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Dear Poll: Do You Have to Return the Compliment?

Fri, 02/08/2008 - 1:00pm by DearSugar
589 Views - 20 comments

Etiquette books tell women to compliment other women when first meeting them as a way of breaking the ice. I've noticed that often times, people feel the need to send a compliment back, and it becomes a very forced and uncomfortable situation. I've tried to avoid doing this by telling them where I got my shoes from or how long I've had the earrings — that way I can expand from the typical "thank you" while avoiding a phony exchange. So ladies, when someone gives you a compliment, do you feel like you have to return it?

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20 Comments Add a Comment

  • Lovely_1's picture
    Lovely_1
    1

    I never do...I don't think it's neccesary.
    I just make a point of compliemnting them a couple of weeks later when they have a super cute top on or do their hair differently Smiling

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Sun_Sun's picture
    Sun_Sun
    2

    im not very good at giving or receiving compliments. if someone looks great or has on great shoes or something i'll say it. if not i wont say anything.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • popgoestheworld's picture
    popgoestheworld
    3

    I swear we had this exact same poll just a few months ago. I think it's a sign I spend too much time on here.

    I often just say thanks, and respond with a compliment if I really feel it. I don't think it's rude not to... it's only rude not to say thanks.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • erratic-assassin's picture
    erratic-assassin
    4

    I don't compliment back, cuz I agree...it looks like you're trying too hard. I take it and say "thanks for thinking so!"

    And if I DO compliment, I do it cuz I truly believe in what I say. this one was easy!

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • GlowingMoon's picture
    GlowingMoon
    5

    I always return a compliment. And I'm sincere. Someimes, when I receive a compliment, I would reply with "Thank you, you so kind to say that." That's thanking them AND complimenting them back for their kindness. It serves two purposes, and I'm very sincere about it.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Pistil's picture
    Pistil
    6

    I try to return a compliment.
    A friend complimented my hair on new years eve. I thanked her, and told her 'I like... your hair too...' Then we laughed about it.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • groem6's picture
    groem6
    7

    Agreeing with GlowingMoon: I always say something like "Thank you, how nice of you to notice!" if I i.e. got a new pair of shoes.
    That is complimenting people on their complienting-skills Smiling

    I think more people should be better at accepting and giving compliments. If you get a compliment, it's surely at least to be kind, and that is nice! Maybe they even do think your hair looks good, which is nicer!

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • clarient's picture
    clarient
    8

    I'd rather just accept the compliment graciously. Spitting a compliment back automatically kind of makes it seem like *I* would only give compliments because I expected the same thing in return.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • time_after_time's picture
    time_after_time
    10

    I just say thanks and then maybe say something about the piece they're complimenting. Like, thanks, I got these boots in Paris last summer... Have you gone anywhere interesting lately.... etc

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • emalove's picture
    emalove
    11

    I definitely don't compliment people just for the sake of giving a compliment. And I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me!

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • indielove's picture
    indielove
    12

    i do return compliments and i'm very genuine about it. i always give compliment anyway, not expecting to get one back.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Meike's picture
    Meike
    13

    Innate habit. Bred under Japanese culture which somewhat enforces this behavior. For the most part, I'm sincere.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Matdredalia's picture
    Matdredalia
    14

    I'm usually the one giving compliments. In all honesty, I'm so used to well, being insulted in highschool and college, that when someone gives me a compliment, I just kind of stutter and blush. However, I am really big on complimenting someone because A) I'm not one to shut up when I have something say and B) I know it can really make someones day, as the few times I've been complimented have really meant a lot to me.

    So...I don't feel I have to, but I try to compliment in general.

    40 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • leeluvfashion's picture
    leeluvfashion
    15

    Most of the time I compliment back however I start off by saying "thank you, i bought it at so-so place" and then i complimant them, whether it's their earrings, dress, whatever... I find it a kind gesture.

    40 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • pamelamarie88's picture
    pamelamarie88
    16

    If I were to compliment someone and they quick-fired a compliment back, I would absolutely doubt their sincerity, regardless of how nice they tried to sound. A compliment for the sake of complimenting, regardless of motive, does not mean anything. Sure, people may feel it is a nice gesture, but how much better does it feel to hear a compliment completely out of the blue- those compliments make you feel great all day. I refuse to compliment back, because I feel insincere despite if I genuinely like their _____, and also because I feel that it takes away from their compliment. They were trying to be nice by complimenting you, so let them know it made you feel great!

    40 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • scotlandrulz's picture
    scotlandrulz
    17

    i hate being commented on but only sometimes i compliment other people its too hard to lol!!!

    xxxx

    40 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Marci's picture
    Marci
    18

    I return the compliment if I genuinely have one to share. Otherwise, I do what you do, Dear, and chatter on about whatever they complimented me on. It seems to work. Smiling

    40 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • remedios's picture
    remedios
    19

    I'm horrible at accepting compliments. If I were to return a compliment, it would sound insincere. I suck at small talk type things. I wish I could get better at it.

    40 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • pixelsugar's picture
    pixelsugar
    20

    I give them a compliment back if I genuinely like something of their's. But usually I try to expand the conversation as well. Never know, I might make this person a friend!

    40 weeks 20 hours ago Report Comment

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