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Do Tell: Does Being Beautiful Make Things Easier?

Tue, 03/11/2008 - 7:00am by DearSugar
2,348 Views - 84 comments


When it comes to society’s standards of beauty, there are many common notions: beauty is in the eye of the beholder or beauty is only skin deep, to name a few. But there are sometimes negative stigmas attached to really pretty women — that they get whatever they want and they don't need to work as hard as average looking women do. I try not to think that way, but you know what, sometimes I find myself believing it too. So ladies, do tell, do you think it’s true that good looking women — by society's standards — have it easier?

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  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    1

    Not to sound arrogant, yes, we do.

    Granted, being good-looking is NOT all it takes, but it certainly helps. Having positive INNER qualities is important, too, but being attractive helps.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    3

    Yes and no. I cant really answer this without sounding totally conceited so Ill just say it... I've been told from the time I was a little girl that I am beautiful. Ive had random people on street stop my mother to tell her how pretty I am. People always want to know if I wear colored contact or if I die my hair. (because I have blue eyes and very dark brown hair) Ive even had a guy stop me in a bar to ponder whether I have had pastic surgery because "you're face is just too perfect" I realize that that was a retarded pick up line, but still quite flattering. Anyway, I think in some instances, yes it can make life easier. You get noticed more, which can be good or bad depending on the situation. But it sucks because people write you off easier too. The expect that since you are pretty, that must mean you have no personality or no brain. People dont take time to really get to know, because they assume they already know everything about you. I dont want someone to like me because Im pretty. I want someone to like because Im smart, and funny, and loyal. People usually assume that I am stuck up b*tch, because I am shy, and if you are pretty and shy, I guess that makes you stuck up. I have worked very hard to get where I am in my career, and I know that I didnt get here just because Im pretty. But some women do use thier bueaty to thier advantage to get them things.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • petite42's picture
    petite42
    5

    Yes, I believe there's enough research proving this is the case. Humans respond favorably to a pretty face. We are wired to do so. I do think that those who got the lucky genes grow up in an environment that encourages them to be more confident and self-assured and poised, and this attitude brings them more opportunities for success. But even if the cards are stacked in their favor, that doesn't necessarily mean they don't work hard for what they ultimately achieve with all those opportunities. Opportunities can always be squandered!

    And I don't know if this is a negative connotation - to me, it's neutral. It just is the way it is! If you are so lucky, be thankful and appreciative.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • snowbunny11's picture
    snowbunny11
    6

    Yes, beautiful people have it easier! Thanks for admitting it GlowingMoon!

    Obviously beauty is mostly genetic, not something that we have control over. I have to say though, for the small part we do have control over, the better I feel on the inside, the more I want that reflected on the outside. I am more likely to stick to a gym schedule and pay more attention to grooming when I am less depressed and in a better mood!

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • thegiraffe's picture
    thegiraffe
    7

    It could go either way, depending on 1) how you use your looks and 2) what audience you're dealing with.

    If you can combine good looks with a likeable personality, you'll go a longer way than the other option: being impressive because of good looks, but risking the tag of ice princess, or beautiful and arrogant.

    Also, being pretty will work better with a male audience or with people who are not your competitors (i.e. your mom's friends or something, they could be like 'what a pretty daughter you have! you must be so proud'). On the other hand if you're dealing with girls your age who are less pretty by society's standards, or don't have enough va-va-voom or attractive presence, they could hate you for it and not work with you or against you.

    If you're likeable, men will like you for your looks and women will like (or at least not hate) you because you're not arrogant about yourself. I always see there's too kinds of pretty women: the kind that uses their feminine charms with men (which makes them popular only with men and hated by women) and the kind that are pleasant (maybe mildly flirtatious) with men, but also nice to women. They make more friends than enemies.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    8

    ugh...why wont they post my comment, I really dont want to have to type it out again...I didnt curse, there were no links or pictures, so whats the problem?

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • missyd's picture
    missyd
    9

    there flagging alot of comments seemingly unnecessarily lately, allourregrets Sad. I tried to post one on another thread that was perfectly fine and it got flagged

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • aeschere's picture
    aeschere
    10

    definitely, definitely! more often then not i wish i was one of them.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • geebers's picture
    geebers
    11

    Beauty definitely helps you get ahead - it is how the world works. However, the definition of beauty differs from place to place. You may be considered hot one place and ok another.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    12

    Yes I think so too. Being clean, shaven, and looking like you care about your appearance really does help.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    13

    Ok I guess Ill just type my comment out again. grr.

    Yes and no. I cant answer this without sounding conceited so Ill just say it. I've been told since I was a little girl that I was beautiful, people have stopped my mom on the street to tell her how pretty I was, and Ive even had people ask me if Ive had plastic surgery, or ask me if I wear colored contacts..etc. (btw, I am 100% natural) I think that in some instances yes, it can make things easier. But not always. Most of the time I find that people judge me because of the way I look. They assume that I am b*tch, or stuck up, because I am very shy..and if you are shy and pretty, I guess that makes you stuck up. People think that just because I am pretty that I dont have a brain or a personality. I worked very hard to get where I am in my career, and I know that I didnt get here because of my looks. I got here because Im I am smart and dependable. Infact I never even wear makeup to work because I want people to see me for who I am, and not write me off as just another pretty face. I want people to like or dislike me for who I am, not because of the package that I come in.

