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True Confession — I Don't Want Him to Leave His Wife

Wed, 03/12/2008 - 12:00pm by DearSugar
2,041 Views - 53 comments

I know how much you all love our Sunday Confessional, so my friend at True Confessions is joining forces with me to bring you a midweek confessional! Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive the confessional below.

"My office crush and I have taken things to the next level — we're going away together for a few days. My confession is that, unlike so many affairs I know of, I desperately don't want him to leave his wife for me. As long as we both have spouses we are coming home to, there is no pressure to have this be anything other than fun and games."

Source

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53 Comments Add a Comment

  • almost famous's picture
    almost famous
    2

    Ho go home...LOL
    Just nasty! Will she be reading this? If so, you're nasty!
    Sorry had to just say it.

    36 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    3

    I have no sympathy for any woman who knowingly sleeps with another womans man. Why the F should it even matter what you or even him wants? What about HER, dont you think that if she knew about you, she would leave his ass? just because you dont want him to leave his wife, doesnt make it ok.

    36 weeks 14 hours ago Report Comment
  • Marni7's picture
    Marni7
    4

    oo u sound so selfish!!!
    u dont even love the guy enough to want him all to yourself and stop these games? u want ur cake and eat it too..jeez..if your not completely and madly in love with someone (which still doesnt make it better but at least I would begin to understand) why would u do this?!?!?

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • Greentea1203's picture
    Greentea1203
    6

    UGH!! I think any person that does this is horrible, so I have no sympathy either. Stop it.

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • silly3's picture
    silly3
    8

    Why is your confession that you don't want him to leave his wife? Shouldn't your confession be that you're having an affair and lying to multiple people to take a few days for "fun and games"? Is Eliot Spitzer not teaching you ANYTHING?

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • Cynnie's picture
    Cynnie
    11

    OH LORD, SO NOT FORGIVE. HOW IN THE HELL IS ANY OF THIS OKAY ? EITHER IF HE TELLS HER OR NOT, THIS IS ALL WRONG. WOMEN NEED TO STICK UP FOR EACHOTHER AND NOT DO THIS SORT OF THING...IT'S IMMORAL.

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • Sun_Sun's picture
    Sun_Sun
    12

    awww well rnt u a little saint, how sweet, u dont want him to leave his wife...
    ur a wh*re
    u dont want him to leave his wife so he wont be a disturbance to ur "marriage"
    wh*re wh*re wh*re

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • rpenner's picture
    rpenner
    13

    I'm not sure what we're being asked to forgive here - that you're having an affair, or that you don't want him to leave his wife? It sounds like we're bing asked to forgive or not forgive the fact that you don't want him to leave his wife for you. Who the hell cares?! You're having an affair! Either way, unforgivable. Ho bag!

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • Kristinh1012's picture
    Kristinh1012
    14

    Wow, you're a sad person. Your mother should be proud! I don't think you should be forgiven. Especially since I can't figure out WHAT exactly you want to be forgiven for? Making it worse? It's not like you were saying........"I had an affair and went away with him, he wants to leave his wife, I want to end this immediately and I feel bad, should I be forgiven?"

    WTF???!!! What kind of sh*t are you on?

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    15

    Wow, talk about having absolutely no respect for anyone else or the institution of marriage. If you and this guy were madly in love, blah blah blah, I might be able to dig up some measure of under- standing,but to have a sordid little affair with a guy you don't even really want? What's that about?

    Has it occurred to you that you can do exactly the same thing you're doing now with a guy who's single and no one else will be affected by your shallowness? Just a thought.

    36 weeks 13 hours ago Report Comment
  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    16

    Im going to come sleep with your husband and take him away for the weekend, and then tell him "ya know its really ok..you dont have to leave your wife" Im sure by me saying that you would be completely ok with the affair, huh? Actually, im sure you probably would be becuase you obviously dont give a sh*t about anyone but yourself

    36 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • Lambsauce's picture
    Lambsauce
    17

    I try really hard to not be harsh in my comments, but this is just insane. I don't care WHAT we're being asked to forgive--the entire situation is absolutely, 100% in NO way forgiveable.
    Hi, you are not the only person in the world. Learn that, please. If both of you aren't in open marriages, and from your asking for forgiveness it sure doesn't sound like you are, then why why WHY are you doing this?? So. Disrespectful.

    36 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • laneylaney's picture
    laneylaney
    18

    nothing is "fun and games" when cheating spouses are involved. get out immediately, you aren't being fair to anyone in this whole situation. do you want your husband to leave you? do you want to feel guilty all the time? do you want everyone around you to get hurt? probably not. stop.

