all the negativity from people. So I stop calling her too. I told myself"if she doesn't care about our friendship why should i? even after i tried in multiple occasion to speak to her..

So, good that most of you handle the break-ups with a mature attitude. I have heard stories of women going off and just saying all types of words that you were hidden in them. It's amazing how people hide thing.

I felt amazing after I did it! I was unhappy with the friendship with my friend of 7yrs for weeks and weeks before hand and it was just building and building. Our friendship has always been shaky. My friend stressed me out daily and I couldnt stand it! She was such a bad friend to me, she gossiped about me all the time and said rude things. Basically, she wasnt a real friend to me. So i built up my courage and had a talk with her about everything that was upsetting me. It helps to actually write it down before you do it so you keep your thoughts straight. After i unleashed a sea of feelings I felt great after. Granted we dont talk anymore because she got really offended and denied everything, but I like that I dont have to put up w/ her bs again! YAY!

Yeah Nina I understand.
Good you left her alone.

I haven't "broken up" with a friend since high school. I seem to have learned enough from those experiences to have a better idea of which people are good friends and which people are toxic and never become friends with in the first place.

There was a girl friend who was absolutely the most evil, two-faced, manipulative b*tch I've ever met. She tried to steal my best friend's boyfriend (she finally got sloppy seconds long after my bff dumped him), she'd always morph into a completely different person any time there was a guy around, and she'd do anything for attention. She had delusions that she was going to become a famous actress... yeah, she was *that* girl.

Then there was a guy friend who was only ever around if he needed something. I'd spend hours listening to his stories of woe and being his shoulder to cry on, but god forbid I ever needed someone to vent to. After he brushed me off one too many times, that was it.

I think its important to get toxic people out of your life for your own mental health.

Even if you dont "breakup" with them, but just distance yourself if you can.

I also think that its only natural to lose touch with some friends, and that a lot of our friends turn into acquaintances after awhile.

Think about it, as you grow older you change and your friends are changing too.

And if you guys arent changing along the same lines, then all those things that made you compatible before just arent there anymore.

I think its important to always strive to make new friends and meet as many people as you can to keep it interesting

I've surely cut ties with people, about two yrs ago I had to drop two close friends due to some really harsh and inconsiderate things they had done.

I'm with controlledspin... as the relationship goes sour, I begin distancing myself and ultimately stop all contact.

i've broken up with friends before, but not in a too confrontational way. i just kind of stopped hanging out with them. i do have a couple of friends right now though that i should break up with. i find it difficult though when you're part of a large group of friends.

I've had a few close friend break-ups. It was difficult, as I don't like confrontation, but it was the right decision for me. They were toxic for me. I am better off in the long run without them in my life.

Because of my experience with them, I'm wiser and more selective about making friends. It's similar to dating -- once a person has some experience, and learned some lessons, they know the type of person that's more suitable for them.

We all seem to have this idea that our friendships should last forever so we hang in there, even when we're not enjoying the person anymore.

In my experience, most friendships that don't last just die a natural death, but I did have to shake loose of two people, one who laid a major guilt trip on me. It wasn't easy and I felt awful, but in the end, I stuck to my guns and was much happier without those people in my life.

I’ve broken up with a good friend only once in my life. Other friends have just grown apart but this one was a definitely a “break up”. It was really hard to do and I still miss her at times but I am very glad I finally ended the friendship. It was toxic to me, though I think she is a good person, just not the kind of friend I needed and it hurt me too much to remain pretending that things were okay. She was a ton of fun and when we were together we always had a blast. However, the problem was that she was extremely demanding, needy, and constantly had problems dealing with other people, especially other women. I am a pretty low key person, nothing ever seems to change for me, so I never minded listening to her problems and helping find solutions. I even enjoyed our talks and listening to her because her life was always more dramatic and exciting than mine. I always knew she was a tad self-consumed and pretentious but I also knew that came from insecurity and that she could be very kind and giving.

I knew this about her fairly soon in our friendship so I was not caught unaware that there could eventually be problems but at the time all the good stuff outweighed the bad. For three years we were great friends but this last year I had an extremely difficult year, a ton of stressful, traumatic things happened in my life that prevented me from being nearly as involved in her life as I normally was. My friend was well aware of all my problems and was not unsympathetic to them, she was just very concerned about her own life, mainly that she was engaged and getting married to a great guy in a few months. I was supposed to be her maid of honor and I was excited about that. However, other things in my life had took a lot of my time and effort away from her and her wedding. She just did not understand why I was not as involved as I had previously been. She wasn’t acting any different, I was acting different and she just could not handle my not being as supportive as I normally was nor could she really sympathize with all the stuff that was going on in my life that took me away from spending so much time with her.