    (that was something close to my original comment anyway)

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • mn48225's picture
    mn48225
    15

    I think it is also about confidence. And, it seems that good looking people always have the confidence to help them succeed. I also believe that the clothes and the way you present yourself can make you beautiful/handsome. So while you may be the Plain Jane but once you arm yourself with some fashion sense and confidence...you can also be a diva.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • missyd's picture
    missyd
    16

    I totally LOVE how ashcwebb said:

    "Yes I think so too. Being clean, shaven, and looking like you care about your appearance really does help."

    Maybe I'm reading too much into that, but it seems as though she made it a point NOT to say "beautiful people", but indicating that anyone who takes care and pride in thier appearance is considered a beautiful person. How true is that.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • allourregrets's picture
    allourregrets
    17

    I totally agree with you mn. I mentioned in another post that I believe anyone can be beautiful if you preofect the right image. It doesnt matter the face you were born with, if you have a super personality and have confidence in yourself, that will take you anywhere you need to go.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • missbanana's picture
    missbanana
    19

    yes i do think they get ahead more in life. but usually its the once with more confidence and know they are beautiful
    im not sure who said it.. but its true. 50% of being beautiful is thinking you are. because if you dont, neither will anyone else!

    were all beautiful ladies.. and smart!

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • thegiraffe's picture
    thegiraffe
    20

    This is so, so true, I agree with the above five, six posters. Also, it happens so often that girls wear trendy outfits, dye their hair blonde (

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • else411's picture
    else411
    22

    Yes, being perceived as a positive, be it beauty/attractiveness, hot body, lotsa money, or great education, always helps. Studies have proven again and again that we prefer these things.
    Lucky for many of us the idea of beauty/attractiveness - hot body has widen and many more people are now included.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • cvandoorn's picture
    cvandoorn
    23

    Yes, good looking women definitely have it easier. But I should also add that there are other women out there who like to make our lives hard because of jealousy.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Meike's picture
    Meike
    24

    Yes, it has worked to my benefit. When a person feels beautiful and knows she is beautiful, consequently they also are more confident.Couple that beauty with qualities such as intelligence, diligence, athleticism, etc.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • mandy_frost's picture
    mandy_frost
    25

    Yes. Good looking women definitely have it easier. I am not at all pretty and often wonder how different my life would be if I was.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • mandy_frost's picture
    mandy_frost
    26

    oh, btw, to the person who said if you are pretty and shy, you are automatically considered to be a b*tch, be happy you aren't unattractive and shy; then, you are just invisible Sad

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • missyd's picture
    missyd
    27

    Aw Mandy Frost I bet you ARE pretty you just dont think you are is all.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • mooonnaaa's picture
    mooonnaaa
    28

    i may not be the most gorgeous girl out there but i think it comes down to the way i carry myself. inner beauty DOES reflect on the outside and people feed off the energy i project. my life is A LOT easier. ie: preferential treatment, free stuff, etc., etc. it's alllll about confidence!

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • citizenkane's picture
    citizenkane
    29

    I agree with everyone. If you are 'beautiful' on the outside, then you probably have confidence. And confidence will get you far in certain situations. I HATE to admit this, but I recently hired a receptionist for my office and I hired a slightly (sp??) less qualified girl over someone more qualified b/c of her looks. Not to be shallow- but I want someone more put together and inviting to be the first thing people see when they walk into the door. Is that bad??

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Goody's picture
    Goody
    30

    it goes without saying...that looks determine how you are treated...and a great voice doesnt hurt either..

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • sjj158's picture
    sjj158
    31

    the giraffe: yes and no. I believe I just saw an article recently that found that people take brunettes more seriously when it comes to employment and they are promoted more than blondes. (i'm not stating this as fact, just repeating what I read).

    As a brunette I can be honest and say that I've thought about dying my hair blonde to fit further into the "beautiful" people picture. I haven't gone through with it yet.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • KathleenxCouture's picture
    KathleenxCouture
    32

    Yes and No

    Yes because people do look at you a lot more, strike up convos easier, and people just seem to generally be nicer to "beautiful people"

    I would consider myself "beautiful" (no matter how conceited that sounds sorry haha)

    BUT I've read other posts about how some women get free stuff and get seated faster at restaurants etc. etc. and I must say that probably only happens in LA or something because in the mid-west you pretty much get treated the same by just about everyone no matter how beautiful you are the only exception would be more people come up and talk to me or hit on me..i don't get free stuff just because I'm pretty so don't think you are missing out if you dont get free stuff and you are considered beautiful

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • nevaeh1978's picture
    nevaeh1978
    33

    I agree w/ mooonnaaa.