    36 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    19

    LOL. I'm in the minority here - Forgive.

    Basically, you're screwing him for sport. Nothing more, nothing less. Smiling

    Just be careful because you're playing with fire. God forbid, you may fall in love with him, or him with you. The lovesick person may try to sabotage the other person's marriage by coming out to the spouse. Are there children involved? Children could be affected.

    Also, this is taking place in the workplace? Who's the boss of who? If your shenanigans are found out, there may be professional trouble.

    I don't know how good he is in bed, but I truly hope it's worth. You're risking A LOT. There's personal and professional liabilities.

    36 weeks 12 hours ago Report Comment
  • rosey_y's picture
    rosey_y
    23

    Ugh, what she's done is pretty darn low, but is there any reason to jeer at her "wh*re wh*re wh*re"?? That's disgusting behaviour in my opinion, online or not. I love how perceived moral superiority makes people descend into plain old nastiness.

    As for the affair, be VERY careful. There's a lot at stake and it could easily blow up in your face. But I like to think that goes without saying.

    36 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • DearSugar's picture
    DearSugar
    24

    Hey guys, I know everyone has strong opinions when it comes to cheating, but as always, do try to keep in mind that there is a real person behind this post with very real feelings.

    36 weeks 11 hours ago Report Comment
  • ninjastarlett's picture
    ninjastarlett
    25

    What exactly are we voting on "forgive or not forgive" for here? The attitude or the actions?

    36 weeks 10 hours ago Report Comment
  • clarient's picture
    clarient
    26

    If you want fun and games on the side, there is a moral way and an immoral way to get that.

    You can either try to establish an open relationship with your husband, or leave him and establish one with someone else - or, you can just continue sleeping around on him.

    Anything is is just cheating and you probably already know that it's wrong and will end up hurting the people around you.

    36 weeks 10 hours ago Report Comment
  • Trixie6's picture
    Trixie6
    27

    You are playing with fire. You're having an affair with someone in your office which could, potentially, cost you your job. On top of that, you're putting yourself in the position to wreck two marriages and any sort of good reputation you might have. Are there children involved? If so, you really need to think about what your 'fun and games' will do to them if you're found out.

    36 weeks 10 hours ago Report Comment
  • cottonpoots's picture
    cottonpoots
    28

    Looks like it's already escalated into something a bit more naughty ... I say end this "relationship" while you can! You don't want to be gossiped about by all your other co-workers; your reputation (or what's left of it, anyway) and marriage are on the line. As for the forgivable/unforgivable options, your confession honestly doesn't sound very remorseful, so I'm going with the latter for the time being. It's never too late to acknowledge the wrongdoings of your actions and to do something about it though.

    36 weeks 9 hours ago Report Comment
  • TheJadedMball's picture
    TheJadedMball
    29

    What the hell? Are you seriously even asking this question? You tell us this story like you two are doing absolutely nothing wrong..."Fun and Games"!?! If you weren't done having these 'fun and games' you shouldn't even be married!

    36 weeks 8 hours ago Report Comment
  • tlsgirl's picture
    tlsgirl
    30

    Not forgive, not because you don't want him to leave his wife, but because you're hurting your spouse every time that you do it. I feel really sorry for your husband.

    36 weeks 8 hours ago Report Comment
  • Marseeah's picture
    Marseeah
    32

    Why is sexual fidelity so important to all of you? Isn't there a lot more to a relationship than that?

    36 weeks 8 hours ago Report Comment
  • Sun_Sun's picture
    Sun_Sun
    33

    rosey....if this woman was sleeping with ur husband, what would ur sentiments be???

    i wonder?

    36 weeks 7 hours ago Report Comment
  • rosey_y's picture
    rosey_y
    34

    I've been cheated on before Sun_Sun. I never called the woman "wh*re wh*re wh*re" or anything like it. Being hurt doesn't justify stooping that low in my book.

    Besides, this woman's situation has NOTHING to do with you or I personally. So it's not the same as asking what *I'd* do if my husband cheated on me. Some people just love to jump at the first chance to judge and belittle others. Especially from the safety of their keyboards.

    I think this woman gets the message that the majority don't approve. No need to call her horrible names to communicate your thoughts - most of the other posters managed it just fine. Backing up what you say with rational arguments gets a point across better than semi-coherent insults. I usually just skip posts like that anyway.

    36 weeks 6 hours ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    35

    What in the Wide World of Crack Wh*res are you talking about?!