In the end it was her total insensitivity to my problems and her outrage that I wasn’t spending enough time with her that made me realize that she was the wrong person to be around while I was already feeling so vulnerable from the other stressors in my life. She rarely wanted to talk about my problems & she loved to obsess about her life and her issues, no matter how inappropriate or insensitive it might be to talk about them at that time. One example would be soon after I quit my job to leave for a year in Europe I found out I couldn’t go and I was left devastated, jobless, and broke. I was under great financial strain and emotional strain because a huge dream of mine was dying and I wound up having to get a job at the mall to support myself until I found another good job. Her solution was to tell me that going to Europe was a bad idea anyway and then proceeded to tell me about her new job where she would be making 3 times as much as my old job and how much money she and her fiancé could now afford to spend on their brand new house and for her upcoming wedding, thousands of which her parents were already paying for. She knew I was broke, came from a poor family who could not help me, and deeply depressed and stressed and it never even occurred to her that finally after 3 years it might be my time to monopolize the conversation. Instead she was mad that I didn’t make enough time to spend with her and her other bridesmaids. I was constantly stressed out when we were together or stressed worrying about telling her that I couldn’t hang out with her. I appreciated that this was an important time in her life but this was crucial time in mine and the fact that she clearly didn’t see or care how much I needed a supportive friend told me that we just viewed our friendship and what it means to be a friend differently. We didn’t fight or anything, I just told her we saw things too differently and we were both needlessly getting hurt. I didn’t want to do it, I would have loved if we could have just grown apart but in her mind if I wasn’t constantly involved in her life then I wasn’t a good friend and I felt that I had been too good of a friend for too long to accept that kind of treatment. I do miss her but I don’t miss the stress or hurt she brought me at all. I wish her nothing but the best but I am glad I have moved on.

I "broke up" with a friend last year. After dealing with her increasinglu negative behavior (under the guise of making sure MY wedding was all I ever dreamed of) for almost a year I finally drew the line when she cancelled on a party with an extremely lame excuse. Other friends had told me for years that she was high-maintenence and they couldn't see why I put up with her. I kept giving her a second chance til I realized that she was never going to grow up. I miss her sometimes but I can see now that her energy was draining (and annoying.) I only wish that I could have sat down and explained to her all of my issues with her behavior, though I honestly don't think it would do any good.

I wish I could have talked out our problems as well but my friend would have just seen it as me being critical of her and her feelings would have been hurt and she wouldn't have changed at all because she really did believe that I was the one who wasn't supportive enough of her. I think it goes hand in hand with people who are high-maintenence, they take and take but they just can't give what you need if you are looking for a deeper friendship. It is sad and heartbreakign when you realize that the friendship has gone from one of the best of your life to a person whose phone calls you want to avoid.

I have totally done this and I do not think it is middle school to tell people hey I do not want you in my life because you are not a good friend. It is just like any relationship and if it doesn't work it is OK to end it!

Friendships are just like any other type of relationship and they can be subject to the same problems you would have with you spouse. You have issues of jealously, loyalty, trust, & love and they make everything more complicated. And in the end you can wind up just as miserable as you would with a partner and no one would advise a woman to stay in a bad relationship with her spouse if it isn't fullfilling to her. It does sound weird to say you "broke up" with a friend but I haven't yet found a better term to describe it and every one does seem to know what you are talking about when you say that.

I have broken up with several friends. One got her act together (drugs and such) and eventually came back to me and said she was sorry and we are cool now. One I havent spoken to since, she betrayed me and I was willing to forgive her if she would just admit she lied- but she wouldnt, she just wanted to act like nothing ever happened. One I had to actually break up with twice, both times bc her bf(the first time around) and then later husband(after she married the guy) couldnt stop meddling in our friendship and picked fights with me and I finally said I didnt want to deal with it anymore.
It was the best thing for me at the time and I dont regret any of them. I miss the friends they used to be, but they changed and werent my friends anymore. I have a feeling that the last friend (or more likely her husband) will contact me again in the future, bc he just cant help himself.

I broke up with one friend at Christmas of my first year of university. She had some personal issues, and refused to do anything that might take attention away from her and her problems. Every time I saw her, she would have a new problem or another crisis in her life, and I finally couldn't deal with it. Yeah, I get that people go through tough times and want their friends there, but when those 'tough times' become how she can't go to class because she was turned down by a guy and how she can't possibly be seen because she's having a bad hair day, I call it quits.