    It's all in the attitude, and if you're not 'blessed' genetically as some super models have Laughing out loud , but if you present yourself well (well-poised, well-dressed, fit, and outgoing, kind, etc), people respond well to you. You may not always get freebies but the way you treat other people usually what will bring the kindness back to you.

    I'm not beautiful, although I know I'm not bad-looking too, I notice difference in people's attitude toward me when I feel happy, was being outgoing and sweet, compared to when I was withdrawn, tired and seemingly 'snobby.' Smiling The previous always results in good relations with other people, while the latter usually caused people to think I was a snob.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • thegiraffe's picture
    thegiraffe
    34

    My God! what happens to these comments once you use a bracket? everything else you type after that disappears Sad

    sjj: yeah I can certainly believe that, because blonde is tied to both beautiful and dumb (prejudices! i'm not saying they're right)

    I'm really amazed at how people feel the need to inform everybody of how beautiful they are through this thread. And frankly yes, it DOES sound conceited. It would sound conceited even if Gisele Bundchen or Heidi Klum said it. I'm not going to say whether I'm considered a beautiful girl or not (you can guess either way) because being online is one of the few places where we can avoid the very prejudices (about pretty girls and less pretty girls) this thread is about.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Jeny's picture
    Jeny
    35

    Good looking women ABSOLUTELY have it easier..

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Bookish's picture
    Bookish
    36

    I'm not a very pretty girl.(I'm not hideously ugly or anything, just sort of plain Jane.) And I know that yes, being beautiful makes things easier when you're a woman. Some pretty girls live up to all those "pretty girl stereotypes"- don't have to work for anything, look down on non-pretty people, and feel that being pretty entitles them to something. But a lot of beautiful people aren't like that. I've seen beautiful women get promotions at work they weren't qualified for, because of their looks. But I've also seen beautiful women not be taken seriously, like they couldn't have intelligence as well as beauty.

    Outward appearance isn't always a good indicator of character. Beauty will fade, but personality is here for keeps.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • ThePerfectScore's picture
    ThePerfectScore
    37

    Yeah.... I know I get a lot of things b/c I'm good looking.... and I don't mind.. I just pray my children get the same advantage...

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • oh cecilia baby's picture
    oh cecilia baby
    38

    i'd say yes & no. there are definite perks that come with being attractive. but more often than not, attractiveness "equates" to lack of intelligence or being stuck-up. for me, it's kind of a backhanded compliment when someone tells me that before they knew me they assumed i stupid or stuck-up or this or that. i guess we all make pre-judgments based off appearance though.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • aimeeb's picture
    aimeeb
    39

    I think it matters to a degree. I mean if you look all disheveled it will affect how people view you. As far as being "beautiful" isn't it in the eye of the beholder? You may be "beautiful" to one person but not the next so who is to say?

    I think the best thing to do is to take care of yourself, care about how you look and your appearance and also try and have a great attitude. Even the most beautiful person can be ugly with a bad attitude...

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • sunlandseagirl's picture
    sunlandseagirl
    40

    Beauty isnt all its cracked up to be...... Beautiful women are more likely to be used for bad purposes. For eg. Men who want them as a trophy to show off to the world or even other women who want to use their friendship to get ahead socially or become popular.....A pretty girl always has to wonder whether the people in her life are there for the right reasons......

    Furthermore, they will never know what it is like to have someone fall in love with personality first....and looks later......because their looks guarantee attraction before they even open their mouths ......

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • thegiraffe's picture
    thegiraffe
    41

    You have a point there. Also, I think in a corporate environment, people are always going to whisper 'did she sleep her way to the top?' if you're in a good position

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Swen's picture
    Swen
    43

    Beauty has its pros and cons. Beautiful people definitely do experience advantages. They may get more favorable treatment, but they also have to deal with wondering if only their beauty got them something rather than personal achievements. And along with good treatment, there are also negative stereotypes. They may be judged to be stupid, superficial, or stuck up based solely on their appearance. Beauty (usually) fades with age though, so any advantages they get won't last forever. If a rich man marries you for arm candy, you can't be surprised when he leaves you in 20 years for a younger, more beautiful woman. Or if you've relied on flirting and your appearance to get promotions at work, eventually this won't work anymore and you may not have built up the skills to continue to advance your career the proper way. If you're beautiful, you should appreciate what advantages it brings you, but learn to use your intelligence and personality over it because those characteristics will always help you. It's also just so much more fulfilling to realize you have earned something for the right reasons.

    36 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • pixiedust1010's picture
    pixiedust1010
    44

    I think it's fine that people are talking about how attractive they are in this thread...you get to a certain point in your life when you can just admit to yourself the truth. I wasn't always the pretty girl, at most I was cute throughout high school, and so I can TOTALLY see a difference now. And you know what, not as much with men as with women. Other attractive women actually pay attention to me now when in the past I was kind of looked over. I've found that very interesting. The negative side to