    LMAO.

    i have never heard someone sound so ridiculous.

    damn, i understand that sh*t happens (i DO NOT approve of cheating), but you're suppose to ATLEAST pretend to feel guilty about it! LMAO.

    let me just say, that you're gonna get caught.

    office relationships always leak, some way, some how.

    and it's one thing to say you're working late when you're really at the H*-House (the motel), but to take mini-f*ck-fest vacations?!?!?

    next thing you know, you'll be on here talking about how you got knocked up by him, and you husband doesn't trust you anymore.

    by the way . . .have you heard of this place called Hell. i heard it is hot as . . . well you've heard that one.

    36 weeks 6 hours ago Report Comment
  • isahrangme's picture
    isahrangme
    36

    NOT FORGIVE! Jeez! Not forgive for not wanting him to leave his wife. NOT FORGIVE for having an affair in the first place! I'd hate to be your husband.

    36 weeks 4 hours ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    37

    oh, we're suppose to forgive or not forgive?

    opps. my bad.

    well in that case. I don't care what you do.

    but if you mess with my man (or a close friend's), be looking for a Mercedes coming towards you at about 70, maybe 80 MPH. or do you prefer a hammer???

    i mean, maint. is already crazy for a Benz, and i don't wanna have to explain the big dent in my car . . .you understand, right?

    36 weeks 3 hours ago Report Comment
  • Advah's picture
    Advah
    38

    I really don't see the point of this post.

    From what you say you obviously know that what you're doing is bad (in respect to his wife and your husband, providing they're not cheating on you guys, too) yet are not interested in ending the affair.

    And chances are you know that people here won't encourage someone who says she's having an affair.

    So, do you actually want to know what people think? I don't understand how you can ask for 'forgiveness' since the post is not about the person saying she's doing something wrong; shouldn't this be a 'DearSugar needs your help' post, about whether she should end the affair or talk to him to keep it an affair for instance?

    36 weeks 1 hour ago Report Comment
  • nevaeh1978's picture
    nevaeh1978
    39

    I think it's forgivable as long as you let your husband sleep with his wife Laughing out loud Or any woman he wants!

    How about just having an OPEN marriage with your husband and he with his wife? BE FAIR, if he got this one free ride w/ you, the least you can do is ask your husband to service his wife, right?

    Spouse Swap!!!

    Laughing out loud

    Always be sexually protected, by the way, I hate the thought of you guys spreading STI to each other's spouses.

    Anyway, I Love Asia's comment as usual Laughing out loud

    If I were in that co-worker's wife position...ahh...I have so much repressed anger in me, my spouse will suffer the consequences Laughing out loud

    P.S. Like Asia said, things LEAK, and if you don't get caught now, you'll get caught later and good luck with that. I just hope I don't have to watch y'all on some People's Court...but wait, maybe I hope so too, it's good entertainment.

    36 weeks 17 min ago Report Comment
  • jaxon's picture
    jaxon
    40

    This really isnt a forgive or not question. So I picked nothing It just a confession from another website Bad choice but thanks for the effort.

    They are both scumbags who are cheating on their spouses so now what....

    35 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Liss's picture
    Liss
    41

    You are gross! Does anyone believe in marriage vows anymore? How would you like it if some one was sleeping with your husband? You are ruining some one elses marriage and your own. I hope your husband finds out and divorces your skany ass.

    Sorry i know this is a real person but they deserve it. If you didn't want to have sex with one person for the rest of your life then DON'T get married!

    Geez, people make me sick!

    35 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • lickety split's picture
    lickety split
    42

    is this about the thrills for you? going away for the weekend takes it to the next level in the risk of getting caught dept too. seems like maybe you do want something more from this.

    not forgive because you think it's okay to cheat on your family and the damage that will do to them. selfish.

    35 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • cvandoorn's picture
    cvandoorn
    43

    You are really selfish...do you realize that you're hurting two people here? Just for your pleasure? Grow up!

    NOT FORGIVE.

    35 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Asia84's picture
    Asia84
    44

    i don't see the point in the post.

    i think she just wanted to say;

    "Oh my gawd. I'm sooo married and i get to bang this hot guy at work. and it's all sexy and stuff because NO ONE knows about it. and my husband is soo stupid. and my lover's wife is a fat cow, and oh my gawd. the sex is PHENOMENAL. and he likes bangin' me soo much, he's taking me on a little get away. and oh my gawd . . ."

    that sh*t ain't cute. so stop going around telling folks.

    35 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • cottonpoots's picture
    cottonpoots
    45

    "Why is sexual fidelity so important to all of you? Isn't there a